MIL committed benefit fraud and it’s still affecting us. Please read to understand.

[JKCR2017]

Hi all, this isn’t a simple one.

I’ve been with OH 6 years. When I met him he was living with his mum and bought his house 6 months later.

His mother has been in a relationship with her partner for around 10 years.

When my Oh bought his house MIL asked if he could tell the council her partner was lodging at his new house so she could carry on claiming a single parent to her younger children, despite hat he was already living at her house (he had previously rented his own flat but pretty much lived there) My partner felt pressurised to agree and did so. I felt like I had no right in this decision as we’d been together a matter of months.

A couple years later this was still the case but I moved in and I told my partner to let his mum know that it has stop. I didn’t want this going on anymore. She took 6 months to sort it out so I worried about it constantly. All his post come here. It was pretty embarrassing. It’s a small village where the postman knows everyone and he must wonder why we got post for a man he’s never seen here.

So it finally stopped. Yet my mother in laws bloke has yet to change his address on everything. We are still getting post for him.

We keep getting letters regarding his deceased mother from the council. I haven’t opened them obviously but his mother’s house still lie empty as far as I know. We gotta feeling it’s council tax bills. We are worried it will affect our credit as they are being sent to our address and there also letters being sent for him about his Mum from the bank!

I keep emailing the man to pick his letters up. We don’t get chance to drop them off very often but we have a massive pile of letters for him and others regarding his dead Mum and it’s annoying me.

I’m tempted to return them to the sender so hopefully the post will stop!

[PositivelyPERF]

Send them back to the council, with ‘has not lived here since (date)’ Put down the date that she was supposed to stop doing this. Your fella has been really silly and the shit will hit the fan if he’s caught out, as he’s been complicit in fraud.

[gonzo77]

Rest assured though it will not affect your credit rating.

[Didntwanttochangemyname]

As PP above, return post to sender and write on the envelope that they are no longer known at this address since date

[JKCR2017]

Thank you. He hasn’t been ‘pretend living’ here for around 3.5 years I think but he is yet to change his address! Once my mil rang me up to ask if he’s had any post and to open them to see about something. It was a letter from the csa on what he owed his ex.. it’s not what she was expecting though 😂 she was expecting a hospital app!

It’s so frustrating when I’m a completely honest person myself. I was a single mother before I met OH. The day I moved in I was on the phone to the tax credits office cancelling/changing my claim and changing my address etc!

It isn’t good for my stress levels 😬

[Whisky2014]

Yep stop enabling him and write not at this address on the letters.

[2rebecca]

I would do as positively PERF says or just put "return to sender no longer at this address" You should never have agreed to this nonsense in the first place.

[DisplayPurposesOnly]

Set him deadlines with consequences. "This has dragged on too long and we've asked you several times to deal with it. If you don't collect your letters within the next week I'm putting them in the bin. You must change your address on everything within the next month, after that all future post will be binned."

[AllTakenSoRubbishUsername]

I would take the bundle of letters around, and give him a couple of weeks tops to redirect them (take a form from the PO with you). If after that time he hasn't just redirect them yourself, put 'not at this address' on the letters. Also tell the postman that he doesn't live there.

[Juells]

I wouldn't bin them. Just Return to Sender with 'not at this address' written across every single one.

[LakieLady]

If this man is running up debt while maintaining that he lives at your partner's home, it could well affect your partner's credit in future. The two of them may be "linked" for credit check purposes. It would be worth your partner getting a proper Experian credit check (costs £2, I think) to check.

Hopefully, his mother's partner is no longer on the electoral register at your partner's address.

Are you quite sure that his mother has fessed up to no longer being single for benefit purposes? If they are making a joint claim for benefits, and he has inherited a house that is sitting empty, the implications for them could be serious, as he has capital tied up in the house that would almost certainly mean they are not entitled to any means-tested benefits other than tax credits.

I would advise your partner to tell him to get his affairs in order pdq and declare where he is actually living, and that if he is still getting post for him in a couple of months time, he will start returning it on the basis that he no longer lives there.

