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To say I’ve won! I’ve actually won!

(805 Posts)
YouWinAgain Mon 07-Jan-19 11:41:25

Some of you will recognise my story. I hope you do, and yes I am that poster.

In March 2018 I was attacked and had threats made against my life by my husband in front of our DD aged 2 at the time.

I left him and he was a s**t. He and his family made my life hell threatening to take DD out of her Nursery, pinning me against shelves in supermarkets, accusing me of alienating DD from her paternal family, and basically being made to feel like the perpetrator instead of the victim. He also left me and DD living at my mums for 10 days just because he could. He left me with GAD, PTSD and Social Anxiety.

In November he took me to court for full residency of DD, now aged 3, accusing me of emotionally abusing her and not being able to put her first.

It was a rough time for me; I almost gave up at times, felt like everything was against me including the Social Worker who seemed to swap sides after it went to court. She was also at times suggesting 50/50 contact.

I got a SHL (S**t Hot Lawyer) and was still worried, panicking and had to be grounded several times by her and posters on MN thank you all. I had home condition problems when we first split but did my upmost to work with everyone and get myself back on track. At times I felt like it was hopeless even when he didn’t turn up to her appointments or Nativity Play.

DRA hearing is 2 weeks today. Had the final meeting with the SW this morning to give me the S7, I was nervous as I was expecting her to be on ExHs side.

There’s two bits of good news:

1) SW was recommending that DD stay living with me, and contact with ExH be once a week for 2 hours, and then every other Sunday for 5 hours going up to full day contact (9am-5pm) in 3 months’ time and then overnight just Saturday every other weekend from September when DD starts school. SW suggested the weekly contact cannot clash with her appointments or social occasions!

But 2) 2 weeks before the DRA, ExH has decided to drop the residency and just apply for consistent regular contact with DD. He hasn’t asked for a specific pattern so I think my SHL can negotiate.

I am crying with happiness. We still have to go to court on 21st but I’m not worried anymore, they aren’t taking my DD off me. Looks like SW was on DDs side and neither mine or ExHs.

Sometimes it pays to persevere. I’ve won haven’t I? I’ve actually won!

PoliticalBiscuit Mon 07-Jan-19 12:20:01

Awesome news!! Well done, that's a lot of work to get it to where you need it. Sounds like you'll be able to move forwards now flowers

CrookedMe Mon 07-Jan-19 12:22:37

Jesus, maybe read things properly before resorting to such scummy childish name-calling. angry

Well done OP! flowers

diddl Mon 07-Jan-19 12:22:51

Arrogant piece of trash??

Good lord!

NameChanger22 Mon 07-Jan-19 12:22:54

Congratulations. That's wonderful.

I also went through hell with my ex and came out the other side. I think you find out a lot about people when you go through something like this, and who you can trust.

All the best for your future.

Attackofthepoonami Mon 07-Jan-19 12:22:55

I remember your thread and all the shit you went through. Congratulations you've done so well! flowers

What a wonderful start to the new year for you and mini

Magentaorwagenta Mon 07-Jan-19 12:23:29

Amazing. Champagne and hugs all round. Well done xxx

DubBeGoodToMe Mon 07-Jan-19 12:24:09

(Am trying not to giggle at the thought of a Social Worker insisting that the non-resident parents only see their children on days when the Social Worker isn't going out for drinks or meeting a friend for lunch wink )

YouWinAgain Mon 07-Jan-19 12:25:10

Am trying not to giggle at the thought of a Social Worker insisting that the non-resident parents only see their children on days when the Social Worker isn't going out for drinks or meeting a friend for lunch wink


Suziepoozie Mon 07-Jan-19 12:25:59

I was wondering how you were doing yesterday actually! So glad to hear things are looking brighter for you.

DevaDiva Mon 07-Jan-19 12:29:27

I'm so so pleased for you, you were so down and disheartened on your last thread. So glad that there is light at the end of the tunnel for you and your DD.

Giraffetower Mon 07-Jan-19 12:30:44


Poshjock Mon 07-Jan-19 12:33:06

I was just wondering how you were doing. I remembered your court date was soon. I thought I’d miss updates when the other thread got full (I followed both of them all the way). And here you are named changed and I found you anyway. I like the reference in your thread title. We all knew you would!
Big hugs to Mini. She’s a credit to you and no doubt her sunny personality won everyone over.
Now go and look in the mirror and tell yourself “I am strong, I am capable, I am a winner”. Believe it, it’s true.

Gomyownway Mon 07-Jan-19 12:33:14

People just love to have a pop at social workers, even when they have zero reading comprehension.

Congrats OP. You’ve done amazing.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel Mon 07-Jan-19 12:33:17

I remember you and followed your last thread, so pleased for you and your DD. Onwards and upwards flowers

ohfourfoxache Mon 07-Jan-19 12:35:48

Oh my God! I remember you - your story stuck with me sad

I’m so, so happy for you, what a brilliant outcome. I can only imagine your relief.

Wishing you and your beautiful dd the most wonderful of times ahead x

Branleuse Mon 07-Jan-19 12:38:53

Well done. Thats brilliant news

Ariela Mon 07-Jan-19 12:42:21

Excellent news, I remember your previous posts.

AdoraBell Mon 07-Jan-19 12:52:25

Well done 👍

Blobby10 Mon 07-Jan-19 12:52:51

I remember you too and was looking around the boards for the updated thread only yesterday!

So very happy for you and your gorgeous daughter - after everything you've been through over the past 10 months this latest news must be like a huge weight off your back.

With lots of love and best wishes for a fun filled future for both of you flowers

wallpeppering Mon 07-Jan-19 12:57:16

Excellent news! I remember your threads and what a terrible experience this has been. All the best for you and your little girl. smile star

ILoveChristmasLights Mon 07-Jan-19 12:57:31

That’s fabulous, fabulous news!!!

Totally made up for you & DD 💐🍫

Stephisaur Mon 07-Jan-19 13:01:06

I think I remember your other thread.

That’s fantastic news, I’m so pleased for you and DD


Oddsocksandmeatballs Mon 07-Jan-19 13:06:19

I think I know who you are, that is amazing news flowers.

kaitlinktm Mon 07-Jan-19 13:08:25

I was wondering what had happened and worried that we hadn't heard any further from you OP.

You see - like we told you - you had nothing to worry about as you are a brilliant parent to your daughter. Long may you and she and your Mum and Grandad - and Madam Fussy Bottom the cat all prosper! grin

Bluetrews25 Mon 07-Jan-19 13:15:52

Great news!
Now make sure your DD has a list of playdates and parties as long as your arm......wink....or is that not 'in the spirit'?

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