To be narked by hate lazy gift giving?

[Talith]

I have a aunt who's lovely - really lovely but every single year for Xmas and birthdays without fail she'll ask me to give her "links for gift ideas" for the kids. Like, specific items with an amazon link.

Now - it's great that she's giving my kids gifts - I know some people's relatives couldn't give a toss, or buy ridiculous things that aren't appropriate...

BUT item then is sent directly to me, so I have to wait in, bunk off work for it, or go and get it from the post office.

FURTHERMORE she has never have ponied up for the gift bag so I'm wrapping the item too.

And coming up with ideas is a royal pain, my kids don't have ultra specific hobbies, so I'm grabbing at straws for things they largely won't be that fussed over when I've usually grabbed all the straws for my own gifts, and whilst I don't mind waiting in for parcels or whatever, having to wrap the bloody things really narks me off.

Am I essentially really ungrateful? I'd never post a gift that I'd not wrapped myself, and whilst I'll ask if people if there's anything in particular they'd like, I can pull a few ideas out all on my own. I think it's considerate and shows a bit of care and thought to try.

She's not a really elderly lady who's unsure what kids like (she's got kids and grandkids herself), she's not short of cash and in any case I've implored not to worry about gifting/just get an amazon voucher/fiver in an envelope but she insists on getting things "that they can unwrap" despite the fact that she's not the one doing the wrapping!

So am I colossally ungrateful or might I be a teeny bit reasonable in hoping not to have to do all the leg work for her?

On a side note I also get narked by Moonpig cards which are sent direct and aren't signed, if I pick out a nice personalised one I'll get it sent to me so I can at least sign the bloody thing. Just seems to lack care - bloody one click culture where any sort of effort is too much!

[InDubiousBattle]

Does she live abroad or right at the other end of the country?

[ScreamingValenta]

How nearby does she live? If not near enough to hand the gifts over in person, it would seem pointless to have Amazon deliver to her; for her then to wrap and re-post to you.

[nonetcurtains]

Are your children old enough for you not to wrap the gift, just pass it over saying 'This is from Aunty X' ?

Alternatively tell her they are saving up for some big money item and would appreciate a bit towards it, or maybe a few premium bonds?

[Talith]

She's not that bloody far away she could pop them in tbh (I'd say 20 minute drive tops).

[Talith]

Now they are getting bigger I think you're right the wrapping at least can go hang. My instinct is to do it but they won't be as fussed (probably never were fussed really!)

I'm a massive fan of premium bonds but that would come under the voucher category I fear.

[ScreamingValenta]

If they're in the Amazon packaging they are still 'unwrappable' in a sense.

[hibbledibble]

Yes yabu. Leave the presents under the tree in the Amazon packaging. Better for the environment then wrapping with lots of paper.

Asking for ideas seems like a great idea. You are more likely to know what your children might like.

[PottyPotterer]

Yeah sorry I think you're being ungrateful, I bet lots of parents would love to have family who buy for their kids. My parents don't do online shopping and hate going into the city centre so they put money in my account and I shop for them. It's not a major hassle and as a lone parent on a budget I'm just glad to have others in my life who buy for my son. So you have to wrap them, it's not a big deal.

[CherryValance]

My auntie does much the same - sends me a cheque I need to pay in and then I choose, buy and wrap! It is slightly irritating but at least they get something they’ll like. I have a big bag of recycled gift bags under the stairs though, all bows and gift bags I get are kept and reused.

[CoughLaughFart]

Is there really any point in her getting it posted to herself, then posting it on to you separately? That wouldn’t solve the problem of you having to collect the parcels.

Buy a couple of 50p gift bags from Card Factory and your wrapping is done in seconds.

[nonetcurtains]

I'm a massive fan of premium bonds but that would come under the voucher category I fear.
Maybe, although my Mum also feels the same about vouchers/cash, but feels a premium bond is in a different class, so acceptable!

[Unicornandbows]

Ask her not to deliver it straight to yours.

She perhaps hasn't even thought about the situation

[PierreBezukov]

YABU. And ungrateful.

[stopitandtidyupp]

Do people still send Christmas cards?

[FormerlyFrikadela01]

You'd hate me... This is exactly what I do. Seems pointless to get things delivered to my house that I then send on to relatives houses. And my family just leave them in the Amazon box under the tree to save on paper.

And I'm confused that you complain she asks for ideas then say you even struggle for ideas. They're your children, if you can't think of ideas then how is she supposed to?

[Talith]

I am happy to be told I am being ungrateful (I did suspect this) I'll make sure I give her an extra big hug when I see her as penance x

[itsboiledeggsagain]

My mother does this to me. I'm not grateful tbh.

[MsJuniper]

I find it really hard to buy for other people's children. You never know what they already have or are into.

I have an amazon list set up for each child so if they see or mention something they like, I can add it to the list so any kind friends/relatives can link into the list to check it when the time comes and choose something. Then it's convenient for them and also not quite the same as you just sending them a link when asked.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@Talith - I get where you are coming from - especially the bit about having to think up the ideas - it must feel as if you are doing 90% of the work.

One of my friends once spent ages thinking of her dds’ Chris presents - she bought them a variety of things that she knew they would love. A couple of weeks before Christmas, her mum and her aunt came to visit, and went through ALL the things she’d chosen, and creamed off the best things to give to the girls themselves, and handed my friend a cheque! She had to think of yet more things for her dds, and buy them. She was fuming!

[dontgobaconmyheart]

Haha fair play to you OP- sorry bit I do think it's ungrateful yes, and is more about how you're perceiving it. Arguably it's thoughtful to want to get exactly what is requested , maybe she's just wised up to what a waste of time it is guessing what children want/dont have/think is cool and just wants them to have what they want and is being pragmatic. If you struggle for ideas, it must be a right mission for people on the periphery.
Yes it's a bit annoying it doesn't get wrapped I suppose but just shove it in a gift bag or under the tree as is, you can see why you'd not have it sent to yourself just to wrap and repost- somebody would still have to collect it if you missed delivery. If you send her one back I expect she has to do the same . If you don't, it's even more unreasonable!

Incidentally, I agree about moonpig cards but I think I'm unreasonable to. Its probably actually more effort going on moonpig picking cards, editing, typing and checking out online than it is writing a quick card and shoving on a stamp, plus obviously it's very useful for those who are unable to physically write or get out for whatever reason. When I consider that, I feel a right knob, it's the thought that counts!

[YearOfYouRemember]

Bloody hell SDT. Why did she let them?!

[BumbleBeee69]

I don't think you're being unreasonable, clicking a link and paying with paypal does not constitute alot of effort, particularly when You OP are doing all the hard part, so NO, it's hellish laziness on your Aunt part, hell she isn't even searching for the Gifts FFS

[Shambu]

Yes very ungrateful. It's very nice of her to bother. I always get specifics for my nephews and nieces - otherwise it's just a waste of money.

Ask your kids to do the list for aunt. I'm sure they'll come up with loads of stuff.

[BrusselPout]

One of my friends once spent ages thinking of her dds’ Chris presents - she bought them a variety of things that she knew they would love. A couple of weeks before Christmas, her mum and her aunt came to visit, and went through ALL the things she’d chosen, and creamed off the best things to give to the girls themselves, and handed my friend a cheque

Well more fool her for letting them!

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@YearOfYouRemember - I don’t know why she let them - I think she was just stunned into silence by their brass neck, and by the time she recovered the power of speech, it was done.

She made very sure that she hid the presents better after that!