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To dread visiting friend because of the constant offers of food and drink?

(198 Posts)
smashingavocado Sat 08-Dec-18 17:40:12

She is lovely and would be so hurt if she knew. But I find it really stressful.

I’ve got round it by meeting on neutral territory but she’s rearranged a visit to hers tomorrow and I know it will be foodfoodfoodfood.

Aibu to want to cancel? sad

GreatDuckCookery6211 Sat 08-Dec-18 17:41:26

Can you just say no thanks I'm full now?

Lougle Sat 08-Dec-18 17:42:44

Is food a problem for you, or does she cook badly? I suppose it comes down to why it causes you stress, really. Could you get around it by having already eaten? If you are a fussy eater, could you take some food that you like? It would be a shame to miss out on company because of food, I think. There must be a solution smile.

smashingavocado Sat 08-Dec-18 17:43:40

Oh you can say it great but it’s like she doesn’t hear it - she offers at five minute intervals and then several ‘are you sures’ - and drink too.

AntMoon Sat 08-Dec-18 17:46:04

Is she a nervous host? Sort of over compensating by offering lots?

recklessruby Sat 08-Dec-18 17:46:39

I have problems with food and a very restricted diet but my friends know this.
If it's food you don't like/Can't eat can you just tell her (lie you have intolerance to certain things if she's the type to be hurt).
Mostly it's just coffee and cakes with my friends though.

MrsTommyBanks Sat 08-Dec-18 17:46:56

I'm imagining a Mrs Doyle smile
Tell her you are doing a pre Christmas slim.

Thurmanmurman Sat 08-Dec-18 17:49:07

Can I go on your behalf, it sounds great!

CherryPavlova Sat 08-Dec-18 17:50:18

I’m feeling Father Ted too. For goodness sake, have an adult to adult conversation.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Sat 08-Dec-18 17:50:29

Tell her you've got an iffy tummy when you get there so you'll be taking it easy wink

smashingavocado Sat 08-Dec-18 17:58:33

I have tried that cherry

I don’t think she can help herself.

BackforGood Sat 08-Dec-18 18:07:15

YABU to not tell us what the problem is.

Why is it a problem for someone to offer food and / or drink ?

JudasPrudy Sat 08-Dec-18 18:09:28

This is weird, have you got some kind of food issues?

IdblowJonSnow Sat 08-Dec-18 18:10:31

I want your friend! Can u starve yourself before you go and then just have fruit for the rest of the day? Hard to advise without further info.

MaMaMaMySharona Sat 08-Dec-18 18:11:43

Ahh my DM is like this and it drives me crazy! Before I’ve even got through the door she’s offering me drinks and snacks. It’s not always as easy as saying “no thanks” unfortunately.

I’d suggest what PP says and just say you’re full if you don’t want any more and change the subject - I don’t think people realise how stressful it can be.

EssentialHummus Sat 08-Dec-18 18:13:11

I’d text in advance and say you’re looking forward to seeing her but unfortunately you have a dicky tummy (or whatever) so you won’t be able to indulge in her usual generosity. I don’t like this kind of thing either - it makes me feel self-conscious.

ILiveInSalemsLot Sat 08-Dec-18 18:13:22

Just say ‘honestly, I’m fine! I’ll help myself if I get hungry. I just want to sit and spend time chatting’

doubleshotespresso Sat 08-Dec-18 18:14:49

OP it sounds as if perhaps the issues here are your own. I don't really understand how offers of food and drink offend or stress you out?

She sounds kind........

MrsJane Sat 08-Dec-18 18:16:13

She sounds like my kind of friend!

OneStepMoreFun Sat 08-Dec-18 18:16:30

Say no thanks. Then when she insists, accept a drink and a snack and just have them slowly, or leave most of them . If she asks why tell her you weren't really hungry or thirsty and just said yes to be sociable.

I feel a bit the same. I hate meeting friends 'for coffee'. I spend my working life sitting down. When I see friends, I want to be outside walking in the contryside.

MrsJane Sat 08-Dec-18 18:16:38

Nothing worse than a dry house.

Timetobealive Sat 08-Dec-18 18:17:18

Can you say in advance you won’t want anything to eat?

Butterflycookie Sat 08-Dec-18 18:18:17

Go at lunch time?

BumbleBeee69 Sat 08-Dec-18 18:18:35

I loathe FEEDERS, you have my sympathies OP grin

paxillin Sat 08-Dec-18 18:19:02

Do you have an eating disorder? Could you tell her if so? Otherwise, I don't see a big issue.

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