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To think waking up early will solve 99% of my problems!

(133 Posts)
Gamechanger12e3 Tue 15-Jan-19 20:24:49

Someone please help me!
I am single handedly causing my own issues by sleeping in late EVERY MORNING!!

Due to me waking up late.. I'm late for work everyday meaning i always have to work late to make up my hours. This has a knock on affect to my evenings where banks/places are closed by the time i finish work so i have to wait for weekends to run errands. My work is very flexible so they don't care too much.

I always looks like SHIT at work because i literally roll out of bed, into clothes and out the door! Which affects my self esteem!!

I can't arrange morning meetings/appointments because i know I wont wake up on time.

My weekends i wake up super late so waste half the day in bed. Ffs!! I only have a few hours during the day to carry out all my errands!!

I've always been this way. Since a child. I used to be late for school everyday and constantly reprimanded.

I don't know why!! I've been tested by the GP and everything has come back fine. Ive tried going to bed super early/late/reasonable hour. Nothing works!! I've tried setting several alarms on both my phone and manual alarm.. I sleep through them all!!

I think its learnt behaviour. My mother is exactly the same and was always late. She was self employed so never really had consequences for this. She sleeps until noon most days!! Our household was a 'night owl' household. We'd all be awake until early hours despite given bedtimes and then late every morning.

I don't know what to do!! Its ruining my life!! How do i change?? Has anyone else ever suffered the same?!!

If i could just wake up at a reasonable hour 99% of my issues could be resolved!!

How do i discipline myself?!

Has anyone else ever suffered this? Its not normal!! I piss myself off!! I cant rely on myself to do anything morning related which cuts out half my days!!

Someone please advise or give me a kick up the @**!!

Ethel36 Tue 15-Jan-19 20:30:43

Try going to bed every night around 9pm and listen to a meditation clip. Try and get into this habit of going to bed early. My sister always goes to bed late (12/1am) and struggles big time to get up in the morning. I head to bed at 9ish to read or relax, and usually fall asleep around 10pm.

Houseonahill Tue 15-Jan-19 20:32:25

That alarm clock is 113 decibels and has a separate vibrating thing you can put under your pillow if you want. Put it on the opposite side of the room so you physically have to get up to turn it off and then don't get back into bed no matter how warm and comfy it looks

donajimena Tue 15-Jan-19 20:35:34

I used to be a tour rep. I'd see the last guests off the coach from the airport at ar

isthistoonosy Tue 15-Jan-19 20:38:53

I use to be like you but then I got a job that I need to be at work 6am most days and also started living with my OH who gets up at 5am everyday. It took a while to get use to it but I'm getting there, and its only been 10 yrs!

I think your problem is just lack of motivation / reason to get up - so you have no reason to go to bed.

What do you do in the evenings?, what is keeping you awake?

donajimena Tue 15-Jan-19 20:39:15

Bloody phone! Around 2am, then go for a pint blush I had to be out of the house for 8am looking polished. After a few near misses I discovered the best way to get up was to lock my alarm clock (no mobiles back then) in a cash tin and put the key downstairs. I had no choice but to get up and I knew going back to bed wasn't an option.

cardibach Tue 15-Jan-19 20:45:06

Sleep through alarms? You literally leave an alarm going for the hours it will ring for and sleep through? Or wake up and switch them off before going back to sleep?

DropZoneOne Tue 15-Jan-19 20:47:41

What if you scheduled 9am meetings so you have to get up on time?

I have a flexible workplace too, I'm rarely there before 9.15. But my work involves meetings in London and overseas travel - i can manage those just fine. So it's being able to get up when i have a deadline (train / plane).

CinnamonToaster Tue 15-Jan-19 20:50:42

I'm the same. In my case it's because I am crap at going to bed. If I could be more disciplined about going to bed, my life would be much improved. But then if I could be more disciplined about not eating biscuits, I'd be thinner.

Imalittleelf Tue 15-Jan-19 20:55:12

Have you tried and alarm clock that lights up? I could sleep through anything (gale force storm in a tent /earthquake etc) but I found the alarm clock light ould wake me gradually before the actual alarm went off and it's quite bright. Especially good for winter.

ShinyButtons Tue 15-Jan-19 21:00:07

I also have this problem. I set 6 alarms every morning starting at 6 then at intervals until 7.30 I generally sleep right through at least 3 of them and somehow manage to turn off the others without waking up. When I finally do wake up I have no recollection of the alarms going off or of turning them off.

I tried one of those super loud alarms but unfortunately I live in a flat and all that happened was I woke my neighbour up. I eventually woke up to them hammering on my door because they thought I must have had an accident or died. Thankfully they are lovely people.

Last week I did discover my fitbit had a vibrating alarm and amazingly it has so far woken me up every morning. No idea how I can sleep though so many loud alarms yet a silent little vibrating alarm on my wrist works.

Cranky17 Tue 15-Jan-19 21:04:52

Op I was going to write something very similar, I put an alarm downstairs but I don’t the will power to not go down, turn it off and then get back in bed.
I love my bed, I hate getting up and cause lots of dramas because of this.

jellyshoeswithdiamonds Tue 15-Jan-19 21:06:46

I've set my Fitbit to remind me to go to bed at a reasonable time.

