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AIBU?

...to be left out of a boyfriends Christmas event

343 replies

Leftbehind40 · 19/12/2018 10:35

Just that! Boyfriend of six months .. see him once or twice a week as we live half hour away from eachother. Stay over now and again. See him when suits him really as he has busy life but me, not so much. Anyway , he had big gathering of friends .. an annual tradition , at the weekend . All friends and their girlfriends there.. but not me ! I thought it may be a good occasion for me to be introduced to them and get to know them but alas, I was home alone . He said it because it was an hour away and they were staying
Overnight ... but I could have driven separately and would have loved to have gone to meet them. I am beginning to think I am
Not a priority. I was at home alone again over the weekend with nothing to do or nobody to meet while he was with his family, literally ten minutes down the road. He needs a lot of space clearly . We did spend a nice evening late last week( last minute atrangementby him) and he stayed overnight but left straight after breakfast. AIBU???

OP posts:
kingscote · 19/12/2018 10:38

It sounds like he's just using you. I think you should reconsider this relationship.

ThunderInMyHeart · 19/12/2018 10:40

Oh, fuck that for a lark. I'd bin him off. He's not giving equally and doesn't seem to be on the same page. Cut your losses. He sounds like a prize dud.

user1486915549 · 19/12/2018 10:41

I think he was probably with his girlfriend at the annual gathering.
Sorry leftbehind, I think it’s time to decide if you are getting enough out of this relationship.

AngelsOnTheMoon · 19/12/2018 10:49

I don't think the issue is him not inviting you. I think it's that you've made mention of you having nobody to see or anything to do again because you're not invited to this gathering.

If your social life was a bit fuller and you had plans of your own would this seem like such a big deal? Seeing him a couple of times a week seems a normal amount for a relatively new relationship. An invitation would have been nice, I do get that though.

After only 6 months I wouldn't want to be hanging all my Christmas plans on whether my boyfriend is free or not. Do you have friends or family you could make plans with?

PickledChutney · 19/12/2018 10:51

Sounds like he isn’t that interested in you. Maybe hea got another girlfriend or he just wants you for the sex. Certainly doesn’t sound like a real relationship to me.

PixieCutRegret · 19/12/2018 10:53

So sorry OP, but it doesn't sound like you are his only girlfriend Sad you deserve much better

TokyoSushi · 19/12/2018 10:53

This isn't the right relationship for you lovely.

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 19/12/2018 10:54

It sounds like you want a relationship and he wants a fuck buddy at his convenience. I wouldn't waste any more time on him.

tissuesosoft · 19/12/2018 10:55

Sounds like he’s married or in another relationship

ShotsFired · 19/12/2018 10:56

Sounds like he’s married or in another relationship

yep.

KC225 · 19/12/2018 10:57

At six months in, twice a week, staying over I don't think its unreasonable to be introduced to his friendship group - its not like signing a pre nup. I would have been hurt by this. I am.sorry to say this, but you are probably back burner woman. Happy to see you on his terms in his own but keeping you away from.major events and family in order to appear available should the opportunity occur. He is not as invested as you. If you were really upset by this and it was a genuine mistake, Christmas.time is an ideal.time to arrange a few drinks to meet some of his friends. Has he suggested that? No? New Year, new boyfriend.

ambereeree · 19/12/2018 10:59

I feel sad reading this. Bin him off he's using you. How old are you and the boyfriend?

Merryoldgoat · 19/12/2018 11:03

He’s not that keen.

Our first Christmas together my DH and I had been together 5 months.

He invited me to his family party on Christmas Eve which was lovely, to his family gathering on Christmas Day (I declined), and I met his entire family on Boxing Day.

I appreciate everyone is different, but not getting an invite to meet his FRIENDS at a PARTY is a clear indication he’s not that into you or he has a girlfriend.

Thingsdogetbetter · 19/12/2018 11:03

Bloody hell. I disagree with everyone except Angelsonthemoon. Mega disagree!

It's only been six months. You're dating, not long term partners. Expecting to be integrated into his traditional friendship group and family gatherings at this stage is full on!

The fact you didn't have plans is down to you, not him. Stop sitting around and missing out on fun with your own friends in the off chance he wants to turn up at the last minute. Your lack of a busy social life is down to you. Do something about that, then see if you care so much. If he is using you as a stop gap when he doesn't have anything else to do will become clear if you are less available and less 'grateful' for his attention.

If it's the same next year, then yes you have a reason to be concerned. But after six months, nope!

LucheroTena · 19/12/2018 11:04

He’s not that into you, is he? I’d bin him and look into making your own life a bit more active.

Merryoldgoat · 19/12/2018 11:05

After only 6 months I wouldn't want to be hanging all my Christmas plans on whether my boyfriend is free or not. Do you have friends or family you could make plans with?

OP is clearly not saying that - her established boyfriend had a big party with friends and didn’t invite her. You’d be odd not to be hurt by such an obvious snub.

furrysheep · 19/12/2018 11:05

Sounds like there was someone else at the party who he was interested in and so didn't want you there.
He sounds like a n*b and you don't sound like you are getting want you want out of the relationship. Everything is on his terms it seems. I think LTB, sorry OP.

ethelfleda · 19/12/2018 11:07

I think you can do better Flowers

BerylStreep · 19/12/2018 11:08

He's using you as a booty call. He doesn't think of you as his gf I'm afraid.

PineappleTart · 19/12/2018 11:08

It's only been six months, I think you sound a bit needy to be honest

SierraSmythe · 19/12/2018 11:09

After only 6 months I wouldn't want to be hanging all my Christmas plans on whether my boyfriend is free or not. Do you have friends or family you could make plans with?

I have a great social life but would still expect to be invited and would be very disappointed.

OP, this man is not your future DH. Your future DH will be excited to show you off to his friends and family. Reassess what you are getting from this relationship.

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 19/12/2018 11:10

He may or may not have another girlfriend, I wouldn't necessarily assume that's the case. However, I think it's odd that you weren't invited to the Christmas party meet up, and I think that does suggest that he is more important to you than you are to him. I suggest you widen your own social circle and start being slightly less available.

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SummerStrong · 19/12/2018 11:12

I think he sees you as a shag buddy, and not girlfriend material.

Bin him off you can do better.

G5000 · 19/12/2018 11:13

6 months, i would absolutely expect to be invited to a party with his friends. Why on earth not - unless he does not want the friends to know about you. At this stage, you should be all over each other and looking for opportunities to spend time together. I have to agree that he's not that into you and/or you're not the only girlfriend.

Also, find some friends so you don't have to sit home alone. Most people don't want a partner who has no other social life whatsoever.

championquartz · 19/12/2018 11:13

Sorry OP: he's just not that into you. Flowers
He might well be married/attached.

FWIW, I wouldn't let him make 'last minute arrangements' to see you either. Bin him. You can do better.

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