Advanced search

To expect my friends to pay?

(253 Posts)
samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:39:24

Me and 3 friends are going away for one night next year June.
The hotel room is 2 double beds and is costing £248.
As usual I reserved it on my bank card (using 3 months ago.
Today checked my bank and yesterday they've charge my account the full £248.
I've text my friends telling them what's happened and can they all pay there share.
They've all said no this close to Christmas,they have nights out planned and this close to Christmas can't do it.
So basically I've lost £248 ..I can't afford to cover £248.
Aibu here?

peachypetite Sat 08-Dec-18 15:41:02

That is annoying! Could you ask them to pay half now and half in January so you would at least get some of the money now?

Caselgarcia Sat 08-Dec-18 15:41:35

I would query why the hotel has charged you now?

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:41:41

They've pretty much said they can't pay any of it.
Just a sorry nothing we can do. Ha

Loopytiles Sat 08-Dec-18 15:41:49

Never wise to book on behalf of others.

itbemay Sat 08-Dec-18 15:41:50

YANBU but maybe it should have been checked when full payment was due before booking.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:42:10

I've just looked on the hotel policy's and it says
"Can charge you anytime prior to arrival "

RoxanneMonke Sat 08-Dec-18 15:42:24

Did you not check when you booked when the payment would be taken? They probably presumed it would be June. That said they should still pay their share now if it is leaving you short.

Passthecake30 Sat 08-Dec-18 15:42:33

You haven't lost £248, you just have to cash flow the money?
Can you put their share on a credit card (by spending up to that amount on a card on other things) and tell them their share is on a credit card incurring interest, that they'll need to pay?

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:43:11

When I booked it said "no prepayment needed,pay on arrival "
When you click on the terms and conditions it then says "full payment can be taken anytime prior to arrival"

SauvignonBlanche Sat 08-Dec-18 15:43:16

Can you get a refund if you cancel?

Loopytiles Sat 08-Dec-18 15:43:21

But yes, your friends should pay up. What are the cancellation terms?

SparklyLeprechaun Sat 08-Dec-18 15:43:35

Did you tell them you were booking the hotel? I can't imagine booking a hotel 7 months in advance, that's just weird. Cancel, get your money back and book closer to the time.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:43:51

Unfortunately I don't have any credit cards.
Don't even have a overdraft.

RangeRider Sat 08-Dec-18 15:43:58

Can you cancel?

BitchQueen90 Sat 08-Dec-18 15:44:10

This happened to me before, I specifically chose the "pay on arrival" option because I had to save up the money. They unexpectedly charged me a few months before I was staying. I got in direct contact with the hotel and they refunded it for me.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:44:38

Yeah because it's a big concert in the city that night,we booked as we wouldn't get any rooms closer to the date plus the hotels all increase the prices.

Regnamechanger Sat 08-Dec-18 15:45:47

This is easy, email the hotel and point out that you didn't tick to pay at the time of booking. They will refund you. If you have problems contact

LyndaLaHughes Sat 08-Dec-18 15:46:27

It's not the problem if your "friends" can't pay. The fact is they have to. You aren't a bank. Just message back saying they are being completely unfair as they are complaining they cannot pay one third of the price so how on earth do they expect you to pay all of it on your own at this point. Your friends are CFs sorry.

RangeRider Sat 08-Dec-18 15:46:29

Tell your friends you're cancelling unless they pay. If they still refuse cancel & book yourself a single room so you're covered

AntMoon Sat 08-Dec-18 15:46:49

Is the night away still happening? They should do the decent thing and pay up now.

I think I'd just send another message saying you can't be out of pocket the full amount either and hope they pay their share - or even half.

If they still refuse, I'd look into whether you can cancel for free and get a refund? And in the future get the money off your friends before you reserve, or refuse to be the wallet.

LyndaLaHughes Sat 08-Dec-18 15:47:02

Not your problem sorry that should say.

Butchyrestingface Sat 08-Dec-18 15:47:07

What if one of them changes their mind about going between now and June (perfectly possible)? I wouldn’t expect the person booking to book without first checking a) how far in advance will the money be taken and b) is it refundable with advance cancellation? Was this not discussed before you booked?

I don’t think there’s much you can do at this stage, beyond asking how soon they can settle (and pray noone wants to pull out!)

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:47:17

I don't even think I can cancel as it was a non refundable room.
I got a good deal as I clicked book with no refund possible.

Helplessfeeling Sat 08-Dec-18 15:47:40

So are they saying they are not paying at all? Or just not so close to Christmas? Either way it is rubbish behaviour but if they still intend to pay up after Christmas then I would not cancel yet. Can you get onto the hotel and query why they told you to pay on arrival if that wasn't the case?

