To lie about getting a boob job?(75 Posts)
AIBU to lie to my family if/when I go in for a boob job?
I was hoping to do it later this year but they will give me so much grief over the money I'm spending I really can't face telling them.
Might need one of them to look after my dd whilst I go in so was just going to make out I'm going in for something else but I hate lying about something like this.
AIBU to consider this .
And what could I even say I'm going in for without getting them worried?
How do you hide it? You're gonna have drains coming out of your tits for the first week.
I feel that unless you owe them money, what you do with yours is your own business. Some may spend the same amount of money yearly of vacations, cars or whatever. I would tell them the truth and if they go on about it tell them it is your life. You will need help for a while afterwards, if they are unwilling to help you out then perhaps save enough to hire somebody to come help for the first week at least.
I think it's absolutely your decision whether or not to tell your family about a medical procedure.
However there are several issues here that make me think YABU.
First, it's unfair to lie to your parents to get childcare. Second, it's unfair to put your DD in a situation where she has to lie to her grandparents and has the responsibility of caring for you herself. Finally, I don't think some of the scaremongering going on in this thread is particularly kindly meant or helpful, but if god forbid something should go wrong, I think your next of kin really should know which hospital you're at.
I had one 10 years ago and no one but my DH knows about it.
I'm a private person and can't see how it would be anyone elses business but mine.
I had a gynae op last year and needed two weeks to recover and when anyone asked I just said it was a minor procedure and gave no further information.
How much time do you have to take off work after the boob job?
How much will it cost you, how much do you have in savings, how much is your income, what are your monthly debt payments?
If you lost your job & couldn't get another, how long before you ran out of all savings (now & after you've blown a lot on boob job)?
Before you have the operation, you could buy a couple of bras in bigger sizes and start wearing them, so it looks like it's happened gradually. Then the "on the pill" thing might work.
Will you come home with drains still in? You won't be able to lift much either so your DD will have to help you a bit. Also won't your parents notice drains/bandages etc when they bring your daughter hone?
They’re your boobs and if you don’t wanna tell anybody then you don’t want have to. Ignore the judgemental comments on here, I think they’re just jealous that you can afford to get them done
It's your money.
It's your body.
It's your decision.
There is no need to dodge, hide or lie about what you're doing. You're getting a boob job.
Why? You want to.
How much? That's none of their business / that's a rather personal question
Any more questions : you don't need permission, you're not justifying your private choices to anyone. Walk away.
Please do make arrangements for someone to be with you after the op, you may feel shit for a few days.
People will notice. My colleague denied having had a boon job for years and recently admitted to it. It was blooming obvious. The fact she denied it drew people's attention to it iyswim.
They will find out and still judge you so why add lying to it? In the end, you are a grown up and making your own decision. The judge me t might be unfair or justified if you are struggling for money and using money for it that really needs to go on something else or worse getting a loan to pay it. Tell them and accept their views, they are entitled to them, you don't have to let them affect you.
What are you going to tell your daughter? She's the one at home with you, right? So she'll also have to lie to your parents on your behalf because there's no way on Earth an 11 year old will keep that secret.
Are you planning on covering up forever so your daughter doesn't see your scars or your new boobs?
I don't think you've thought this through tbh.
Theoretically I have nothing against cosmetic surgery per se, but as PP have said, any surgery carries risk so I think you're daft for having unnecessary surgery, and daft for lying about it, and manipulative and unfair for dragging your poor daughter into a conflict of loyalties.
How frequently do you see them? If they see you every week or so they will notice the differencem and saying youre going in for something else is a bjg clue actually, even Marlene in OFAH used that line and no one believed her. However if you only see them every 6 months or so and could easily have changed shape in that time then yku may get away with it. You'll have to keep a sports bra on for weeks after and my friend couldnt lift her arms after for the pain so couldnt do her hair etc. Its things like that that could well give the game away
It will be very noticable as they will be high up and full until they drop and fluff after a few weeks. What you leave hospital with isnt the end result as you’ll be tight, high and swollen. What size are you going from and to? What size and profile implants are you having?
