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To find it a bit upsetting that my Dec born dc gets shit presents...

(368 Posts)
grinchmas Fri 14-Dec-18 08:44:38

From relatives. I know it's an expensive time of year but it's the same date every year, hardly shocking.

I put a lot of effort into all my nieces and nephews birthday presents throughout the year and wouldn't dream of wrapping their present up in Christmas paper or spending £3 on a present "because it's Christmas soon". Every birthday so far this has happened!

I'm probably being unreasonable, but I just feel sorry for my dc!

Starbitcrazy Thu 20-Dec-18 00:47:53

My husbands birthday is the 30th and then mine on 14th Jan. We've both been forgotten about, joint birthday/christmas gift giving and been told they can't afford it. Always by friends and never by family although my PiLs forgot my birthday this year but then took us for a meal anywhere I wanted as an apology, so I guess its fine. I'd rather have a pressie than a meal though as once you've eaten it, it's all gone!

I think people get so wrapped up in Christmas that birthdays take a back seat. Your poor DC, perhaps you should just start spending less on their kids.

itisitis Wed 19-Dec-18 23:27:43

27 December Birthday here! And it's crap. However, my mum always made sure I didn't get joint presents. I had separate presents from my parents and family for both Christmas and birthdays. My daughter was born very early January and I know she will have the same problem. She's also incredibly difficult to buy for as she gets the "list" things for Christmas. I tend to over-buy, and then set things aside for her birthday when I'm wrapping.

Amazonian27 Wed 19-Dec-18 23:11:18

YaNBU it pisses me off that people forget to take into consideration Christmas post so DS’s birthday cards and presents are always late or people two days before oh I forget it’s x’s birthday this week I forgot (as an after thought what he would like) I can’t be bothered to go into town again etc and think this is ok.

NC4Now Wed 19-Dec-18 23:07:27

It’s about having your own occasion, not bundled up with something else.

MinecraftHolmes Wed 19-Dec-18 12:35:19

I used xmas wrapping for my niece's birthday in August because I had some left over. Surely it doesn't matter what paper you use?

Using left over Christmas wrapping for an August birthday is completely different. I'm guessing an August birthday isn't routinely forgotten about or ignored in favour of Christmas events.

KarmaStar Wed 19-Dec-18 12:12:52

Am feeling very guilty now.😯 a relative wanted something that was very expensive,his birthday is mid January,so we decided we could afford it as a Christmas and birthday gift.....so we have and wrapped it in Christmas paper with a note on the gift card explaining it's for both.we usually totally separate the two occasions.I only hope he is understanding of the idea...

SeraphinaDombegh Wed 19-Dec-18 11:53:04

DS1 has a December birthday. We've been lucky - family and friends have always ensured that he gets separate birthday and Christmas presents, and wrapped properly too. My DTNieces are December babies too, so I give them the same consideration. It's just lazy and inconsiderate to do otherwise. Perhaps when DS is older he might get combined presents, but only if he specifically wants something pricey and agrees to it.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie Wed 19-Dec-18 10:48:33

I used xmas wrapping for my niece's birthday in August because I had some left over. Surely it doesn't matter what paper you use?

Sirrah Wed 19-Dec-18 10:38:46

My son's birthday is 5th December, he always had birthday presents and separate Christmas presents. He now has a son, born 28th December, so I've been careful to get good presents for both Xmas and birthday, and will wrap them differently. It isn't hard to do, after all!

canibehereifimnotamum Wed 19-Dec-18 10:26:02

It's awful. My mums birthday is NYD and she gets the same. Everyone's too hungover and broke to do anything! I feel awful for people with xmasy birthdays!

BigFatGoalie Wed 19-Dec-18 10:20:35

My birthday is right before Christmas. Last year my DH of many many years said to me “your birthday just sneaks up on me!” 😆

PeachyPeachTrees Wed 19-Dec-18 10:09:58

Oh no she doesn't. grin

Shockers Wed 19-Dec-18 09:31:38

My oldest friend has her birthday on 24/12. She has always laid out her expectation to family and friends that this is not Christmas Eve in her world- it’s her birthday! She loves the whole Christmas build up, but it is suspended for one day in her honour. Nobody would dare do anything else gringringrin

DD’s birthday is also just before Christmas. It has always made celebrating very easy as she loves the pantomime. We take a few friends to watch it and then out for tea. DD loves being a Christmas baby!

singingismypassion Wed 19-Dec-18 09:26:50

My godson is born on xmas day so they celebrate his birthday in may

1stMrsF Wed 19-Dec-18 09:24:47

My godchildren (twins) have a December birthday just after Christmas. In my Christmas shopping list there is a separate line for each of them for a birthday gift that is wrapped (in birthday paper) separately. I do deliver them with the Christmas presents as that is just a bit easier logistically, but it never occurred to me to combine the two. Yes it's another expense in an expensive month but that's just life.

