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DH doesn't get up until lunch time

(157 Posts)
robinsinthespring Fri 07-Dec-18 11:37:12

My DH is retired. (I work a 2 mornings a week). He never gets up until at least noon, and last week he stayed in bed till past 2pm. When we were on an all inclusive holiday in a lovely location he still wouldn't get up, not joining me on the beach till lunchtime. Am I being unreasonable to feel sad that life is being wasted and angry and upset that I have to do so much by myself. I try to encourage him to get up, but all I get is daft excuses like "I'm listening to music" or" I must have drifted off again". Should I just carry on doing my own thing? WWYD?

GivingBloodFeelingGreat Fri 07-Dec-18 11:47:29

He's retired. I think he's earned some time for himself.

And having to get up early on HOLIDAY does not sound like a holiday to me.

robinsinthespring Fri 07-Dec-18 11:51:13

Yes, but every single day?

PumpkinKitty82 Fri 07-Dec-18 11:52:23

How recently retired is he ? Maybe he’s just catching up on lost sleep .
The holiday thing would annoy me though , yes you don’t need to get up at the crack of dawn but he could be napping on the beach in the sun rather than inside !
Maybe in a few months he’ll find a better use of the time or maybe he’s bored and can’t think of anything to do so he sleeps

robinsinthespring Fri 07-Dec-18 12:05:05

He took early retirement from his main job about 10 years ago and has had a couple of short term jobs since then. He has been fully retired for about 6 years. I'm not exaggerating when I say this has been happening 85% of the last 6 years! which is why I'm posting here.

Wordthe Fri 07-Dec-18 12:13:51

I would just leave him to it and find lots of exciting interesting things to do on my own😊

maybe he's someone who needs a lot of his own space and having a different schedule to you is a way of getting alone time?

Wordthe Fri 07-Dec-18 12:14:35

Does he also go to bed very late?

kaitlinktm Fri 07-Dec-18 12:19:00

It is depressing, waiting around for people to get up but if I were you I would go out at a time that suited me to do stuff at least on some days - meeting friends, whatever - and if he complains tell him he can either get up earlier or put up with it. Some things you can do in the afternoons - I'm not saying never do anything together - but I wouldn't be working to his timetable as it would make me resentful and depressed.

crochetmonkey74 Fri 07-Dec-18 12:30:17

OP this would really annoy me too- but I am not sure what I would want to do about it- when you've spoken about it, what does he say?

Nanny0gg Fri 07-Dec-18 12:30:52

Go out and find your own interests and your own friends.

Then leave him to it.

masterandmargarita Fri 07-Dec-18 12:31:48

I think its a shit way to live if you're part of a couple. This would annoy me too.

Confusedbeetle Fri 07-Dec-18 12:32:17

He might be depressed, or feeling a little aimless /rudderless after work. It hits everyone differently

Fairenuff Fri 07-Dec-18 12:34:29

Am I being unreasonable to feel sad that life is being wasted and angry and upset that I have to do so much by myself.

You spend 5 out of 7 mornings on your own. Surely you can amuse yourself for that time?

You have all afternoon and evening together every single day. When he was working you presumably spent 5 out of 7 days away from him.

If you particularly want a day out then plan it in with him. Otherwise YABU.

SendintheArdwolves Fri 07-Dec-18 12:35:30

Personally I wouldn't like it (and would be all judgy and think he was being idle and wasting his life) but it depends how much it bothers YOU, op.

Does he expect you to do more around the house, organise his social life and generally pick up the slack for his lazy ways? If so, stop doing all those things.

If you're on holiday, plan fun stuff to do and not necessarily for just the morning. Go on an all day excursion, see the things you want to see and tell him all about it in the evening.

He may not mind - in fact, this may suit him. If it also suits you, excellent. If it doesn't, reconsider the relationship.

Wordthe Fri 07-Dec-18 12:35:38

I would make out that it doesn't bother me in the slightest in fact I would use it as an excuse to go out and have fun and indulge myself
And then I would see what his response is to this, his reaction will tell you whether he's doing it to piss you off / put you down, or for other reasons

A580Hojas Fri 07-Dec-18 12:37:23

Yanbu. I would absolutely hate this. You are very incompatible in this respect aren't you? I don't blame you for feeling that life is passing you by flowers.

Isitweekendyet Fri 07-Dec-18 12:44:19

Is he depressed/just sees nothing to get up for and has got into a routine of sleeping in.

