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Messaged friends at 0740 this morning

(513 Posts)
Idontlikecheesecake Tue 11-Dec-18 16:15:47

We’re moving house and had an offer accepted yesterday so im very excited. I was looking through my phone when i woke up this morning and thought id told my friends in a group chat, but i hadnt so i sent them a message. It was 0740, a time when most people are getting up/already up getting ready for work or getting kids ready for school etc so I thought it was ok.

Only one friend had seen it and she sent me a message saying ‘couldnt you have sent this a bit later when we’re more awake?’ I joked that im on the night shift tonight so i could send a message at 3am, and then she actually had a go at me over messenger (she even swore) saying how she got kicked in the leg by a horse and wanted to have a lie in and it wasn’t the right time for her phone to be pinging all the time.

I just said I wasn’t to know she’d been injured, it was a reasonable time as lots of people are getting ready for work etc, and if she didnt want to be disturbed she shpuld have her phone on silent or whatever. To which she replied she doesn’t normally get messages at that time so why should she? She then removed herself from the group and sent a mutual friend a messaged saying i had annoyed her.

It just feels like a really petty and childish argument. To me it feels like she’s dictating to everyone else when we should be sending messages and shes speaking for them about what a reasonable time should be. And im annoyed that she had a go at me over something so petty

Its also not just this argument. Shes blamed me for stuff before. Like just after Christmas we were all going round a friends house for takeaway and she wanted to go put for a meal, and she didnt want to come because i had upset her. All i did was explain to her that we cant really afford to go out for a meal and a takeaway is easier because of childcare etc

She also often declines invites to do things or cancels at the last minute wih some crappy excus. And then when we don’t invite her, she’ll write a passive aggressive message like ‘gee thanks for the invite’

Shes a fairweather friend and im done with her. AIBU? Ive been fed up for a while but feel like this is the last straw

InfiniteSheldon Tue 11-Dec-18 16:16:56

It's early to send a text and a quick apology would have been a better response

Calvinsmam Tue 11-Dec-18 16:16:57

She should put it on silent if she doesn’t want to be disturbed. How are you supposed to know about her horse.

PickAChew Tue 11-Dec-18 16:17:28

She is not your friend and needs to learn how to use the dnd settings on her phone.

BertramKibbler Tue 11-Dec-18 16:18:24

I have my phone on silent until I’m ready to be disturbed by it

easyandy101 Tue 11-Dec-18 16:19:19

I get messages from friends at any time of the day, one especially will message 24hrs a day

I put my phone on silent like a normal person

Chasemechaseme Tue 11-Dec-18 16:19:21

Why would you have your phone on loud when you’re trying to sleep?! She’s making a drama out of nothing. Better off without her

Duchessgummybuns Tue 11-Dec-18 16:19:23

Wtf... why can’t she put her phone on silent? I do this otherwise I’d be pinged all the time by emails, twitter etc

Sparklingbrook Tue 11-Dec-18 16:19:24

It's fine to send a text at 7.40am. And you aren't a mind reader.

She should put her phone on silent. Is she a bit jealous of your new house by any chance.

WinterfellWench Tue 11-Dec-18 16:19:43

7.40am isn't too early to send a text IMO. If people get 'pinged' and woken up by notifications on their phone, they should switch off the notifications. OR shocker switch the pissing thing off - or leave it in the kitchen or lounge - whilst they're asleep! hmm

Sounds like your friend is pissed off in general and is taking it out on you.

I'd given her a wide berth if I were you.

londonrach Tue 11-Dec-18 16:20:32

Strange so called friends. Congratulations op. Vvv exciting ist it!

Hohocabbage Tue 11-Dec-18 16:20:55

Sometimes you need your phone on to potentially be disturbed by some people (your mum for example) but not others. There may be some special setting to allow for that but most people won’t know it, just silent or on!

BigSandyBalls2015 Tue 11-Dec-18 16:20:56

7.40 on a weekday, that's really isn't early at all. She sounds a drama llama

mansneverhot Tue 11-Dec-18 16:21:02

She sounds like a drama queen. But if you're close friends then these things happen sometimes.

iPhones have a 'do not disturb' setting where it doesn't show you messages etc that come through in that time, it's a little moon symbol. I have it set to midnight-7am daily so that I'm spared from the occasional drunk ramblings from my wilder friends.

DoneLikeAKipper Tue 11-Dec-18 16:21:18

It just feels like a really petty and childish argument.

Well this sums it up. To be honest, I wouldn’t send a text that early unless I wanted a quick reply from someone I know is definitely up. Yes, usually people are but before 8am most aren’t with it enough to answer anything that doesn’t require immediate attention.

Quite honestly, it just reads like you don’t like her, and she doesn’t like you. If you don’t want to be friends, then don’t be friends.

Calvinsmam Tue 11-Dec-18 16:22:03

My mam senses when I’m having a poo. It’s an amazing skill. As soon as my bum hits the seat she rings me.
I obviously just let it ring but it disturbs my poop every time.

Not her fault, i put it on silent when I go to the loo now.

tryinganewname Tue 11-Dec-18 16:23:00

Bloody hell, I text and get texts at any time of the day/night. Surely she puts her phone on silent?

Also, 7.40am is a perfectly acceptable time to send a message. She's bonkers.

Bestseller Tue 11-Dec-18 16:24:53

It's all a bit of a nonsense but a better response would have been to say sorry and move on with your day

ExplodedPeach Tue 11-Dec-18 16:25:05

YANBU! 7.40 is a perfectly normal time to send a message and anyone who doesn't turn off notifications (especially from group conversations!) is an idiot.

I send messages at times that are convenient to me, and my friends pick them up and respond at times that are convenient to them. That's exactly why they're better than a phone call!

Nodancingshoes Tue 11-Dec-18 16:25:21

It's not early - I was already at work! She doesn't sound like much of a friend. I think I would have put a row of laughing faces back to that thinking it was a joke!

Sparklesocks Tue 11-Dec-18 16:25:44

you can put your phone on silent (except the alarm) and a lot of smartphones now have a feature where no notifications will come through before your alarm - so lots of ways to avoid it.

Sounds like she was being a bit of a drama queen and doubled down when she didn’t get the response she wanted

SantyClaws Tue 11-Dec-18 16:26:07

Surely the whole point of texting and not calling is so the recipient can read and respond at their leisure?

DH and I send and rec texts/whatsapps all times of the day and night (family in diff time zones). That's what the silence button is for.

Usernumbers1234 Tue 11-Dec-18 16:26:21

Wonder about the silenced phones, I’ve got older parents and would be mortified if I missed them trying to contact me overnight.

But equally, 730 is kind of early for an “I’m excited about my new house” message, not exactly urgent was it?

Personally I have most of my what’s app groups that are for social stuff and chit chat on mute all the time, I can see I’ve got unread messages on my phone and read them when I’ve got time. Other stuff like parents will ping all night just in case they need me.

dangerrabbit Tue 11-Dec-18 16:26:25

YANBU, why didn’t she have her phone on silent?

Find an excuse a new WhatsApp group with only your normal friends in it

dangerrabbit Tue 11-Dec-18 16:26:35

*to start

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