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Invitations to MY house and I'm not invited...

(157 Posts)
cantbearsed007 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:16:39

He just moved in. To my house. I love him dearly.

Invite through the post - to him. Only him. He's clarified with them - I'm not invited.

Christening / bah-mitzvah / wedding breakfast / funeral wake type invite.

"We're restricted on numbers. Oh there's simply no room for HER."

AIBU to be a little peeved?

halfwitpicker Fri 18-Jan-19 21:35:58


ILoveMaxiBondi Fri 18-Jan-19 21:39:01

So you object to your partner having invitations that don’t include you because you think that them being sent to your (his now) address should mean you are automatically invited?

donquixotedelamancha Fri 18-Jan-19 21:39:16

If he lives at yours now, where else is his mail supposed to go?

I did wonder this.

AIBU to be a little peeved?

Since you've never met them, you've only been dating 2 weeks and the party is on a barge, so they really are short on space, I thing YAB a little bit U.

<When these no-info OPs periodically appear I like to just answer random scenarios>

OrdinarySnowflake Fri 18-Jan-19 21:39:45

So you have only just moved in together? I would normally say if you were tight on numbers, then 'dating, not living together' would be an ok to not invite, it could be the invite list was drawn up before he moved, and just has been posted to his new address

FascinatingCarrot Fri 18-Jan-19 21:39:56

@don grin

ElevenSmiles Fri 18-Jan-19 21:40:24

Part 2...tomorrow next week ?

Holidayshopping Fri 18-Jan-19 21:40:34

Your post title reads like you received an invitation to a do at your HOUSE that you weren’t invited to!

DanielRicciardosSmile Fri 18-Jan-19 21:40:41

I thought this was going to be about someone inviting people to your house and telling you to go out.

PastaCake Fri 18-Jan-19 21:40:51

Christening / bah-mitzvah / wedding breakfast / funeral wake type invite.

It possibly depends which one of these it is, how big the even is and who it is from. Also who you are in relation to him. And if whoever sent it knows of your existence. Couples don't have to do everything together.

EverlyNow Fri 18-Jan-19 21:42:24

So you’ve just moved in together and you now expect to be invited to all the same events??

It doesn’t work like that. This issue isn’t what his post address is. Impossible to comment properly without knowing more about your relationship with the host of the event!

Namechangeforthiscancershit Fri 18-Jan-19 21:42:41

Your post title reads like you received an invitation to a do at your HOUSE that you weren’t invited to!

YES this is what I thought too and I was outraged! Anyway I’ve calmed down now.

I don’t think posting the invite to your house is relevant given that’s where he lives.

Whether or not it’s reasonable for you not to be invited depends on a million factors.

ISmellBabies Fri 18-Jan-19 21:43:20

From the title I thought they were inviting people to your house for a party you weren't invited to. Now that would be cheeky. As for this situation, I've no idea as you haven't put what your situation is (Are you the ow? How long you've been together? Kids? Who's inviting him? Do you know them? What's the event, who for? etc etc). I'm not sure you could've provided any less information tbh, is it a guessing game?!

Crunchymum Fri 18-Jan-19 21:43:45

How long are you going to leave us all frothing before you drip feed?

Sigh, MN is getting so formulaic these days.

cantbearsed007 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:44:14

I love the fact the party is on a barge! I now understand the reasons for the non-invite....

Sorry. We are just discussing why I'm so peeved. Been together 24 months, he moved in 1 Jan. Predominantly his friends, (although I've known them 3 years...) we've not seen since May (they had a baby...) and it's a church christening - party after in a memorial hall.

Holidayshopping Fri 18-Jan-19 21:45:56

Been together 24 months

24 months grin.

cantbearsed007 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:46:43

Just realised that makes 2 years. I've got baby-month-brain.

Jamiefraserskilt Fri 18-Jan-19 21:46:51

Restricted numbers in a hall? Hmmmmm.
Church is usually open to everyone,

AcrossthePond55 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:47:03

Your post title reads like you received an invitation to a do at your HOUSE that you weren’t invited to!

That's what I thought too!

@cantbearsed007 If you 'can't be arsed' to give enough backstory to make a judgement call on, then I'm going to say YABU simply on principle.

ElevenSmiles Fri 18-Jan-19 21:49:19

I can see why you haven't been invited.

beansontoastfortea Fri 18-Jan-19 21:50:19

Tbh op, this would annoy me if my DP went without me but that's just me... as they are friends I wouldn't worry/take it to heart... if it were family I definitely would

You've been together 2 years and living together, it's not a stag do ffs it's a christening and therefore can't see why you wouldn't be invited.. some people are rude and like to cause trouble.. forget them but if I were in your shoes I would feel much better if DP stood by me and said he's not going

beansontoastfortea Fri 18-Jan-19 21:50:53

Have you got dc together op?

cantbearsed007 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:53:51

I don't mean to drip feed - we have a baby on the way and I have DC (2) from a previous relationship. Just a bit put out about a hand delivered invite from his (I thought now our...) mates just to him.

If I'm being precious that's fine, just feel a little peeved is all!

AcrossthePond55 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:54:57

OOPs!! X-posted!

Together two years, living together around 2 weeks but if you have 'baby brain' it's obviously a serious relationship then as you have a child together. I think it's rather rude to exclude you, especially since you've known them three years.

Have you been excluded from other friends' parties? Is this couple a friend of one of his exes or something? Did they really refer to you as "HER" in the way one does when trying to make a point? Because if questions 1 and 2 are 'no', and question 3 is 'yes', then IMO they simply don't like you for some reason.

What does your DP think?

AcrossthePond55 Fri 18-Jan-19 21:58:02

Just saw your most recent......Is there any way the baby's mum thinks you 'stole her glory' by getting pregnant when all the attention should be on her and her new baby?

FYI, I had one of my DH's (former) friend's wife 'take against me' for some reason known only to her. I never did figure it out but from day one she was snippy to me and excluded me from their get togethers.

beansontoastfortea Fri 18-Jan-19 21:58:27

The fact you have a baby on the way changed everything... you come as a team.. honestly fuck em

My DP has a friend and both him and his partner ignore me even in my own house... We had a party for DP and his friends a year ago... they came 2 hours late,didn't speak to me, they didn't say thanks when leaving... they did mention how much effort dp had put in even though my back was broken having to keep everything fresh and hot for them and serving the friends that arrived on time... waiting and then doing it all again for those two who were late... I thought Fuck me they were rude... then we bumped into them out trick and treating on Halloween and they totally blanked me again... some people are just ignorant

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