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To lie about getting a boob job?

(75 Posts)
user1490465531 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:07:12

AIBU to lie to my family if/when I go in for a boob job?
I was hoping to do it later this year but they will give me so much grief over the money I'm spending I really can't face telling them.
Might need one of them to look after my dd whilst I go in so was just going to make out I'm going in for something else but I hate lying about something like this.
AIBU to consider this .
And what could I even say I'm going in for without getting them worried?

Doyouavocado Fri 11-Jan-19 21:11:12

I’m guessing you are a teenager? If it’s your money you are spending then who cares, you are an adult, unless it’s their money?

Just be honest, I’m sure they will realise when your boobs triple in size grin

user1490465531 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:15:44

No its my 4oth birthday present to myself and as I'm a single parent they think I should spend my money on better things which realistically I should.

elephantinstripeysocks Fri 11-Jan-19 21:19:38

i wouldnt lie. it will be much worse for you if there are any medical complications or problems and you may find it harder to get help from them. I would just be honest. You're an adult. Its your money. I presume theyre not lending/giving it to you. If they criticize or ask questions you tell them to mind their own business and ask to see receipts for their weekly spending. Wine/cigarettes/chocolate/holidays/make up/beauty appointments/boob jobs. All non essentials and I would point this out if they judge you.

elephantinstripeysocks Fri 11-Jan-19 21:20:28

and for the record I think your own self esteem (which Im assuming would get a boost from this or you wouldnt be doing it) is worth the money.

ShinyMe Fri 11-Jan-19 21:20:50

What's the point in lying? It'll be obvious afterwards.

eco1636 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:21:28

Don't lie to them it could all go pear shaped and you'd need their help.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:23:21

How exactly do you plan on hiding these new boobs? You'll only make things worse if you lie about it because they will know the second they see you. Lying about things is something a child does. You are a grown woman and can spend your money any way you want to. There does not need to be some big family discussion about this.

whatsthepointthen Fri 11-Jan-19 21:24:59

wouldnt it be obvious confused

legolimb Fri 11-Jan-19 21:26:20

It's up to you . Either tell them or don't. It's your money to spend how you wish - unless of course you owe them all money.

fwiw - I had a nose job two years ago and told no family members. They still haven't noticed grin

eco1636 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:27:21

I don't think my family would notice a subtle boob job the

eco1636 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:27:45

But I wouldn't do it as non essential surgery risky

user1490465531 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:34:47

I'm only going for a subtle increase.
I'm very very small and it looks worse the older I've got as I've put on weight everywhere but my boobs so look totally unbalanced.
When I was younger and slimmer I gothink away with it.

livs1987 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:36:51

Wait what? You want to tell them that you’re having something else done....this doesn’t make sense as NHS hospitals do not carry out cosmetic procedures so it will be obvious it’s a cosmetic/elective procedure by process of elimination, which will obviously expose the fact that you’re spending money on plastic surgery?

May as well just be honest

user1490465531 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:39:41

I don't need to tell them what hospital I'm going into.

uhtredsonofuhtred Fri 11-Jan-19 21:44:00

Bit different to your circumstances, but 10 years ago I had a miscarriage and was haemorrhaging I was rush to hospital i had no money on me and needed to get home the next day when I was released from hospital, I called my mum told her I'd had a really heavy period and fainted she thought nothing of it pick me up and dropped me home, a couple of days later I woke in a pool of blood and was heamorrhaging again i managed to call for an ambulance before I passed out, my mum turned up at mine (too check how I was doing) just as the ambulance did and my whole lie was uncovered. The moral to my (very long) story is that it will come out on the wash,everything always does, just be honest they might be fine with it you never know

CSIblonde Fri 11-Jan-19 21:45:14

I didn't tell my mother when I had one at 26. I went from 32AA to 34B. She suspected ,but I had put on weight anyway at that time after being abnormally thin due to depression. I just wore baggy stuff round her & said it was down to weight gain/going on the Pill, as I never saw much of her any way.

Cranky17 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:47:02

My family would totally judge me for a boob job, we have similar circumstances,

But you have to tell them, you will need help afterwards... you could lie and say your sugar daddy is paying for it wink

PositivelyPERF Fri 11-Jan-19 21:47:18

Seriously. I’m very small chested and have put on weight, so my boobs look ridiculous, but I’d rather spend the thousands that boob job costs, in buying some fab exercise equipment and healthy food. As it is, I’m too greedy and lazy. 😁

elephantinstripeysocks Fri 11-Jan-19 21:47:55

go big or go home op. Come out with DDs and style it out. "its the pill." should do it.

