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Going to shop and leaving baby.

(98 Posts)
ManaPana Mon 21-Jan-19 08:23:42

Just had a discussion with DH.

He's got the car, DS has a fever, I was having a bit of a moan as he was meant to do shopping yesterday. I looked in the fridge and he didn't go. Not a big deal, he usually does it and his dad came round unannounced, plus Sunday shopping. It slipped his mind.

I said I need some food. DS has a temperature. I'm exhausted. I'll get a pizza takeaway.

He said why don't I just leave DS home for 5 mins whilst I nip to the shop (realistically this would probably take 10 mins).

I'm shocked he would leave a 13 week old baby at home on his own. If he woke up and nobody was there he could be left screaming for 10 or more minutes. What if there was a fire? (Unlikely but could happen), our house was burgled, or he had a car accident? Again all unlikely but possible!

AIBU to be really nervous about his way of thinking? To think it's bad he even suggested this?

MsPavlichenko Mon 21-Jan-19 08:26:41

No. You are not. He is.

Jamiefraserskilt Mon 21-Jan-19 08:27:13

Home delivery.
No, you don't leave a baby home alone, that's just ludicrous.

ManaPana Mon 21-Jan-19 08:28:21

In my head, it's a really big deal to leave a tiny baby home on his own. The midwife said he isn't to sleep away from me for the first 6 months. I don't even spend more than 2 minutes in the shower when I'm on my own with him because he's a needy baby (aren't they all!) and hates to be on his own if he wakes up. I'm upset DH thinks this is okay to do. I can't imagine doing it.

Onescaredmuma Mon 21-Jan-19 08:28:24

Yes that was a seriously bad call. I think the telling bit would be how he reacted when you said of course you wouldn't be doing that. If he had a serious brain fart moment and was embarrassed it might be a one off but if he defended himself that's a completely different situation.

ManaPana Mon 21-Jan-19 08:29:30

@Onescaredmuma he just said fair enough if you're not comfortable, but I'm sure he'd be fine.

SamBaileys Mon 21-Jan-19 08:29:38

Yes, I think its bad that he even suggested it.

Magpiefeather Mon 21-Jan-19 08:34:31

Yeah that’s not okay. Anything could happen. Make sure your DH wouldn’t do this if the roles were reversed!

Onescaredmuma Mon 21-Jan-19 08:34:39

Sorry then he's unreasonable would he never leave baby alone because you are uncomfortable with it or do you think he feel it was OK to leave baby as He feels comfortable with it. Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving baby with someone who might make that decision.

LL83 Mon 21-Jan-19 08:35:02

I wouldn't do it, but I understand why he would consider it. He is respecting your opinion on this which is the important thing.

Seline Mon 21-Jan-19 08:36:53

I know people who have but I wouldn't do it. Bad idea.

ManaPana Mon 21-Jan-19 08:37:40

I think the fact that he's got an on and off fever (thought it was his jabs, but looks like he has a cold now) makes it even worse...

LL83 Mon 21-Jan-19 08:38:11

For the first 6 months baby should sleep in the same room as you overnight, you can let them nap in another room.

2019Dancerz Mon 21-Jan-19 08:38:11

Well he’s laying the groundwork for not being expected to look after his own baby any time soon.

VoteForPedrosLlama Mon 21-Jan-19 08:38:15

It's concerning that he thinks this is ok.

2019Dancerz Mon 21-Jan-19 08:38:43

That’s not what the guidelines say LL83, what has given you that idea??

ManaPana Mon 21-Jan-19 08:40:49

@LL83 I was told by HV and midwife that they're to sleep in same room as you day AND night. It's okay for a few minutes but it's my personal choice not to be away from him for too long until he's 6 months. I certainly wouldn't leave the house without him.

Twickerhun Mon 21-Jan-19 08:42:01

I can understand the temptation but no way should you leave the baby.
And yes baby doesneed to nap In The same room as you.

putthewashinginthedryer Mon 21-Jan-19 08:43:24

So now you don't trust him alone with the baby and can never leave the house without your child. How convenient for DH.

Bumblebee39 Mon 21-Jan-19 08:45:00

Since when were they meant to nap in the same room as you? How are you meant to clean the house or have a shower?

Jackshouse Mon 21-Jan-19 08:45:13

For the first 6 months ALL sleeps need to be in a room with an adult. ‘Cot death’ does not just happen on a night time.

No you shouldn’t leave a baby alone in the house.

ApolloandDaphne Mon 21-Jan-19 08:47:02

Of course you shouldn't leave him. However if your shop is fairly close i would wrap him up warmly, pop him in the pram and take him out. The cool fresh air may be good for you both. Taking him out won't make him worse and you might enjoy being out.

Seline Mon 21-Jan-19 08:47:06

I wouldn't leave the room for hours but as someone else said, how are you supposed to shower or go to the loo, or cook something to eat?

TheWernethWife Mon 21-Jan-19 08:47:43

How could getting some shopping "slipped his mind" - shops are open for about 6 hours on Sunday, plenty of time for him to chat with his dad and still buy food.

perfectstorm Mon 21-Jan-19 08:51:50

Insane suggestion on his part. Completely insane.

Hope the takeaway is delicious, and sorry you're having a tough day.

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