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To find it a bit upsetting that my Dec born dc gets shit presents...

(368 Posts)
grinchmas Fri 14-Dec-18 08:44:38

From relatives. I know it's an expensive time of year but it's the same date every year, hardly shocking.

I put a lot of effort into all my nieces and nephews birthday presents throughout the year and wouldn't dream of wrapping their present up in Christmas paper or spending £3 on a present "because it's Christmas soon". Every birthday so far this has happened!

I'm probably being unreasonable, but I just feel sorry for my dc!

Monkeynuts18 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:11:43

I completely see why that’s a bit rubbish but look at the positives - December is such a lovely time of year, everywhere looks beautiful, everyone’s in the celebratory mood!

Dothehappydance Fri 14-Dec-18 09:12:55

My dn is a NYE baby. I have always made sure that the present is totally separate, it isn't hard to do really.

My Mum hates the fact that it is always difficult to get them a nice card though, she has taken to very early planning.

Deathraystare Fri 14-Dec-18 09:13:16

My bday is early Jan.

Hello fellow Capricorn!!!
I never noticed the shite present thing but often got shite cards because only shite ones around as mostly Christmas cards in shops!

DollyRose Fri 14-Dec-18 09:13:39

Totally agree
It's easier if they just buy a gift in the summer months and keep it by for the December birthday.

80sMum Fri 14-Dec-18 09:14:12

YANBU.

I'm another one with a birthday just after Christmas and almost always had the combined Christmas+birthday gifts from my grandparents and Aunt & Uncle (they were my only relatives) and sometimes my parents too.

My Christmas presents were always very similar to my sisters' and even as a child I knew that I basically wasn't getting any birthday presents.

My friends invariably forgot my birthday, so I had very few cards as well. I used to envy my sisters, who both have summer birthdays.

As an adult, I've never bothered doing anything on my birthday, probably due to the training I had as a child! grin

Thegirlinthefireplace Fri 14-Dec-18 09:16:12

My daughter is 23rd and relatives are pretty good about not going cheap on presents or using Xmas paper but I do finding organising birthday parties a nightmare and I do include a note with the invites saying no need for presents due to proximity to Xmas (my daughters wishes) but guests always bring them anyway.

Greyhound22 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:17:40

I'm in Jan.

It sounds horribly grabby etc but I do get a bit miffed about getting the Christmas presents people didn't want. Lots of green Boots stickers. I put a lot of thought into presents.

diddl Fri 14-Dec-18 09:19:27

If you get a combined Christmas & bday, present, is it at least the value of 2 presents?

I have a December bday & have never had combined stuff.

My sibling didn't, so I didn't either.

I love having a bday close to Christmas.

BertieDrapper Fri 14-Dec-18 09:21:01

my DDs birthday is in early jan, we've never had issue with lack of presents.... but for the two birthdays she's had so far she's been ill and we've had to cancel plans and parties the day before.
Did want to do a party for her 3rd coming up but there is little to no point planning anything!
Any other January birthday people find this?

MrsStrowman Fri 14-Dec-18 09:23:26

I just had DS a month early so his birthday is late November instead of late December as expected, I'm glad of that for the exact reasons you've said! I have a summer birthday which has always been great and while late November is closer to Christmas than mine I'm hoping it's too far apart for the whole joint presents, no party, business

MinecraftHolmes Fri 14-Dec-18 09:24:59

My birthday is a couple of days after Christmas and my experiences of birthdays vs seeing how everyone else’s birthdays went have lead to me being Beyond Not Arsed about it. I’d happily ignore it altogether.

lostandconfusedd Fri 14-Dec-18 09:26:40

This is why I'd never plan a baby to be born in December! Although my birthday is Valentine's day, nobody has ever celebrated with me (barr a partner at the time) since I was 13.
Everyone is always with their other half or if they are single they don't wanna go out in case they see other couples sad I will never have a birthday drink sad

AdoraBell Fri 14-Dec-18 09:26:41

YANBU

Another early Jan birthday here. I have DSis who has mid December birthday. Oddly my parents could buy her a separate gift for birthday and Christmas, but they could possibly do the same for a January birthday hmm

Yet, I had a friend whose birthday is Dec 26 and her family put her birthday above Christmas. They had a big standard dinner on the 25 and a bog family dinner for her birthday.