I'm assuming he's in late 50's? It must be a huge change from working full time to doing completely nothing. What does he do on a day to day basis?

Have you tried telling him how you feel?

adaline Fri 07-Dec-18 12:48:55

I'm kind of torn here. You don't have small children or a dog that needs walking so really there's nothing he "has" to get up for. I imagine he's enjoying the freedom and resents being told to get up like a teenager on school holidays!

However I think it would drive me mad if DH decided to lie in bed half the day, everyday. A couple of times a week, sure, but otherwise it would bother me - especially if I was still working and having to keep to some form of routine in terms of sleep etc.

What does he say when you bring it up?

HellenaHandbasket Fri 07-Dec-18 12:49:57

It seems very lazy, which is in itself an unattractive trait

tillytrotter1 Fri 07-Dec-18 12:50:26

I tell my daughters that I rarely get up in single figures, especially at this time of year, my bed is far more comfy than a leather sofa!

zzzzz Fri 07-Dec-18 12:53:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Penguinsetpandas Fri 07-Dec-18 12:54:09

If he's staying up late then would either do things without him in the morning or do things with him in the evening.

If he's sleeping an awful lot more than normal there maybe a medical reason or he may just want his own space. Depression can cause this as well as a few physical causes and worth running a few blood tests if he's not had any done recently and he's say sleeping far more than 8 hours a night.

BobbinThreadbare123 Fri 07-Dec-18 12:54:16

No, I think this is quite rude and I'm not sure it's very good for you to lie abed for half the day.

If you love someone and enjoy their company, why would you avoid them every day like this? It kind of suggests lack of interest.

pinkdelight Fri 07-Dec-18 12:54:43

I'd totally do what your DH does if I could. And I'd hate to get out of bed to go to the beach (which holds no appeal for me at all). If I was retired I'd get up late and stay up late, because that's how my bodyclock naturally goes, and these decades with work and kids bends it all out of shape. I'm more worried that by the time I'm older I'll have trouble sleeping and wake up early and be in a grump as a result.

I think it's fair enough for you both to have different approaches to life - presumably you wouldn't like him making you stay in bed all morning.

Wordthe Fri 07-Dec-18 12:55:44

I agree that it seems insulting, it's like he's saying 'you're not worth spending any time with I'd rather just lie in bed and drift'

DarlingNikita Fri 07-Dec-18 12:57:34

I hate people judging when others get up. It's his retirement and the holidays are his holidays, just as much as yours. And I really can't see how it's 'rude' hmm grin I love my DP like mad, but I also love it when he stays in bed late or leaves very early and I get to potter about on my own for a bit.

JuniLoolaPalooza Fri 07-Dec-18 12:59:20

It's just very lonely isn't it. I'd like to think when my DP and I are retired we'll get to spend plenty of time together and that would involve some activities where you have to get up before lunchtime. Eating breakfast alone every morning on holiday would have me crying into my juice. My DP would sleep his life away so maybe it's a possibility! It's all very well saying 'have fun by yourself' but I'm guessing you married him because you enjoy his company and want to spend time and doing things together?! Can you put that to him? Maybe one day a week get up and go out for lunch or do something you enjoy together?

adaline Fri 07-Dec-18 12:59:26

I agree that it seems insulting, it's like he's saying 'you're not worth spending any time with I'd rather just lie in bed and drift

Hmmm, I would imagine he's just thinking "I've spent years getting up early, finally I don't have to answer to anyone and can lie in bed until noon everyday!"

HollowTalk Fri 07-Dec-18 13:00:18

It's really depressing when someone's like that. I'd be wondering whether I could be bothered being with him throughout his retirement.

starzig Fri 07-Dec-18 13:01:44

On holiday here and still in bed lol.

adaline Fri 07-Dec-18 13:03:21

But surely spending 24/7 with someone would get boring pretty quickly? I love DH but I couldn't spend every single day with him, he'd drive me insane.

Luckily he has hobbies that take him out of the house so I can have a lie-in and some peace and quiet sometimes. Unless we had specific plans, I wouldn't take too kindly to being told to get out of bed for no real reason!

DontCallMeCharlotte Fri 07-Dec-18 13:05:25

I think I would try and "negotiate" that he at least doesn't do it on holidays, after all, if he's been fully retired for years, it's not like he needs a holiday.

Will he get up in good time if you have plans?

