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AIBU?

To feel sad for the guy in the paternity fraud case

752 replies

moanymoaner · 10/01/2019 12:19

Was watching it on GMB this morning and he was teary , I feel sad for him . I can't imagine finding out when the kids were older that they weren't yours! I get that the boys are standing with their mum but surely they must be feeling cross with her lies :( all such a mess for them :(

OP posts:

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MyDcAreMarvel · 10/01/2019 12:22

Not really I feel sorry for the boys , being a parent is far more than biology. Horrible greedy man.

RUOKHUN · 10/01/2019 12:24

While I feel sympathy for him, he’s essential sent the kids a message saying that blood does matter and I want my money back for raising you even though I apparently still love you like sons.

He has every right to be angry but so do they now he’s turned it into a money dispute.

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 10/01/2019 12:26

The DM has an interview with one of he younger sons- they seem to have dealt with it well.

He mentions that he’d thought of his “dad” as a very manipulative man for a long time, which kind of makes sense.

Having said that, the comments about “being a dad is more than biology” is pure nonsense when that “dad” has been lied to for more than a decade and deceived into taking responsibility for someone else’s child rather than making that decision for himself.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 10/01/2019 12:27

Why shouldn’t he turn it in to a money dispute? She was happy to take it in the first place knowing her deceit.

Babycham1979 · 10/01/2019 12:29

I think this is a form of assault, and the mother of the children should be treated accordingly.

ChariotsofFish · 10/01/2019 12:29

Georgie, because the kids having one shitty parent isn’t a great reason for the other parent to be shitty too. Bad luck for the kids having two self centred parents.

Madders45 · 10/01/2019 12:30

He raised kids who he loved and who loved him. That makes him their father regardless of whether or not they’re related. He’s the only father they’ve ever known.

Yes, I can understand shock and anger at finding out he’s not their biological father, but I cannot justify his seeking financial reparation.

What message does that send to them? You weren’t made by my sperm so I want back every penny I spent on you?

Madders45 · 10/01/2019 12:30

I don’t blame the kids for going NC with him.

Doyoumind · 10/01/2019 12:32

Getting publicity around the case is to punish his exw. It drags his sons into it, proving he doesn't give a shit about them despite being their dad for years, as if the whole case didn't send them that message anyway.

Fatasfook · 10/01/2019 12:33

Who is he trying to get the money from? The kids or the mum? She has swindled him so I can see why he would want to sting her. If it’s The kids though, he’s an arsehole

Casmama · 10/01/2019 12:34

I didn't see him on tv but read the interview in the paper. I am sympathetic and feel very sorry for him but to splash this story all over the papers does not tally up with loving his "sons" I think that invasion of their privacy is unforgivable.

The mothers behaviour has been appalling too and I feel very sorry for the boys

Nanny0gg · 10/01/2019 12:35

She had a very good divorce settlement. We're not talking the maintenance here, it's the settlement he wants a proportion of back. Why should he pay for a woman who didn't bear his children?

Geminijes · 10/01/2019 12:36

The boys not speaking to him but still talking to their Mum, have, in my opinion, condoned her deceit and lies but condemned their 'father'. Guess they are very much like their mother.

DarkStorm · 10/01/2019 12:39

Why did he feel the need to make it public? What does he gain from it?

Trying to make his ex look bad in front of thousands of people maybe?

Did he consider how the boys might feel with all this being made public?

None of the boys have had a relationship with him for years, yet they are all close to their mother. Says it all really.

m0vinf0rward · 10/01/2019 12:42

This is why DNA testing should be mandatory for all births and paternity fraud a crime punishable by prison. If DNA testing was introduced there would be no fraud, reduced cases of people shirking their responsibility and most likely less affairs. The mother in this case needs to serve time. She's committed the worst type of fraud on both her ex and her kids and she has benefited financially. If he'd known that she'd had kids by another man he may have walked away earlier and thus the divorce settlement would likely have been less. She did what she did for money, nothing less, and now needs to be fully accountable. Not saying he's handled this in the best way but estimates from the US put paterny fraud at roughly 20+% of all births, so this is not a random thing but going on all the time. It needs to stop and mandatory DNA testing is the only way.

Doyoumind · 10/01/2019 12:43

He had the chance to be a father to the boys for 20 odd years. He might never have been a father at all otherwise. She was deceitful but he should at least have been grateful he had a family instead of throwing at all away in a
vengeful rage.

Doyoumind · 10/01/2019 12:45

🙄 - that's for m0vinf0rward.

SoupDragon · 10/01/2019 12:47

She was deceitful but he should at least have been grateful he had a family...

WTF?! He should be grateful for being lied to? Seriously? If he hadn't been lied to perhaps he could have had a biological family rather than a wife who (I presume) was unfaithful and lied to him about the children.

Doyoumind · 10/01/2019 12:49

He couldn't have had a biological family. He's infertile.

DioneTheDiabolist · 10/01/2019 12:49

Or....he could have had a family where the children were his. That kind of deceit is unforgivable.

Nanny0gg · 10/01/2019 12:50

That's the point though, he couldn't have a biological family. He is infertile.

But I don't think he deliberately made it public. He took her to court and the press found out. They're always looking for 'juicy' stories. (Yes, DM, I mean you)

Pachyderm1 · 10/01/2019 12:50

This is a shitty situation where for him to obtain any kind of justice / recompense from his vile and deceitful wife, he will end up hurting his sons (and they are his in a moral and familial sense, even if not biological). For the sake of the kids I wish he could be the bigger man and not pursue any money, but I’m not going to judge him for failing that objective when it’s so hard. I feel so sorry for those boys though. Their mother had no right to put them through that and risk their happiness so much. She is a truly selfish and reprehensible woman.

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Figgygal · 10/01/2019 12:50

are there any links to reports on this? I have only heard of it briefly via mn and interested in the background.

Doyoumind · 10/01/2019 12:51

He's done press and media interviews and given them photos. That isn't about the press finding out.

SylvanianFamiliesNurserySet · 10/01/2019 12:53

This is why DNA testing should be mandatory for all births

What a waste of everyone’s time that would have been in my children’s case(s).

They did have the heel prick though to rule out CF.

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