ShoppingBasket Sat 08-Dec-18 15:47:59

Sometimes they charge the card as a pre check and you get refunded again in a few days.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:48:16

They deffo won't cancel as we've paid over £100 each for the concert tickets.

Pachyderm1 Sat 08-Dec-18 15:48:18

This is really tough. I really feel for you but I also don’t think you can expect your friends to pay on no notice. If I were your friend I would pay if I could, but December is such an expensive month. Maybe the genuinely don’t have the money? I guess it’s a lesson learned to check the terms and conditions really carefully next time.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:49:06

Surely they can't expect me to pay either.
None of them would use their bank card so stupid me said yes.

Butchyrestingface Sat 08-Dec-18 15:49:15

When I booked it said "no prepayment needed,pay on arrival "
When you click on the terms and conditions it then says "full payment can be taken anytime prior to arrival"

Sorry, missed that post. Definitely raise the anomaly with the hotel.

And probably don’t book on behalf of others again.

Howdoyoudoit31 Sat 08-Dec-18 15:49:58

Why don’t you tell them they need to pay?! You can’t cover it all and if they don’t pay they can find another room to stay in.

Don’t be a walk over.

Redtartanshoes Sat 08-Dec-18 15:50:42

Contact the hotel ffs

VictoryOrValhalla Sat 08-Dec-18 15:50:58

In future you don’t book until you have the money from your friends.

PremierNaps Sat 08-Dec-18 15:56:55

Contact the hotel like others have suggested

JustWhatINeededNow Sat 08-Dec-18 15:57:34

Oh I'm so angry on your behalf. It'd sour the whole bloody trip for me. Dickhead friends.

Iknowthatguy Sat 08-Dec-18 15:58:54

You should have made sure you had the money before booking if that's what the ts&cs said. However it's really unfair of your friends.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 15:59:46

I'm going to give them a call.
It's not made aware on booking page you may be's once you actually go onto the hotel page and look at hotel policies.
Bit sneaky if you ask me

diddl Sat 08-Dec-18 16:00:43

"They've pretty much said they can't pay any of it."


Not even a tenner a week??

If they don't intend to pay can you alter it to a room just for you or keep the booking just for you?

WilburforceRaven Sat 08-Dec-18 16:03:58

Lesson learned, never ever book something in your own name without the money first.

HollowTalk Sat 08-Dec-18 16:04:07

I would do everything I could to cancel it. If it's next June, there's plenty of time to book something else and you might find you can get an AirBnB or a B&B that's cheaper.

FishesThatFly Sat 08-Dec-18 16:04:17

Nice friendshmm. Can see just how much they value your friendship by this...

TruffleShuffles Sat 08-Dec-18 16:04:56

If it was a non refundable room like you’ve mentioned OP they will take the money straight off your card. It’s only rooms that allow you to cancel where you pay on arrival. There is usually a difference in the price between the two options.

VictoryOrValhalla Sat 08-Dec-18 16:05:52

Don’t give them any of the booking details or reference until it is paid in full. Who has the concert tickets? If you have them I would threaten to sell them to cover the hotel costs because you can’t cancel it or afford to cover it for them.

ArcheryAnnie Sat 08-Dec-18 16:06:05

If they've already paid £100 for concert tickets, they are going to want a hotel room. Just say that's fine, you will sell on their bed spaces to other concert-goers, and they can find their own hotels themselves nearer the time.

(My bet is that you not have to find any other takers for the spaces.)

But yes, this is really shitty of them.

Bombardier25966 Sat 08-Dec-18 16:10:21

Which hotel is it?

xwhoiamx Sat 08-Dec-18 16:10:51

If your friends knew you were booking it and were happy to attend (ie you didn't goad them into it) they are being cf and should pay up. You can't afford it either. Give them until end of month and make it clear you expect payment by then or you'll be cancelling and booking a room for 1. Not OK.

PS. Hope the big concert is Take That 😊

xwhoiamx Sat 08-Dec-18 16:11:48

Oh and if it is Take That, let me know as I can help you find takers for those spare beds if they don't pay up...

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:12:38

I wish I had take that tickets ha ha
It's for pink and it's the Marriott hotel

HJWT Sat 08-Dec-18 16:13:13

I guess if they literally don't have it then they don't have it to give ??