Have you expressed how you feel? Does he stay up late at night?

Sorry to bombard you with questions!

MrsTerryPratcett Fri 07-Dec-18 13:08:55

I'd be worried TBH. Is he very productive, busy and happy the rest of the time? Does he have hobbies? Friends?

Because I wouldn't mind him pleasing himself and spending time with me in the afternoons if I thought it was a conscious choice. But just can't be arsed, drifting through life, sad and rudderless? I'd be concerned.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 07-Dec-18 13:09:21

What do you want him to be doing when he gets up? Housework? Shopping? Pottery classes?

If he's got nothing to get up for, why shouldn't he stay where he's comfortable?

TimetohittheroadJack Fri 07-Dec-18 13:09:53

But if you sleep later then you go to bed later? So yes, you lose the morning but you gain later evenings.

I’d rather stay in bed till lunch and stay up till 2am.

beachysandy81 Fri 07-Dec-18 13:10:32

This would annoy me too on holiday, it's like you have to hang around to start your day properly. I actually quite like doing things on my own though so I think I would organise a few trips and activities for when he is in bed.

At home I would arrange to meet friends for coffee and do yoga and take up a craft type of activity in the mornings! Nice in a way to have a bit of time where you are not expected to be with him. Can't wait to retire!! Just make sure you are not doing all the housework when he is in bed!

DontCallMeCharlotte Fri 07-Dec-18 13:11:57

I suddenly remember there's a word for it (him)! Slugabed or Sluggard.

Thank you Susie Dent.

DontCallMeCharlotte Fri 07-Dec-18 13:14:45

When we were on an all inclusive holiday in a lovely location he still wouldn't get up, not joining me on the beach till lunchtime.

I imagine that must have been irritating for housekeeping.

AyoadesChinDimple Fri 07-Dec-18 13:15:13

An ex did this but we were in our 20s and it was weekends rather than every day.

He's an ex for a reason.

MacarenaFerreiro Fri 07-Dec-18 13:21:15

having to get up early on HOLIDAY does not sound like a holiday to me.

There's a balance between getting up at 6am and festering in your pit until lunchtime though.

thenightsky Fri 07-Dec-18 13:26:06

I've retired recently and I could easily slip into your DH's routine. I'm a night owl and have always hated mornings.

My DH hasn't retired (workaholic type) and works from home. I stay in bed until about 9am, then sit around mumsnetting and drinking tea in my pyjamas until about 11am, when I go get in the shower and get my act together.

DH likes to be in bed by 11pm, whereas I'm just getting my 2nd wind around then, so I watch Netflix or box sets with headphones on and go up about 12:30am - 1am.

On holiday, weirdly, I can be in bed asleep by 9.30pm - perhaps its the fresh air? I'm always up for a hotel breakfast!

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 13:29:45

God, I fucking hate mornings! The only thing I despise more are self-righteous virtue signallers who claim moral superiority because they are early risers and judge a retired person who may also hate mornings but had to get up early for 40 odd years and who finally has a chance to jack that shit in.

I'd find another way to amuse myself and not take it personally.

You don't have to be joined at the hip and it's not like he scarpers off.

If my husband tries to chivy me out of bed in my retirement I'd tell him t sling his hook.

masterandmargarita Fri 07-Dec-18 13:34:21

I think its a bit depressing to be around people who consistently get up really late. I'm aware that there are artistic types Who see the night as their creative time, but unless you're a shift worker, a teenager, clubber etc, get up and live life!

Fairenuff Fri 07-Dec-18 13:34:58

When we were on an all inclusive holiday in a lovely location he still wouldn't get up, not joining me on the beach till lunchtime.

When dh and I were on all inclusive holiday he liked to get up and out early for snorkelling and general lying about on the beach. I wanted to have a lie in. So we both did what we wanted.

We had a lovely room with a balcony looking out over the sea and I had a shower, a coffee and a good read of my book in peace. He went to breakfast on his own and I went to late breakfast on my own.

The rest of the time we spent together. Just because you are a couple doesn't mean that you have to spend every waking moment together. He will chat to anyone, I like to be on my own. You can't blame your dh for just being who he is. If he has nothing in particular to get up for, why shouldn't he schedule his own day?

How would you like it if he insisted you stayed in bed til lunchtime? Don't try to impose on him unless you are willing to do it his way too.

I imagine that must have been irritating for housekeeping.

