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Not picking people up for xmas?

(399 Posts)
StephenQueenBooks Mon 10-Dec-18 07:35:11

I have been asked to pick up my brother, sil and their two kids (3 and 2) on Xmas day as they can't drive/get public transport. I don't drink so fine with this as my mum wants a tipple (I live with her just out of uni).

When I spoke to my brother about it last night I said we should all fit in even with the carseats and he said he didn't have any.

I told him I'm not having two toddlers in my car not in carseats because it's not safe and I don't want the fine. I said you either get car seats or you'll have to come a different day when you can get the bus. My mum is backing me up however him and my sil are annoyed saying it's their children and they don't mind them sitting on their knees.

Aibu to say no carseats, no lift? I've only just started driving last month and lifts are the bane of my life!

Sparkletastic Mon 10-Dec-18 07:36:11

You are absolutely right. Stick to your guns. No seats no lift.

mugalug Mon 10-Dec-18 07:36:47

YADNBU tell them to book a taxi that has car seats. You would be breaking the law if you took them.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Mon 10-Dec-18 07:36:49


EvaHarknessRose Mon 10-Dec-18 07:36:55


Madeline88 Mon 10-Dec-18 07:37:52

That’s crazy! They need to book a taxi, you shouldn’t have to take on that responsibility.

GhostSauce Mon 10-Dec-18 07:38:08

100% YANBU.

If they want to break the law and endanger their children they can do it in their own car.

flowery Mon 10-Dec-18 07:38:23

YANBU, of course. You are right not to want to endanger the lives of their children, even if they are ok with doing so. Even leaving aside fines etc

zigzagbetty Mon 10-Dec-18 07:38:36

As the driver it is you who is breaking the law if they dont, so definetly yanbu.
They can pick up car seats for around 25 pounds each from the likes of argos

GirlAtTheRockShow Mon 10-Dec-18 07:38:55

YANBU!! angry

knittedjest Mon 10-Dec-18 07:39:05

You're prerogative. Tell them to come the day before on the bus if they want to be there but don't want to get carseats. Truth be told even if they got carseats now I wouldn't take them. There's no way they would know how to put them in correctly.

StephenQueenBooks Mon 10-Dec-18 07:39:21

They are very, very low income so can't get a taxi as they can't afford it, they're coming to us for dinner because they can't afford it (and don't know how to cook it). It was my mum's idea to say they'll have to come on a different day.

BellaNewcomb Mon 10-Dec-18 07:40:42

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zzzzz Mon 10-Dec-18 07:40:49

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Elllicam Mon 10-Dec-18 07:44:02

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knittedjest Mon 10-Dec-18 07:44:20

Could you forgo getting them presents and pay for a taxi instead?

PicaK Mon 10-Dec-18 07:44:40

They must have friends/neighbours they can borrow them from. Or your mum? You are absolutely right not to take them without car seats.

NationalShiteDay Mon 10-Dec-18 07:45:34

YANBU. Could your mum get the kids car seats as Xmas presents? Halfords and Argos do some quite decent cheaper ones.

StephenQueenBooks Mon 10-Dec-18 07:46:11

Presents are already bought, my mum and I couldn't afford to get them a car seat each. They're already borrowing money off of my mum every other week and I am one of six kids so she would have to spend that kind of money on all of them.

Pachyderm1 Mon 10-Dec-18 07:46:16

YANBU. You would have to live with the consequences if something happened to them. Stick to your guns!

StephenQueenBooks Mon 10-Dec-18 07:47:33

My mum spends £10 on each kid and then has 9 grandkids to buy for too. It's just not possible.

They have had this issue before and instead of saving up for carseats they haven't.

Bunnymumma Mon 10-Dec-18 07:50:33

It's illegal, unsafe and irresponsible. They will just have to go without and explain why to their own children. Who actually behaves like this with little ones??

Have Christmas Day with your mum and enjoy it.

PrivateDoor Mon 10-Dec-18 07:51:14

Could you and your other siblings all club together to pay for a taxi or car seats, whatever is cheaper? I really think you should try your best to make this work, even for your mums sake if nothing else - it would be a shame to think of your family on xmas with no food etc. I am sure your mum would prefer that they came. Maybe all of you could post on fb asking for the lend of seats?

Ragwort Mon 10-Dec-18 07:52:03

Just reiterate that it is not legal to offer a lift if they haven’t got car seats.

Could you consider having your Christmas lunch (or another nice festive meal) on a different day so that they can travel to you on public transport?

SaucyJack Mon 10-Dec-18 07:52:37

YANBU, but it’s probably worth trying to borrow a spare seat from someone first before cancelling Xmas.

Can all of you put a request out on FB? I expect plenty of people have a spare, or an old one up in the loft.

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