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AIBU?

Christmas do cheaters!

333 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:28

Just curious as to whether this is the norm

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do!

On the same night of the Christmas do, another woman kissed a man who just got married last month. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone! When I asked her about it she said “awk it’s just one of the those things.” She also cheated on her partner earlier in the year with a different man we work with.

Another younger girl who just started in the office last month is also suspected of being overly friendly with another married man. Everyone suspects an affair but this has never been confirmed.

Thing is - none of their partner’s know. I know this for a fact from various conversations throughout the year.

And my male boss has admitted to fancying someone else in our office. He always says that if he got the chance to have a night with her he’d take it (again he has been married for a long time)

Am I the only faithful person out there. How do people do this with no conscience. I would feel wick if I did that on my dp.

OP posts:
Deadbudgie · 13/12/2018 15:45

Yep, this sort of thing is absolutely rife in my profession (accountancy). It’s why I would never marry someone in that kind of profession.

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 13/12/2018 15:49

It is rife in any profession.

I think there is a world of difference between an impulsive drunken snog when you are bladdered and an ongoing affair. I mean, neither one is a good thing and would hurt tremendously but I think the stupid impulsive snog would be easier to get over than a longstanding affair.

There is something about Christmas Do's that bring out the worst in some people.

mbosnz · 13/12/2018 15:50

I worked for a large insurance company and my boss frankly told me that the company function was sans partners so people could cop off with someone from work with impunity.

I worked for a law firm where it was pretty much assumed, particularly by the males, that nobody would be sleeping in their own bed that night.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2018 15:53

Not where I work now, no.

But it's been rife in the past, especially when colleagues have been on overnight training courses/work placements.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 13/12/2018 15:54

It doesn't happen in my profession. I am not sure I could work with a group of people who had such poor morals, even if it is what is expected these people are making an active choice. I would find it incredibly difficult to show any respect for them and find it hard not to inform their poor partners. Xmas Sad

SunnySomer · 13/12/2018 15:54

I’ve stopped going to Christmas do’s because they’re pretty sleazy. Or used to be when I used to go to them. (IT). You see the worst side of your colleagues.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2018 15:55

I worked for a large insurance company and my boss frankly told me that the company function was sans partners so people could cop off with someone from work with impunity.

Yes! Every year my friend's work do is like that.

It's held at a hotel - dinner, dancing etc but X amount of rooms are booked by the company and most are not used overnight, they're used for a couple of hours by 'couples' copping off with each other.

Suziepoozie · 13/12/2018 15:57

I’m shocked that accountants are so racy! But I can’t believe this, it makes me sad. Christmas is meant to be for family, not copping off with ransoms from the office!

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:59

It always makes me think, their poor partners are at home and have no idea.

They’ve probably bought them really nice Christmas pressies. Wasting their money on someone who has just cheated.

It seems to be so acceptable. I find it disgusting

OP posts:
MrsMWA · 13/12/2018 16:04

It is like this in Dh’s profession, I’m always hoping he will run off with someone. He never does, maybe this year. Fingers crossed!

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 13/12/2018 16:04

It's not like that at all workplaces, there have only been 2 confirmed affairs at the various places I've worked. Neither had anything to do with the Christmas party. There were I'm sure other affairs but people had enough shame and discretion to keep it on the DL.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 13/12/2018 16:05

Completely unheard of where I work. It would never happen.

LettuceP · 13/12/2018 16:08

Very common where I work. Not just Christmas do's either, any staff night out. Cheating is so common. I don't get it, i just couldn't do it.

ambereeree · 13/12/2018 16:08

Thats why lots of firms stipulate no partners at the christmas party. Affairs are rife in the workplace but alcohol fuelled Christmas party sees all inhibitions shed.

Cherries101 · 13/12/2018 16:09

It’s rife in banking / Big-4 consultancy amongst people of a certain age.

ambereeree · 13/12/2018 16:10

@MrsMWA hahahaha

bingirl · 13/12/2018 16:11

@MrsMWA that's made me chuckle

ladydickisathingapparently · 13/12/2018 16:11

I’m a lawyer and I feel like this is par for the course in the big law firms I’ve worked in. Not me I hasten to add. Been with DH nearly 30 years and I’ve no interest in anyone else.

HildaZelda · 13/12/2018 16:12

Not so much in my current job, but that's probably because it's about 95% male dominated so unless a lot of those men are gay, then there aren't going to be too many affairs.
Saw a bit of it in my previous job though, and not just at Xmas either. One woman I worked with left her husband of 5 months for a guy who worked with us, but in a different department.

BrexitDestruction · 13/12/2018 16:16

Well this is a comforting thread to read when it's your husband's Christmas do tonight, without partners and they've provided hotel rooms for them overnight. Shock

Justins · 13/12/2018 16:17

alcohol and opportunity. Year long tension....if you can't tell the truth in christmas then when and all that...love actually playing in the background.....cheesy songs...lingerie ads... all lead to this Grin

GraceMarks · 13/12/2018 16:18

Never marry a police officer unless you work with them on the same shift pattern - they are the absolute worst for copping off (ha!) with each other during nights out. They can also usually drink about five times as much as any normal person, which helps blur the boundaries.

In my current job, nobody would do that. It's civil service and everyone is very conscientious!

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ThistleAmore · 13/12/2018 16:20

I work in an historically male-dominated STEM profession and we pat ourselves on the back for talking to each other, much less anything more primal.

As others have said, I'm genuinely astonished to discover that accountancy as a profession has such a racy reputation. Not what I would have expected at all.

Ethel80 · 13/12/2018 16:20

This was very common when I worked in finance, Christmas parties were carnage.

sabrinathethirtysomethingwitch · 13/12/2018 16:21

@MrsMWA 😂

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