PeachyPeachTrees Wed 19-Dec-18 09:17:36

I have an August born son. I find the summer holidays (childcare costs, activities, going away for a week) sets me back more than double what I spend at Christmas!
Think I might skip his party and presents next year as he was inconveniently born at the most expensive time of year. wink

Fantail2018 Tue 18-Dec-18 06:38:39

Southern hemisphere Dec/Jan birthdays have the additional issue of all friends being away on holiday/visiting family for xmas.

We have lots of family birthdays around this time but classic as a kid was my borther and I being given a joint birthday and xmas present to share by relatively close family member.

I'm like some others on here who just don't get that enthused about birthdays now as it was always overshadowed and friends always away so my parties as a kid were not what I wanted. Am having to try really hard for my kids one of whom is also early Jan.

Satsumaeater Mon 17-Dec-18 12:48:15

Generous combined presents are fine. I have bought my mum a laptop as a joint Christmas/birthday present and her birthday isn't until April! She will get something small to open on both days as well but there's no point buying her less expensive tat when a new laptop was what she really wanted, but that's too expensive for one present.

What isn't fine is buying tat and then only one lot of it because the days are so close together (well maybe only one lot of tat is a good thing).

That said, it can work the other way. DH always buys his sister (birthday 23rd Dec) a birthday present as well as a Christmas present because their being so close together makes him remember But she rarely gets him a birthday present!

IheartNiles Mon 17-Dec-18 12:18:53

I have a mid Dec birthday. It never bothered me to be honest, quite nice to have it when festive everywhere. Remember quite a few ‘joint’ presents though.

Ngaio2 Mon 17-Dec-18 12:14:08

@puppymouse. I tried the half birthday thing once but as I’d half expected, without a lot of promoting, which felt rather greedy, it was largely ignored.
Next year Im going to save up for a simple pub lunch ( which I will pay for) and host family and friends in June. I’ll have a significant bday this year at NY and for all the reasons set out in this thread don’t intend to especially celebrate it

Ngaio2 Mon 17-Dec-18 12:06:10

My DDs bday is 27 Dec and in effect its meant about a week of celebrations and gifts with visits to family and friends, early and late gifts. There has never been any combined gifts, though there is occasionally Christmas gift wrap on birthday gifts from disorganised people (who always apologise, so are aware).
My bday is a few days later and it was never an issue for me and was actually very useful if I wanted a larger present because I could request a combined Christmas/birthday gift.
The main disadvantage is not being able to go out for dinner on my birthday. A few years back I booked in advance and when our group arrived the restaurant was closed. Massive disappointment. Nothing much else open and since then I haven’t felt like going out for a birthday meal since. 😿

Catscatsandmorecats Sun 16-Dec-18 23:39:02

OP yanbu - it's not even about the cost of the gift, it's the lack of thought.

widgetbeana unless you okayed it with the parents first, I'd say not OK. A small child doesn't understand what a gift costs, just that it is one gift and not two. I doubt it'll make a huge issue on Christmas Day to them having one less gift to open but if that is in comparison to a sibling it could upset them.

I have an early January birthday, which as a kid my parents always made very special, and still try to now, even if I can't be bothered. Once I understood the cost of things I quickly worked out I could get amazing joint presents but they were always asked for. I never got birthday presents in Christmas paper and I always had a party. It's only since I've been a 'proper' grown up that I have experienced people being lame about my birthday, and although it shouldn't matter, it can make you sad if none of your friends will do anything. Now, I find it all a bit much so soon after Christmas so try to keep it low key. One big birthday I had a summer party for and I expect I'll do that again for the next big one.

Because of this I always try to make the effort for people with December and January birthdays. It's not hard to treat them like a birthday bay any other time of year

QueenOfCatan Sun 16-Dec-18 21:03:34

Yanbu, I thought we'd avoided all that with DD having a November birthday but no, she still got fecking Christmas things for her birthday wrapped in Christmas paper. Her birthday is six weeks before ffs. Completely unimaginative.

legoonthetable Sun 16-Dec-18 20:39:34

happygelfling we do that too. DD does rather well out of it. We make a big fuss as a family in Dec and then have a 1/2 birthday and party in the summer. On her 1st bday SIL suggested a "joint" birthday-christmass present. I politely declined and the suggestion hasn't been made again; DD gets separate bday and christmas presents just like SILs non dec born DC.

happygelfling Sun 16-Dec-18 20:31:06

My DS has a Christmas birthday. We celebrate his half birthday in June instead. He had a bouncy castle in the garden for his party - wouldn't fancy that in December!

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