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Fiver parties

(126 Posts)
Ninjafox Mon 07-Jan-19 23:21:49

I've just been reading about fiver parties and wondered what other people think?

Part if me thinks, yeah I'd stick a fiver in a card rather than the mission to find a reasonably priced gift that I'm not sure birthday child wants. BUT the Brit in me is recoiling in horror at the idea of asking other parents to give my child cash in order to reimburse the big gift I'd bought my child.Thoughts?

RosemarysBabyDress Tue 08-Jan-19 07:06:10

to avoid the drama of leaving a few kids out! Some parties invite 5 or 6 kids, but when you rent a hall and some kind of entertainer, bouncy castle or other for example, it costs the same to have 20 or 30 kids. People get really offended if you don't invite their little darling, so sometimes it's just easier to invite the whole class than stick to 20 and leave 5 or 10 out.

TheBigBangRocks Tue 08-Jan-19 07:25:35

Never heard of it.

The DC like to choose their own gift for friends and we don't gift cash anyway as to open to the parents spending as though it's their money.

dontknowwhattodo80 Tue 08-Jan-19 07:29:31

@Redskyandrainbows67 , maybe Pinkfizzz can't afford £5 every time? It is awkward to be put in that position and not necessarily about organisation!

UntilTheVeryEnd Tue 08-Jan-19 07:36:35

I wouldn’t ask or put it on the invite but would certainly prefer £5 in the card than a bunch of cheap presents... I would put the money in my kids banks. They have sooo much stuff already. My daughter would be delighted with the notes to be fair as she would be like “look how many LOL dolls I can buy now mummy” confused

noenergy Tue 08-Jan-19 07:47:56

It had been quite common at DD school to put £5 or £10 in a card at DDs school and I think it's easier as don't need to go present shopping and the birthday child gets to buy something of their choice. Not end up with lots of presents.

But I have never heard it being out towards the main present given by parents on the birthday, that sounds a bit off to me.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole Tue 08-Jan-19 08:01:59

I’d love it as a donor parent, but would worry about parents with tight budgets. The pound a year version could be difficult for some families so needs to be handled with grace.

Wheresthebeach Tue 08-Jan-19 08:10:12

Sounds a great idea to me. DD well past that age now but would have loved it. So much less crap. We still have bags of DSS's Bionicals in the loft!

Yura Tue 08-Jan-19 08:11:13

“no gifts please” is the norm here. love it!

Propertywoe Tue 08-Jan-19 08:30:25

It happened in my DD year at primary after one parent did it (was not given a name though). One of the problems was parents using a tier system to decide the amount. £5 for invite but a £10 for close friends. There was some friction on differing amounts between close friends usually determined by the parents.

SilverySurfer Tue 08-Jan-19 08:45:46

I have no idea about children's parties but I think it's a bit off to ask for money and then the parent grabs the cash to pay for the gift they bought for their own child hmm

Whether guests give a gift or money, surely both should be given to the child?

Bloominglovely Tue 08-Jan-19 09:59:03

I suppose the £5 is given ingoid faith that the money will go to the child. Before this thread it didn’t dawn on me that the kid wouldn’t get it. If the parents use it to buy their child an even bigger gift than they were going to buy. I personally think the child will get better use out of that than receiving multiples of the same plastic tat. I think a lot of the plastic tat is regifted to the next class party so the child may not get it anyway.

EnglishRose13 Tue 08-Jan-19 10:22:15

I wouldn't ask for it, but I would prefer it!

I had someone direct me to their Amazon wishlist for the last birthday party my son was invited to. I found that a bit odd.

Bloominglovely Tue 08-Jan-19 10:34:18

The Amazon gift list is in the same bad taste as wedding registry lists.

RosemarysBabyDress Tue 08-Jan-19 10:53:59

The Amazon gift list is in the same bad taste as wedding registry lists.

What's wrong with wedding registry list now?

Some guests prefer to buy a gift than giving cash to the couple, it feels like giving a tip, it's much nicer to remember who gave what - but from the list so they get what they need and want.

Birdsgottafly Tue 08-Jan-19 11:03:44

I think it's a brilliant idea. If you can't afford £5, a £1 box of malteasers always goes down well.

We should be all moving away from presents, especially unless we know what's wanted. It's still a waste of plastic if it goes to the charity shop.

I wish people would respect it when you say you don't want cards. A home made one by a child is fine, if that's what the child wants to do.

Likewise the plastic rubbish in party bags/stockings.

EdtheBear Tue 08-Jan-19 11:15:48

Amazon gift list for a kids party shock

Wedding gift lists i totally get. Makes life easy, esp as very few couples are starting from scratch, most have either lived alone or together so have bundles of house things.
We said 'no engagement gifts please' we ended up with a bundles of white towels, 10 years on we are still using up the 2 lots of towels we already owned, never mind the new white ones.

ASundayWellSpent Tue 08-Jan-19 11:18:10

At my daughters school each parent takes a turn being in charge of the collection of a fiver from each classmate and buying a present from everyone. It works so well! The birthday parent is always asked what their child would like and it ofter amounts to enough for a really big gift (think the most expensive huge playmobil sets, a scooter etc), much better than lots of tat which would cost the same!

PinkFizzz Wed 09-Jan-19 18:55:11

@Redskyandrainbows67

Really? It's nothing to do with not being organised, we're on very low incomes and life is difficult as it is. Having to find an extra £5 with a couple of weeks notice can be impossible sometimes.

I'm well aware it's not mandatory but nobody likes the world to know their financial struggles, its bad enough knowing your gift looks cheap without feeling even worse about having to explain that you can't afford to give someone £5 they're asking you for.

Wisen up ffs.

Wearywithteens Wed 09-Jan-19 19:03:26

I would’ve happily stuck a fiver a card until I was ASKED for one in the invite. I realise that it is pragmatic but I’m just allergic to presumption and grabby-ness.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 09-Jan-19 19:08:41

I think it’s a great idea.

ExFury Wed 09-Jan-19 19:13:22

That's another thing I don't understand. Why have an "all class" party? 30 children that's madness

Because old fashioned party games like pass the parcel and musical statues are much more fun with more kids.

Plus it takes the angst out of who can be invited and who can’t. All the class, the few friends from Rainbows/Brownies who go to different schools and any cousins or children of parents friends.

Dieu Wed 09-Jan-19 19:13:26

It's a bloody dreadful idea and very grabby.
If you want to buy your child a bike or big present, you save up and buy it yourself. You don't dictate that others chip in.
Next it'll be 'birthday lists' on Argos or John Lewis!
Just awful.

Drum2018 Wed 09-Jan-19 19:16:05

Our class invites say no more than a fiver and we also join parties. If a child gave a card with 2 quid in it I would be happier than have Ds get a toy he'd have no heed in. I think it's a great idea as kids have enough stuff without adding another 10-15 gifts, possibly duplicate of what they have already.

Dieu Wed 09-Jan-19 19:19:22

And it's so joyless to say 'no cards, or presents'.

Yura Wed 09-Jan-19 19:21:17

I much prefer the “no gifts please” that is the rule at y son’s school. however, if people really want gifts i prefef to know what - otherwise its just buying for landfill... so would be happy for a wishlist

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