Also set it to wake me up, even if its on my bedside table the vibrating wakes me.

FusionChefGeoff Tue 15-Jan-19 21:08:41

Do you drink tea or coffee?

I have a teasmaid and it's soooooo much nicer waking up in the morning as there's the added motivation of a cup of tea right next to my bed!

Or, put it on the other side of the room - it has a VERY annoying and persistent beep so by the time you're up to turn it off you might as well just have the cuppa!

rytonsister Tue 15-Jan-19 21:08:55

It is habit...

I work shifts and I revert to night owl but I get away with it as out of a 6 day week only to see early turns where I am up at 5.30.

I also recently found I severely have no medical issues?

FusionChefGeoff Tue 15-Jan-19 21:09:33

Oh and do regular cardio exercise - makes you more tired ergo earlier to bed, better sleep, hopefully easier to wake earlier.

TheSconeOfStone Tue 15-Jan-19 21:10:30

I used to be like this. Children waking at 5.00 got me out of it. I still really struggle but having to be up to get them up (they take after their parents and no longer wake at 5.00) has forced me to change my ways.

I set the alarm 30 mins earlier than I need so I can slowly come round. I feel just as bad whether it's 6.00 am or 11.00 so I might as well get up.

Squirrel26 Tue 15-Jan-19 21:11:33

I got a dog. He wakes me up, and if I ignore him, he goes downstairs and pees on the sofa. Sometimes I just let him, and deal with the consequences later.

Jackshouse Tue 15-Jan-19 21:12:10

What stuff do you need to go to the back for? Can’t you do it on line?

Honesttodog Tue 15-Jan-19 21:14:34

Maybe do some training on yourself? Read a little bit about learning new habits.

Only way I changed morning habits was realising how upset kids get when you are late. It makes them stressed, literally tense, or mine do at least, so I could not upset them like that. I also did some calculations on missed minutes of school and that also added up. I watched a parent turning up late every day with their kids and I decided I really didn’t want my kids to feel like that. Think about how you want to be perceived and how you can mindful become that person. Repeat the success as often possible so it becomes a habit. For me it’s counting down from 5 then getting into the shower so my day starts. I really hate Mornings and always will but I have managed to fight off a bit of my laziness this way.

museumum Tue 15-Jan-19 21:15:20

Get a daylight/sunrise alarm clock. It’s changed my life. It gets light for 30mins before wake up time and I still need the buzzer at that point but I am in a much lighter sleep and can get up without snoozing.

Before getting the sunrise click I could sleep through any alarm / put it off in my sleep.

greenlynx Tue 15-Jan-19 21:19:08

I’m also a night owl and struggle with early rising. I put my mobile on a hard surface at the furthest corner of the bedroom so the alarm makes very loud unpleasant sound. At my youth days I used to ask someone to phone on my landline. It worked every time for me. As a long term solution cutting caffeine and slowly moving bedtime might help.

Auramigraine Tue 15-Jan-19 21:19:52

I was like this before kids...... I would get up early for work etc but on a weekend when I didn’t HAVE to get up, I would set alarm and say right I’m getting up early to get dressed and do XYZ then have all the day to enjoy looking round shops etc, never happened. My alarm would go off I would think 5 more mins then before I knew it half the day was wasted. Now I have to get up as my kids are awake/school run so there’s a reason to. No advice other than maybe arrange to meet someone in the AM or find a reason to have to be up early...

MitziK Tue 15-Jan-19 21:23:23

It's taking a very long time, but I'm getting the feeling we might be getting somewhere with exactly this problem (other than it being a huge problem if I'm late for work - I dream of a job where they don't care!).

Sleep Hygiene (Crap Name, but at least it's not 'Nighttime Routine', to which, my head automatically replies 'I'm not fucking two years old').

Nothing else in the bedroom than comfortable bedding and furniture. It's for sleep and shagging, not watching TV staring glazed-eyed at QVC at stupid o'clock and feeling yourself gradually thinking 'That sounds pretty good, really..

A dark room. Blackout curtains for those who can afford them, long black IKEA ones for mere mortals with two huge windows.

A blue light filter app on your phone and laptop kicking in by 7pm.

A cool room.

No coffee. Sorry. NO COFFEE. At all. NONE. Tea is just about OK if you stop by about 5pm. I can't believe I've stopped drinking it, seeing as I've been a fan since I was about 4 years old on the Mellow Birds and something as blackened and bitter as my cold, dark soul since I was about 13. Obviously, this also means no Red Bull or Coke. I am so sorry and feel your pain on this.

Loads of water to drink during the day. Because you're on a maximum of about 3 cups of tea all day and you're going to have to make them last.

Eat by 7pm.

By 9pm, most of the lights in the house need to be out, especially the ones upstairs. They shouldn't be switched on at all, or you'll ping wide awake again. Lamps or fairy lights are the maximum light source.

Have a warm bath around 10pm with nothing brighter than candlelight. (I can really recommend a bath in darkness, though). Get dry, dressed for bed and without switching the lights on, go and get into bed. If you have an LED light that can be almost off, but purely red toned, that won't disturb you, but any bulb on the lowest dimmer setting will wake you up again.

Stay off your phone. It's OK to have a non light up mp3 player and squishy soft earphones to listen to something that doesn't require attention. For a weird reason, stuff about Medieval/Renaissance music does it for me, as does a Gaelic chat radio station and Gardener's Question Time on a loop. If you sleep on your side, just use one earphone.