It’s not about the monetary value of the presents. It’s about children feeling that their birthday matters, or doesn’t.

It can be done. People just have to be aware that X has their birthday on X date every year and plan for it.

Elliejojo Fri 14-Dec-18 09:26:58

I’m due to give birth in the next few weeks and this is one of my worries!
I’ve been trying to work out already how to make it special when they are older, but I think they might just curse me for life.

Sherbetty Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:10

DS's birthday is christmas day and all he's gotten is combined presents every year. However this year we're doing most of his birthday on christmas eve rather than squeezing it all into one day, I'm hoping this stops the combined presents as family are coming over on christmas eve specifically for his birthday then we're seeing them on christmas too

Strawberry2017 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:10

DD has her birthday on the 12th December- just turned 1, made sure she had birthday wrapping paper separate presents etc but I'm torn for future years over whether I should wait till after her birthday to put up the decorations. I love xmas but don't want her growing up hating it.

Ladymargarethall Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:28

I think we bucked the trend. D'S was born 28th December and has rarely had rubbish presents or combined presents.
Now he is an adult we often go out on his birthday. He is the only one in the family though. The next birthday are end of January. I can see that having several relatives with birthdays round Christmas would be a pain.

SimplyPut Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:27

OP I would say next time are we lowering the budget to £5? It's not your sons fault, he should get the same as others.

Turquoisetamborine Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:36

You’ve got to be cheeky with people. My son's birthday is Boxing Day and I won’t tolerate it being lumped in with Christmas. No one has ever got away with getting him a lesser present without me saying something about it.

You just have to make sure that you as parents make a big fuss. I’ve ordered him a chocolate cake from his favourite baker, will be putting birthday balloons and decorations up and taking him out for a special day of his choosing. He doesn’t have a party any more (his choice) but you can still make it really memorable although I’m ready to collapse with the stress of it all by the evening. I find doing two really busy days in a row hard work but I do it for him.

If I’d known I would never have got pregnant in March though. My other son is an April birthday and it’s just so much more pleasant and fun.

makingmiracles Fri 14-Dec-18 09:28:29

Mine is in dec, as a kid I didn’t feel any difference but as an adult it peeves me as no one ever has the money to go out/go for a meal, or Xmas parties get arranged on or very near my birthday. I also inevitably end up spending birthday money on xmas stuff or it gets swallowed up in Xmas expenses. As an adult I’ve actively tried not to conceive a baby that would end up as a dec baby!

SaucyJack Fri 14-Dec-18 09:28:38

YANBU in some ways, but I think there are other positives to having December birthdays that balance it out.

There’s often stuff on at school this time of year, and everywhere and everyone is always lit up and cheerful.

It’s the January people I feel a bit sorry for.

slappinthebass Fri 14-Dec-18 09:28:49

My youngest is 2 in a week and last year everyone actually surprised me and he was lucky work gifts with no Christmas theme or paper in sight. As this year isn't a milestone birthday I'm not sure we'll be so lucky. We did a half birthday celebration at home in June, with presents, because all his toys from last December he'd outgrown. We had balloons and party food for dinner, we didn't invite anyone except the family that live at home, incase anyone felt pressured to buy for him twice or disapproved.

Turquoisetamborine Fri 14-Dec-18 09:29:39

I have to say that it’s worse for my stepdad who is also born on Boxing Day. One way to make your 50th birthday even more outshone is for the first grandchild to be born on it 😂. He really doesn’t mind though bless him.

Hoppinggreen Fri 14-Dec-18 09:29:54

Yanbu
Both my dc have Christmas birthdays and get fab presents (always separate ones too) from both sides of the family
However, they are all comfortably off and quite generous so that might make a difference

QuizzlyBear Fri 14-Dec-18 09:30:57

VERY early January birthday here and it's always been rubbish - re-gifted Christmas presents hastily rewrapped, everyone either away, skint or recovering from New Years Eve. Plus it's freezing cold and everyone has the post-Christmas blues.

Growing up my DB's birthday was two weeks before so we always had joint parties and joint 'christmasandbirthday' presents to keep costs down. I bloody hate it.

During my student days I announced that I'd be celebrating my birthday at the six month mark and had a party every year in June! Like the Queen, my 'official birthday' was a far more fun affair...

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