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DH does very little with Xmas prep

(67 Posts)
Notinlalaland Tue 11-Dec-18 15:49:03

Just a moan really. I’ve bought 99.9% of presents, will wrap and post etc. I will do all xmas cards, food shopping.
DH is just not interested and thinks it’s all a massive hype/consumerism.
Have D.C. aged 6 and 8.
Just fed up with him making no effort at all.

adaline Tue 11-Dec-18 15:53:05

I agree with your DH to be honest blush I see far too many people stress themselves out over Christmas!

Just worry about your family and let him deal with the rest. If DH wants to sent his sister a card that's his choice, I'm certainly not going to worry about it!

Believeitornot Tue 11-Dec-18 15:56:43

I’m guessing he’s not even bothering for the dcs.

What a shame. Consumerism is a crappy excuse. It’s not about buying loads of stuff but about thinking about others and what they might like.

FamilyOfAliens Tue 11-Dec-18 15:59:34

Maybe when it comes round to his birthday you could decide you’ve had enough of consumerism too?

ZacPosenatemyhamster Tue 11-Dec-18 16:01:26

His excuse may be different but in my circle of friends it's not unusual for women to do all the Christmas prep. It sucks

Myheartbelongsto Tue 11-Dec-18 16:01:39

Stop being a martyr.

Write a to do list and then split it.

Calzone Tue 11-Dec-18 16:02:59

Such a lot of faff for just one day 🙄

Very glad I don’t celebrate it.

Notinlalaland Tue 11-Dec-18 16:03:36

Do otter peoples partners get more involved with stuff?
It’s not the doing part so much as the thinking. I’m tired of having to think of everything.

babysharkah Tue 11-Dec-18 16:04:22

I deal with family he deals with his. I bought stuff for the kids still wanted to spend a bit more so left it to him. Jesus Christ the questions - just make a bloody decision!!

blueskiesandforests Tue 11-Dec-18 16:04:34

Is he not involved/ interested in the DC's presents?

I agree that "Christmas prep" is largely unnecessary busy work unless you want to do it, but some things such as your own children's presents should interest both parents not as "Christmas prep" so much as being significant to the DC therefore somewhat significant to both parents!

Food shopping I regard no differently from year round food shopping - it should be shared or not according to your usual division of labour.

Presents and cards for wider family - if his side don't do them then respect to them, but you shouldn't be doing them for him for his side nor expecting him to be particularly involved in your Christmas cards to your old school friends and great aunts etc.

PickAChew Tue 11-Dec-18 16:05:14

Are doing all the buying for his family? If so, stop.

Snowydaysaregreat Tue 11-Dec-18 16:05:26

My dp don't. I ask for his input on ideas and he leaves it to me. I like it that way. He writes one card that's mine..

adaline Tue 11-Dec-18 16:06:00

DH sorts out his family, I do mine. Everything gets signed from both of us. We have no DC's yet so no issues there.

There's only two of us so the food shop will be done probably the 23rd of December - we'll just the bits for a roast onto our normal shop which we'll do together.

No stress, no fuss. On the day we'll go for a long dog walk with the hound, maybe play board games or watch films, eat, have some drinks and just relax!

boymum9 Tue 11-Dec-18 16:07:04

Dh does nothing really in regards to presents, wrapping, cards etc, it's fine I don't mind doing it, we don't go CRAZY at xmas but there is a lot to buy for family, which is mainly his to be honest, but if it were left to him to buy for all his nieces and sister etc I'd feel bad for them...! Haha.

He loves getting involved and buying and decorating the tree with the kids, he'll partake in anything Christmassy if given the chance, and to be fair on him if I wrote a list and asked him to do half he'd gladly do it, I'm just happy enough doing it myself.

Isadora2007 Tue 11-Dec-18 16:07:29

Have you sat and discussed together what you both agree needs done? Tbh I do most of the Xmas prep- but DH works to earn the money I spend, he entertains the kids so I can wrap and prep when needed, he is appreciative and I love Xmas.
IF I wasn’t happy with the balance I’d talk about it LONG before Xmas and agree beforehand what we agreed needed done and who would be doing it.

Confusedbeetle Tue 11-Dec-18 16:08:30

I have done everything for 45 years. If I didnt nothing would happen at all

Nicknacky Tue 11-Dec-18 16:09:55

I do nearly all of our Christmas organisation although h does the food. I find it easier to keep track if I am buying everything and would get confused or forget things if h started getting involved.

ChristmasFlary Tue 11-Dec-18 16:13:46

Do you both work FT? If one of you doesn't then that person should be the one who has the time to get the gifts whilst the kids are in school.

I have done mine pretty much all online this year.

BusterGonad Tue 11-Dec-18 16:13:57

I think husbands doing zero prep is why many wife's can't be fucked with it any more. I know I no longer bother and my life is so much better!

blueskiesandforests Tue 11-Dec-18 16:15:53

I do agree with "it's not the doing part so much as the thinking" in a more general year round way though.

It depends whether it's year round that you do the mental load, in which case YANBU, or just that you're very into Christmas and he isn't.

GodrestyemerrySchadenfreud Tue 11-Dec-18 16:28:46

My DH doesn't get much involved either, except to writ out cards for the people he wants to send one to.

His justification is that it's just a "big Sunday dinner". And you know what?

He's right! grin

Daphne21 Tue 11-Dec-18 16:29:18

When my hubby & kids stopped helping me do Christmas prep & left it all to me I stopped too, they didn’t even notice there was no tree up or decorations for two years & never asked why..I’d been going through all the hell of doing it myself for years for nothing 🙄

Holidayshopping Tue 11-Dec-18 16:31:09

When my hubby & kids stopped helping me do Christmas prep & left it all to me I stopped too, they didn’t even notice there was no tree up or decorations for two years & never asked why..I’d been going through all the hell of doing it myself for years for nothing 🙄

Did you stop the presents and Xmas dinner as well?!

florriepeck Tue 11-Dec-18 16:32:12

Calzone, may I ask why you don't celebrate Christmas?
I love the idea of that.

MiggledyHiggins Tue 11-Dec-18 16:36:07

We divide it up. He does all the gifts for his side, and the Santa /toy shop, collect and wrap. I do all the planning for the food prep. I love cooking and planning meals, so it's an arrangement that suits us.

Other stuff - we don't do cards. We pick out the tree as a family. He puts it up, DS and I decorate it. We aren't overly consumerist - my side don't bother with gifts except we chip in for DM, and get our godchild a small gift like a book or something, his side do a kris kingle and also only buy for godchildren.

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