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:13:31

I have the concert tickets too (well I booked but ticketmaster haven't send them out yet )

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:13:59

Two of the girls are going out tonight clearly not skint.

dinosaurglitterrepublic Sat 08-Dec-18 16:16:13

I would contact the hotel and see if they will return the money for payment later, but if it is a non refundable room and prepayment in line with terms and conditions, they may not assist. Even if they do, a lot of hotel chains Don’t refund quickly (can be within 28 days or so).

Your friends should pay you though, but if they refuse there isn’t a lot you can do. It’s unfortunate it has come out of the blue in December, but seems unfair to make it all your problem. Perhaps try to explain this again and ask what they can pay towards it now and what remainder they can pay next month.

On a more practical level, if you don’t have an overdraft, you can contact your bank and ask for a temporary overdraft. Not the point of the thread, but if you are genuinely left unable to meet your financial commitments due to this then an option to consider.

It’s a shame that you have to bear the burden of the inconvenience when you arrange a group thing. Like you say, it’s often why nobody wants to volunteer!

Knittedfairies Sat 08-Dec-18 16:16:25

Have they paid you for the concert tickets?

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:23:17

Spoke to hotel they can't refund.
Yeah concert tickets are paid for.

VictoryOrValhalla Sat 08-Dec-18 16:23:37

I have the concert tickets too

Good. Leverage.

HJWT Sat 08-Dec-18 16:30:14

How much do they each oh you ? I understand both sides tbh! Obviously it's really shit and unfair for you but they aren't going to ruin there Christmas plans because of it, if the website said you could pay nearer the time you need to ring them and get it sorted that way

Dreamscomingtrue Sat 08-Dec-18 16:31:26

I’ve had this happen to me with but about 9 months in advance. It was supposed to be pay on arrival not deducted that far ahead. I rang the hotel and complained as mine was refundable, my husband was having cancer treatment and I didn’t want to pay so far in advance. I’d complain to that the hotel advertising is misleading, how can it be pay on arrival if the hotel take the money upfront. Maybe to take a small deposit to check that the card is valid but I think to take the full amount is wrong under their advertising conditions you booked the room under.

Bumblebee2302 Sat 08-Dec-18 16:31:40

If you booked via then surely the t&cs on the page for the hotel take precedence over the hotel's own website t&cs. Can you get in contact with and see if they will intervene as the hotel has breached the terms as set out by them? Make certain to state that the hotel has made an error by charging you now instead of on arrival - get screenshots just in case

slithytove Sat 08-Dec-18 16:33:30

This is the hotel / not your friends who are at fault

Talk to

Mymadworld Sat 08-Dec-18 16:33:54

I would be messaging your mates words to the effect of:

I know this is shitty timing to be asking for money but I only used my card because no one else offered and it said payment t on arrival. I've checked with the hotel and can't cancel so asking again for a contribution as surely you can see how me stumping up the full amount isn't fair - I'm not asking for all of it, just something from each of you so I can at least afford to get through Christmas.

Iloveautumnleaves Sat 08-Dec-18 16:35:07

It’s unreasonable to expect your friends to pay now for a hotel in June if they didn’t agree to it.

IF it said on the main page of ‘Book now, pay later’ they will sort this out for you. They’re very good.

Mymadworld Sat 08-Dec-18 16:35:54

ETA I'm really sorry but if you aren't able to cover any of the hotel costs I'm going to have to sell your tickets to recoup some of the money. I'd obviously much rather we all went together but simply can't afford it.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:36:39

I'm annoyed because they are happy for me to be over £200 down.
Why should my Christmas plans be ruined?
I didn't agree to be charged now either.

Allthewaves Sat 08-Dec-18 16:38:24

This I wouldn't have the money now to give you as I wouldnt planned for it until nearer the time. You made the mistake, it's not their fault they can't stump up now.

OriginallyfromLA Sat 08-Dec-18 16:39:02

I think you have to suck this up. You took on the financial risk and you've lost. Never book on behalf of anyone unless you have the money first.

If I were your friend I wouldn't be impressed by suddenly being asked for money that I was expecting to pay next June (I assumed you said in the first place it would be around that time?) I don't think you can ask for everyone to pay suddenly - December is a flipping expensive month and people will have budgeted accordingly.

recovery18 Sat 08-Dec-18 16:39:05

Sorry but I think this is your mistake. You are the one who booked the hotel without checking when the money would be taken. If you told your friends they would be paying on arrival then it's a bit off to ask them for the money now, so close to Christmas, when it wasn't their error.

I agree with PP - call bank and ask for overdraft. This is what credit cards are for.

DeaflySilence Sat 08-Dec-18 16:39:32

"I got a good deal as I clicked book with no refund possible."

Is it London?

Even then, I don't think £248 for 3 people in one room is that good a deal.