Have as many pillows as you need, including any for sticking between your knees, resting arms on, etc.

The next bit actually costs money - a sunrise alarm. It doesn't always work immediately, but it certainly helped almost immediately as when my normal alarm goes off, because the light has gradually brightened over 45 minutes, I don't feel like dying with the first beeps or switch it off without realising.

And the last thing of all is a bonus - an OH who will get up and open the curtains. Stagger up, pull your quilt over so your bed is made when you come back to it, off into a warm shower and you'll feel much better than falling out of the house in a panic.

Mornings are gradually becoming tolerable and far less rushed.

I stick the alarm on an hour later at the weekend, but you can't stay asleep all Saturday to try and make up for it, as that throws you out for the rest of the week.

Hope that helps. I hate the idea of having to do all this, but it seems to work for me when I thought nothing ever would - I'm still working on very little sleep and sometimes none at all, but I'm able to get up, which is the most important bit.

Love51 Tue 15-Jan-19 21:28:26

My solution was to marry an early riser. A bit extreme, perhaps borrow a toddler or a dog just long enough to reset your body clock?
Also, keep the same hours whether it is weekday or weekend. Your body will learn, you just have to teach it the right things.

FFSFFSFFS Tue 15-Jan-19 21:28:38

I know you've said the GPs tested you but have you done more research on it? I ask just because somewhere in my memory I have am murky recollection of reading an article about someone who'd discovered they had a genuine condition where something to do with their internal clock was wrong and she genuinely couldn't reset her body clock to wake up early. It had run in her family. I reckon it might have been in a book I read about sleep??

So - maybe do some reading to see if there is a real condition and if you might fit that.

If your sleep is bad you can get refereed to sleep clinics.

EustaciaPieface Tue 15-Jan-19 21:29:22

Another night owl here. Great post @MitziK - I do a few of these things but will look at some of your other suggestions.

FFSFFSFFS Tue 15-Jan-19 21:29:51

Here we go

Cherrysherbet Tue 15-Jan-19 21:30:10

You’re not suffering, you’re being lazy! Most people HAVE to get up, otherwise they would be sacked\ kids wouldn’t get to school etc...

Just get up when your alarm goes off. Simple.

Longdistance Tue 15-Jan-19 21:33:43

How do you set your alarm, does it only go off the once?
I set my phone to 7.45, 8, then 8.10. I’m usually up by 8, and then 8.10 goes off when I’m getting ready.

CaledonianSleeper Tue 15-Jan-19 21:39:33

I genuinely don’t understand the people saying they can’t get up earlier - if you were to go on holiday to the USA would you stay on UK time your whole holiday? Or would you be able to adjust when you got there (go to bed later), and again when you flew home (go to bed earlier)..? I know someone like this, swears she can’t get up earlier, keeps everyone waiting, it drives me mad. So I’d really like to understand it better.

Thishatisnotmine Tue 15-Jan-19 21:39:48

Sunrise alarms are good, as PPs have said.

What worked for me: children. Drastic but they totally reset my body clock. Sometimes now I set my alarm to get up about 5:30, 6ish so I can enjoy a cup of coffee and something on netflix before they wake up!

Obviously that is not a practical solution but giving yourself something positive to get up for and then really seeing the benefits will help. Buy yourself a couple of pieces of new makeup as an incentive to make time to put them on maybe?

frenchchick9 Tue 15-Jan-19 21:39:56

I literally don’t understand this. I have to get up at 6.30 for the dc and to take dd to the school bus at 7. I have to. If I turned over and went back to sleep, she wouldn’t get to school.

I don’t understand how people can ignore alarms. Unless there’s something physical wrong with them.

So, if you think there might be, do some research. Go and see your gp.

searose Tue 15-Jan-19 21:40:15

Try a daylight lamp on a time switch with your alarm.

ChopOrNot Tue 15-Jan-19 21:46:40

I can solve this for you. Honestly. I can. It is just about changing your mindset. I was alway awful at getting up. Last minute every single time. And then I chatted to an "Early Riser" friend of ours. And what he revealed to me "blew my mind" as my 12yo would say.

"Whatever time you get up, the first 3-4 minutes are shit. Early riser or not. Delaying it, with the snooze button, 6 alarms, last minute alarms, across the room alarms, fairies singing or birds tweeting - whatever - makes no fucking difference. The first 3 minutes are shit. But just get over it. Sit on the loo, Have a wee/poo. Feel shite. Then do you know what. You feel OK. Get on with it."

I considered this. Experienced exactly what he said the next day.

He is right.

It is only the first 3-4 minutes that are a bit shit. And this happens whether is is 7am or 11am. Or 2pm. If you are early. Late. On time. No difference.

Just get up.
Get the 3-4 minutes over with.

That is it.

EggysMom Tue 15-Jan-19 21:49:13

Set all the clocks in your house one hour early. At least when you leave 'late' for work, you'll have the nice surprise of not actually being late.

Chewbecca Tue 15-Jan-19 21:49:40

The lighting up alarm clock helped me to stop dozing off immediately after switching my alarm off.

jessstan2 Tue 15-Jan-19 21:50:05

I was always like that until I was about 46, then I started waking about 5am or even earlier. I hated it because I didn't get a lie in at weekends, I was far too awake too early!

