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Does being in a hospital exempt you from having manners?

(80 Posts)
PookieDo Mon 07-Jan-19 12:46:09

I spent the AM in a hospital department (by myself, no friend or partner to accompany me). Last week I was there for 6 hours and it was also very busy but today I was really fucked off by the behaviour of the people in the waiting area. Firstly I completely appreciate people can suffer from hidden disabilities but bearing in mind the majority of people arrived in 2’s or 3’s, not all of the people in attendance were the patients waiting for treatment.

I arrived early and it was fairly quiet at that point so took a seat. Over the next 2 hours it got very very busy where there was no seating at all.

An elderly couple came to check in at the desk so I indicated to the lady that she could sit in my seat and I would stand. At this point a man I presume to be her son came out from behind her (in his 50’s) and dived into my seat with the reflexes of a cat. As he was now sitting down before his mother, another patient had to get up to make room for the elderly mother next to him. Annoying Son then proceeded to very obviously leer and peer at all the patients being treated in the main clinic room including someone being wheeled out on a trolley, and discuss them all with his mother. confused angry The elderly father stood in the corridor for over 1.5 hours.

I then watched even more elderly or visibly ill (on oxygen!) patients have to stand whilst everyone else completely ignored them. This got to the point where the receptionist stood up to demand in a stern voice that only patients should be sitting and visitors should stand. At which point only 2 people begrudgingly stood up!

Are people not embarrassed of themselves?? I think there was something similar about this on here last week - well this behaviour is alive and kicking i can reassure you!

Sicario Mon 07-Jan-19 13:01:37

Unbelievable, isn't it? Had another classic in the waiting room (with my elderly mother) when I asked a right drongo of a man to turn the sound off on phone he had given to his kid to play with. The same ring tone going off over and over again. This bloke was wearing vest and picking his toes and looked at me like he wanted to punch my lights out. Nobody dared say anything.

As children we would automatically stand up on the bus if anyone older than us got on. Or was that just me?

Bluelady Mon 07-Jan-19 13:06:04

It's crazy that it's necessary but those waiting rooms should have signs that patients have priority for seating and staff should enforce it. OP, I'd have told the son that I didn't stand for him and if his mum didn't get the seat I'd have it back again.

PookieDo Mon 07-Jan-19 13:06:21

One of the women waiting was doing that thing when you snort your snot up your nose down into your throat. Hoiking or whatever it is footballers do. Thankfully she wasn’t spitting it out but it was FUCKING GROSS

PookieDo Mon 07-Jan-19 13:07:48

It did have signs, but no one pays attention to them

Foxyscarf Mon 07-Jan-19 13:11:32

Some people are just creatures.

HazelBite Mon 07-Jan-19 13:12:40

I remember attending a "knee/hip" clinic at our local hospital. I had to stand as there were no seats when those accompanying patients were sitting down. There were people standing who were on crutches and with walking sticks!

RoomOfRequirement Mon 07-Jan-19 13:15:31


I'm sure the staff have more important things to do than check if a person in a chair is a visitor or patient. The solution here isn't to add even more workload onto the staff, it's for people to not be entitled and self-centered.

huuskymam Mon 07-Jan-19 13:21:12

Same thing in the maternity hospital. Going in for regular check up and the place was hectic. Pregnant women standing at the wall because partners of others couldn't be arsed moving. An amazing nurse stood in the middle of the room and shouted for them to have a bit of respect and let the pregnant women sit, told them their partners would be okay without them as they'd be a few feet away at a wall. It's ridiculous that this is needed.

PookieDo Mon 07-Jan-19 13:22:09

No way did the staff have time to sort this out for the patients, they were so busy

Bluelady Mon 07-Jan-19 13:23:40

They don't have to check individual occupiers of seats. They need to shout at the waiting room and tell non patients to stand every now and then. Like they apparently do in maternity waiting rooms.

Topseyt Mon 07-Jan-19 13:25:21

It is disgraceful behaviour. It shouldn't need explained to people, but it seems it does.

When I broke an arm badly three years ago my DH often drove me to the Fracture Clinic for my aftercare. He only took a waiting room seat if there were plenty free, not if it was rammed and overrunning. Otherwise he would stand, potter about, go to the café etc. He wouldn't knowingly take a seat from those needing it more.

