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to not want to go by train.

(226 Posts)
Frazzled2207 Fri 18-Jan-19 13:40:36

I have posted before about husband who is very worried about climate change. I am also worried and we are taking lots of steps to reduce our carbon footprint but there's a limit to what I'm prepared to do (at the moment). Currently down to one car and saving for an electric. Solar panels on roof (these cost a fortune). Cutting down on unnecessary purchases (he literally never buys new clothes but accepts stuff I get him for birthdays etc). Massively cut down on meat

Anyway he never wants to fly again. I have said that I am willing to cut down on flying to maybe once every year or two but am not going to say I'm never getting on a plane again.

So his best mate who we see very rarely lives in a nice part of Europe. I also get on well with the mate and his wife and they have kids similar ages to ours who are young primary age. They have invited us to stay this summer.

Husband wanted to look into going by train so I did. In some depth.
Train option costs between £800 and £1000 for four of us. We are up north so this means three hours in a train (cross London) then Eurostar to Paris (cross Paris) then four hours in a train. With two small children and luggage in tow. The way the train works we would leave the house at 6.30am and get there for 10pm.

Or.... there is a flight option. Both we and the friends are close to an airport and direct flight for all four of us costs £300 if we're savvy.

He thinks we should take the train despite the fact that it is enormously more expensive and stressful. I have suggested a compromise that we fly one way and train the other way. But I am not up for the train both ways. The kids are not easy to entertain and having to cross Paris with them in a bit of a rush on a summer Saturday fills me with dread, as well as getting to our friends' house really late when they will be super grumpy.

We can consider overnight in Paris etc but obviously it all adds to the cost and he has limited leave.

AIBU to not want to go by train? I have said me and the kids will fly and he can get the train. But he doesn't think that gives the right message to our children (that flying is an unnecessary luxury), nor does flying one way.

Both of us want to go to see the mate, if we just don't go there will need to go somewhere else for our summer holidays and will probably have exactly the same argument. I'm just not sure how to resolve this as we are both as stubborn as Mrs May and Mr Corbyn at the moment.

Frazzled2207 Fri 18-Jan-19 13:42:10

I should add we did go by train to see them once, before we had the kids - It was fine (albeit expensive), we overnighted in Paris etc. But it's different with small kids isn't it?

icannotremember Fri 18-Jan-19 13:43:06

I'm with your husband. I suspect I will be in a tiny minority there, though.

blackteasplease Fri 18-Jan-19 13:44:04

I'd just say fine we won't go.

IamPickleRick Fri 18-Jan-19 13:44:31

He takes the train, you and kids take the plane. That train journey would be horrific for children when a much easier option is readily available. Why make them miserable on purpose.

blackteasplease Fri 18-Jan-19 13:44:41

Trains must-have more of an impact on environment that going nowhere at all.

SushiMonster Fri 18-Jan-19 13:44:45

He can do what he like with his emissions. You can do what you like with yours.

You don't have to have the same ethics.

You fly. He can either train on his own, or take the kids on the train. Bet he doesn't find that such a fun idea.

HatFullofStars Fri 18-Jan-19 13:44:46

Tell him you'll fly and he can take the kids by train - just so they can get the right message.

mathsquestions Fri 18-Jan-19 13:45:39

Madness. Everything has a cost / benefit and the cost is too high

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Fri 18-Jan-19 13:46:08

If HE wants to make a difference, HE can train it. With the DC if you fancy a flight in peace.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 18-Jan-19 13:46:24

Could you hire an electric car (and make him drive )

yy558 Fri 18-Jan-19 13:46:42

Drive , if you book early the Eurotunnel can be cheap? Technically it's not the same level of carbon footprint as a plane...

YouCantCenaMe Fri 18-Jan-19 13:48:43

Take the kids on the plane and leave him to fuck about for 14 hours playing Thomas the environmentally friendly wank engine.

Bluntness100 Fri 18-Jan-19 13:51:48

I'd fly with the kids and tell him i will meet him there.

maximumcarnage Fri 18-Jan-19 13:52:08

I suppose it depends on a number of factors really. First up there's the financial aspect, do you have the money to throw at a significantly more expensive trip if you avoid the flights and go by train? How important is that carbon footprint to you?

For me, if I had plenty of money I would probably make it a bit of a holiday going there. Use the train and make frequent stop overs in more interesting cities and locations. Do the whole tourist thing. If however money is tight then hop on the plane.

IdaDown Fri 18-Jan-19 13:52:43

You fly, DH takes the DC on the train.

room32 Fri 18-Jan-19 13:57:04

My DSis feels the same as your husband and I've done a fair bit of travelling with her, I used to be sceptical but I now much prefer long train and coach journeys to flying, you can turn it into an adventure more readily than flying imo, there's plenty to see and do with a bit of imagination, you might find the kids enjoy it more than you think.

Having said that I thought your original suggestion of flying one way and train the other was reasonable, especially if you are going for a shorter time.

Angrybird345 Fri 18-Jan-19 13:58:37

You fly, he goes by train with his luggage

SimplyPut Fri 18-Jan-19 13:58:46

My climate change offers ways of offsetting your carbon footprint. Could this be a more economical and time efficient compromise?

newrubylane Fri 18-Jan-19 13:59:43

Have you looked into ways of offsetting the carbon footprint of the flights?

newrubylane Fri 18-Jan-19 14:00:08

Great minds, @SimplyPut!

SimplyPut Fri 18-Jan-19 14:02:00

Ha @newrubylane

Miane Fri 18-Jan-19 14:03:26

Has he actually done a calculation to compare the carbon footprint of both journeys?

StowawayJo Fri 18-Jan-19 14:04:17

Is he ok?

Genuinely no one has asked yet but really this is all a bit insane. He needs to see the GP if this thought is ruling his life like this. If this was my husband this whole attitude of caring sooooo much about the world in the future that they want to live in a tree now would be too much for me and I'd leave. In his case it sounds like a form of OCD/anxiety. I'd dig further but I'd certainly be saying to him "you get the train we're flying - you can bring the luggage with you and I'll take the kids"

OutPinked Fri 18-Jan-19 14:04:54

I think he sounds a bit bonkers tbh. Your family not travelling by plane once a year really won’t affect the planet all that much. If he was so concerned about the planet, he shouldn’t have had children at all...

It sounds like a total nightmare going by train and something no one would willingly want to do especially with young children. You go by plane and let him do whatever he wants.

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