Get a job with a later start and don't worry about it. Sleep is marvellous and staying in bed late at weekends is a treat to be enjoyed, not just for teenagers.

jessstan2 Tue 15-Jan-19 21:54:39

Since giving up work I've gone back to sleeping late and it's divine!

PS: My child also didn't like getting up early, even as a baby, and was frequently late for school. He developed a system for sneaking in and avoiding registration. He's a dedicated professional now so it did him no harm but he frequently works at home and stays up late, working, sleeps the next day.

Must be in our genes.

Husband gets up quite early, makes sure he doesn't wake me.

Ylvamoon Tue 15-Jan-19 21:55:33

I've "trained" myself to get up early by setting my alarm clock at normal time for a couple of days .... than 5 min earlier .... than taking away an other 5 min... and so on. It took some time but I wake up at the "right time". Maybe worth a try....

ScarletPower Tue 15-Jan-19 21:57:02

I take it you are younger than 40 :-)

Soon your bladder will refuse to let you have a lie in !

speakout Tue 15-Jan-19 21:57:02

You have a bad habit,

Presumable you sleep an average length of time.

Force yourself to get up very early for a few mornings- by 9om you will be ready for sleep.
Tonight is a late night for me ( been pickin up my DS from work).
I am normally in bed by 9pm and asleep by 10 o clock.

I wake every morning at 6am.
Some mornings I am at a yoga class at 7am.
On Sundays I do my supermarket shopping, back home by 8am, all housework and food prep done by 9.30 am.
Leaves the rest of the glorious day to relax or have fun.

I see sleeping late as wasting the day.

Ncobvs Tue 15-Jan-19 21:57:46

How late do you sleep in for work? How late does this make you? Just wondering how massive an issue this is? Like 20 min or 4hrs? Could you try telling yourself you are allowed to go back to sleep on a weekend if you get up in the week. Tbh I don't think anyone likes getting up but most of us don't have flexibility so have too! Could you try booking things in on a morning at work? As a trail with a work friend maybe?

WallisFrizz Tue 15-Jan-19 21:57:54

It’s a choice though isn’t it? You’re not unable to wake up early, you’re choosing not to. If you had a flight to catch to go on your dream holiday of the offer of a thousand pounds, you’d get up when the alarm sounded.

I think you’re telling yourself you can’t get up/wake up to the alarm, it’s just the way you are, not your fault etc but it’s an excuse because in reality there seem to be little in the way of consequences.

If you’re really bothered, just get up!

PleaseLetMummySleep Tue 15-Jan-19 21:58:28

Have a baby, that'll soon sort you out 

Notsoaccidentproneanymore Tue 15-Jan-19 21:59:14

I used to be similar. The thing which changed me was having to deliver training to some staff every day for a week at 8am - small groups, just for 1 1/2. - 2 hrs. It was a killer for the first few days, but I’ve tried really hard to make it a habit. I now get in around 8.30 every morning instead of 9.45.

It’s easier said than done though. Make an early morning appointment. Work out how long it takes to get to work, how long to get ready - I get up at 7.15, but my alarm goes off at 6.58, 7.04 and 7.08. I then lay there until 7.15 before dragging myself out of bed. Some days are more difficult than others though to get up.

It’s about setting a new routine and sticking to it.

Tbh you sound very much like ds1. He’s fucked up so many opportunities because of it.

Thequaffle Tue 15-Jan-19 22:01:43

Get a lumie wake up clock. I was the same until I got my lumie. A year later I was riding at 05.30 for morning workouts at the gym.

winterisstillcoming Tue 15-Jan-19 22:03:19

I'm working on this. I am thinking of doing it kindly to myself - mainly because I'm a grump in the mornings - by getting a coffee machine. The smell of the fresh coffee would get me out of bed. Also toying of putting jus roll croissants in the oven and putting a timer on. The thought of a firefight get me out of bed more than the pastry. Either that or put one less than members of the family so the last person up doesn't get one.

ProlificLurker Tue 15-Jan-19 22:06:57

We’ve bought Phillips Hue bulbs. You can set a wake up alarm so that the bulbs come on gradually from about ten minutes before the alarm time. By the time your alarm goes off you are already awake. (In theory... doesn’t always work - definitely worth a try though)

But I do agree with ChopOrNot.

BrusselPout Tue 15-Jan-19 22:09:03

A lumi alarm clock - go to bed early and use 'sunset' mode as it will help you get to sleep, then use the sunrise (and alarm) to wake you up

No electronics in the bedroom - helps quality of sleep

MotherOfDragonite Tue 15-Jan-19 22:15:56

Have children.

They'll come in, probably really early in the morning, and jump on you.

You'll definitely wake up.

You'll have 99 more problems, but they'll be different ones... grin

pisspawpatrol Tue 15-Jan-19 22:17:43

Does having a shower in the mornings help at all? I know that always makes me feel more human. If it does help, set an alarm clock in the bathroom and turn on the shower as soon as you go into turn the shower off. That way you can just get straight in as you're already in the bathroom for the alarm clock.

My second tip is to get a timer on your bedside light and set it to come on half an hour before your alarm goes off. It's my cheap/cheat version of a sunrise alarm.

