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To ask if you would work (hypothetical)

(190 Posts)
TheExtraGuineaPig Wed 16-Jan-19 17:22:07

There have been a few threads on here, plus the Bezos story that have got me wondering.

Would you work if you had a really well paid DP/DH/DW. Not as rich as Jeff Bezos (!) but in the 1%, £500k pa or similar. In my scenario you have kids at school - need care before and after plus holidays - and have had a career in the past but not one that really lends itself to part time work. Any PT work would be average pay.

I'm not sure what I would do.. would be worried about becoming unemployable in the case of disaster striking but also would find it very hard to get motivated to go out to work.

ScreamingValenta Wed 16-Jan-19 17:26:48

Yes. I wouldn't want to be reliant on someone else's wage; suppose he decided to leave me or became too ill to work or died? I might go part-time but I'd keep my hand in!

MatildaTheCat Wed 16-Jan-19 17:27:48

I know quite a few women in this postion and mostly they don’t do paid work. Their husbands tend to work long hours with unpredictable extra hours and travel which makes even wrap around care unworkable.

I fully appreciate that it can leave women very vulnerable but the families I know have found it works very well. They tend to also have paid help which means the wife isn’t left to do all the drudge work.

It’s not for everyone. I worked when financially we could have managed easily without but in my case it was because my DH was always worried about his own business going wrong and us having no income.

IsItCoffeeTimeYet Wed 16-Jan-19 17:27:55

No. I'd volunteer somewhere, with hours that fit around my children.

Actually, if I had that income, I'd be a foster carer.

Mummadeeze Wed 16-Jan-19 17:30:21

Just had a brilliant day at work, am on a real high, so am probably biased! But, even if I personally won the lottery jackpot I would not give up my job. I look forward to going to work and it boosts my self esteem, makes me use my brain, provides me with a social life etc. If I was married to a very rich man, hypothetically, I feel like I would still want to work and be successful in my own right because it is part of my identity. I definitely would not like to take on any kind of domestic role because that doesn’t interest me. Lots of people say they would work for a charity if they didn’t need to work and whilst that is admirable, if I am going to work, I would rather continue in the career I am passionate about. Also, my Dad left my Mum for 3 years when we were young and we were virtually penniless during that time as she couldn’t really work. I always vowed I wouldn’t depend on a man for money then and that has stuck with me.

TinTinBanana Wed 16-Jan-19 17:30:30

I would work a couple of days if it was possible or do some voluntary work. I would still want to be gaining work experience for my CV as I may want/need to work in the future. Also, it would stop me getting bored.

mindutopia Wed 16-Jan-19 17:30:52

Yes, I’d definitely work. At that salary we could afford a little extra after school care to make it not such a juggling act. But I’d hate sitting around at home being bored.

It’s nice to be able to do the school run every day (I’ve been on maternity leave so that’s what I have been doing the past year), but I’m much happier working and having a life beyond just that. But if one of us made that kind of money we’d be able to buy ourselves more flexibility, which would be nice too.

bridgetreilly Wed 16-Jan-19 17:33:32

I would think about doing some more study/training, or voluntary work. But also I would think about what person you want to be in 10-20 years time when your children don't need you so much. Then invest in that. Which could mean investing in friendships, hobbies or work.

Elfinablender Wed 16-Jan-19 17:34:09

God no.

Believability Wed 16-Jan-19 17:34:39

Yes I would. I love working and being a SAHM is not for me regardless of income

Elfinablender Wed 16-Jan-19 17:36:14

I wouldn't be a sahm either. I'd have an army of nannies and just do one degree after for the rest of my life.

museumum Wed 16-Jan-19 17:38:02

If my dh earned 500k we’d probably have the kids in a private school with amazing after school clubs and yes I’d work but for myself. I am already freelance but with that kind of safety net I’d set up more of a pipe dream business.

Elfinablender Wed 16-Jan-19 17:38:47

'after another'

And I'd have a proofreader on standby the check all my work

museumum Wed 16-Jan-19 17:38:49

Or I might do a phd.

Aroundtheworldandback Wed 16-Jan-19 17:40:31

I am married to someone wealthy. I do some voluntary work and would do paid work if I was lucky enough to be doing something I loved- but I’m not, so what’s the point? My kids are at uni and dh and I travel a lot which we couldn’t do if I worked.

I own equal shares in the company so am not vulnerable if ever there were to be a split.

If I found something I loved doing work wise my ideal I guess would be 2/3 days a week. But I’m not going to work for the sake of it; I have nothing to prove.

Endofrelationship Wed 16-Jan-19 17:41:56

Yes. I wouldn't ever want to be relient on another person and I really enjoy my job. I never want to be a SAHP.

Purpleartichoke Wed 16-Jan-19 17:43:23

I love my job, but I would much rather be a full-time artist. If my partner had enough money that my earnings didn’t make any kind of real contribution, I would absolutely retire.

Finfintytint Wed 16-Jan-19 17:44:57

I've been in position of DH earning a very good wage ( nowhere near the £500k) but for my own self esteem I've continued working as I love my job and I wanted to set a good example to my DS that women work.
I don't want to depend on anyone.

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt Wed 16-Jan-19 17:45:30

Sort of the point of being minted is that you accrue wealth and that should be sufficient if bad things happen.

Choice is great and once you're past the "screwed if he leaves me" stage, which if you're appreciated as an adult in the relationship (so equal access and mgt of the wealth), not a trophy, brood mare or replaceable, then all good.

Kemer2018 Wed 16-Jan-19 17:46:43

I'd like to say No....but I'm practical so I'd still work p.t.
I know that rich dudes like pretty young things, so I'd need insurance for getting old.

Ylvamoon Wed 16-Jan-19 17:52:22

Yes I would. I have been a SAHM when DC where little, partly because I was made redundant and finding pt was impossible, partly because I wanted to be there for them.
I liked some aspects of being at home and was incredibly busy with lots of social things. But once DC start school, it got very boring. There are only so many cups of tea/ coffee one can have with friends. I missed going to work. The interaction with my colleagues and the challenges of my job. I am currently working with volunteers. And yes, they can come and go almost as they please, but no way do they see or are involved in the whole process. I 'd miss that aspect of working... guessing I am a control freak!

stevie69 Wed 16-Jan-19 17:55:13

I'll always work. Don't know what else I'd do with my time if I'm being perfectly honest.

minipie Wed 16-Jan-19 17:58:39

I’m sort of in this position. In theory I’d love to work once DC2 starts school.

In practice, I doubt I will. The choice would be between
1) a demanding job of the sort I used to have, using childcare - but then I’d end up juggling demanding work plus all domestic stuff (nannies don’t do the wifework), plus the DC wouldn’t see a parent very much
or 2) a low level very part time job which gives me time to do the wifework and see the DC, but that isn’t very interesting and wouldn’t pay enough to cover childcare. Either option means all free time disappears.

Most likely scenario is I will look for volunteering opportunities and hope I can find something interesting and maybe even CV relevant. Then think again when DC are a few years older, stay up later etc.

Shitmewithyourrhythmstick Wed 16-Jan-19 18:00:36

I'd always want to have my own income but wouldn't work full time unless there was no choice. Fortunately I've always been able to do part time but if my work wasn't conducive to that, in your shoes I'd take the opportunity to retrain.

Lazypuppy Wed 16-Jan-19 18:00:43

I would always work,i don't ever want to be fully reliant financially on someone else.

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