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AIBU?

I'm sick in bed waiting for DH to come home, & I feel overcome with sadness. I guess I just need a friend.

33 replies

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 15/01/2019 23:36

Hi all.

Normally, I would post this in MH, but frankly, I don't know anyone there, and I wouldn't categorize myself as being OTT depressed just a little melancholic. I'm a little under the weather. I'm on some anti biotics for a nasty ear infection that I've been battling for the past week. I just feel blah and a little sad. The kind of sad you get where you wish your LC toxic narcissist of a mother was in fact a really nice lady that would bring me a nice cup of earl grey tea and tell me that everything was going to be better and that tomorrow will be a better day. opposed to the stark reality of my mother, who would bitch about how busy she is, can't it wait until Friday, I'm housecleaning and don't I have someone else to call? Then she would inevitably try to one up me on how horrible she's been feeling and how no one has come around to check to see how she's doing, so why should she? (even though I just spoke to her two days ago)
I guess I just need some comforting words and a hand hold. If you don't mind, of course.

OP posts:
JaiNotJay · 15/01/2019 23:41

Sore ear sufferer fistbump MissLanes! Get cosy in your bed and get your DH to bring you that cuppa when he gets in. Brew In the meantime, dream of summer days and sunshine and happy times. Flowers

Lallybroch · 15/01/2019 23:42

Ear infections are horrible and you are entitled to feel a bit sorry for yourself. I hope you start feeling a bit better soon.

Floralhousecoat · 15/01/2019 23:45

Ahhh op. I'm sorry you're feeling low. When does dh get back?

Could you revisit a happy memory and relive it as vividly as possible? It can bring comfort. I sometimes find listing out loud all the people who love me and how I know they love me really helpful. Could you try that?
Hugs xxx

MissConductUS · 15/01/2019 23:48

The only good news about the ear infection is that they tend to respond fairly rapidly to the antibiotics. Take some ibuprofen to ease the inflammation and pain. A glass of wine wouldn't hurt either.

Lots of narcissists are like that about illness. If you stub your toe, there's has just been broken, if you break your toe, their whole foot has just been run over by a lorry. Try to ignore or better yet don't ring her when you're feeling poorly.

Best wishes and hand holds from another American cousin. Smile

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 15/01/2019 23:48

Awww you poor thing! It's horrible feeling grotty and having nobody to bring you a cuppa (although Earl Grey is foul!) and sympathise.
Have you got a nice book to read? I tend to re-read my childhood favourites for comfort. Download your favourite, or try Gerald Durrell, Joan Jonker, Gervais Phinn or similar, snuggle up in bed, and the the will fly until your DH gets in to bring you a nice hot drink.

DrawingLife · 15/01/2019 23:54

Hope you feel better soon MissLanes!

Have a hug

Kintan · 15/01/2019 23:59

Aww sending you sympathy, I hope you get better soon. I know that feeling of just wanting your mum (or a nice mother substitute). My situation is different in that my mum was the kind of person that would bring me tea in bed and comforting words, but sadly she’s been gone a long time now, but I still want my mummy when I am ill! Sorry your mum is such a pain. Fingers crossed your husband gets home soon x

StrippingTheVelvet · 16/01/2019 00:17

That wanting your mum, but not your actual crappy mum is shite. It's not much comfort but imagine how much worse it would be if you weren't LC and had to listen to her going on every day.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/01/2019 00:20

Awww! Thanks so much you wonderful people!

To answer a few questions, DH got held up, but he is on his way now! Unfortunately, he can't stay long (only about an hour) because he's going to the gym with his best friend, So he won't be back till around 8:30pm. I would ask him to stay, but I'm not on deaths door and it's really important for him to get into shape 'cause I told him I'll kill him if he dies young like the other men in his family. I wasn't us to be older than first before we die, toothless with crazy hair and many cats and a garden. So, I'm just going to have to suck it up tonight. He really needs this, and I don't want to take it away from him just because I feel a little blue.

Thank you so much for the well wishes! You're right PomBearWithoutHerOFRS Earl Grey is gross, I should have said chamomile which I like better, but it was the first tea that came to mind! I do have an anthology of short stories that I bought at an estate sale that I've been itching' to read, so thanks for the tip!Grin

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the sweet baby kitten and mother! DrawingLife SO much love there!!!! I could watch that over and over again, thank you! Smile

MissConductUSA , You've got the right, sister!!!!! The's my Narc mom to a tee! I can tell you have one in your life too, we're like kindred spirits! Grin


Floralhousecoat, thank you. My visual memory is a little sporadic. However, I could try to get a hold of my sister. She should get home in an hour or so, or I could listen to my Dads last message to me before he died, but I think that will just make me sadder. Sad I do however, have some phone messages from DH that are both sweet a funny a lovey dovey! I can give them a listen when he leaves for the gym! Good thinking! Smile


Lallybroch & JaiNotJay thank you for the well wishes and kind thoughts! Flowers Smile

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SugarinaPlum · 16/01/2019 00:27

I’m ill and my sleep pattern is ruined...hope you feel better soon. Here is an amusing photo of a dog which I took recently...