Cookit Fri 11-Jan-19 21:48:46

I don't need to tell them what hospital I'm going into.

You’ll need someone to bring you home though won’t you? Both times I’ve been under general anaesthetic, even though relatively minor procedures, I was told I need someone to fetch me (and then stay with me after). Or do you plan to bring a friend?
I can see why you’d want to not discuss it though. I would consider something like that not really my family’s business.

Wannabeyorkshirelass Fri 11-Jan-19 21:49:05

I've never seen a boob job that didn't look like a boob job, even the 'subtle' ones. I think it would be irresponsible not to tell them what's going on if they're looking after your child.

Cookiedough123 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:50:06

I had one and you cant tell as i wore padded bras before anyway!! I did personally tell my mum and the odd person but no one guessed at all. You will need someone to help you for at least 24 hours as it is hard lifting things. You also need to have someone with you when you leave the hospital as my hospital wouldn't let you leave without a chaperone. I got dropped off by a friend and picked up by my boyfriend later that evening. You will also need to be careful picking your little one up ideally not at all for at least a week or two!

MiceSqueakCatsMeow Fri 11-Jan-19 21:51:07

Won't they notice that your boobs are different?
I'm 45 and getting braces this year. I can't see why their opinion would stop you. I think you should go for it.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS Fri 11-Jan-19 21:51:27

Implants are obvious though, so they'll know as soon as they see you.

PenelopeFlintstone Fri 11-Jan-19 21:52:17

What do they think you should spend it on?

budgetneeded Fri 11-Jan-19 21:52:29

it will be near impossible to "hide"
someone with only a little bit of training will spot all the tell tale signs.
when my mother had her breast surgery she had to wear a compression dressing and there were follow up appointment etc etc
just tell the truth

Lollypop701 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:53:11

Tell them nhs have covered it for psychological reasons, as you told gp you were depressed...

GabsAlot Fri 11-Jan-19 21:53:17

you will need to tell them incase of emergencies they will ask for a contact number aswell and u cant drive straight after a GA

unless youre in debt to them or someone else just tell them its not their business

Dahlietta Fri 11-Jan-19 21:53:40

I've never seen a boob job that didn't look like a boob job, even the 'subtle' ones.

Well, surely you wouldn't know, would you? grin

MissLanesAmericanCousin Fri 11-Jan-19 21:54:48

I think it's silly to be 40 and lying to your parents about something so insignificant.

user1490465531 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:54:59

My dd is 11 so can see to herself pretty much.
Would get a cab back from the hospital or I've got a friend that could pick me up.

Ellie56 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:55:05


Not a good idea really.

blueshoes Fri 11-Jan-19 21:55:46

If it is subtle and you don't flaunt them with tight low cut tops as some women who get boob jobs are wont to do, I don't imagine people would notice. Some may suspect but you don't have to confirm.

If you have put on weight, then say it is part of the weight gain. No point attracting prurient interest by admitting to it.

NoFucksImAQueen Fri 11-Jan-19 21:56:30

you need to tell them as someone will need to bring you home. you will also need help with your dd or you will end up in pain if you don't rest. I had implants when I was 19 and felt ok the second day so overdid it and ended up in a lot of pain. please don't underestimate the toll on your body, I was up and about quicker after all 3 of my kids births

Ellisandra Fri 11-Jan-19 21:56:54

I think you’d be better off spending the money on therapy to help you get over, by age 40, your parents’ opinion!

FenellasRedVelvetDress Fri 11-Jan-19 21:57:08

Before you commit to this google Colin Hendrys wife. Kanye Wests Mum. Probably they went to the best surgeons money could buy.

They are two of many who are dead/disfigured through needless surgery. I know two women with horrible scars, pain and one of them has wonky tits.
I simply cannot understand having non necessary surgery - which always carries a risk - when you have a child that needs you.

I think you should tell somebody in case something goes wrong and make sure your will is in order.
I hope it all goes well for you but I do think it needs pointing out that you should have your affairs in order. Is it really worth it? Is there not another way you could improve your self esteem without resorting to this?
Playing devils advocate.