On the positive side, if he was liable for council tax at his mother's and not paying it, you would probably have had a bailiff's visit by now, so it seems unlikely that that is the case. It was very ill-advised of your partner to get himself involved in his mother's benefit fraud!

[JKCR2017]

Trust me I would never of agreed to this. Me and the OH had only been together 5-6 months. I was never keen but it wasn’t my place to say at that point.. until I moved in.

Previous to him ‘living here’ he rented a flat so she could claim benefits. Surely the amount he was paying in rent would make up what she would lose anyway? Didn’t make sense.


Also, mil did get called up for benefit fraud. I have no idea who reported her but she had to have a meeting but she denied and nothing ever come of it as far as I know!

I’m worried if I return to sender. That it will be questioned why I haven’t returned to sender before now?

[AdoraBell]

Personally I would move out. I know that isn’t what you are asking about, but I wouldn’t want to be within range when this shit hits the fan, which it will sooner or later.

Your OH could also could have a problem when the council discover what his DM has done.

If you don’t want to move out do what PERF suggested.

[JKCR2017]

Also, mil doesn’t get benefits anymore. The now both work full time and he is officially living there but we still get the post he hasn’t changed the address on. Very important post from the council, bank etc. Not just junk mail which I’d get rid of anyway. All her children have flown the nest (the younger 3 were teenagers when this all started and have now grown up so she no longer claims benefits)

[JKCR2017]

It’s just me and the Oh on the electoral roll here now 😊 just the annoying letters that get sent here. Bizarre how letters from the council turn up here. Not sure why they can’t look up where he’s living now

[gonzo77]

Just to clarify the only way anyone would be affected by anothers poor credit is if they share finances. So joint accounts, mortgages, loans, etc

[category12]

You need to return them to sender. Maybe give them a warning you're going to do so first, so they have a chance to pre-empt by changing addresses with the relevant people.

But no way would I continue to have council tax bills etc coming to your place. Binning them is pointless, as far as the senders are concerned they'll have been received. Return to sender.

[Laiste]

If this man is running up debt while maintaining that he lives at your partner's home, it could well affect your partner's credit in future.

Yes i've heard of a person's credit rating being affected solely because of their address being linked to a debtor. Even one they've never known or met, a previous owner.

I’m worried if I return to sender. That it will be questioned why I haven’t returned to sender before now?

What actual organisations are the people you'd be returning to? (If you can say here).

[category12]

You haven't done anything wrong. No-one is going to question why you're now returning them to sender, they're not your problem.

[DaysOfCurlySpencer]

Open and put a note on saying not been at this address since , seal back up and stick the return address over yours on the envelope because sometimes they will come back again if you don't block it out.
Write not known at this address on the front, return to sender, and bung them in the post.

It can take a few attempts but it usually gets done in the end. For really stubborn ones you may need to actually put a letter inside and I have included the new address in these otherwise they just ignore and keep sending as they don't have the sense to look it up. I have done this. Eventually it stops.

[Swipetounlock]

I wouldn't put 'since [insert date]' on any returned post as then you are an accessory to the fraud, as you know that the date is a lie. Simply cross out the address, put a circle and arrow to the return address and put 'RTS - not at this address'.

[Laiste]

''I moved in and I told my partner to let his mum know that it has stop ... She took 6 months to sort it out so I worried about it constantly ... So it finally stopped. Yet my mother in law's bloke has yet to change his address on everything. We are still getting post for him. We keep getting letters regarding his deceased mother from the council.''

I'm just trying to work out how much you could be implicated personally OP - should the shite hit the fan . So the amount of time you were living at the address knowing he was pretending to live there also was 6 months? Or did your DPs mother change his address as soon as you moved in but they took 6 months to get the paperwork straight?

[Jack65]

Laiste a credit rating is not affected by another person living at that address ever. The two people have to be financially linked, so have a joint mortgage, joint bank account etc etc. Please don't repeat urban myths.

[Laiste]

It would worry me that the council still write to him at your address. Even though it's about a matter related to his mother.

[Laiste]

Jack65 you're correct. I stand corrected :)

www.clearscore.com/credit-score/how-does-address-affect-credit-score

[SnuggyBuggy]

You really shouldn't have got involved with someone helping someone commit benefit fraud.