I also only use the blackout blinds in the summer when I want to sleep past 4am because our bedroom faces east. There's just no need for it in winter so I close the thin curtains. Daylight creeping into your room does the job of shifting your sleep pattern towards waking. I still have my bedside light come on too.

BayLeaves Tue 15-Jan-19 22:17:56

I assume you don’t have kids OP? I was always exactly the same, even 9am lectures seemed “crazy early” to me at uni and with quite a free timetable I used to sleep til at least midday every day. Looking back it was such a massive waste of my life but I know that if I didn’t have any commitments or responsibilities I’d very quickly fall back into that pattern.

I completely agree with what @ChopOrNot explained. The strange thing is that although I hate getting out of bed with a passion, once I’m up and about I’d say I’m actually kind of a morning person! I never would’ve believed this until a few years ago I tested out a mood tracking app which asked you a few quick multiple choice questions to log your mood throughout the day. After weeks of tracking I discovered I was consistently happier and less irritable in the mornings compared with afternoon/evening time. It’s the total opposite of what I’d have guessed.

Also, I know some people above say avoid coffee but I only started drinking coffee after having my first baby and I’ve found it has a really positive affect on my mornings. I taught myself to steam milk properly and make good lattes with my espresso machine and that’s now my morning ritual. Along with a delicious slice of Nutella on toast my luxurious coffee gives me something to look forward to every morning.

pisspawpatrol Tue 15-Jan-19 22:18:31

That first paragraph should read turn the shower on as you go in to turn the ALARM off.

ReanimatedSGB Tue 15-Jan-19 22:21:23

FFS. Pick life choices which mean you don't have to get up early in the morning. There is no moral superiority in waking up early. Some people are simply better suited to a day which starts and finishes later.

Grace212 Tue 15-Jan-19 22:21:35

how early do you want to get up?

left to myself I am a night owl, would rather not be up before 10. But when I've had jobs where I've had to be up by 7, I've been up.

I've got the "looking smart in a short time" down to a fine art though!

I have had times where I've got home from work and had a nap, then got on with my evening till 2am. So I do get it, if you are a late person, you are, but resetting a body clock doesn't seem to be a thing, not for me anyway. I once did extreme reset - read it in a book - had about 2 hours kip for a few nights, but it's quite hard to schedule that in as I was utterly useless on the days after.

LisaSimpsonsbff Tue 15-Jan-19 22:22:07

I am normally in bed by 9pm and asleep by 10 o clock.

I wake every morning at 6am.
Some mornings I am at a yoga class at 7am.
On Sundays I do my supermarket shopping, back home by 8am, all housework and food prep done by 9.30 am.
Leaves the rest of the glorious day to relax or have fun.

I see sleeping late as wasting the day.

I never get this logic. Left to our own devices you get up about two hours earlier than me and go to bed about two hours earlier than me (though I now have a baby, so am very much not left to my own devices with sleep!). We therefore have the same amount of waking time. Why am I wasting the morning but you're not wasting the evening?

Grace212 Tue 15-Jan-19 22:22:25

agree there is no virtue in getting up early - if I can take work that avoids it, then I do.

codswallopandbalderdash Tue 15-Jan-19 22:33:10

interesting there always moral high ground about how you should be able to just do it (but never a comment about earlier risers should be able to stay up beyond 9pm)

For me, i can just about get up if I have to but left to my own devices I am slow and unfocused in the morning. Takes me about 2 hours from alarm going off to getting out the door.

What does help is no computer after about 9pm and no coffee apart from 1-2 mugs with breakfast

Loulzze Tue 15-Jan-19 22:34:48

Yeah I'm fucking shite too, got better a while ago now I'm back to the usual..

Literally just going to bed early helped, no phones few hours before, eat reasonably close so not hungry. Oh and weirdly setting my alarm for whenever then when it went off chugging a glass of water I left out helped loads

JudasPrudy Tue 15-Jan-19 22:36:00

You just need to have a shower and have everything organised night before so when you do wake up you're basically throwing on clothes and leaving.

ReanimatedSGB Tue 15-Jan-19 22:41:19

It's one of the core tenets of mundane stupidity to believe that getting up early is somehow 'better'. There's no logic to it whatsoever. The world would simply collapse if everyone got up at 5am and had to be tucked up in bed by 9pm - think of all the professions where night and evening working is a necessity. And all the knock on industries where people need to be at work at night to cater to those who need to be at work t night...

OP you have a job where they DON'T REQUIRE you to be at work at stupid o'clock. Make the most of it rather than making yourself miserable.

JemSynergy Tue 15-Jan-19 22:41:25

I wish I had some answers because I don't got to bed until about 1am! I got into this habit when my first born was a baby and his last feed was about 1am, rather than go to bed and then wake up which I hate the feeling of I used to just stay up. 11 years on and I still go to bed at 1am I will drink coffee at 10pm and watch a box set!! I get up at 7am, I am a light sleeper so once my alarm goes off I am up. I just jump straight out of bed, I don't roll back over and never hit the snooze. I am never late for anything but I do feel slightly drained throughout the day.

OrigamiZoo Tue 15-Jan-19 22:45:00

OP, I could have written your post pre-children. I love my sleep and the only reason I manage to get up in time now is getting my Dc to school. The shame of having them late due to my inability is my motivation.