NoFucksImAQueen Fri 11-Jan-19 21:57:11

sorry cross posted with your dds age

user1490465531 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:58:05

They are against any surgery unless absolutely necessary.

TrotEsio Fri 11-Jan-19 21:58:23

@CSIblonde I don't understand how you went from a 32 to a 34 inch back? The operation increases your bust not your back measurement?!

Iamdanish Fri 11-Jan-19 22:01:41

I suppose the only way you can pull this off is if your entire family is blind.
Why lie to get childcare, that would make me feel used and I would be furious for being taken for a fool.

Villanelley Fri 11-Jan-19 22:01:43

It's doable on your own. No need to tell anyone. Good luck flowers

GabsAlot Fri 11-Jan-19 22:02:15

i agree about non essential surgery but stil not their business-lie if u want to but its your life

Gigglebrain Fri 11-Jan-19 22:05:22

User, I’m absolutely in favour of you doing this if to want to, it’s your body and your decision, but, a family member had one done, they got infected and she had to have them removed, so all that money gone.
Also, I would be wary of having unnecessary surgery when this have a child, what if something goes wrong?
As for your parents, I can totally understand, I’m 44 and didn’t tell my mum something recently because I knew she’d tell me off 😬😬.

cuppycakey Fri 11-Jan-19 22:09:45

Tricky one. I am also against non necessary surgery, especially when you have a young child.

However, your choice. I agree with PP that it is very odd you do not feel at 40 that you can tell your parents you are having a boob job because you cannot face their disapproval. Is it more than that? Do they support you financially or with regular childcare whilst you work? If they do then I can kind of see why they might be a bit hacked off.

I really don't think you should lie. Just brazen it out. Big Girls Pants.

Cookiedough123 Fri 11-Jan-19 22:10:22

People will only notice if you go crazy different. I was 34a and had 450cc over the muscle. Im now a D cup. If i wore padded bras they would look massive but i tend to live in sports bras as they are super comfy so i dont look much different in clothes. The hospital wont discharge you when youve had general anaesthetic unless you have someone who will stay with you for the first 24 hours.

lily2403 Fri 11-Jan-19 22:16:44

Can you not leave her with a friend?

ISmellBabies Fri 11-Jan-19 22:20:35

You don't have to tell them you're going to hospital at all. Just say you're having a night out (which you are)! Your medical ins and outs aren't anyone else's business.

VanGoghsDog Fri 11-Jan-19 22:21:01

The hospital will not discharge you to go home in a cab, you have to have someone to pick you up.

Depending how much you have done they may not notice, no-one has noticed I've had my hair dyed, though it is noticeable to me.

FenellasRedVelvetDress Fri 11-Jan-19 22:25:28

I’m very concerned over your comment
MyDD is 11 so can see to herself pretty much

Do you really think it’s right to put your care into the hands of a child ? Because that’s what she is - a child.
What if you are ill? What if something goes wrong? Are you really going to put the responsibility on her shoulders?
I’m pretty shocked that you think an 11 year old can see to themselves but I’m horrified to think she can look after a post op patient.

I think, reading your posts, that it’s not surgery you should be looking at yet but maybe - and I’m saying this in a kind way- maybe you should look at some therapy first. Your emotional problems, how you view yourself and relationship with your parents will not be sorted out with a bloody boob job.
Go and see your GP. Maybe spend some of the money on some counselling before you commit to non necessary surgery. Nobody’s problems are solved by having bigger tits.

quizqueen Fri 11-Jan-19 22:28:55

Why would you want to put something so false and unnatural into your body just for vanity? Have you not read reports of all the things which can go wrong! Lose some weight instead and exercise and your body will look more balanced again and you will feel so much better. Then treat your family to a holiday with the money saved.

zzzzz Fri 11-Jan-19 22:31:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TacoLover Fri 11-Jan-19 22:33:36

Out of interest, if you think your surgery will make such little difference to your boobs that your family won't notice, what's the point of paying so much for itconfused

dontgobaconmyheart Fri 11-Jan-19 22:33:48

I think of you're 'very small' OP all the more noticeable it will be, I have absolutely nothing against cosmetic surgery of the breast or anything else, each to their own but I have never seen it look natural afterwards even with a 'small' increase it's more the shape that gives the game away. By that logic you'd end up telling them anyway and they'd surely be very hurt that you had a surgical procedure which carries many risks, without even telling them.

