BIL has always been very secretive about his life. Who knows why!! Eg. His own brother ( my husband) hasn't been told where he lives or works. By digging on internet I know and told hubby where he works but no idea where he lives. His mother doesn't know where he lives. Several years ago ( about 10 years ago) he was a bit drunk at a wedding and he told me he had a girlfriend who had dark hair like mine. This was a major break of silence for him. Thought nothing of it as never met anyone after. Anyway in the past month the FIL has become seriously ill ( now sadly deceased) and to the shock of all BIL brought his girlfriend to the deathbed. MIL is incensed on top of being severely distressed. She has never liked strangers in her house and is quite shy and to have this foisted on her now is very distressing. Hubby and I find it weird that he would introduce girlfriend of 10 years ( and it is the same one he referred to) at such a time and indeed why she would agree to it. It now turns out FIL had met her once or twice before when he went to fix plumbing in their house but said nothing to MIL as BIL demanded. BIL is very controlling of parents. BIL has also positioned himself as his parents "carers", shutting out hubby and I , even though we live next door and actually are the day to day help. He's tied to mummy's apron strings and quite frankly would like to be the only son. I find the whole thing bizarre. What dark secret has kept him from revealing girlfriend all these years and why has she gone along with it. He is known to her family so no problem in that direction. I used to think he was gay or girlfriend was non white and that was reason for silence to protect parents ( don't judge... Irish Catholic.. different generation) but that's not the case. This is causing MIL all kinds of upset as it's just been sprung on her at this terrible time and she feels bereft. I think she is now wondering what will happen as she probably thought, given BIL's behaviour, that if anything happened, he'd move back home. Clearly by introducing girlfriend that isn't happening and he's just sent a message to that effect. AIBU to think he's been a total sh*t?
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AIBU to think it's not OK for BIL to introduce girlfriend to family on his father's deathbed.
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Katzia · 17/12/2018 02:24
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