When I had to get up in the morning for work, (I'm self employed now) I used to have one of those bell alarm clocks that sound like a fire alarm and put it across the room. I also went through a phase of setting alarm calls.

Weekends I'm as bad now, my kids can get themselves up.
The bizarre thing is I hate going to bed, so put it off and read in bed etc. But I can't get up. However, once up, I never go back to bed unless truly ill.

danceyourselfsilly Tue 15-Jan-19 22:46:59

I used to be like that but having had a dog for 11 years which needs walking last thing at night and first thing in the morning I am now trained not to lie in. Although dog very sadly not with us anymore and I can feel myself getting back to my lazier lie ins at the weekend already. As a teenager I was told if you knocked on your forehead the number of times you wish to wake up (ie 7 times for 7am - not sure what you do for 7.30am lol!) then you would wake up at that time.

Kariana Tue 15-Jan-19 22:51:18

@ChopOrNot even though I think I subconsciously knew this I had never articulated it to myself in quite that way. You have just blown my mind!

U2HasTheEdge Tue 15-Jan-19 22:55:45

I hate going to bed early. I love my evenings, It's when I get to spend time with DH and relax. When I do an early shift and have to go bed early I really hate it and feel like I have wasted the evening.

I do not find getting up later in the day shit for the first three minutes at all. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get, waking up before 9.00am is shit and makes me feel tired for the rest of the day. My perfect time to get up is around 10.00am.

My lumie alarm clock helps me wake up as I am not in a deep sleep when my alarm sound goes. I think I will always struggle getting up but thankfully I can get up, I just feel shit for it.

I hope some of these suggestions work for you OP.

SheWoreBlueVelvet Tue 15-Jan-19 22:55:47

You are missing out in so much Day though. The best bits are all over at 10am. The quiet bit as people aren’t around are amazing.
You can get so much done in the first few hours that’s there’s no hope of doing when everyone else is scrabbling around. Everything from traffic to quiet phones means you get a jump on the day and can chill a bit in the afternoons when people ge really can’t be arsed with anything or evenings when no one cares.

MillionScarletRoses Tue 15-Jan-19 22:56:25

I sympathise. I also sleep through alarms. I don’t know what happened, but in the last couple of years waking up got easier all on its own (I am 38). It’s one of the perks of ageing smile up at 7am and alert as a lark.

Before I didn’t start to function properly until after 10am. Even if woken up at 7am.

It has now been scientifically proven that circadian rhythms are largely hereditary and nothing to do with laziness. Google Russell Foster at Cambridge.

Unfortunately, you can only slightly modify what you have got, so you can’t make yourself into lark, no matter how hard you try, same as larks will never do night shifts easily regardless of how much practice they’ve had.

AnotherPidgey Tue 15-Jan-19 23:03:41

Lumie clocks are great. I first got one when I changed job to a longer commute and earlier start one January, and getting up in the pitch black was horrid before that.

We now have a second one for night owl, deep sleeping DCs and it helps them too. DS apparently sleeps through the vibrate alarm on his fitbit.

Good bedtime habits. Soft light, gentle relaxing such as reading. Keep sources of light in the room minimal.

Onecabbage Tue 15-Jan-19 23:04:35

Go to bed earlier. Do you sleep ok?

Make sure your bedroom is not too hot, crack a window open for a supply of fresh air, no coffee, no booze from early evening, no iPad, mobile phone or kindle from an hour before bed, no phone or iPad close to the bed and go to bed between 9-10pm. Try some relaxing reading, set your alarm and see you in the morning. If you like to ‘come to’ before you have to start, set your alarm for thirty minutes early.

Try to maintain this at weekends too, yes I know weekends are great for catching up on sleep, but your body will operate better if you keep a regular routine.

Have your clothes for the next day laid out, a relaxing bath before bed, pillow mist, do whatever helps you get a good nights sleep.

I worked one summer doing a 5am start, it literally took me two or three years to learn to sleep beyond 6am you can do this.

DarkArts Tue 15-Jan-19 23:06:05

Get a night shift job. Perhaps your body clock is suited to later in the day or the night.
If you're determined then get some melatonin and see if you can alter your body clock.

MaybeMaybeNotJ Tue 15-Jan-19 23:08:34

I set it as a new year’s resolution to be on time. Now it’s a matter of principle with myself 😂

Shame my toddlers don’t always cooperate though!

U2HasTheEdge Tue 15-Jan-19 23:13:07

You are missing out in so much Day though. The best bits are all over at 10am. The quiet bit as people aren’t around are amazing.

No, I am not missing out on so much day, because I prefer evenings. I would rather miss out on day than evening.

You can get so much done in the first few hours that’s there’s no hope of doing when everyone else is scrabbling around. Everything from traffic to quiet phones means you get a jump on the day and can chill a bit in the afternoons

I can't think of one thing I can't do after 10.00am. What exactly do I have no hope of doing when everyone else is scrabbling around? I often have time to chill a bit in the afternoons too. I rarely need to phone anyone and hardly need to use the car, so quieter phone lines and traffic holds no appeal to me.

You might think getting up earlier is amazing and it makes you more productive but it doesn't for me and many others.

