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to be annoyed with MIL for playing "pretend smacking"

(5 Posts)
uberalice Wed 27-Jun-07 22:20:41

My MIL came round today and was spending some time with DS1 (3) in the living room whilst I was busy in the kitchen. When I went back she announced proudly that they'd been playing a new game. "Smacking," piped up DS1 excitedly. "Pretend smacking," explained MIL who then proceeded to demonstrate by smacking his bottom. Not hard, and all in a playful manner, but it was smacking nonetheless.

Now forgive me for being pedantic, but pretending in my book means ^not actually doing the thing^. If you pretend to touch something, you don't actually touch it. If you pretend to eat something, it doesn't actually get eaten. This is what DS1 had learned too. So when did pretend smacking turn into real smacking? Later that day DS1 started "pretending" to smack me - after all the efforts I've made to teach him that smacking isn't acceptable.

She means well, but sometimes she really doesn't have a clue.

lucyellensmum Wed 27-Jun-07 22:27:40

thjis is a difficult one, i do play smack my DD, well her bum is so cute and she has been known to stick her bum in the air so i can "kick her up the bum" - However my DD (22m) knows the difference between this and unacceptable "smacking", what i mean is, she has smacked me in anger and had a habit of kicking me whilst changing her bum (hard) and she knows that she must not do this. She occasionally slips up though because my way of dealing with this was to say "oh, poor mummy" and pretend to cry, then she would do her little uber cute smile whilst shrugging shoulders and give me a kiss, so sometimes she would smack me just to do this.

Saying all that, i don't think you are being unreasonable as we all make our own decisions about parenting choices and mothers and in laws should respect them.

uberalice Wed 27-Jun-07 22:32:02

I don't have a problem with playful smacking per se - he does a lot or rough and tumble with his dad and that's fine. But I'm not comfortable with the fact that she called it "pretend smacking" when it clearly wasn't pretending.

hk78 Thu 05-Jul-07 23:50:50


my MIL and FIL like to play pretend fighting with DD's, it's called "i'll give you some fist"

wait, it gets better........

when they get really into it (MIL/FIL are always much more excited than DD's who usually go and put the telly on after about a minute)

they go "i'll give you some fist....i'll fist ya!" oh my god, don't say that!

they have no idea that this has another meaning, they have led a blinkered life (that's code for 'they are ignorant')

i have told them not to say or do this, imagine DD's copying this 'hilarious' game and saying that in front of any normal person, omg! obviously they ignore this request when i am not there i should think.

what is it with people of their generation, they are fixated with this kind of "game"

Dumbass Fri 06-Jul-07 21:14:17

hk78 I just nearly peed myself reading that. Your inlaws sounds as ignorant and strange as mine.

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