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AIBU?

To think separate accounts are odd?

448 replies

AntMoon · 09/12/2018 15:34

How many married/partnered mumsnetters have separate bank accounts to their other halves?

I'm assuming that the majority of people in long-term relationships have joint accounts. I've been with DH 9 years and we've had joint bank, savings & joint credit card account for years.

It it more 'modern' to keep everything separate these days?

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crosser62 · 09/12/2018 15:35

Why odd?
We have joint for bills/ mortgage etc then our own separate for savings. Been together 27 years.
Not odd, just do things different to you that’s all.

Musicalstatues · 09/12/2018 15:36

We have a mix of joint and individual accounts which works for us.

19lottie82 · 09/12/2018 15:37

I’ve been with my OH for 9 years, married for 4 and we have separated accounts. It works for us, I wouldn’t call it odd.

PoutySprout · 09/12/2018 15:37

Married 18 years. 1 child.

Never had a joint bank account. Don’t ever intend to.

babysharkah · 09/12/2018 15:37

I can imagine not having a separate account. We have a joint one for household stuff. More odd to have solely joint accounts imo.

Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2018 15:38

It's all down to preference isn't it? Plus whatever works for you. Money is one of the major causes of rows within a relationship so if it's ok the way it is why change it?

DH and I have everything joint (unless he has an offshore savings account I know nothing about), but many of our friends have separate money.

PurpleDaisies · 09/12/2018 15:38

Joint works for us and some others. Separate works for some other people.

We’re not a the same.

DeanImpala67 · 09/12/2018 15:39

Married 13 years, 2 children, own home, have a joint account for bills and then each of us has our own account. Seems the fairest way.

Pachyderm1 · 09/12/2018 15:39

We have our own accounts because we can’t be bothered with the faff of joining them. But we see all of our money as shares money regardless of whose account it is sitting in.

Merryoldgoat · 09/12/2018 15:39

We have both - I like knowing what I can piss away without affecting the household budget.

Marble2017 · 09/12/2018 15:39

With my husband 20 years separate bank accounts. If he ever got into debt my credit rating wouldn't be effected and vice versa.

CheeseAndBeans · 09/12/2018 15:39

Why do you think it's odd?
We have separate accounts, and a joint account for bills etc, and then a joint savings account. Works for us!

jessstan2 · 09/12/2018 15:39

I've been married since 1975 and we've never had a joint account. I don't know many people who do, frankly.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 09/12/2018 15:40

Seperate accounts for us. 3 kids. As I am the earner, DP is SAHD, we both have access to my account. But it is my bank in my name. This was supposed to be temporary until we set up a joint account, but this works just as well.

MissMalice · 09/12/2018 15:41

We have joint finances but not a joint account.

Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2018 15:41

TBH it's not something that comes up in conversation that much. I have no idea about the financial arrangments of all the people I know, and wouldn't ask.

Tutlefru · 09/12/2018 15:41

YABU. We met and had separate accounts just never changed. 🤷🏼‍♀️

One has all the bills come out the other has everyday spends like food and fuel and any other everyday costs.

Don’t see why that’s odd.

forkinghellmate · 09/12/2018 15:42

This again?

My DH and I have no joint accounts. Works fine.

Theoryofmould · 09/12/2018 15:42

I've been married years and we have separate accounts as do my parents who've been married over 50 years. To me it's a perfectly normal thing to do. I'll be encouraging my daughter to have her own account too not a joint one.m

forkinghellmate · 09/12/2018 15:42

Parents have been married 44 years and no joint accounts.

Works fine for them too.

WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 09/12/2018 15:42

Been together 10 years. Separate bank accounts and a joint account that we put exactly equal in that all bills etc come out of and then sperate accounts for what’s left. Works for us

Wolfiefan · 09/12/2018 15:43

Why odd? When I was working my salary went in my account and DH’s went into his. We both transferred a set amount to a joint account to cover joint expenses.

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TrickyKid · 09/12/2018 15:43

Joint savings but separate current accounts. Works for us.

Cyw2018 · 09/12/2018 15:44

Had this conversation with DM recently, she thinks like you do op and hints at it being a negative thing in my marriage.

My parents always had all joint accounts, dh parents have separate accounts, so what is "normal" from my upbringing is different for dh. We pay equally for shared things. Whilst I was on maternity leave I still paid my share for mortgage and bills (as I had budgeted for), but dh paid for all home renovations and unexpected expenses.

My dh is better at saving than me (I'm pretty good). As I said to my dm, if dh wasn't solvent, sensible with money and if I couldn't trust him (he is probably verging on tight!!!) we wouldn't have been compatible and I wouldn't have married him.

AntMoon · 09/12/2018 15:46

Totally agree it's what works for each couple - maybe odd was the wrong word to use, swap unusual or not the norm, then.

But not surprising to find I'm actually the odd one ...

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