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To find it a bit upsetting that my Dec born dc gets shit presents...

(368 Posts)
grinchmas Fri 14-Dec-18 08:44:38

From relatives. I know it's an expensive time of year but it's the same date every year, hardly shocking.

I put a lot of effort into all my nieces and nephews birthday presents throughout the year and wouldn't dream of wrapping their present up in Christmas paper or spending £3 on a present "because it's Christmas soon". Every birthday so far this has happened!

I'm probably being unreasonable, but I just feel sorry for my dc!

PetuliaBlavatsky Fri 14-Dec-18 08:50:50

YANBU my DH has a December birthday and it's pretty crap. He had all the crap presents wrapped in Christmas paper as a child and now hates his birthday. What can you do though? It is when it is, you can't change it.
Would they like the idea of doing a half-birthday celebration in June?

SomeBigBaubles Fri 14-Dec-18 08:53:14

My bday is early Jan.

ALL my Xmas presents as a kid were thus multi-functioned into 'Xmas and Birthday'

Even as a kid I knew I was missing out!

NecklessMumster Fri 14-Dec-18 08:54:00

YNBU I have 4 nieces and nephews who have birthdays in Christmas/new year which means I have to get 8 presents and I am careful to make sure they have a thoughtful present for both . I save all year and had to increase it for this, I buy wrapping paper with a Happy Birthday print to try and make sure there's no mix ups

SomeBigBaubles Fri 14-Dec-18 08:56:01

Oh and it means no one wants to do anything as an adult because they're outspent over Xmas, out partied from New Year and overeaten over the season. No parties, meals out, get togethers, at all.

I dread my birthday.

First world problems.

SoyDora Fri 14-Dec-18 08:56:12

Poor DH’s birthday is the 23rd December (his parents haven’t even bought him a separate birthday present since he was 16!) and our DC3 is due on the 28th so is in for a lifetime of this too I fear.

Crazyeyes3 Fri 14-Dec-18 08:58:22

My birthday is the 30th Dec. It sucks!

peppersaunt Fri 14-Dec-18 08:58:44

Another late December birthday here. DH jokes that he feels he has to make up for years of “Oh here’s one present for both”! To make it worse my Dsis was also born in late December (= joint parties)

SimplyPut Fri 14-Dec-18 09:00:49

There is no excuse, people know it's coming!!! My DN has a birthday between Christmas and new year. I add their birthday to my shopping list, gift was purchased in November and have character gift wrap and card in the bag ready to use. My DB and his wife take down all their Christmas decorations on Boxing Day ready for birthday banners and balloons!

Runningishard Fri 14-Dec-18 09:01:14

A friend’s birthday is 17 dec and every year another friend gives her the free Boots No7 gift that you get with Christmas purchases. It’s not a bad gift but she openly admits she got it for free!

Shamalamalam Fri 14-Dec-18 09:01:42

I have an early January birthday and it’s always been a bit crap

As a child I always got joint birthday/Christmas presents

As an adult no one really wants to do anything - everyone is skint or knackered from Christmas. Never had a meal out or a few drinks with friends for my birthday

Woe is me and all that, and it doesn’t really matter, but when I think of all the birthday drinks, meals out and parties I’ve been to and presents I’ve bought it would be nice if someone could make an effort just once

Satsumaeater Fri 14-Dec-18 09:02:47

YANBU. Doesn't affect me fortunately although sometimes Mother's Day clashes with my birthday which is a pain when you want to go out for lunch, but SIL's birthday is 23rd December. January is probably even worse because people will say they have no money to go out or buy presents.

I also feel for people with birthdays around Valentine's Day.

Oysterbabe Fri 14-Dec-18 09:03:16

Me, DD and DS have December birthdays, 17th, 21st and 31st. I always quite liked it, it's seemed special as everyone was in a celebratory mood.

The kids are only little but so far I think people have been making the effort to get separate presents and as nice as you'd expect at any other time of year. I find the sheer volume of stuff over such a short time pretty overwhelming though. DD is getting an expensive dollshouse from us this year for Christmas then a bike just a few days later. There ends up being too much for her to play with.

liv4357 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:04:41

Mines the 21st, I have always disliked my birthday. I can't ever make plans because nobody has the money to go anywhere. Although I have always had separate presents and my mum and dh have always used birthday wrapping paper, some people just don't bother. Even as a child I don't think I ever felt my birthday was that special it's always been overshadowed by Christmas. Luckily I love Christmas so it doesn't really matter now I'm older

camelfinger Fri 14-Dec-18 09:04:47

I think January birthdays are the worst. Christmas can’t be much fun either, and I think August is pretty rubbish from a school point of view as people are either away or are a bit tired of birthdays and parties by then. My experience is that people definitely give more of a shit about birthdays outside of holiday season.