MadameButterface Mon 07-Jan-19 13:25:32

1) this just in: people are awful

2) yes they should offer

3) more likely they won't

it's the same on public transport. anyone needing a seat needs to loudly declare that they need a seat. no they shouldn't have to but see point 1 above

PookieDo Mon 07-Jan-19 13:26:51


I mean they did shout at everyone to do this, but didn’t get much of a response!

Sparklesocks Mon 07-Jan-19 13:27:51

People are so entitled sometimes, it’s amazing. You get it enough in general public spaces but you think there would at least be leeway in hospitals with sick people! But no…

E20mom Mon 07-Jan-19 13:27:52

Always like this in the antenatal clinic too. Loads of guys sitting down with heavily pregnant women standing for hours

Bluelady Mon 07-Jan-19 13:33:44

I know I'm a bloody dinosaur but when I was pregnant you never saw a man in an antenatal waiting room, everyone went on their own.

redyawn Mon 07-Jan-19 13:37:35

Terrible....... I was at London Bridge Station with a broken leg. Virtually No trains were leaving from the station so there was utter chaos and nobody was being let in the platforms. I asked the staff to let me on a platform because it was very unsafe for me to be caught up in the mele. As the staff were letting me through, I got jeered at by the crowd because they thought it was unfair!

Jenny17 Mon 07-Jan-19 13:37:49

Some people genuinely don't think of this unless they are told. If I saw this behaviour I would encourage people to do the right thing. Not saying anything ever won't solve the problem.

ravenscaw Mon 07-Jan-19 13:39:12

I was at the hospital with DD last week and witnessed this behaviour as well. I too stood up for an elderly woman and a young man dived into the seat then laughed and said "beat you" to his heavily pregnant partner. I told him I wasn't leaving but offering the seat to someone and shamed him into moving. He then stood next to the seat hovering above it and 'accidentally' split water on the elderly woman. I made a complaint about him at that point and he left - shouting at his partner about 'fucking bitches on my back' and waving at me (middle aged woman visiting with my partially sighted DD, a woman in her 80s and the hard working nurses.

Some people are just revolting.

Greensleeves Mon 07-Jan-19 13:40:14

To be fair, if waiting times are several hours then more seating should be provided. I have mobility problems and standing is very painful for me. So if I take one of my sons to A&E I simply can't just stand for four hours. I've sat on the floor before and been snarled at for being in people's way. It's utterly miserable. And I'll never forget the 8 hours I spent standing in a concrete corridor with my dad on a trolley suffering from stage 4 cancer and sepsis, surrounded by other patients on trolleys and their relatives. No seats at all, no room to sit on the floor, no access to any other part of the hospital (cafes, vending machines etc) and two nurses trying to cope with everyone.

Fluffymule Mon 07-Jan-19 13:47:10

I also see this every week at the chemo day unit I attend for treatment.

Waiting area space very limited and often chemo patients having to stand for long periods of time whilst the accompanying family/friends of other patients sit.

It also infuriates me when these family/friends have heavy colds or similar. Coughing and sneezing in such a small area, touching communal things like the water dispenser without washing hands they have coughed or sneezed into, when surrounded by patients who are mostly severely immunocompromised and for whom catching their colds could have serious consequences.

Pinnacular Mon 07-Jan-19 13:53:11

It's awful behaviour and makes me despair. I was once on a bus, already standing as there were no seats. A man got on with one leg (above knee amputation) and crutches. Nobody moved. Trying to shame people into moving I said, "Are you OK? I'd offer you a seat if I had one." Many looked embarrassed, no one moved. "Could someone give up their seat please?" I asked. No one moved again. I started chatting with the man and someone stood up and offered his seat. But it was a man, in shorts, with a prosthetic leg! Man with crutches sat down looking grateful and horrified and the three of us chatted briefly about the awful situation. Whilst everyone looked embarrassed but still didn't move. Just horrendous.

HollowTalk Mon 07-Jan-19 13:55:33

When I read this sort of thing I just get so angry. Who the hell are these people? And then when I read about men being able to stay overnight on post-natal wards (and I'm not talking about in exceptional circumstances) I want to explode.

abacucat Mon 07-Jan-19 13:58:27

Awful, but at least you are not married to the awful men who sit while pregnant partners stand. It does not bode well at all.

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