I put the 'do not disturb' sign on the door and was not in the least concerned about housekeeping. I paid for the room, they can work around me. They did in fact come in the afternoons when we were out.

GunpowderGelatine Fri 07-Dec-18 13:37:35

That would send me absolutely nuts. I hope you don't sit around waiting for him to get up?

Oakenbeach Fri 07-Dec-18 13:38:21

I'd be worried TBH. Is he very productive, busy and happy the rest of the time? Does he have hobbies? Friends?

I’d be worried too... There’s a difference between having a lazy couple of weeks on holiday, and living like this long term. Although for those of us who get up early each day whilst juggle family and work commitments this lifestyle sounds tempting, it’s not consistent with being happy and healthy. I remember I lived like this as a student when on my ridiculously long summer holidays... . after the initial feeling of relief at having no responsibilities or need to anything, I quickly became bored, lethargic and depressed. Pound to a penny, he’s the same... His lifestyle is really not to be envied. He’s essentially giving up on life and vegetating.

Allaboutmeandyou Fri 07-Dec-18 13:40:17

Does he like Golf or any other relaxing activity that he could do regularly.

DoJo Fri 07-Dec-18 13:41:26

I personally can't stand people who fester in their pit before about 2am - it's so lazy to just lie around in bed when there are stars to be spotted,
night-time activities to partake in and the quiet calm of the wee hours to be enjoyed. I'm aware that there are 'conventional' types who feel the need to conform by getting up early, but for those who don't have to get to work in the morning, there's no excuse for missing the best part of the night.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 13:43:14

unless you're a shift worker, a teenager, clubber etc, get up and live life!

Says The Golden Virtue Book in the Sky? I do plenty of living at night, bake, batch cook, clean, work, read. It's just a different part of the 24 hour cycle.

So glad my h isn't the type to try to rule my body clock. But, well, I loathe morning people because they forever bang on about how morally inferior it is to be a night person so I certainly didn't marry one smile.

Our son is a morning person but now he's a tween he gets himself up at the weekends, makes his breakfast and games until the rest of us get up. Then we happily do stuff as a family. So glad the toddler years of early stats is behind us.

GabsAlot Fri 07-Dec-18 13:44:12

my dh lies in on his days off so could be up to 6 days in a row-he can do what he likes means i can have some space

if u want to do things with him plan a day and tell him about it then if he still doesnt get up u need to talk

jessstan2 Fri 07-Dec-18 13:44:30

I'm by nature a late riser, husband gets up earlier. We have afternoons and evenings together most of the time, that's quite sufficient.

Oldraver Fri 07-Dec-18 13:45:39

Why does it matter though ? My folks dont get up until mid day and are always having people have a go at them. They cant see any reason to change.

Obviously if they have an early flight or appointment they will get up but with our near 24 hour soceity there is absolutely no need to conform to 9-5 living

masterandmargarita Fri 07-Dec-18 13:47:36

Oh i dont 'loathe' night people - strong word! But in the ops case her dh is being selfish.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 13:48:09

Amen, DoJo.

Pound to a penny, he’s the same... His lifestyle is really not to be envied. He’s essentially giving up on life and vegetating.

You have no fucking idea what he's like! It's his life. I get tons more done in the evening and night than in the morning.

See what I mean about morning people being virtue signalling self-righteous twonks who heap scorn on those who don't subscribe to their brand of morality?

I'd find it tedious in the extreme to live with someone like this.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 13:49:16

Exactly, Oldraver.

ILiveForNachos Fri 07-Dec-18 13:50:15

He is living my retirement dream. I’m definitely going to be like that when I’m retired! Sleep was my hobby until I had kids. Can’t wait to get back to it TBH.

Bluntness100 Fri 07-Dec-18 13:50:58

I actually understand your annoyance on this. I'd like to pretend it was cool and he should do what he wishes but in reality spending half the day in bed I'd see as lazy as fuck, and what a waste of a holiday.

ReanimatedSGB Fri 07-Dec-18 13:54:01

FFS. People who think that getting up early is a moral virtue are utterly tiresome and usually unimaginative and smug as well.

In your case, OP, does he do his share of domestic work when he is awake? Is he generally kind and pleasant to you? If so, then what you need to do is accept that he has a late-running body clock and plan your days accordingly so you get the afternoons together and both of you are happy.

If he's miserable and lazy in that he expects you to do all the domestic work and indulge his every whim, you've got bigger problems than a difference in body clocks.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 13:54:57

Waste of a holiday? What if your idea of a holiday is to relax and chill out? DH and I went on holiday together alone at last in Summer. Spent loads of time in bed wink. Blissful.

Bluntness100 Fri 07-Dec-18 13:55:34

FFS. People who think that getting up early is a moral virtue are utterly tiresome and usually unimaginative and smug as well

As are people who get their arse in their hands over an online thread and start throwing abuse about.

Calm yourself. Maybe go for a sleep.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 13:57:14

So true, SGB.

KatherinaMinola Fri 07-Dec-18 14:05:28

It would annoy me too. I don't know what you do about it though.

Fairenuff Fri 07-Dec-18 14:06:23

in the ops case her dh is being selfish

Why?

If OP stayed in bed til lunchtime they would have the exact same hours awake.

Sunshineonleaf Fri 07-Dec-18 14:10:13

DH and I are both retired. We spend more than enough time in each other's company without having to synchronise when we go to bed / get up.
In fact during the day we each do our own things 90% of the time apart from eating dinner together.

BlueJava Fri 07-Dec-18 14:13:35

If you are happy with him in everything else I'd stop worrying and trying to change him - just find something you enjoy in the morning. Perhaps early morning swimming or yoga or something - that way you get stuff done but don't have to worry what he's (not) doing!

HugoBearsMummy Fri 07-Dec-18 14:15:10

I'd just find it infuriating that I couldn't make the bed grin I despise it when DH gets up for work later if he's working nearer to home (by later I mean 7am haha!)

But in all seriousness yes that isn't a very nice existence.. I'm not a 'morning person' in the slightest but unless I have a raging hangover I need to vacate my pit by 9am latest or I feel shit (most days by 7am though as I have a 3YO DS)

Holidays I'd find INFURIATING I like to get up and explore and make the most of my time away, why pay 100's or 1000's of £ to go on holiday to lay in bed- odd.

SaucyJack Fri 07-Dec-18 14:16:35

Is he happy and productive when he is awake?

I wouldn’t want to live with someone who was lazy and uninspired, but if it’s just that he gets up later- then I’m a bit meh tbh.

I can’t imagine you struggle to find time together if he’s fully retired, and you only work two mornings a week.

May even be too much.... and he likes staying up late to get a bit of time on his own.

Slipperboots Fri 07-Dec-18 14:19:59

This behaviour ruined my PILs retirement. MIL wouldn’t get up until lunchtime and this meant they never ever did anything.
By the time she had eaten and got dressed it could be 3pm. Day was always totally wasted.
Long term this ruined her health, she hardly saw daylight and because she she didn’t like going out when it was dark outside it meant she never went out in the winter.
Getting up and moving is good for your circulation.
It’s fine if you lie late and then are active but honestly i think the later you get up the less oppertunity there is to be active.

stayathomer Fri 07-Dec-18 14:26:49

OP me and DH are on opposing times, I'd get up at 5 to get stuff done, but would want to go to bed at8, he (when not at work) would work until 2 or 3 in the morning then stay in bed as late as he can (we have kids so it doesn't work out great;)) he'd like me to stay up late to chat/watch tv and Id like him to be up earlier/come up to bed early. Weconpromise on it but my point is people have different clocks and unless he's actively lazy all the time, he's just on an opposing time to you. Talk to him about it and meet in the middle (2 days maybe?) but him being in bed is neither an indication of feelings for you nor an indication of laziness(unless as I said he's always like that)

Hohocabbage Fri 07-Dec-18 14:27:43

For the sake of the marriage, could they both compromise - a ten at the latest rising, could be longer on days OP works. I wouldnt like my bedroom being off limits every morning for one thing. If dh did this i would respect it is his choice but i think i would ultimately prefer to live alone. For every person who is a productive, interesting night owl I suspect there are 5 others who are just lazy and have no get up and go left.

PoutySprout Fri 07-Dec-18 14:30:23

I dream of staying in bed till lunchtime every day, and fully intend to when I retire!

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 15:29:27

Holidays I'd find INFURIATING I like to get up and explore and make the most of my time away, why pay 100's or 1000's of £ to go on holiday to lay in bed- odd.

Because you have a very physical or active job and take holidays to relax, catch up on sleep and relax hmm. Because you want to lay in bed and shag all morning or all day, even. People's ideas of holidays are all different and one way isn't the right way or the wrong way at all. Horses for courses.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 15:33:30

For every person who is a productive, interesting night owl I suspect there are 5 others who are just lazy and have no get up and go left.

And so what? If someone's lazy after a lifetime of working why is this some form of moral inferiority? What's so superior about being so productive all the time even in retirement?

Gawd, I'm so glad I'm not married to some virtue-signalling, scornful, scolding nag who tried to police my body clock.

HugoBearsMummy Fri 07-Dec-18 15:38:15

Because you have a very physical or active job and take holidays to relax, catch up on sleep and relax hmm. Because you want to lay in bed and shag all morning or all day, even. People's ideas of holidays are all different and one way isn't the right way or the wrong way at all. Horses for courses

Erm, I get up at 6:45am every weekday and by 7:30am most weekends, so for me I'd class 8:30/9am a lay in or 'catch up' of sleep... I also enjoy making the most of breakfast with my DH and DS so getting up at 12pm in my mind half the day has gone. Most excursions on holiday begin in the morning... I just think it's an absolute waste of money and can see why OP wouldn't like it.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 15:43:09

Right, so those who don't subscribe to HugoBearsMummy's Guide to Living is wrong? What a narrow-minded way to go through life, but well, some people go on holiday to just relax. People do things differently. Imagine!

Ceilingrose Fri 07-Dec-18 15:52:58

I think it' is a problem if you're mismatched, though. My DH spent most of a holiday like this, so after fuming for 4 days I started doing stuff alone. After three days of this, I told him I would go with friends in future, instead of him. He started getting up at 10, which is a reasonable compromise.

QueSera Fri 07-Dec-18 15:53:40

His schedule sounds like my ideal life! If I didn't have to work, I would definitely be up late and sleep late, noon sounds perfect.

It's unfortunate that you're biological clocks are so different.
Can you reach some sort of compromise?
Or just do your own thing in the mornings?
Does he stay up late? If so, I imagine you don't? Would you think it reasonable if he wanted you to?

Fairenuff Fri 07-Dec-18 16:08:09

Holidays I'd find INFURIATING I like to get up and explore and make the most of my time away, why pay 100's or 1000's of £ to go on holiday to lay in bed- odd.

On the days where we had excursions/sight seeing/boat trips, etc. we were up very early. Saw the sun rise four bloody times more than once. However, the rest of the time I don't see much difference between lazing on a lounger or lazing in the room. Unless you're a sun worshipper (which I'm not).

The point is that if there is nothing in particular that needs doing, it's not wrong for him to lie in bed. Any more than it is wrong for her to get up and it's a bit controlling to want to police a retired person's time like that imo.

robinsinthespring Fri 07-Dec-18 16:09:36

Thank you for all your replies! He usually goes to bed when I do, round about 11pm, but will occasionally (rarely) stay up until 2 or 3 am if he's surfing. He has been depressed in the past, but seems ok now. When we've talked about it he says he will try and get up earlier. So this week he got up early for 3 days then back to old habits today, which is why I've posted here today. We have a dog that enjoys his walks, so that's something he could get up for, but doesn't, I do it. I'm just going to do more of my own thing.

HugoBearsMummy Fri 07-Dec-18 16:25:42

@LegoAdventCalendar you are right 'on one' today aren't you? This is the second time you have singled my comments out on a thread, when there have been others to post similar opinions to myself.

Apologies that I agree with the OP that I also would be annoyed if my DH spent EVERY DAY of our holiday in bed till 12pm. I wouldn't be getting up at the crack of dawn but I think midday is wasting the day. Just my opinion. Get over yourself and select another poster to pick on.

Mayhemmumma Fri 07-Dec-18 16:30:44

This would annoy me. 11am if it's had been an usually late night I could cope with.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 16:33:59

@LegoAdventCalendar you are right 'on one' today aren't you? This is the second time you have singled my comments out on a thread, when there have been others to post similar opinions to myself.

Eh? People are allowed to disagree with others on threads and contrary to your belief, MN is not a popularity contest. Is English your first language? You have a strange use of punctuation. Try not to take internet sprites personally, dear, they don't really know or care who you are in real life.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 16:34:31

Bad form to derail a thread by referring to another one as well hmm.

Notacluethisxmas Fri 07-Dec-18 16:39:31

I naturally get up early. I love early mornings. But Wish I could sleep later on weekends.

Dp is a late riser. I look at the positives. Tomorrow morning I am up, having a tattoo finished at 11am. So I will get up, get a shower, go visit some friends they go for it appointment. Dp gets to sleep in as he wishes. I'll come back around 12.30. Then he will get up and we will go out somewhere.

I enjoy having the mornings to myself.

Just as a point. The time you get up does not make you a better, more interesting person. Early riser or late riser. It doesnt matter.

Don't understand people who think it does.

PoutySprout Fri 07-Dec-18 16:42:28

Just as a point. The time you get up does not make you a better, more interesting person. Early riser or late riser. It doesnt matter.

Most composers, artists and writers are night owls.

adaline Fri 07-Dec-18 16:46:13

* So this week he got up early for 3 days then back to old habits today, which is why I've posted here today.*

So he did what you wanted for three days, and now you're annoyed because he's done what he wants for one day?

He's retired. He has no need to get up early so why should he? Would you be happy if you were retired and wanted to be up at 6am and he constantly told you you had to lie in bed all morning because that's what he does?

Walkingdeadfangirl Fri 07-Dec-18 17:01:28

If you can't have a lie in when your retired when can you? FFS leave the old man alone and let him rest in peace.

Some people will never be able to retire and get a lie in, so I think he is living the dream.

Oakenbeach Fri 07-Dec-18 17:30:13

Hitler used to stay in bed until lunchtime.... nuff said...

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 17:33:44

Hitler used to stay in bed until lunchtime.... nuff said...

Churchill did, too, and not infrequently call his cabinet in for meetings at 2am.

stayathomer Fri 07-Dec-18 17:37:38

Most composers, artists and writers are night owls

Not by choice! Most are because they have other jobs and responsibilities and it's the only time they have where they can work on and on without interruption and also because people don't consider getting up earlier in the morning as they wouldn't make it through the day!!

LilySays Fri 07-Dec-18 17:42:17

Getting up at lunchtime is ridiculous if you’re over the age of 16. I feel guilty if I sleep past 9pm! Mornings are the best and most productive part of the day.

Does he go to bed late? I’d hate it if DH retired and just become lazy/ not bothered about doing anything. Especially on holiday!

Get him to set an alarm and plan an activity/ run/ gym class/ walk or something.

LilySays Fri 07-Dec-18 17:42:38

9am! Not 9pm grin

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 17:46:02

I'd gladly divorce anyone who tried to police my sleep like a child by setting alarms and forcing me to get up when they saw fit after I'd spent the past 40 or so years doing so for work. Then I'd have no one nagging me about it all the time. Bliss.

LegoAdventCalendar Fri 07-Dec-18 17:48:07

^Mornings are the best and most productive part of the day.&

Not to everyone. I have a mate who actually went back to college to retrain as a nurse so she could work in private industry and pick her own hours (from 4pm onwards) as she just doesn't function at all well in the morning.

Notacluethisxmas Fri 07-Dec-18 17:59:56

Most composers, artists and writers are night owls.

And? Non of those mean you are better or more interesting.

adaline Fri 07-Dec-18 18:02:18

Mornings are the best and most productive part of the day.

In your opinion they are! I happen to be at my most productive in the morning too but I wouldn't tell someone who preferred evenings that they were wrong either!

Hohocabbage Fri 07-Dec-18 18:08:28

Gawd, I'm so glad I'm not married to some virtue-signalling, scornful, scolding nag who tried to police my body clock
Lego I don’t think calling women “nags” belongs in the 21st century.
Maybe my opinions are based on the happiest retired people I know being those who are in clubs, learning new things, travelling, doing voluntary work in the community. I don’t know exactly what time the get up at but they couldn’t do the things they do if they were in bed till 12 each day. If you’re single you do what you like (though I still think you need a sense of purpose to be fulfilled in any part of life) but when you’re part of a couple you both need to compromise to lead a happy life together.

Notacluethisxmas Fri 07-Dec-18 18:08:32

Mornings are the most productive for me.

Not for my Dp.

No one can say one time of the day is most productive for everyone.

Notacluethisxmas Fri 07-Dec-18 18:10:04

Hohocabbage there's plenty of hobbies and clubs people can do in the afternoon and evenings.

Notacluethisxmas Fri 07-Dec-18 18:10:49

but when you’re part of a couple you both need to compromise to lead a happy life together.

So why can't the op sleep in later on her 5 days off?

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