RhiWrites Fri 14-Dec-18 09:06:09

My nephew is Boxing Day and we are super careful to always make that his day with a decent present with birthday paper. Some people just suck.

whippetwoman Fri 14-Dec-18 09:07:07

Oh I am so with you. My DD and I are both January birthdays. No one wants to do anything, has any money or they are doing Dry January or even Veganuary.

The good thing is that your DC will never miss out from you as you are so aware of it.

grinchmas Fri 14-Dec-18 09:07:15

I'm glad people are in agreement! It's definitely a first world problem but I still feel bad for dc.

Sorry to all of you that have had a lifetime of this! sad I don't get it. Presents don't usually go off, why not just get it in the summer to help spread the cost.

Tempted to passive aggressively wrap up a summer borns present in Christmas paper. grin I wouldn't, but the petty part of me wants to make a point!

Shepherdspieisminging Fri 14-Dec-18 09:07:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag Fri 14-Dec-18 09:07:59

My niece has a birthday between Christmas and New Year. I buy her a small gift to open on her birthday and a 'proper' present in June to spread the fun out for her.

MamaLovesMango Fri 14-Dec-18 09:08:17

YANBU. My birthday is in December. Always had the same issue re Xmas. Added to that, always harder to celebrate without it being an Xmas thing, the dual purpose presents for Xmas AND birthday, birthday presents wrapped in Xmas paper and then when an adult, no one can come out for my birthday because they’re skint or saving for Xmas.

So for big birthdays, I move it to the summer and have a token official birthday (a cake usually) on the actual day grin

Lovemusic33 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:08:34

My dc’s don’t get birthday gifts from anyone other than me unless it’s cash from grandparents, nothing from aunts or uncles, last year they only had 3 birthday cards sad. Christmas is pretty much the same.

Piffle11 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:09:37

I would never dream of skimping on a birthday present, just because it's close to Christmas! I think you're relatives are rather thoughtless, OP, and using the 'Christmas expense' excuse to not bother.

Dippysnowoman Fri 14-Dec-18 09:10:11

My Dp's birthday is the 27th and has had the one present for Christmas and your birthday from many family members. Even worse he's a twin so as kids it was one gift for both between them!

doris9034 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:10:37

My dsis is 28th Dec, DM 29th Dec, me 4th Jan, DP 9th Jan, DGS 14th Jan....... It sucks!

Monkeynuts18 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:11:43

I completely see why that’s a bit rubbish but look at the positives - December is such a lovely time of year, everywhere looks beautiful, everyone’s in the celebratory mood!

Dothehappydance Fri 14-Dec-18 09:12:55

My dn is a NYE baby. I have always made sure that the present is totally separate, it isn't hard to do really.

My Mum hates the fact that it is always difficult to get them a nice card though, she has taken to very early planning.

Deathraystare Fri 14-Dec-18 09:13:16

My bday is early Jan.

Hello fellow Capricorn!!!
I never noticed the shite present thing but often got shite cards because only shite ones around as mostly Christmas cards in shops!

DollyRose Fri 14-Dec-18 09:13:39

Totally agree
It's easier if they just buy a gift in the summer months and keep it by for the December birthday.

80sMum Fri 14-Dec-18 09:14:12

YANBU.

I'm another one with a birthday just after Christmas and almost always had the combined Christmas+birthday gifts from my grandparents and Aunt & Uncle (they were my only relatives) and sometimes my parents too.

My Christmas presents were always very similar to my sisters' and even as a child I knew that I basically wasn't getting any birthday presents.

My friends invariably forgot my birthday, so I had very few cards as well. I used to envy my sisters, who both have summer birthdays.

As an adult, I've never bothered doing anything on my birthday, probably due to the training I had as a child! grin

Thegirlinthefireplace Fri 14-Dec-18 09:16:12

My daughter is 23rd and relatives are pretty good about not going cheap on presents or using Xmas paper but I do finding organising birthday parties a nightmare and I do include a note with the invites saying no need for presents due to proximity to Xmas (my daughters wishes) but guests always bring them anyway.