How will you care for yourself afterwards? The healing process can be quite a slog for some people...You shouldn't have to struggle alone. That aside, they will not even discharge you unless you have the care of someone for the subsequent 24/48 hours, as with any surgery. You may very likely not be in a fit state to car for yourself as surgery is no walk in the park even when it goes well, I can assure you of that. At 11 years of age it is not reasonable or safe for either of you to be alone post-op. What if you fall unwell? It's not fair for her to see you in that way and be responsible ....I think this needs much further consideration OP, though I don't think it sounds like you want to hear that. They really will not let you 'get a taxi' home alone after this procedure, and you may have to stay there even if all goes well.

Are you close to your family? At the end of the day what you as a 40 year old adult spend your money on isn't their business, and it's a shame that you are so stressed about their judgement that it alters your life decisions or makes you consider not even telling them. It's also a worry that you'd endanger yourself post operatively to achieve this and keep a secret. Because your DD ia involved you really need to be more realistic about how to plan for this operation safely and sensibly, whether you tell your family or not.

user1490465531 Fri 11-Jan-19 22:33:51

Where the hell did I say my dd will be looking after me post OP.
As usual the thread has turned into a debate about boob jobs which was not my question.

Ozziewozzie Fri 11-Jan-19 22:37:51

SAve yourself some money and go to Belgium privately. It’s tonnes cheaper. I had it done years ago and surgeon did a tremendous job. My uk gp was a great support too and checked me over. I was in hospital for one night.
So glad I got it done. Surgeon won’t do massive boobs though, only reasonable size for your figure. I had my consultation the night before surgery.

RhubarbaraWindsor Fri 11-Jan-19 22:41:42

I'm not against cosmetic surgery per se; I had a procedure myself last year, but insisted on a local anaesthetic, and I also waited until my children were 20+. A woman I knew years ago died having a boob job. What a ridiculous way to go, and she had young children too. Is having slightly bigger boobs really that important to you?

Ozziewozzie Fri 11-Jan-19 22:41:43

In support of op, not everyone has breast enlargement for vanity. That’s a ridiculous suggestion. Why do we have to sexualise everything.
It is sometimes for emotional reasons, confidence, femininity.
Buying a top that fits well, so you feel more feminine. It’s a personal thing.
It doesn’t suggest small breasts are a bad thing. It’s an individual choice.

FenellasRedVelvetDress Fri 11-Jan-19 23:14:27

You didn’t say your DD would be looking after you.
However -you were letting her look after herself (presumably while you are in the house after your operation )
You are not telling anybody, and getting a taxi home.
Who else is there in the house to look after you? Or have i missed something?
So you DIDNT state that your DD would be looking after you post op. But you didn’t say that anybody else would be and since you said you were getting a wasn’t too hard to join the dots.
And when you post in AIBU you always run the risk of people making comments about your decision /dilemma etc that you may not like.

livs1987 Sat 12-Jan-19 01:25:11

They are against any surgery unless absolutely necessary.

So what are you going to say to ‘make out you’re going in for something else’? You just plan on inventing a medical condition? How will you answer their inevitable questions? No one else can really come up with a story for you as we don’t know your family and if they’d believe it...

I’m not against surgery, but I think you’re going about this in the worst possible way. You need someone to look after you after surgery and help you out - logically if you only live with you daughter then your poor daughter will be forced into caring for you. (As in you won’t be able to immediately resume normal activities, even lifting something off of a shelf might be difficult). You need childcare for your daughter whilst at hospital and you need someone to collect you from the hospital. You need to plan this so much better with a realistic outlook on life post-procedure

Unobtainable Sat 12-Jan-19 01:43:25

It will be very noticable as they will be high up and full until they drop and fluff after a few weeks. What you leave hospital with isnt the end result as you’ll be tight, high and swollen. What size are you going from and to? What size and profile implants are you having?

A friend had implants without telling anyone and chose to debut them one night down the pub wearing a tight low cut black wiggle dress with heels. She was a flat size 8 before but now looked like katie price. She looked ridiculous and it was so obvious but she said she was wearing a new bra despite the fact that her breasts were the size of my head.

MapMyMum Sat 12-Jan-19 01:45:53

How frequently do you see them? If they see you every week or so they will notice the differencem and saying youre going in for something else is a bjg clue actually, even Marlene in OFAH used that line and no one believed her. However if you only see them every 6 months or so and could easily have changed shape in that time then yku may get away with it. You'll have to keep a sports bra on for weeks after and my friend couldnt lift her arms after for the pain so couldnt do her hair etc. Its things like that that could well give the game away

LadyOfTheCanyon Sat 12-Jan-19 06:10:02

What are you going to tell your daughter? She's the one at home with you, right? So she'll also have to lie to your parents on your behalf because there's no way on Earth an 11 year old will keep that secret.
Are you planning on covering up forever so your daughter doesn't see your scars or your new boobs?
I don't think you've thought this through tbh.
Theoretically I have nothing against cosmetic surgery per se, but as PP have said, any surgery carries risk so I think you're daft for having unnecessary surgery, and daft for lying about it, and manipulative and unfair for dragging your poor daughter into a conflict of loyalties.

swingofthings Sat 12-Jan-19 06:18:21

They will find out and still judge you so why add lying to it? In the end, you are a grown up and making your own decision. The judge me t might be unfair or justified if you are struggling for money and using money for it that really needs to go on something else or worse getting a loan to pay it. Tell them and accept their views, they are entitled to them, you don't have to let them affect you.

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse Sat 12-Jan-19 06:37:23

People will notice. My colleague denied having had a boon job for years and recently admitted to it. It was blooming obvious. The fact she denied it drew people's attention to it iyswim.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater Sat 12-Jan-19 07:07:39

It's your money.
It's your body.
It's your decision.

There is no need to dodge, hide or lie about what you're doing. You're getting a boob job.

Why? You want to.
How much? That's none of their business / that's a rather personal question

Any more questions : you don't need permission, you're not justifying your private choices to anyone. Walk away.

Please do make arrangements for someone to be with you after the op, you may feel shit for a few days.

elliesm98 Sat 12-Jan-19 07:10:57


They’re your boobs and if you don’t wanna tell anybody then you don’t want have to. Ignore the judgemental comments on here, I think they’re just jealous that you can afford to get them done

marmiteloversunite Sat 12-Jan-19 07:24:06

Will you come home with drains still in? You won't be able to lift much either so your DD will have to help you a bit. Also won't your parents notice drains/bandages etc when they bring your daughter hone?

LakieLady Sat 12-Jan-19 07:31:28

Before you have the operation, you could buy a couple of bras in bigger sizes and start wearing them, so it looks like it's happened gradually. Then the "on the pill" thing might work.

LadyOfTheCanyon Sat 12-Jan-19 07:32:58

Ur boobz ur rules hun xx hmm

lljkk Sat 12-Jan-19 11:35:24

How much time do you have to take off work after the boob job?

How much will it cost you, how much do you have in savings, how much is your income, what are your monthly debt payments?

If you lost your job & couldn't get another, how long before you ran out of all savings (now & after you've blown a lot on boob job)?

Andanotherhehe Sat 12-Jan-19 11:42:58

I had one 10 years ago and no one but my DH knows about it.

I'm a private person and can't see how it would be anyone elses business but mine.

I had a gynae op last year and needed two weeks to recover and when anyone asked I just said it was a minor procedure and gave no further information.

RCohle Sat 12-Jan-19 12:00:31

I think it's absolutely your decision whether or not to tell your family about a medical procedure.

However there are several issues here that make me think YABU.

First, it's unfair to lie to your parents to get childcare. Second, it's unfair to put your DD in a situation where she has to lie to her grandparents and has the responsibility of caring for you herself. Finally, I don't think some of the scaremongering going on in this thread is particularly kindly meant or helpful, but if god forbid something should go wrong, I think your next of kin really should know which hospital you're at.

AwakeNow Fri 18-Jan-19 04:58:32

I feel that unless you owe them money, what you do with yours is your own business. Some may spend the same amount of money yearly of vacations, cars or whatever. I would tell them the truth and if they go on about it tell them it is your life. You will need help for a while afterwards, if they are unwilling to help you out then perhaps save enough to hire somebody to come help for the first week at least.

knittedjest Fri 18-Jan-19 05:04:00

How do you hide it? You're gonna have drains coming out of your tits for the first week.

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