Underworld345 Sat 08-Dec-18 16:39:41

YANBU have you said this to them...that it’s not fair or you? Or just asked for the money? £250ish isn’t a lot split between 4. Maybe suggest if they can’t affors it to use next pay just before Xmas so at least you’re not waiting long.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:40:47

One particular friend found the hotel on ,I wanted to just go for a premier inn.
Premier inn wasn't posh enough for them so that's why we went for the Marriott.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:41:24

What mistake did I make?

recovery18 Sat 08-Dec-18 16:41:43

I didn't agree to be charged now either.

Yes you did - you said that the hotel booking says they can charge you at any time prior to arrival confused I accept you hadn't read or understood it all properly but that is your error.

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:43:41

In all fairness it was one of the friends who found this hotel and said it was pay later.
Like I said I would be happy in premier inn.

TidyDancer Sat 08-Dec-18 16:44:56

This is really difficult. On the one hand, your friends haven't actually done anything wrong here, they weren't expecting to pay so soon and haven't budgeted for it. On the other, neither did you and you did this as a favour to them.

I think a good friend would pay up. For what would be £62 each, they should definitely pay at least half each but more so because it's the decent thing to do than it is an obligation.

Have you made it clear to them how bad a situation this puts you in? What will you have to sacrifice if they don't pay up?

Bumblebee2302 Sat 08-Dec-18 16:45:13

It is only the hotel website says you can be charged anytime - that is if you book via the hotel website. The OP booked on where the terms stated it was pay later/pay on arrival.

OP - please contact and they may be able to sort it

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:45:37

It clearly stated pay at the property

samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 16:48:31

It's only when you go to hotel policies says you will be charged prepayment
In my case the full thing.
They really shouldn't advertise pay at property

SometimesMaybe Sat 08-Dec-18 16:49:04

You have a couple of options -
- speak to and try and get a compromise.
- get an authorised overdraft and tell your friends that you are going to split the cost of the interest / charge between all of you as its a crap situation all round but you can’t pay bills this month if you don’t get the money back. It’s then up to them to pay back at their leisure.

DarlingNikita Sat 08-Dec-18 16:49:13

*When I booked it said "no prepayment needed,pay on arrival "
When you click on the terms and conditions it then says "full payment can be taken anytime prior to arrival"*

Get on to the manager and point out this discrepancy.

But more to the point, your friends are arseholes. It's close to Christmas for you too; do they not think/care that YOU might have nights out or other things planned as well? confused

I'd read them the fucking riot act.

Boysnme Sat 08-Dec-18 16:52:53

OP contact and query with them.

Regardless of how this mistake has come about if won’t refund or sort it out then your friends are pretty poor friends to leave you to deal with it

FrankieChips Sat 08-Dec-18 16:53:25

There’s no way I wouldn’t pay a friend in this case. YANBU.

MartyMcFly1984 Sat 08-Dec-18 16:53:30

I assume friends don’t know about the cancellation policy, so quick text;
Hi, as no one has a spare £60+ this time of year, I’m going to have to cancel the hotel. we will probably have to pay out a bit extra for a late deal in the new year, but Being £200 down means my rent/mortgage won’t be paid if I don’t cancel. Hope this is ok with everyone

See if they cough up then. If they don’t, I’d be selling the tickets 😂

diddl Sat 08-Dec-18 16:55:21

Have they paid for their tickets?

Celebelly Sat 08-Dec-18 17:01:05

I'm pretty sure the non-refundable ones are not pay at property (as otherwise there wouldn't be anything to refund in the first place). That banner about pay at property is just a generic website one and not specific to that room.

However it's strange they've taken it now and not at the time it was booked.

BlackandGold Sat 08-Dec-18 17:05:50

For the 3 of you it will be about £83 pp so you are down £166.
Can you ask them to pay half of that now? £42 isn't that much money surely?

DropZoneOne Sat 08-Dec-18 17:08:35

How did you book OP? Website, mobile or app?

I'm not familiar with the app, but on web and mobile, whilst a hotel may present in search results with "pay at hotel", you need to specifically choose that option when the room prices are shown. If you choose non-refundable the room is cheaper because funds are taken up front.

Could you ring the hotel and ask about switching to a flexible price instead? Chances are it will cost more, and they may not agree, but it's worth trying.

Otherwise ask your friends for instalments- £10 each a month so at least you are getting some of the money in.

JuniperBeer Sat 08-Dec-18 17:12:42

The issue here isn’t the hotel, it’s your friends. Send a text to them all saying you’ve been charged and that whilst you appreciate it’s close to Christmas, it’s only £62 to each of them whilst it’s another £180 you are down and need that money. You don’t want have to ask again but desperate for the money they owe you. Use that phrase.