Greyhound22 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:17:40

I'm in Jan.

It sounds horribly grabby etc but I do get a bit miffed about getting the Christmas presents people didn't want. Lots of green Boots stickers. I put a lot of thought into presents.

diddl Fri 14-Dec-18 09:19:27

If you get a combined Christmas & bday, present, is it at least the value of 2 presents?

I have a December bday & have never had combined stuff.

My sibling didn't, so I didn't either.

I love having a bday close to Christmas.

BertieDrapper Fri 14-Dec-18 09:21:01

my DDs birthday is in early jan, we've never had issue with lack of presents.... but for the two birthdays she's had so far she's been ill and we've had to cancel plans and parties the day before.
Did want to do a party for her 3rd coming up but there is little to no point planning anything!
Any other January birthday people find this?

MrsStrowman Fri 14-Dec-18 09:23:26

I just had DS a month early so his birthday is late November instead of late December as expected, I'm glad of that for the exact reasons you've said! I have a summer birthday which has always been great and while late November is closer to Christmas than mine I'm hoping it's too far apart for the whole joint presents, no party, business

MinecraftHolmes Fri 14-Dec-18 09:24:59

My birthday is a couple of days after Christmas and my experiences of birthdays vs seeing how everyone else’s birthdays went have lead to me being Beyond Not Arsed about it. I’d happily ignore it altogether.

lostandconfusedd Fri 14-Dec-18 09:26:40

This is why I'd never plan a baby to be born in December! Although my birthday is Valentine's day, nobody has ever celebrated with me (barr a partner at the time) since I was 13.
Everyone is always with their other half or if they are single they don't wanna go out in case they see other couples sad I will never have a birthday drink sad

AdoraBell Fri 14-Dec-18 09:26:41

YANBU

Another early Jan birthday here. I have DSis who has mid December birthday. Oddly my parents could buy her a separate gift for birthday and Christmas, but they could possibly do the same for a January birthday hmm

Yet, I had a friend whose birthday is Dec 26 and her family put her birthday above Christmas. They had a big standard dinner on the 25 and a bog family dinner for her birthday.

It’s not about the monetary value of the presents. It’s about children feeling that their birthday matters, or doesn’t.

It can be done. People just have to be aware that X has their birthday on X date every year and plan for it.

Elliejojo Fri 14-Dec-18 09:26:58

I’m due to give birth in the next few weeks and this is one of my worries!
I’ve been trying to work out already how to make it special when they are older, but I think they might just curse me for life.

Sherbetty Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:10

DS's birthday is christmas day and all he's gotten is combined presents every year. However this year we're doing most of his birthday on christmas eve rather than squeezing it all into one day, I'm hoping this stops the combined presents as family are coming over on christmas eve specifically for his birthday then we're seeing them on christmas too

Strawberry2017 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:10

DD has her birthday on the 12th December- just turned 1, made sure she had birthday wrapping paper separate presents etc but I'm torn for future years over whether I should wait till after her birthday to put up the decorations. I love xmas but don't want her growing up hating it.

Ladymargarethall Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:28

I think we bucked the trend. D'S was born 28th December and has rarely had rubbish presents or combined presents.
Now he is an adult we often go out on his birthday. He is the only one in the family though. The next birthday are end of January. I can see that having several relatives with birthdays round Christmas would be a pain.

SimplyPut Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:27

OP I would say next time are we lowering the budget to £5? It's not your sons fault, he should get the same as others.

Turquoisetamborine Fri 14-Dec-18 09:27:36

You’ve got to be cheeky with people. My son's birthday is Boxing Day and I won’t tolerate it being lumped in with Christmas. No one has ever got away with getting him a lesser present without me saying something about it.

You just have to make sure that you as parents make a big fuss. I’ve ordered him a chocolate cake from his favourite baker, will be putting birthday balloons and decorations up and taking him out for a special day of his choosing. He doesn’t have a party any more (his choice) but you can still make it really memorable although I’m ready to collapse with the stress of it all by the evening. I find doing two really busy days in a row hard work but I do it for him.

If I’d known I would never have got pregnant in March though. My other son is an April birthday and it’s just so much more pleasant and fun.

makingmiracles Fri 14-Dec-18 09:28:29

Mine is in dec, as a kid I didn’t feel any difference but as an adult it peeves me as no one ever has the money to go out/go for a meal, or Xmas parties get arranged on or very near my birthday. I also inevitably end up spending birthday money on xmas stuff or it gets swallowed up in Xmas expenses. As an adult I’ve actively tried not to conceive a baby that would end up as a dec baby!

SaucyJack Fri 14-Dec-18 09:28:38

YANBU in some ways, but I think there are other positives to having December birthdays that balance it out.

There’s often stuff on at school this time of year, and everywhere and everyone is always lit up and cheerful.

It’s the January people I feel a bit sorry for.

slappinthebass Fri 14-Dec-18 09:28:49

My youngest is 2 in a week and last year everyone actually surprised me and he was lucky work gifts with no Christmas theme or paper in sight. As this year isn't a milestone birthday I'm not sure we'll be so lucky. We did a half birthday celebration at home in June, with presents, because all his toys from last December he'd outgrown. We had balloons and party food for dinner, we didn't invite anyone except the family that live at home, incase anyone felt pressured to buy for him twice or disapproved.

Turquoisetamborine Fri 14-Dec-18 09:29:39

I have to say that it’s worse for my stepdad who is also born on Boxing Day. One way to make your 50th birthday even more outshone is for the first grandchild to be born on it 😂. He really doesn’t mind though bless him.

Hoppinggreen Fri 14-Dec-18 09:29:54

Yanbu
Both my dc have Christmas birthdays and get fab presents (always separate ones too) from both sides of the family
However, they are all comfortably off and quite generous so that might make a difference

QuizzlyBear Fri 14-Dec-18 09:30:57

VERY early January birthday here and it's always been rubbish - re-gifted Christmas presents hastily rewrapped, everyone either away, skint or recovering from New Years Eve. Plus it's freezing cold and everyone has the post-Christmas blues.

Growing up my DB's birthday was two weeks before so we always had joint parties and joint 'christmasandbirthday' presents to keep costs down. I bloody hate it.

During my student days I announced that I'd be celebrating my birthday at the six month mark and had a party every year in June! Like the Queen, my 'official birthday' was a far more fun affair...

brizzledrizzle Fri 14-Dec-18 09:32:06

Xmas Eve birthdays are dire. Everybody is busy and it's all 'not now, I'm trying to get the turkey ready' when you want to do anything with parents when you are a child and you can never have your party on your birthday. Oh and 'no cake because you'll have a lot of sweets/cake tomorrow' - one year they put candles on the xmas cake!

Ladymargarethall Fri 14-Dec-18 09:32:17

Our wedding anniversary is just before Christmas and that has proved more of a pain. No possibility of a tete a tete dinner when carols are blaring out and everywhere is full of office parties!

Socksey Fri 14-Dec-18 09:32:18

My sister has a December birthday and it's a mix of things.... sometimes good, sometimes a bit dodgy and sometimes combined.... but at least people remember....
On the other hand, February..... the month people try to forget.... often no present at all, even as a small child and later even my parents forget.... although they always remember my siblingsxabd would be seriously hurt and offended if I forgot theirs 🤔

SoyDora Fri 14-Dec-18 09:33:01

I’ve also had lots of comments about how selfish I am to conceive a baby who is due around Christmas because they’ll always have rubbish birthdays (from strangers rather than friends and family). These things can’t always be planned to that degree.

Abra1de Fri 14-Dec-18 09:33:21

I’m a December birthday and it can be quite useful as an adult to have larger joint presents.

OkMaybeNot Fri 14-Dec-18 09:35:22

Yanbu.

My birthday is the 20th. Never had a birthday cake in my life, never had proper presents, never had a party...

And even though I'm an adult (lol) now, I find I'm just used to not really having a birthday now so I'm not bothered about it. Just another day!

Babdoc Fri 14-Dec-18 09:36:15

My youngest has a Dec 23rd birthday. When she was a child it was great, as there was always a pantomime available to take her to as a treat, and the shops were crammed with a fab choice of toys and presents.
I always wrapped her things in birthday paper, and we had two trees - a Xmas tree in the sitting room for the Xmas presents, and a smaller “DDmas” tree in the kids playroom, with her birthday presents under it!
Now she’s an adult it’s a bit of a hassle for her trying to get friends available for a birthday night out so close to Xmas - they’re all sick of office parties and pre Xmas celebrations.

Deathraystare Fri 14-Dec-18 09:36:28

Not many people remember my early January birthday including friends and family well who else is there??!), plus everyone is still not going out because of the time of year so I am usually on my own.

Mind you it was my brother's birthday in APril that mum always forgot a cake for and used to run out for a Battenberg. It later became a tradition and his wife I think kept it up!!!

NC4Now Fri 14-Dec-18 09:36:36

My mum used to rewrap any that came in Christmas paper.
As an adult, yeah - I get a bit miffed at everyone having big birthday nights out or weekends away, when I struggle to squeeze in a mid-week lunch off the Xmas menu between nativity plays and works dos.

TTCers - take March off.

Broken11Girl Fri 14-Dec-18 09:36:42

Oh that's shit. It is a difficult time of year financially but FGS, a sheet of birthday wrapping paper and a card can be bought for pence. Presents can be pound shop or value or Fb selling/ EBay or made. It's not ok to just not make an effort. My DM is December born, it sucks. We wouldn't dare don't make less effort.

Camomila Fri 14-Dec-18 09:37:21

It’ll get better when they are older. My birthday is between Christmas and New Year and everyone always wants to go out for it as it’s the only time all my old school friends are back in our home town visiting family.

Since teens onward DM has always taking me shopping in the sales as my birthday present.

Kikithewitch Fri 14-Dec-18 09:38:40

My birthday is early January, when I was younger I either got crap that people picked up in the sale or a regifted present. I hated it.
Now I’m older I’m not so bothered and my friends and I don’t really celebrate birthdays unless it’s a milestone one.

CatherineMaitland Fri 14-Dec-18 09:38:58

I have a December birthday and love it (27th) but my parents worked really hard to make sure I didn't lose out. They never wrapped things up in Christmas paper and would send instructions to relatives also (probably would be judged as cheeky fuckery here). Sometimes I would ask for a joint present myself if I really wanted something big like a new bike. The only slight botheration is that things are often closed - even this year I wanted to go to a particular restaurant - but they are closed for a holiday. Ah well, can't really blame them for wanting a holiday too. In general I look on it as an extra day of holiday fun, since I can always take the day off work.

dinosaurglitterrepublic Fri 14-Dec-18 09:39:20

A know a few people with Xmas birthdays who celebrate them at the beginning of December to ensure sufficient separation between the birthday and Xmas. Seems to work well. Irrespective of when it’s celebrated, a joint gift (unless genuinely the value of the separate gifts) or Xmas wrapping paper on a birthday gift is just sloppy and rude.

Charmatt Fri 14-Dec-18 09:40:06

My Dad's birthday was on Christmas Day and while we always gave two presents each to him and made some separation, he always said we didn't need to - because of his upbringing and the expectation of having a birthday too had been taken away from him. I always felt for him even as a child that he only had one day of presents.

His parents never gave him birthday presents - they were always no more than hi9s siblings and expected to be for birthday and Christmas together.

Ilikeknitting Fri 14-Dec-18 09:40:24

My brother has his birthday 23rd December, he always had rubbish birthday presents, no party etc.
My friend has a December 25th ds, when he was little she celebrated his half birthday on June 25th every year. He had a party, received nice presents and was made to feel special, just as a child should be on their birthday (or half birthday). Would you consider celebrating your dc birthday on the same number but in June? It’s a solution.

crochetmonkey74 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:40:33

My friend celebrates her late December birthday in June instead!

Naveloranges Fri 14-Dec-18 09:40:34

My family are pretty good on the whole. It’s friends that are not very kind. I have a supposedly good friend who splashes the cash on all and sundry for their birthday and Christmas yet to me she says ‘I’m not getting you a Christmas present as well’.I’m slowly distancing myself....

time4chocolate Fri 14-Dec-18 09:41:06

I’m a 17th December birthday and it sometimes worked out well for me. I remember I coveted a Sony Walkman (early 80s) and they were quite pricey but, I had the option of having it as a Birthday/Xmas present which I was more than happy with, if I had say a July birthday I wouldn’t have got it at all. The same applied when I wanted Roller Boots (which to this day was one of the best presents I ever got and I lived in them😁). I do get it though, generally it’s not the best time of year for Birthdays.

Hippychickster Fri 14-Dec-18 09:43:36

It's my birthday tomorrow and DD's on Monday. DS was end of November. I remember thinking how crap it was as a child and then I did it to both my children!

Although exH was in the forces and they were both born 9 months after he got back from a tour 😂.

I don't mind it now and nor do they. They are in their 20s now and so it's more about doing stuff together than presents.

Davros Fri 14-Dec-18 09:44:30

Mine's late January and I quite like it. Everyone's emerging from Xmas/NY and school return. I can get all the stuff I wanted for Xmas and didn't get. Going out for a posh meal and/or a show or something is a real treat that everyone is ready for. The only problem is it's a long way until the next Xmas

Bogiesaremyonlyfriend Fri 14-Dec-18 09:45:52

My dh is Dec 29th and his mum always used to take him and his brothers to the pantomime consequently he hates birthdays (his own, he always makes sure dds and mine are special) and pantomimes! We always try and make his special for him but he isn't interested any more. Dd is January and luckily we have only ever had one joint Christmas/birthday gift but the giver checked with me that it was ok and spent double on the one gift which was a big lego set dd wanted which would have been over budget if she'd had separate. It is very hard to choose gifts for her birthday though as she has everything at Christmas! Then by June there is a list of things she would like.

chicken75 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:47:05

My birthday is on Christmas Eve. A lot of people forget as they are so busy. It was upsetting sometimes as a child as people have so much on that birthday parties aren't important.
My parents always gave me a little something on my sister's birthday too though, grin

NothingOnTellyAgain Fri 14-Dec-18 09:47:15

Not RTFT

It's my birthday today!

YANBU I always got "joint xmas and bisthday" presents which of course were never the equivalent of my brother who got a set in Summer and Xmas.

Also get cards a lot which are xmas cards with "and birthday" added.

Fortunately I dont' care about cards and am well used to my younger brother getting preferential treatment :D

NothingOnTellyAgain Fri 14-Dec-18 09:49:14

Shepherdspieisminging

OMG snap snap snap how weird! Our posts are almost identical!

Happy birthday!!!!

NothingOnTellyAgain Fri 14-Dec-18 09:49:46

My bro is in June as well I should mention.

Freaky.

Missingmysanity Fri 14-Dec-18 09:51:48

My DS has his birthday on the 26th. It was always so awful becuase family and friends were away or tired from Xmas day celebrations. So I now do a summer celebration in June/July. We have a BBQ cake and presents and he still gets ridiculously excited in his late teens smile

We still get him some little presents on his actual birthday and make a big deal of it but he understands that he still gets his day, it is just a little different from others.

smile

Chapterandverse Fri 14-Dec-18 09:52:01

Ds is 24th Dec and dd is 27th Dec.
I'm early January. My brother is today!

And I can guarantee we have never done the whole "birthday and Christmas" thing.

Well, my brother does for my son (he is his God father) but it's more of a running joke as he is more than good to him throughout the year.

Dd is mid teens and worries when she is 18 that her party will be overshadowed by Christmas parties. She has always managed parties but ds hasn't had one since primary school.

llangennith Fri 14-Dec-18 09:52:09

Mine's a week before Christmas and though my parents did things like not putting up any Christmas cards or decs or the tree till after my day it didn't feel nearly as special as my sister's birthday in April.
My three DC all have July or August birthdays and love it. They can enjoy Christmas fun then half-way through the year they can enjoy Birthday fun. Celebrations can be outdoors and they can have summer-type presents.
I hated having to wait a whole year for presents.

TimeIhadaNameChange Fri 14-Dec-18 09:55:25

DP's is the first of Jan, which means people really are too hungover and out-partied to bother. We're usually not together, but I remember one year determinedly making him a special dinner and a cake despite really not feeling great and him having gone back to bed to sleep it off! I did it though.

We always make a big thing of Christmas and birthdays, buying multiple presents, and it can be a bit of a pain to think of two lots he would like, but I've managed it so far. And yes, birthday presents definitely not in Christmas paper (though I have been known to use Xmas paper for birthdays in the middle of the year!)

Itwasntme101 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:56:45

My dd birthday is Christmas day. Luckily our family still get her seperate Christmas and birthday presents apart from my dad. But that's only when we've asked for a "big" present from him (he asks for suggestions within his budget he's set).
I did have a bit of a rant to my oh the other day after going into a 4th shop for party invites and there being none how the shops seem to forget people still have birthdays in December

MamaHechtick Fri 14-Dec-18 09:58:19

YANBU.
Ds's birthday is the first week in December. I didn't think that was too close to Christmas but he's had so far, birthday presents wrapped in Christmas wrapping, a Christmas model thing with gold coins, and this year an advent calendar (he had a few days to open as a catch up) as a birthday gift.
The birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper he didn't want to open as he thought they were for Christmas.

My own birthday is usually the same time as Easter. As a child I would get Easter eggs as a birthday present.

bibizizi Fri 14-Dec-18 09:59:43

My Birthdays early Jan and for my 40th DH didn't even get me a card because "I spent loads on you at Xmas" gutted....

Dagnabit Fri 14-Dec-18 10:00:14

My ds' birthday is on the 16th and we're very careful to ensure it's celebrated properly. He gets proper birthday presents, cards, balloons and I make a cake. Thankfully, all our relatives and friends make sure he gets a gift or money in a birthday card. We do have issues with parties because his classmates are busy with Christmas related activities and most don't even bother to rsvp but that's another thread This year, we are going to the cinema and for a meal but next year will be a party but we're planning to do that in November or January to make it less stressful!

Judashascomeintosomemoney Fri 14-Dec-18 10:02:03

Complete opposite experience here. DD1 birthday two days after Christmas and she has always got tons of great presents from friends and family precisely because, I think, they want to make sure it doesn’t get swallowed by Christmas. She’s obviously always on school holiday on her birthday and the house always looks lovely because the decorations are up etc , I always cook whatever she fancies for dinner because by then we’ve had enough of the leftovers and family are always over. I feel sorry for DD2, who has a February birthday, in contrast! grin

MaryDollNesbitt Fri 14-Dec-18 10:02:18

My nephew's BD is at the beginning of December. Yes, it would be tight to go out and spend extra ££'s in the immediate run up to Christmas, but I avoid the additional expense in December by picking things up throughout the year in sales. It doesn't require that much effort to buy a few bits here and there to put by for the wee soul. I think I'm actually MORE conscious of remembering him because his birthday's at a time of year when people make the Christmas excuse sad

CluedoIsMyFavGame Fri 14-Dec-18 10:03:09

I'm a very early Jan birthday and friends were happy to come out again to a less busy pub or club (only the millennium was a total disaster, the club was empty, I think about 20 people were there in an area with a capacity for 1000s!), I haven't done too badly for gifts except an awful last minute random gift from the PIL one year grin, they had obviously forgotten. My mum is also a very early Jan birthday, so I think she goes all out to ensure I have a separate birthday.

Luckily, in a small family, I got lovely birthday gifts and the option of larger joint Christmas and birthday ones. I actually think my brother (who's a summer birthday) was bit jealous as he didn't really get the joint present option.

DD's birthday is in the school summer holidays so it's quite difficult to get friends to come to a party, we've moved her birthday party forward to June or July instead.

It doesn't bother me now. I have some lovely friends who always remember.

Dulra Fri 14-Dec-18 10:03:21

That is crap. My Dad's birthday is Dec 21st I have never ever got him crap presents or lumped them in with Christmas neither has my mum or my siblings. He is 70 this year and we are going all out for him.

TheKrakening3 Fri 14-Dec-18 10:03:59

DD2 is Christmas Day. We make a big effort to make sure her birthday presents are clearly separate with birthday wrappings and cards. She gets to open her birthday presents before anyone opens Christmas presents. It is ok while she is young (turning 4) but it will get harder as she is older and becomes more aware. Although she has had tantrums on DS’s and DD1’s birthdays as she can’t understand why she doesn’t get a present too, when they get presents on her birthday.

Cleo18 Fri 14-Dec-18 10:04:25

I agree with you BUT - the real problem is the ridiculous fuss we all expect to be made for birthdays and various other celebrations.

My birthday as a kid was very low key. Now kids want big parties, loads of presents and themed stuff, activities as well a "family party". Adult friends expect a whole week of drinks and meals and presents and fuss.

Christmas used to be two or at most three days - now it is two weeks of again, drinks and parties and events.

Same with Mother's Day, Easter, Valentines Day - all of which used to be really low key but are now major productions.

My DD is a Valentine's baby and my DS very near Xmas. We jsut keep it simple and make them both feel special - that's all. But I do understand.... it is shit for kids sometimes.

Drummingisfun Fri 14-Dec-18 10:05:28

Reading this is making me sad. One of my dx has a very early Jan birth because they turned up at 36 weeks.
Now I'm worried they are in for a life of shit birthdays sad

thecatsthecats Fri 14-Dec-18 10:06:47

I make this appeal a lot at this time of year.

DON'T BY DECEMBER BIRTHDAY PEOPLE SCARVES. DON'T. JUST DON'T.

I get 2-3 a year. Often from the same bloody offenders - I've received 10-12 from my husband's family over the years.

I know some people will come along and say it's nice to receive a scarf, but there's just too high a chance that Dec babies get given a scarf by default. It's a pain.

CharminglyGawky Fri 14-Dec-18 10:07:05

I have a mid December birthday and my DS has a very early January one.

Not everyone is rubbish with gifts, I've always had birthday paper and birthday gifts apart from the odd distant relative who didn't really know me and so it never upset me. It was kinda handy a couple of times as I received a few big budget busting gifts as a joint birthday/Christmas but as they were huge wow presents I really really didn't mind! The 2 I remember is a Nokia 3310 for my eleventh birthday and then for Christmas I just got a case and box of chocs that was from my Nan and was the first time in my life I was truly speechless! The other was a beautiful coat that I adored but was really expensive I negotiated that as a birthday and Christmas thing from my mum. 12 years on it doesn't fit but still have and love it!

I do worry that my son's birthday in very early Jan kinda sucks so we are starting a family tradition of going on a short holiday for it. He will be 2 this year and we are going the week after his birthday to make the most of term time prices but as he gets old enough to understand and when school gets in the way we will go away over his actual birthday. It is very important to me that his birthday is still special. I am lucky that most of my closest family have a similar mindset and no rubbish joint or Christmas related tat has come his way yet and I don't expect it to!

BillywigSting Fri 14-Dec-18 10:07:57

Yanbu.

My cousin and my dad both have birthdays in December. It IS an expensive time of year. So their birthday presents get bought in the summer/autumn/as and when I see something they might like.

It's not exactly like its a surprise when the date is so it's not that difficult to plan ahead.

SprusselBrout Fri 14-Dec-18 10:12:10

I had an (expensive) 21st birthday party this week - room hire, food, cake all ordered - and less than half of the people who responded that they were coming bothered to show up. Only a handful texted me. A combination of shit people and a shit season to have a birthday, I reckon.

winsinbin Fri 14-Dec-18 10:14:26

My sister’s is on Dec 31st. Normally we try to commemorate it in a big way but last year I screwed up. She had had a totally awful year so I went all out in her Christmas gift (when normally we don’t bother)and then totally forgot her birthday. Not even a card. I have a lot of making up to do.

chunkyjumper Fri 14-Dec-18 10:14:29

My birthday is the 16th, my mums the 9th, brother is the 11th and my daughter the 19th! December is mega busy and expensive in our family! My brother and I always got separate birthday/Xmas presents and still got parties I think most years.
When I first started dating my husband he used to say ‘I’ve just got you something tiny for birthday as I’ve got you a decent gift for xmas’. Only did that the first couple of years, he knows better now! 🤣

Witchend Fri 14-Dec-18 10:15:13

I think there's bad points about different times of the year.
Summer holidays birthdays have no one around (and often present is "oh I picked this up from cypress" type thing)
My dm's June and she once commented she had exams on her birthday every year at school unless it was Sunday, for example. And she said presents from family were often we'll take you (and the rest of the family) out for a picnic type.

My dc quite often get joint presents, even though they're nowhere near December. They know if they want something bigger than normal then they get it joint (for example my parents are getting dd2 theatre tickets for something she really wants to see, which is joint birthday and Christmas).
As a child I once had something which was 2 birthday/2 Christmas. I wanted it, and that was agreed as fair enough. Didn't mind it (until db got given the same without it even being a present because he "needed" it)

I fount there were the number of people who thought they could get me and dsis a joint present and dbro a separate one. I don't think the joint present was bigger either. Me and dsis have very different tastes so it never pleased both of us. And it was always put in dsis' room so I never got to use it-even if it was more my taste anyway.

Sunshineonleaf Fri 14-Dec-18 10:17:43

DD's is 2nd January. To add insult to injury people forget to post cards in time to arrive before the bank holiday. When she was little we would hand out birthday party invitations before they broke up for Christmas and most people would "forget".
I did used to do a "summer holiday" party in July. No presents but lots of party games and cake.

WhirlwindHugs Fri 14-Dec-18 10:18:38

DS is a Christmas birthday - this is one of those areas where I really appreciate my in laws (who are great generally) because they also have Christmas birthdays in their family and totally get it - they always make a big effort.

Plus sides are everyone is off work so we have a big family gathering on his birthday.

We do his party as early in Dec as possible though, otherwise we found the invited kids parents would forget about it and not turn up.

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