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To not want to be repaid in food and drinks?

(363 Posts)
ButterbeerPancakes Thu 10-Jan-19 16:18:11

About 5 months ago, a friend of mine borrowed £1,100 from me due to some financial issues she was experiencing. The initial plan was that she would repay me £100 every month for 11 months. Thus far, I've received a grand total of £150.

I know it's not my place to judge her lifestyle, but I've seen her spending frivolously (imo at least), so it's not as if she can't cough up the money she'd previously promised to pay me.

Asked her about it earlier today, and apparently she has "nothing left" after paying off her bills and that maybe instead of cash she could "buy me food and drinks here and there" since we've been "friends for such a long time anyway".

AIBU to think that this is bloody ridiculous? I don't really need the money but at the same time I can't help feeling like she's taking the piss out of me, years of friendship be damned.

Zoflorabore Thu 10-Jan-19 16:20:12

I don't understand what she means by food and drink?! How on earth is that any benefit to you?

If you've been friends for so long then you need to make it clear to her that your original plan is still in force, starting this month. That is a huge amount to lose and she is taking the piss.

HollowTalk Thu 10-Jan-19 16:20:51

No, that's ridiculous! Nobody would accept that. Tell her to set up a direct debit to come out on payday for £100 per month, as she promised. CF!

RedRedBluee Thu 10-Jan-19 16:21:00

This is exactly why you never lend friends money.

MyPatronusIsAHyena Thu 10-Jan-19 16:21:32

In my opinion that is too high a sum of money to even suggest that! She's bein a CF and I'd outright say no and say I'd rather stick to the agreed plan thanks hmm

LEDadjacent Thu 10-Jan-19 16:22:11

So you need to wait for her to have spare money for non-essential food and drink and then she’ll spend HALF of it on you? Hell no! Repaying her debt should be top priority.

ChrisjenAvasarala Thu 10-Jan-19 16:22:50

If it was a long time friend, then I'd go back to her and say she needs to transfer £50 each month since she can't afford the £100. But id be clear that it's non negotiable and needs to be £50 each month until all paid off.

Holidayshopping Thu 10-Jan-19 16:24:53

No bloody way, but then I’d never lend that amount of money to anyone!

Ask her to set up a direct debit.

SarahSissions Thu 10-Jan-19 16:25:34

If she can afford to buy you food and drinks then she can afford to pay you something! Even if its not the full amount agreed. I wonder if she would be so relaxed about her obligations if she had borrowed the money from a bank?

ChrisjenAvasarala Thu 10-Jan-19 16:27:17

She'd need to set up a standing order, not a direct debit.

Mouse14 Thu 10-Jan-19 16:27:21

It's not as if it's a tenner or even £100 she owes! That's a huge amount. She needs to stick to the original repayment plan!

Drum2018 Thu 10-Jan-19 16:27:28

What a CF. Tell her that is not suitable arrangement and that you want your money back as agreed at the start. Don't engage in any alternative ways to pay you back. As suggested tell her to set up a dd for payday so that the money leaves her account as soon as her salary comes in. After that it's up to her to sort out her bills.

Drum2018 Thu 10-Jan-19 16:29:12

Actually, yes, it's a standing order she needs to set up blush

Loopytiles Thu 10-Jan-19 16:30:41

Hope you got the agreement and terms in writing.

Hanab Thu 10-Jan-19 16:32:10

Please make sure she has signed something or you have the agreement via text or email🌷 or get her to sign something. Thay is a lot of money to be owed ..

Pinkyyy Thu 10-Jan-19 16:32:10

What a CF!

greendale17 Thu 10-Jan-19 16:32:28

She is being ridiculous. Asked for the agreed original payment per month.

She is just hoping to drag it out in the event you will eventually get fed up and write it off.

Fatasfook Thu 10-Jan-19 16:32:29

Wow! She must think you are a right chump! Unacceptable

DeadBod Thu 10-Jan-19 16:32:47

She's taking the piss. What was your reaction when she suggested paying with food and drink? That was your chance to be firm with her with regards to the repayments.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Thu 10-Jan-19 16:33:38

No. That makes no sense and it's not what she agreed to when you kindly loaned her the money.

And anyway, if she's paying for £950 worth of 'food and drink' for you, it comes to the same amount anyway... unless she's hoping you'll just 'forget' about it. Cheeky fucker!

HollowTalk Thu 10-Jan-19 16:35:01

Sorry, yes, a standing order!

BinaryStar Thu 10-Jan-19 16:35:03

“Hey CF I think you’ve misunderstood. Repaying your loan to me IS a bill, not something that comes out of the pot after the bills. And I need the cash back as we agreed.”

Carnivaloftheanimals Thu 10-Jan-19 16:35:25

That is incredibly cheeky. If she is having difficulty finding the £100 a month then she should speak to you about it and come to some arrangement going forward.
But suggesting she buy you the odd meal or drink here and there (which friends will often do for each other anyway) is absolutely ridiculous. I would be furious. You need to put your foot down and tell her that she needs to start paying you a regular sum until the loan has been paid back.

HollowTalk Thu 10-Jan-19 16:35:26

You know that you should have insisted on her setting up a standing order before you gave her a penny.

Bluetrews25 Thu 10-Jan-19 16:35:55

Ask her if she would have accepted the loan in the form of food and drink in the first place?

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