Mumshappy Sat 08-Dec-18 17:14:13

Just say youll have to cancel if they dont pay up (even if you know you cant) You shouldnt have to bear the brunt of this for six months. I wouldnt expect any of friends to do this for me. I would find the money to give you. I hope they see sense

eddielizzard Sat 08-Dec-18 17:14:24

I'd tell your friends that of course you also have plans which you're now in deep shit about. You were very generous to use your card since they refused, and if they don't pay their way now, you will never use your card for them ever again. Duh


samppo Sat 08-Dec-18 17:14:48

I just used the website I think.
Or the App

AmIRightOrAMeringue Sat 08-Dec-18 17:16:39

I think your friends are being harsh. They can't afford their share this close to Christmas but you have to suck it up!?

I'd tell then again you really can't afford all that money at once and will have to look into cancelling it and selling your concert ticket on if they don't give their shares. And then do so. They don't seem to care.

BumbleBeee69 Sat 08-Dec-18 17:17:29

I would tell all of them that if you don't pay their share now, they won't be getting into that room ATALL. flowers

Tjzmummabear Sat 08-Dec-18 17:19:57

They don't in all honesty sound like friends.

I'd happily buy three Pink tickets off you btw and the room. You could even twist the knife and add because they couldn't afford it...aww...

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 08-Dec-18 17:26:59

Well there you go, you can tell your friends you’ll have to sell the tickets and the room to Tjz.

MilkyCuppa Sat 08-Dec-18 17:29:01

Speak to and see if you can get a refund. If not, tell your friends you’re cancelling the hotel unless they pay up. I know you can’t actually cancel, but they don’t know that. I’m willing to bet they’ll pay up sharpish if they think they’re going to lose the room.

Johnnyfinland Sat 08-Dec-18 17:33:52

They’re being totally out of order. Fair enough if they said ‘we haven’t got it now but will transfer it the moment we get paid’, but it sounds like they don’t plan on doing that either. None of you knew you’d get charged early but you should all suck it up together if you’ve all agreed to go together. I would 100% sell the tickets if they outright refuse. I wouldn’t think twice about paying a friend in this situation!

KirstyJC Sat 08-Dec-18 17:44:01

So they made you choose a more expensive hotel than you wanted to, then refused to use their bank cards to book it, now won't pay their share despite knowing you have been charged in full?

I think you need better friends!

Did you pay for the tickets too? Or have they paid their share of those? Are they being sent to your address? If so, I would tell your 'friends' that you can't afford to be down this money either so they can either pay up or you will sell the tickets.

Regnamechanger Sat 08-Dec-18 17:46:07

Op - if you use you are booking under their policy as stated when you book, not what is on the hotel website. If you chose to pay on arrival that is what you can do. I travel a lot and have had this happen to me a couple of times. I just rang the hotels, reminded them it was a booking and they needed to apply those t+c's... and they apologised and credited my card.

MaryDollNesbitt Sat 08-Dec-18 17:48:29

So they all have money for Christmas nights out and £100+ tickets for Pink, but none of them can find their £62 share for this hotel room - the one they happily allowed their kind friend to book on all of their behalves? They will quite happily allow you, their supposed friend, to become £248 overdrawn in the run up to Christmas, rather than each take a £62 hit? I'm sorry, but that's a seriously cunty thing to do, regardless of circumstances. You are not a bank or credit lender.

Would I fuck allow any friend of mine to swallow MY £62 payment, especially just before Christmas, potentially putting her in debt. I'd cancel night out plans, increase my overdraft facility or scale back somehow to make sure she got that money. As if you tell your friend, "No - I can't afford to pay you that" when you have a night out planned that same day. The brass neck on them! shock How bloody selfish can some folk be?!

Regnamechanger Sat 08-Dec-18 17:49:01

"I'm pretty sure the non-refundable ones are not pay at property (as otherwise there wouldn't be anything to refund in the first place). That banner about pay at property is just a generic website one and not specific to that room."
I've got a booking in January. I have chosen the cheaper rate, which means I can't get a refund if I cancel. However I have not been charged and I will pay on arrival. If I don't arrive they don't care, they will charge the card I used to reserve the room.
Op - just contact or the hotel, rather than worrying and speculating, I'd be surprised if this doesn't get sorted out OK.
You're friends are shits though...

Alfie190 Sat 08-Dec-18 17:49:09

I think your friends are being very unfair on you.

However, I also would not have booked a hotel seven months in advance with those conditions.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »