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Invitations to MY house and I'm not invited...

(157 Posts)
cantbearsed007 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:16:39

He just moved in. To my house. I love him dearly.

Invite through the post - to him. Only him. He's clarified with them - I'm not invited.

Christening / bah-mitzvah / wedding breakfast / funeral wake type invite.

"We're restricted on numbers. Oh there's simply no room for HER."

AIBU to be a little peeved?

londonrach Fri 18-Jan-19 21:58:45

Whats the problem. He lives there invites will come there. Sounds new relationship. You taking this too personal op

ExFury Fri 18-Jan-19 21:59:14

You’re not going to be invited to everything he is, just as he’s not going to be invited to everything you are.

user139328237 Fri 18-Jan-19 22:00:24

Was he the OM and is your ex invited or something?

Leeds2 Fri 18-Jan-19 22:00:27

Is DP going to go?

ShatnersBassoon Fri 18-Jan-19 22:00:42

How are they supposed to invite him? Text with instructions not to mention it to you?

These people are obviously not your biggest fans, and it seems that you're not bothered about them either. You're missing a Christening for a baby you've never clapped eyes on and a buffet in a community centre. It's not worth getting cross about.

decemberfrost Fri 18-Jan-19 22:02:42


You and your DP have been together 24 months? Surely you mean 104 weeks OP? grin

Seriously, YANBU. It's awful when you are excluded from the life of your partner's friends and family. Especially when you have kids together...

Is HE going? If he loves you, then surely he shouldn't go. If it was me, and my partner was being left out, I would be declining any invitations, (and I would be saying why... )

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 18-Jan-19 22:04:35

Oh there's simply no room for HER

To be fair though, when I was pg with DC2 there wouldn't have been room for me in a barn, let alone a barge .

Wherever you stood in the room, you were next to me .........wink ."

decemberfrost Fri 18-Jan-19 22:10:15

hmm The OP has every right to be upset at being left out, and as she has been with her DP 2 years and they have DC together, he should be defending her more, fighting in her corner, and not allowing his 'friends' to treat his partner like shit.

Holy fuck, I was invited to family occasions of my boyfriend (now my DH) when I had been with him for less than a year. A Christening after 5 months of being with him, a wedding after 9 months of being with him, and his parents 30th wedding anniversary party when we had been together 11 months.

I was also invited on holiday with his best friend since they were 7, (and his best friend's girlfriend,) just after we had been together a year. We had no DC and were not living together.

The OP's partner's friends/family excluding the OP are arseholes.

CosmicComet Fri 18-Jan-19 22:11:00

YANBU. It’s extremely rude to only invite half of a serious couple. DH’s friends only invited him to their wedding. They got bitten by karma and ended up divorced grin

PinkAvocado Fri 18-Jan-19 22:14:15

Sounds new relationship

No it doesn’t! 2 years and a baby on the way is not new relationship territory.

HerRoyalNotness Fri 18-Jan-19 22:14:21

You know who you can leave off the christening/naming ceremony list when your baby arrives now

Pinkprincess1978 Fri 18-Jan-19 22:16:16

I think with the additional info I would be less than impressed too and I would hope my dp wouldn't go if I'm honest. This isn't like a wedding where each guest costs a fortune it's likely a buffet (possibly a family made buffet?£ so one more surely won't break the bank.

PastaCake Fri 18-Jan-19 22:19:13

Now you've explained a bit more I would say I'd be annoyed in your situation. If it was a wedding with a £60+ per head situation I could just about understand why you might not be invited.

MercedesDeMonteChristo Fri 18-Jan-19 22:20:10

I was invited to a wedding last year addressed only to me. DH of 15 years not invited. DH didn’t know the bride or want to come and I didn’t mind, but I thought it was the done thing to invite a plus one or a spouse at least. My background is different and they would have invited my grandad too.

ballsdeep Fri 18-Jan-19 22:22:13

Are the friends friends with the ex?

Fraying Fri 18-Jan-19 22:23:03

In light of the drip feed, YANBU. Is he planning on going? I'd expect him to turn it down. You're a family now and they actually have to make room for you or not invite your DP.

Drum2018 Fri 18-Jan-19 22:23:50

Main question is - is he going to go? I'd be peeved too. Maybe they think you'll want to bring the kids and don't want that.

buckeejit Fri 18-Jan-19 22:26:39

So you're pissed off you've decided to share a home with someone that you're in a relationship with, and they've received an invite that doesn't include you?

I'd be a bit pissed off probably but also I don't think you should automatically assume that you're suddenly entitled to go to everything just because you live together. It's not the host's fault he moved into your house.

Ariela Fri 18-Jan-19 22:34:53

Do you actually WANT to go to a Christening? Can assure you they're pretty boring.

minipie Fri 18-Jan-19 22:41:31

You have a baby on the way but he only moved in on 1 January?

Were you the OW (I realise this is massive leaping to conclusions... but would explain why you’re NFI’d if his ex is invited)

sizzledrizz Fri 18-Jan-19 22:47:04

This happened with my ex, he had been spreading shit about me, and telling people lies about me. What does your dp think of it?

Boysandbuses Fri 18-Jan-19 22:51:00

Do they think If they invite you they must invite your kids and there is no room for all of you?

Witchend Fri 18-Jan-19 22:55:29

You've a 2yo and have been with him 24months-do they know your ex and think you treated him badly?

incywincybitofa Fri 18-Jan-19 23:02:23

I would be peeved, how you came together may or may not rankle some people there, but you are together now. TBH if either ex is there I am fairly sure they would want to see neither of you rather than just not see one of you.
I had a friend whose DW thought our adoption placement was designed to eclipse her pregnancy and we haven't seen them since. Strange but true.

cantbearsed007 Fri 18-Jan-19 23:07:46

Again, apologise - we are still discussing.

My 2 original DC are not his. He moved in recently - I have wanted another DC for ages, didn't realise I would fall in love again. Pregnancy was a bit of a surprise.

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