TheBitchOfTheVicar Tue 15-Jan-19 23:14:38

I agree about early mornings being quiet and empty...but if everyone capitalised on this, I'd have to get up even earlier to escape the crowds!

yellowumbrellas Tue 15-Jan-19 23:16:27

I think we should establish a movement to change society so that work and school all start much later in the day.

Getting up early (especially in winter when it's dark and cold) is just a silly idea.

ReanimatedSGB Tue 15-Jan-19 23:17:48

People who are obsessed with getting up early are wasting the nights, though. If you are a night person, you can enjoy productive peace and quiet after midnight, when all the bores are asleep; lots of places are now open 24/7 so you can do your shopping or deal with your emails or whatever at any time that suits you. Sunrises are equally magical when you see them just before you go to bed.

JuniperBeer Tue 15-Jan-19 23:29:23

Are you struggling to get out of bed because you’re groggy?
Use the sleep cycle app. It’s a flexible alarm. You tell it the latest time you want to be awake by, and it will away you anytime in the thirty min period prior to that time when it detects you are in a lighter part of a sleep cycle. Meaning that an alarm doesn’t go off when you’re in deep sleep and it’s horrid to get out of bed! Changed my life.

Get your clothes ready the night before. Laid out. Knickers. Socks. Everything. Get your clothes ready on a Sunday evening for the week. Have everything washed and ironed ready to go.

Lay absolutely everything out. Hairbrush. Make up. Cereal bowl/ plate whatever.

Write a list of what you want to do in your routine in the morning. Follow it. Add to it if you need to adapt it.

What is your hair like? Wash it in the evening. Dry. Pop up in a bun or pony tail/ plait in the morning quickly.

10 pm be in bed. Phone on charge. Don’t sit flicking though mumsnet/ YouTube/ social media. Be asleep by 10.30. If you have probs getting to sleep try the ‘deep sleep’ app with Andrew Johnson who has a very soothing voice. Teaches you how to relax and lead your mind. Sounds a bit wooo but it’s amazing. I never hear the end as I nod off. You can start the sleep cycle app then start the deep sleep app.

I could have written your OP a year ago. It did nearly ruin my life. You may think work don’t notice. But people do. They judge. You look disorganised. It looks like to them you can’t even do the basics.

For the first three days, FORCE yourself to get out of bed. Tell yourself you’re going to put the kettle on. By the time you w out the kettle on you will be wide awake.

It’s just about starting new habits. It’ll change your life in other ways though, you’ll become more confident in you’re appearance, you will be more organised. You’ll feel less stressed. Think about the benefits to come!

JuniperBeer Tue 15-Jan-19 23:30:15

@ReanimatedSGB that sounds good n’ all, but it doesn’t really work if you’ve got a 9-5 job!

JuniperBeer Tue 15-Jan-19 23:33:54

You could also look into vibrating alarms. Or really traditional ones that sound like fire bells.

FinalNameChange Tue 15-Jan-19 23:43:52

I really feel for you OP, I am very similar. My OH wakes me most days nowadays, thankfully.

This app is interesting. I haven't tried it. Connects you with a random stranger (annonymously!) via mobile phone:

BlackPrism Wed 16-Jan-19 02:21:46

Create a sleeping habit.
I'm ok because I don't have to get up until 8.45am for work but DP struggles.

We go to bed at 10.30, read for half an hour/ an hour with a chamomile tea then put on white noise, fan and eye masks (sometimes a lavender Balm.

I set 4 v loud alarms.

You can also get wrist alarms which buss on you when home may work.

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty Wed 16-Jan-19 02:26:15

My youngest is an early riser. She doesn't get it from me. I should lend her out. She could wake the dead.

A lot of my sleep issues are because I have ADHD. Melatonin is lacking in people with ADHD; it can be prescribed. It helped me loads.

Motoko Wed 16-Jan-19 03:41:43

I was always a night owl, but having children meant I had to get up early, so I did both. Went to bed around 1-2am, and be up at 6.30.

The quiet time at night, is different to the quiet time in the morning, and I love both.

Now the kids have flown the nest, and due to illness, I don't work, I go to bed any time between 1-4am, and get up around 8.30-9.30. I hate staying in bed later, it feels like I've wasted a lot of the day.

Stormyumbrella Wed 16-Jan-19 11:10:46

@Bayleaves what app was that? It sounds interesting.

Biancadelriosback Wed 16-Jan-19 11:15:07

What about one of those alarm clocks on wheels? When they go off the fly off your bedside table and scoot around the room so you have to catch it.

Cherries101 Wed 16-Jan-19 11:15:21

I was like this. NHS GP said all tests normal but wouldn’t give me my results. I went to a private GP and was told I had moderate to severe hypothyroidism. Got treated. Now I have no problems waking up.

Isleepinahedgefund Wed 16-Jan-19 11:18:38

Have a child, then you will never sleep late again in your life.

Seriously though - go to bed earlier and you’ll get up earlier. It’s a matter of changing your habits. It might never become so ingrained that you do it naturally, but you’re going to have to take some action and pay attention to it.

It takes about 6 months to really, really change a habit - never mind all that 21 days malarkey.

I also agree with setting yourself morning meetings so you HAVE to get up - your behaviour sounds a little but avoidant, which won’t be helping matters.

