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Phone bugged

(405 Posts)
Beingspiedon Sun 13-Jan-19 07:43:59

(Posting for traffic) I would really appreciate any help or advice anyone can give me as I don’t even know where to start right now.

Have a very bad relationship with PIL. Found out a few years ago they hired a private investigator on me. I found out because I overheard a conversation between PIL when they were drunk but they don’t know I’ve heard them.

Over the years since our relationship deteriorated, I’ve had a few cases where they’ve said things they shouldn’t know. I’ve always put it down to coincidence but recently my fil has word for word quoted two of my telephone conversations with my sister and he should have absolutely have no way of knowing any of it. He also got warning “looks” from mil when he said these things.

I can’t speak to anyone IRL about this in case I am being paranoid or I look crazy. If my phone is bugged then a lot of things that have happened over the last few years make sense. Is there anything I can do to find out if someone has access to
Personal information on my phone? Can anyone give me advice on this?

ThatsWotSheSaid Sun 13-Jan-19 07:47:43

Could you warn your sister and set up a sting with some crazy information that would be to tempting for them to out themselves? Like your having an affair or stealing money.

doingasurvey Sun 13-Jan-19 07:48:00

What is their problem with you? Where is your OH in all of this and what is he doing about it?

ThatsWotSheSaid Sun 13-Jan-19 07:48:15


Miane Sun 13-Jan-19 07:49:27

What does your DH say about this?

I’d be making calls to the Australian embassy to enquire about emigrating.

Rainagain1 Sun 13-Jan-19 07:49:45

That is weird. Were they mobile or landline calls? Were you at home for both calls?
Maybe they have listening device in your house?
I would currently be tearing house apart looking for it. Or if you think it's your phone then get new one?

TinyBarista Sun 13-Jan-19 07:51:07

Where were you when you had both of these conversations? Is it likely there is a recording device somewhere in your house, rather than your phone being bugged? And would your DH be 'in on it' or could you discuss with him?

Beingspiedon Sun 13-Jan-19 07:52:21

They have control issues and need to know everything about their children’s lives. I used to live with them mil would sit outside sils bedroom to listen to conversations. Caught her outside mine an dhs bedroom once.

We have recently moved 7 hours drive away so they must feel a loss of control now. Dh knows about private detective but there is no way of proving it and they are the type that would just flat out deny to male me look crazy. We are incredibly low contact on the verge of going no contact.

Beingspiedon Sun 13-Jan-19 07:55:38

Dh does not know I suspect phone bugging. I’m too nervous to say it out loud to be honest - I’ve mentioned it once or twice over the years jokingly when they’ve said things like - oh how strange that they’ve bought that up maybe they’re spying on us. That was just to test the waters really.

Mobile conversations both at home but it is unlikely they’d have had time to do anything in our home.

Pinot4me Sun 13-Jan-19 07:56:09

Maybe take your phone into a phone shop and ask for advice? At the very least they could check you’ve got all the latest updates and security settings on. What a horrible situation! Good luck OP!

TinyBarista Sun 13-Jan-19 07:59:20

They haven't given you an Alexa device or anything similar have they?

CookieSwirlC Sun 13-Jan-19 08:02:54

I’m not sure given the low contact you have, surely you’d have noticed them taking your mobile for an extended period? As surely any bugging tech would be inside for you not to notice. More than likely if they have done anything they’ll have put something in your house as that’s much easier/quicker. When was the last time they visited?

DroningOn Sun 13-Jan-19 08:05:01

New phone number and NC.

FixTheBone Sun 13-Jan-19 08:05:56

And your sister definitely hasn't been talking to him about your conversations?

It's an awful lot more likely than him bugging your mobile phone - he'd almost certainly need physical access to the phone to install the software required.

eddielizzard Sun 13-Jan-19 08:06:13

Yes I'd set up a sting with your sister. Something really bad that sends them into a tail spin that they won't be able to keep quiet about. Sounds awful but maybe some test results your DH has hidden from you and you've found. About a serious illness. They won't be able to contain themselves. Then you deny all knowledge and look really confused.

Then google how to find bugging devices!

trulybadlydeeply Sun 13-Jan-19 08:07:01

Definitely have conversations with your sister on the phone about emigrating/the affair you're having /sending your DC to boarding school etc, or whatever will shock and worry them the most. Also seek some advice on how they could have bugged your mobile (would they have had access to it??)

I would also be careful of assuming that your DH does not know about this, they may have a very powerful hold over him.

Beingspiedon Sun 13-Jan-19 08:07:41

This all started before we went low contact and PIL had regular access to our house (plus spare keys). I’m also someone that leaves my phone lying about.

However we have since moved and I’ve since got a new mobile. Have been googling and it does seem possible to bug someone’s phone without having access to it.

I’m going in circles in my head thinking no way this is too far fetched. But then I remember what fil has said and think how the hell do they know then? I’m that much detail too.

Stuckmom Sun 13-Jan-19 08:08:33

They hired a private detective on you?? And noe you think your phone is bugged.. if that was me if he running for the hills no matter how much I love their son they are fucking nuts. Buy a new phone/contract upgrade if you can. Change your number and don't give it to them. Do as a pp said organise with sister a fake conversation about something like stealing money and wait if they bring it up you know for sure.

Xenia Sun 13-Jan-19 08:08:44

The News of the World did all that mobile hacking - they found a lot of people never changed their passwords for voice mail for example. So I would start with taking it into a mobile shop, changing your password etc.

They may have put bugs inside the house in which case have a look for them. You can pay to have the house swept for bugs if you want too but it sounds like it is only the mobile phone that is the problem. They may have put key logging software on your computer but that seems less likely too.

Beingspiedon Sun 13-Jan-19 08:09:02

I’m confident dh doesn’t know. Him going low contact is part of the reason for this imo

ShizeItsWeegie Sun 13-Jan-19 08:09:34

Are you certain your DH is not involved in this OP?
Have the PIL had the opportunity to install stuff?

waywardfruit Sun 13-Jan-19 08:09:40

If you had the conversations with your sister and they have the same sort of controlling relationship with her as they do with you, are you quite sure that they haven't forced her to tell them?

That seems more likely.

ILiveInSalemsLot Sun 13-Jan-19 08:12:01

It’s more likely that there’s a device in your home. They’re actually quite easy to get and place.

NotANotMan Sun 13-Jan-19 08:14:00

@waywardfruit it's her parents in law not parents

Beingspiedon Sun 13-Jan-19 08:14:36

They don’t speak to my sister - only met a handful of times etc

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