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Invitations to MY house and I'm not invited...

(157 Posts)
cantbearsed007 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:16:39

He just moved in. To my house. I love him dearly.

Invite through the post - to him. Only him. He's clarified with them - I'm not invited.

Christening / bah-mitzvah / wedding breakfast / funeral wake type invite.

"We're restricted on numbers. Oh there's simply no room for HER."

AIBU to be a little peeved?

Racecardriver Sun 20-Jan-19 15:00:13

@hopoindown some people get offended when they are asked to participate in religious celebrations belonging to other religions. They may have had a bad experience in the past? There was a thread over Christmas about some atheist neighbours who got pissed off over a Christmas card for example.

flowergrrl77 Sun 20-Jan-19 14:45:00

Sorry to have worried you for a moment there @perfectstorm ! bear

Confusedbeetle Sun 20-Jan-19 14:32:18

All of those occasions?

Hopoindown31 Sun 20-Jan-19 14:21:00


Oh also are you Christian? They may be only inviting Christians?

Obviously can't speak for other denominations, but as a practicing anglican this would be most unusuall and definitely not a christian way to behave.

perfectstorm Sun 20-Jan-19 13:15:53

@flowergrrl77 oh bless you!

I was looking through 'watched threads' and all it showed was, "perfectstorm I have reported your post..." and I was, "Eh? I've been a good girl on this thread; I'm sure I have!" So it was a nice surprise to click and see I was being reported for positive reasons. grin

I would like that emoticon. People might notice that when they wouldn't a wall of words, maybe. And sometimes it can really hurt the OP's feelings, I think, if something major has developed.

flowergrrl77 Sun 20-Jan-19 10:13:19

@perfectstorm have reported your post with a note to please do what this awesome person suggests to create the emoticon!

cantbearsed007 Sun 20-Jan-19 09:24:01

@HumptyNumptyNooNoo - that's a really good idea.

@Yulebealrite - my kids are kids. But yes. They are well behaved. Bribery and corruption is used, obviously, but yes they are good. They've hung out with these people enough for them to know that. Having said that just worked out the weekends and they're with their dad then anyways.

cantbearsed007 Sun 20-Jan-19 09:21:32

@YankeeDad and @MatildaTheCat - I don't think it's a strict conformist religion thing, they certainly never raised it for the 3 yrs I known them, nor did they have issues crashing here frequently after a night out - so alcohol no issue, staying in my house with me and OH when he didn't live here no issue.

@josbd  - inserts cancel the cheque emoticon (great idea @perfectstorm!)

Racecardriver Sun 20-Jan-19 09:17:45

Oh also are you Christian? They may be only inviting Christians?

Racecardriver Sun 20-Jan-19 09:15:01

They may just have a no ring no bring rule to limit numbers.

Yulebealrite Sun 20-Jan-19 09:14:33

Is there any way you can check if it really is a number issue?

Yulebealrite Sun 20-Jan-19 09:12:14

I think dp should make an excuse and not go.

It's a bit of a blatant snub as it doesn't really sound a number issue.

Are your kids well behaved op?

DameSquashalot Sun 20-Jan-19 08:41:54

josbd 🙄

I think it's unusual OP. Especially since you've known them 3 years.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo Sun 20-Jan-19 08:33:38

Personally if this had happened to us We'd send a message back saying thanks and hope you have a lovely time, but as places are tight we'd be more than happy to go out for a meal /picnic/brunch etc at a later date to celebrate together.

Returning2thesceneofthecrime Sun 20-Jan-19 08:31:25

perfectstorm - I love the idea of a cancel the cheque emoticon! I’m going to try to flag your post up to MNHQ in the hope that they will create one!

perfectstorm Sun 20-Jan-19 08:13:59

That takes cancel the cheque into the stratosphere.

I've read responses where people haven't read beyond the OP, so many times, but never one where someone hasn't even done that. Until now!

(I've had a thought, which would have been worthless here admittedly - I wish MN would create an emoticon for cancelling the cheque. If enough people posted it in a complex and long thread, it might alert newcomers to actually read the damn thing. And the capacity to post it would be cheering anyway!)

SoyDora Sun 20-Jan-19 08:00:20

josbd at least try and pretend you’ve read the thread.

HeckinHell Sun 20-Jan-19 07:58:06

josbd - did you read ANY of the thread?

TheLittleDogLaughed Sun 20-Jan-19 07:46:43

Since you’ve been together for 17,560 I think he should refuse to go.

Proudandlovable0201 Sun 20-Jan-19 04:59:40

I mean 1. They clearly prefer him
2. There is defo a resson you have not been invited 🙈
3. Are you planning on christening your baby ? If so didn’t invite either of them

josbd Sun 20-Jan-19 04:54:47

Whatever the party is, whoever it is for, the point surely is that the venue of the party is at OP's house!!

I am very sorry... nah I Ilie. Until your laddie grows up enough to take responsibility for a party, it bloody well is not happening. Most especially when you are not even invited. I know it is likely unfair, but it sounds as tho he has left his parents home, and moved in with you. The first thing to do? RAR let's have a party!! And who, I wonder will be nursing his poor wee head, while cleaning up after their party?

I am not trying to be mean to you op. Actually, this thought sounds very familiar to me. Do not let him, and his mates take the piss out of you.

perfectstorm Sat 19-Jan-19 23:31:33

@Linlou82, OP has been friends with the couple longer than she's been with her OP. That's why she's upset - they're her friends, independently, too. It's not the same situation.

mirialis Sat 19-Jan-19 22:41:37

Look, ultimately, if after proper reflection and not just emotional response, it seems like - everything in consideration - YOU are being singled out... then, yes, DP stays home with you and you do something nice together. Just be sure that about what is happening before you act.

Travisandthemonkey Sat 19-Jan-19 22:08:01

All these people that say this is normal
It’s really not

Linlou82 Sat 19-Jan-19 21:58:57

I have been with my husband 6 years 1 and a half married.

My friend who I have known over 30 years has only invited me to the christening of her baby boy as the church is strict on numbers (I am the only non family member invited)

Didn’t bother me at all - she explained when giving the invite. They probably should have given a heads up but his friends don’t automatically become yours, if they have known him years and not had chance to get to know you I think it’s fine to not be invited.

Be gracious and say would be nice to have them all over after the christening to get to know the family more, then when a birthday comes up you are invited to the party!

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