Breakawaygirl Wed 16-Jan-19 11:18:59

It's simple to do, and you just have to be consistent.

Set an alarm for early in the morning, when it goes out, don't press snooze, count 5,4,3,2,1 and get up. Have a shower to wake up straight away.

Night before prep clothes/food whatever else so you can grab and go.

If you can do some exercise before bed do it, this will knock you out for a good sleep. Follow it with a bath and you'll be in dreamland before you know it.

Breakawaygirl Wed 16-Jan-19 11:21:11

Also find reasons to enjoy the mornings.

Quiet, peaceful, no-one around, public transport less crowded, work is chilled when you get in...

I started getting up early to avoid the manic hours on public transport and I feel so much less anxious/stressed on a daily basis.

kaytee87 Wed 16-Jan-19 11:31:17

Well what time do you go to bed?

pyramidbutterflyfish Wed 16-Jan-19 11:55:04

Getting older helps. I used to love sleeping in. Now I’m 40 I wake up “naturally” early with a slight headache, needing a wee.

OneStepMoreFun Wed 16-Jan-19 14:59:17

Try making it easier rather than harsher, maybe? Put a radio alarm by the bed, tuned quite loudly to lively music. Add one of those daylight alarms. Put your phone out of reach (on the landing?) Make sure the heating comes on early so the house is warm before you get up.

Can you get an old style filter coffee machine on a timer plug so that the machine has brewed coffee before you wake up and the smell starts to work its way upstairs?

Or, if you are this hard-wired to be a night owl, can you switch jobs to something that demands a night shift?

AtLeastThreeDrinks Wed 16-Jan-19 15:54:12

People saying she's being lazy are totally disregarding the fact that people have different body clocks.

I read that people who prefer to stay up all night would likely have been sentries back when we were living outdoors in tribes –someone to stay up and watch out for danger while everyone else slept.

I tend to go through phases of rising early or sleeping in. Whoever made the point about the first 3-4 mins being shit, I'm going to try and remember that!

AtLeastThreeDrinks Wed 16-Jan-19 15:55:45

Chronotype is the word I was looking for!

Here: "Melatonin rises in the evening and helps prepare our bodies for sleep, whereas cortisol rises in the morning and helps us to wake up. For night owls, melatonin increases later in the day, while cortisol rises earlier in morning people."

Talith Wed 16-Jan-19 16:35:29

I'm pathologically punctual and part of it is just inherent in my probably irritating personality. grin The thought of rolling up anywhere late is horrible. It helps that I've worked for the same boss for 20 years and they're absolutely scathing if you're late or have a hair out of place!

My tip is to be realistic about how long it takes you to get up shower dress etc... Actually time it. Same for your journey to work. Time it. You're probably massively underestimating the time you need to leave. Write that time on a piece of paper and stick it on your alarm clock so you aren't winging it thinking five more minutes won't hurt.

Same with appointments - it's not just leaving it's parking up (pay and display or ticket car park - have you got change?) and how long is the walk to the venue? Do you really know the route or are you expecting to wing it with google maps. Never wing it - run over it the night before.

Without firm boundaries and if you're not needed to be anywhere it's easy to slide into sloth but in your position, I'd permit myself to flap my night bird wings and have lazy lie ins when it didn't matter and enjoy them not beat myself up.... as long as when it did matter I got my arse in gear and got out with time to spare.

The older you get the less being perpetually late is forgiven so it's worth pushing yourself to make some new habits - I agree given the GP hasn't diagnosed owt it's most likely learnt behaviour in your case. You don't need to make everyday a 6 am start like I say permit yourself to be a night bird but when it matters get organised and get up! grin

Loopytiles Wed 16-Jan-19 16:41:10

Lots of things are not set up for night owls.

DH is one and never goes to bed early, so he just doesn’t get enough sleep. Not ideal healthwise.

He lies in at weekends (I’m a lark so don’t want lie ins) and sleeps loads on rare holidays.

His job allows some flexibility, unlike the school run, on his days the DC have to sort themselves out, as he struggles even to be ready himself!

Loopytiles Wed 16-Jan-19 16:43:06

It’s not laziness in his case as in general he’s v hardworking, including as a parent.

It did work quite well when DC were tiny as I did the early hours and he often dealt with night dramas like nappy leaks and sickness!

speakout Wed 16-Jan-19 18:05:40


Why am I wasting the morning but you're not wasting the evening?

As others have said because that's no the way the world works.

In the morning we have had ( hopefully ) a good 8 hours sleep, so our energy levels are high.
The sun rises in the morning.
In winte time we need to take advantage of every bit of daylight we can, for emotional and physical health.
Kids need to be taken to school/nursery.childmonders.
Food prep can be done in the morning- prep for dinner, making packed lunches ( no one wants to eat sandwiches made the day before).
Shops sell freshly baked bread, arrive in the afternoon and your choices are limited.
Drying laundry outside is best done in the morning- wait until the afternoon and you have missed half the day.

To me early morning time is far more useful than late night time.

delboysskinandblister Wed 16-Jan-19 18:20:21

Long history of light sleeping. I'm a night owl. Wish i could return to publishing or any job where I work 10-6. I don't mind staying til 7pm.
I just don't DO mornings. Not helpful as the rest of the household is up with a lark always ''busy busy''.

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