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AIBU to not want to split bill evenly six ways

(357 Posts)
SaucySpider Sat 12-Jan-19 23:26:16

I've just been for a meal with my daughter and son in law together with his parents. My husband and I arrived early so bought some drinks and were seated while we waited for the others. We had a very nice meal and had a good evening. However when the bill came my daughter split the bill evenly six ways but after our first drinks hubby and I only drank tap water (not because we are mean but because we like water with our meal) while the others all had at least two alcoholic drinks then coffees which were added to the bill. Thus we ended up paying for a large portion of their drinks. Don't get me wrong we are always willing to 'get a round in' when we socialise but having already bought our own drinks and not having any more I felt a little bit cheated or am I being a skinflint. Would it have been fairer to just split the food part?

IWantMyHatBack Sat 12-Jan-19 23:27:14

YANBU

Disquieted1 Sat 12-Jan-19 23:29:37

YABU
I hate these 'but you had the salmon' discussions. You were out with family, the split was fair.

MatildaTheCat Sat 12-Jan-19 23:30:03

Sorry but you would have looked quite a skinflint if you’d split the bill exactly when dining out with in-laws. Unless there is a backstory I think your DD took the right approach.

Auntiepatricia Sat 12-Jan-19 23:30:50

Are you skint? Because if not YABU and petty.

SinglePringle Sat 12-Jan-19 23:31:17

YABU. You bought, what, one / two of the six a drink. Really not an issue for me at all.

Unless a friend is hard up (and then one of us will say ‘let’s pay for our own’ at the start), I hate penny pinchers at a meal out.

FreshlyWashed Sat 12-Jan-19 23:32:08

I agree with above. Sure, be upset if it's friends/acquaintances. But family is a different thing.
In fact, in my family there's usually wars and skulduggery where one 'side' fights to pay the entire thing. It can get quite bonkers.

Bibijayne Sat 12-Jan-19 23:32:13

YANBU. We often split bills, but alcoholic drinks are always done separately . Otherwise it's unfair on non drinkers and designated drivers.

AllMYSmellySocks Sat 12-Jan-19 23:33:37

YANBU. I only ever suggest splitting the bill evenly if I'm the one who has ordered the cheapest meal. If I'm the one who's ordered more I always make sure I say I've chucked in an extra £20 because I had wine.

ZanyMobster Sat 12-Jan-19 23:34:08

YABU as it's family. In a big group of random friends we always separate the drinks bill but with family we split it.

Nothininmenoggin Sat 12-Jan-19 23:35:40

We always split a bill evenly. Can't be bothered with people who think like this it's so petty and comes across as penny pinching.

ZanyMobster Sat 12-Jan-19 23:35:50

Sorry, I am assuming it would be a regular thing so swings and roundabouts etc. If not then may be YANBU. Personally if I had alcoholic drinks and others riding I would offer to put more in anyway.

pallisers Sat 12-Jan-19 23:35:54

For the sake of a couple of drinks do you really want to turn paying the bill into a gsce math problem (if X is the number of drinks had by A and B and Y is the salmon had by C)?

6-way split feels very fair where everyone ate a meal and no one ordered the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu.

ZanyMobster Sat 12-Jan-19 23:36:13

Didn't not riding!!

robininbrum Sat 12-Jan-19 23:36:30

Depends how much extra you ended up paying. If it was just a tenner or so between you, then YABU. If you are so worried about 'splitting the bill' then you probably shouldn't go out with other people.

BuilderEtiquette Sat 12-Jan-19 23:37:41

My approach is that you win some and you lose some. I’m vegetarian so my food is often half the price of meat eaters’. I try to make up for it by drinking more wine grin

That said, I once went to a very boozy birthday meal when I was going through ivf (so not drinking myself) and we split the bill. I paid about £50 for a tomato salad and a risotto. It stung a bit but that’s just the way these things work.

TheBigBangRocks Sat 12-Jan-19 23:37:59

I'd have split evenly, whether friends or family and I never drink. It seems petty to say you had x and I had z. I'd have paid for my child though so would have covered their share of the bill.

cadburyegg Sat 12-Jan-19 23:38:18

I would usually say YANBU if you were with friends but not in this scenario. You resent paying a few quid towards drinks for your daughter and her extended family? Really? hmm

ZanyMobster Sat 12-Jan-19 23:38:36

I do think it's a weird one as they are tight not offering to put a bit more in and you are tight for actually being bothered about it. I am always happy to buy family drinks etc but I guess it depends on whether they reciprocate. I can understand bad feeling if it's one sided.

Onemorefireball Sat 12-Jan-19 23:47:24

I'm with you op. It always sours the night for me when I end up paying loads more than my food came to. People might say it's tight, but isn't it pretty cheeky to expect others to subsidise your meal? And mine is always cheaper, so it doesn't balance out long term!

Pachyderm1 Sat 12-Jan-19 23:49:37

I can’t bear bill splitting down to the pound as it’s just so tight.

Leeds2 Sat 12-Jan-19 23:55:19

I don't think you are unreasonable as such, but I would never do it. And I bet DD, her husband and his parents would think quite negatively of you if you insisted.

PyongyangKipperbang Sat 12-Jan-19 23:55:54

So why didnt you say anything at the time?

I am always confused by these posts. You dont want to split evenly, but dont say anything. Why not?

Either go in expecting to split and eat steak and drink wine, or say at the start "I would prefer to have seperate bills". But dont pay up then slag them off afterwards for not reading your mind!

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade Sat 12-Jan-19 23:56:52

Yanbu brew

PyongyangKipperbang Sat 12-Jan-19 23:57:53

I should add that I am on a very tight budget so I will always say that I would prefer to have seperate bills as I will order to my budget. I feel absolutely no embarassment about this as my real friends/family would understand and anyone who doesnt can be safely written off as a cunt.

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