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AIBU for not telling DH my first love has returned?

(328 Posts)

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sarah2014 Sat 19-Jan-19 18:06:22

Okay first thread so bare with me I’m new to all this but have no idea who else to ask
Long story short 10years ago I thought I met a guy I was madly in love with, first proper bf first intimate partner etc, we only dated for 2 years when we decided to marry, however one day way before the wedding day he TEXT me saying he doesn’t love me anymore, I took the break up really badly didn’t get into a relationship for a good 3 years after this (when I met current DH) for obvious trust issues
Met DH 3 years later we are now married with 2 kids everything is great, we have good steady jobs we own a lovely house and financially are settled.
Now out for the blue I get an email from my ex, he says he really really wants to meet me he’s tried searching for me on all social networks (I use my married name hence why he hasn’t found me) and he’s managed to get my email through an old acquaintance he didn’t mention who.
He explains he’s been in jail and did a lot of thinking and how he treated me and through all 10years it’s only ever been me he’s truly loved.
I haven’t replied
I haven’t told DH
What do I do?

BaconPringles Sat 19-Jan-19 18:07:59

Tell your ex to fuck off?
He text you to call off the wedding
He’s been in the jail
And he’s been creeping everywhere trying to get your contact details

Yeah tell your DH, and tell him you told your ex to do one!

Sleepyheads123 Sat 19-Jan-19 18:08:23

Delete and ignore! He’s been in jail so not really a catch!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Sat 19-Jan-19 18:08:35

I'd ignore, sorry. Your life sounds good and how do you know he's changed? x

SillySallySingsSongs Sat 19-Jan-19 18:09:21

Tell him to fuck off and tell you DH he has been in contact.

Chickychoccyegg Sat 19-Jan-19 18:09:22

tell dh, email back and tell him to piss off, or completely ignore/block this guy, there's nothing he can say that you need to hear

TurtleCove Sat 19-Jan-19 18:09:35

He's not worth your time. Ignore him.

jamoncrumpets Sat 19-Jan-19 18:10:17

Well clearly you should go off with this man, OP, he sounds like an absolute catch

HollowTalk Sat 19-Jan-19 18:10:53

He must think you're stupid. And I reckon he thinks you'll be his saviour now and have him back, as though he hasn't been away.

Bring this out into the daylight and tell your husband about it. Don't keep it as a secret between you and your ex.

CaptainMarvelDanvers Sat 19-Jan-19 18:11:15

You know that he’s probably burnt his bridges with everyone in his life and you’re his last resort.

Jiggins Sat 19-Jan-19 18:11:15

Oh this is an easy one. Tell your ex to sling his hook.

I was worried it would be one of those 'we desperately wanted to be together but circumstances beyond our control (war! scheming relatives! an earthquake!) drove us apart' stories. But from what I can tell he broke your heart in a pretty cruel way and is now feeling a bit nostalgic and nosey.

Nah.

JacquesHammer Sat 19-Jan-19 18:11:23

What do I do?

Tell your H he’s contacted you and that you’re not replying.

Block the ex.

Apileofballyhoo Sat 19-Jan-19 18:11:30

You had a lucky escape. Tell DH and delete and block.

melissasummerfield Sat 19-Jan-19 18:11:43

hmm you seriously don't know the answer to this hmm

Smellbellina Sat 19-Jan-19 18:11:52

Ignore!!!!!!!! And tell your DH

Jiggins Sat 19-Jan-19 18:12:22

And he's been in jail! I missed that part grin

He did you a favour all those years ago really.

PoisonButTasty Sat 19-Jan-19 18:12:46

Don’t let him mess with your head

HomeMadeMadness Sat 19-Jan-19 18:12:54

Just tell him you're not interested in talking to him and ask him not to get in touch again.

If it were me I'd mention to DH that my ex had emailed and I'd told him to jog on.

Shoxfordian Sat 19-Jan-19 18:13:37

Block and delete op
Block
And
Delete

PinkHeart5914 Sat 19-Jan-19 18:14:06

Tell you ex to fuck off, let’s face it good men don’t go to prison do they? So I would say the best thing to happen to you was him not marrying you.

Be grateful fate never let you marry him and seriously just forget the waste of space

ILoveChristmasLights Sat 19-Jan-19 18:15:31

If only life were that simple hey.

Before he got in touch, how did you feel about him?

How has this made you feel about him and about your life now?

I would need to see him and talk to him. He’s opened the can of worms, I couldn’t pretend he hadn’t. I think things are far better sorted out than left to fester or gain momentum.

Honeyroar Sat 19-Jan-19 18:15:44

Why wouldn’t you tell your husband? Would you really want to meet up with the man that hurt you and dumped you so suddenly? Why would you?? He was worth nothing, he wasn’t the one.

trooth Sat 19-Jan-19 18:16:02

"Hi wankstain,

You lost any right to contact me the moment you broke off our wedding by text.

Now piss off"

And tell DH.

Littlefrog99 Sat 19-Jan-19 18:16:45

If I were you I'd tell DH and have a good laugh at what a CF the ex is. If you're happy in your relationship why would you risk it by giving your time to this man? It's normal to wonder "what if" but he's answered that, you would have had a man who was in prison for whatever reason. Sounds to me like he did you a favour by ending it.

ZoeZebra1 Sat 19-Jan-19 18:20:21

I'm a bitch so I would probably reply
"Sorry who is this?"

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