A friend had implants without telling anyone and chose to debut them one night down the pub wearing a tight low cut black wiggle dress with heels. She was a flat size 8 before but now looked like katie price. She looked ridiculous and it was so obvious but she said she was wearing a new bra despite the fact that her breasts were the size of my head.
They are against any surgery unless absolutely necessary.
So what are you going to say to ‘make out you’re going in for something else’? You just plan on inventing a medical condition? How will you answer their inevitable questions? No one else can really come up with a story for you as we don’t know your family and if they’d believe it...
I’m not against surgery, but I think you’re going about this in the worst possible way. You need someone to look after you after surgery and help you out - logically if you only live with you daughter then your poor daughter will be forced into caring for you. (As in you won’t be able to immediately resume normal activities, even lifting something off of a shelf might be difficult). You need childcare for your daughter whilst at hospital and you need someone to collect you from the hospital. You need to plan this so much better with a realistic outlook on life post-procedure
You didn’t say your DD would be looking after you.
However -you were letting her look after herself (presumably while you are in the house after your operation )
You are not telling anybody, and getting a taxi home.
Who else is there in the house to look after you? Or have i missed something?
So you DIDNT state that your DD would be looking after you post op. But you didn’t say that anybody else would be and since you said you were getting a taxi.......it wasn’t too hard to join the dots.
And when you post in AIBU you always run the risk of people making comments about your decision /dilemma etc that you may not like.
In support of op, not everyone has breast enlargement for vanity. That’s a ridiculous suggestion. Why do we have to sexualise everything.
It is sometimes for emotional reasons, confidence, femininity.
Buying a top that fits well, so you feel more feminine. It’s a personal thing.
It doesn’t suggest small breasts are a bad thing. It’s an individual choice.
I'm not against cosmetic surgery per se; I had a procedure myself last year, but insisted on a local anaesthetic, and I also waited until my children were 20+. A woman I knew years ago died having a boob job. What a ridiculous way to go, and she had young children too. Is having slightly bigger boobs really that important to you?
SAve yourself some money and go to Belgium privately. It’s tonnes cheaper. I had it done years ago and surgeon did a tremendous job. My uk gp was a great support too and checked me over. I was in hospital for one night.
So glad I got it done. Surgeon won’t do massive boobs though, only reasonable size for your figure. I had my consultation the night before surgery.
Where the hell did I say my dd will be looking after me post OP.
As usual the thread has turned into a debate about boob jobs which was not my question.
I think of you're 'very small' OP all the more noticeable it will be, I have absolutely nothing against cosmetic surgery of the breast or anything else, each to their own but I have never seen it look natural afterwards even with a 'small' increase it's more the shape that gives the game away. By that logic you'd end up telling them anyway and they'd surely be very hurt that you had a surgical procedure which carries many risks, without even telling them.
How will you care for yourself afterwards? The healing process can be quite a slog for some people...You shouldn't have to struggle alone. That aside, they will not even discharge you unless you have the care of someone for the subsequent 24/48 hours, as with any surgery. You may very likely not be in a fit state to car for yourself as surgery is no walk in the park even when it goes well, I can assure you of that. At 11 years of age it is not reasonable or safe for either of you to be alone post-op. What if you fall unwell? It's not fair for her to see you in that way and be responsible ....I think this needs much further consideration OP, though I don't think it sounds like you want to hear that. They really will not let you 'get a taxi' home alone after this procedure, and you may have to stay there even if all goes well.
Are you close to your family? At the end of the day what you as a 40 year old adult spend your money on isn't their business, and it's a shame that you are so stressed about their judgement that it alters your life decisions or makes you consider not even telling them. It's also a worry that you'd endanger yourself post operatively to achieve this and keep a secret. Because your DD ia involved you really need to be more realistic about how to plan for this operation safely and sensibly, whether you tell your family or not.
Out of interest, if you think your surgery will make such little difference to your boobs that your family won't notice, what's the point of paying so much for it
Why would you want to put something so false and unnatural into your body just for vanity? Have you not read reports of all the things which can go wrong! Lose some weight instead and exercise and your body will look more balanced again and you will feel so much better. Then treat your family to a holiday with the money saved.
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