I'm sick in bed waiting for DH to come home, & I feel overcome with sadness. I guess I just need a friend.
Winterberriesonatree · 16/01/2019 00:30

Hope you feel better soon 🌈 x

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/01/2019 02:04

SugarinaPlumc, very cute, thank you! {smile]


Thank you, Winterberriesonatree!

Got my sister's voicemail, but DH made me a nice cup of chamomile and lavender tea. We did some intense cuddles and he told me he loved me, then he was off to the gym. I'm eyes feel tired and itchy so I'm gonna watch Golden Girls instead of read. DH says he''ll be home in a couple of hours then take a quick shower, then he'll play some video
games for me. I feel achy and exhausted but my mind is wide awake. I hope the two hours he's gone flies by tonight. Sad

OP posts:
Stilllivinginazoo · 16/01/2019 02:42

I'm awake lovely
(Insomniac)
How are you feeling?Flowers

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/01/2019 02:46

Kintan, you mother sounded lovely, and I'm sorry for your loss. Flowers

StrippingTheVelvet, True! The fact that we're low contact is a lot to be thankful for! I just wish I could turn my brain of and get to sleep! Not to mention, my ear and the whole side of my face is throbbing like crazy and feels crap. Sad

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PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 16/01/2019 02:49

Sounds like you have a lovely DH Grin
I'm still awake here at silly o'clock, and am assuming you're I the USA?
Not so long now til he is home, hope the Golden Girls are keeping you amused, I love those shows but they aren't on here anymore!

Hidingtonothing · 16/01/2019 02:58

Oh that does sound crappy OP, earache is horrid Sad Melancholy must be in the air, that's exactly how I feel tonight. Sending you a hug and more Brew, hope the pain eases soon.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/01/2019 03:01

Stilllivinginazoo, thank you for the flowers, friend. What time is it in your neck of the woods? It's 7:55pm here. One more hour. I'm so sorry you have insomnia. Insomnia is the absolute worst! Some Flowers for you too!

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS Thank you! He really is! I'm very fortunate. Yes! I live in America, close to California. Where do you live? Yes, G& G is still making me laugh, even after 30 years! We have the DVD box set, but we just watch in on Hulu. You have Skybox right? Is that like Hulu or Netflix or Vudu?

OP posts:
SophiaLovesSummer · 16/01/2019 03:05

It's 03:05 am here! Sending hugs across the pond and Wine and Flowers and Cake - hope you're better soon!

Stilllivinginazoo · 16/01/2019 03:11

U.k it's just after 3am!!

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/01/2019 03:17

Hidingtonothing , I'm sorry to hear about that friend. Sending you a big hug back and a nice cup of tea Brew Besides, the ear infection, it's just been one of those days.....just can't seem to get outta this damn funk!


SophiaLovesSummer, awww! Thanks for all those wonderful goodies! My kingdom for some cheesecake Cake right now! Perfect for a night with the girls! And your name's Sophia! All we need is A Rose, a Dorothy and a Blanche! Grin

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kateandme · 16/01/2019 03:39

ear infections are horrible they weigh you down with such ugh feelings.
keep reminding yourself this will pass.and snuggle down.
also one thing I was told which might help was imagine the tiny part and percentage of you that is hurting.zero in on it.and then expand that awareness to the rest of your body.the larger bigger percentage of you that actually ok.be aware of ur legs.feet.little toe.nose.arms.and as silly as it sounds once you have expanded out it really help take that focus of pain off the ear area and hurt.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/01/2019 04:13

Thank you kateandme! The visualizing technique was harder than I thought, but I am going to practice it! So, thank you!

The really awesome news is that DH is here and brought me a Strawberry Shake from Mickey D's! Now we're going to cuddle and kiss and snuggle under our quilt boutis. Hopefully, we can fit in a video game as well before we go to bed. Smile


Lastly, thank you to everyone who dropped by with tea, and flowers and cake and hugs and well wishes! You've all have been wonderful!!!!

THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!!! Grin

OP posts:

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Stilllivinginazoo · 16/01/2019 04:28

Hope you get some sleep and feel better tomorrow!

Wotev · 16/01/2019 04:48


Some hugs for ya!
MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/01/2019 18:22

Stilllivinginazoo, I had the best sleep thank you! How about you? I hope you had some good sleep too! Insomnia is the pits! Thanks for staying up with me friend! Smile

Wotev, What a beautiful video! I can't wait to show it to DH when he comes home!!!! Such a sweet little boy! He just filled my heart with warmth and I found my self beaming from ear to ear! Thank you! Hugs back! Grin

OP posts:
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