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Three time flash is not just an accident?

(181 Posts)
TheQueef Wed 05-Dec-18 08:39:21

Currently discussing with adult DS.

Yesterday I had some day surgery. The only two people in the DS recovery were myself and a man approx 50.
First time I was in bed across and had a full uninterrupted view but we had both had anus and bum surgery so I assumed it was inadvertent.
I got up and dressed so I could sit up and not be in bed opposite.
Two minutes afterwards he wanted up and moving to the arm chairs where I sat.
This is where the three come from.
First he sat with his gown rucked up and knob out. The sister brought a blanket.
Second time leg over the chair arm, balls out (how he was moving his legs after a fissure repair I don't know) Again staff covered him up.
Third time he actually laid it on his leg, like a balding water vole in a satsuma net. sad

I moved and was discharged.
I was so angry on the was home that DS and me are still butting heads.
He said it must be an accidental flash but IMO it was all deliberate.
Oppressive, sinister and deliberate.

Have I had too much mumsnet or is DS wrong?

Rattinghat Wed 05-Dec-18 08:55:30

Deliberate. Hope his bum cracks open again.

Sarahjconnor Wed 05-Dec-18 08:58:27

If it was an accident it would have happened once. Please will you write and complain? It’s totally unacceptable, did you say anything to anyone?

MulticolourMophead Wed 05-Dec-18 09:03:04

I'd also go for deliberate. If it was accidental he'd have been mortified the first time, and be sure to keep himself covered the rest of the time.

olivertwistwantsmore Wed 05-Dec-18 09:04:24

What did you say at the time? What did they staff say? Horrible. And deliberate.

onalongsabbatical Wed 05-Dec-18 09:06:43

Horrible, of course deliberate. DS is your son? Perhaps not yet old enough to be aware that women have to deal with this shit regularly and resisting the pain of knowing what his mum's been through? Could bring all sorts of complex feelings up for him.
Yes, complain. I'm not surprised you're angry and upset, hope you recover swiftly - from surgery and from awful horrible man.

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers Wed 05-Dec-18 09:06:45

It was entirely deliberate and one of the ways that flashers like to intimidate women. You should write a very stiff letter to the health board and the hospital director. At least have a vent somewhere.

Rattinghat Wed 05-Dec-18 09:07:24

The staff knew, they were watching him. They did what they could, twice covering him up. It's very hard for them to accuse a patient of flashing.

like a balding water vole sorry couldn't help but LOL

JuneFromBethesda Wed 05-Dec-18 09:08:27

Ugh poor you, that sounds clearly deliberate to me. What a horrible situation to be in, especially after surgery.

Rattinghat Wed 05-Dec-18 09:09:37

I thought single sex bays were obligatory now? Look up the policy for the hospital.

Inertia Wed 05-Dec-18 09:12:29

Are you female OP? If so, surely this is one of the reasons for men and women to be kept separate in hospital wards, even if not admitted overnight?

I would write and complain to the hospital authorities and tell them that you found it threatening and offensive for a male patient to continually expose his genitalia to a lone female recovering from surgery.

EndofTetherReachedToday Wed 05-Dec-18 09:14:31

Erm no DS means Day Surgery I would assume not dear son!

I would make a formal report on him. Being that blatant about it makes you wonder what else he might be doing.

Talith Wed 05-Dec-18 09:15:08

Deliberate. Yuck. We should trust our judgement on this one. Just because people can air their bumcracks in full view after surgery doesn't mean they should. I'm sorry you had to put up with that.

Jessbow Wed 05-Dec-18 09:16:02

Depends. mental health issues? may or may not have been deliberate. Any anesthesia involved? Dementia?

Squarepeg29 Wed 05-Dec-18 09:16:04

The dirty creepy bastard.

You must at least write a letter of complaint, and check hospital’s policy re single sex bays.

EndofTetherReachedToday Wed 05-Dec-18 09:16:24

Apologies, the OP has used DS for both!

ReanimatedSGB Wed 05-Dec-18 09:17:03

Was the man old enough for it to be possible/likely he had a form of dementia? It is not uncommon for people with some kinds of dementia to behave like this: while it's annoying and unpleasant for those on the recieving end, there's not a great deal already overworked NHS staff can do about it.
(Not saying women should necessarily 'just put up with' flashers, but if it's a case of dementia, it's different from malicious/criminal behaviour)

Rattinghat Wed 05-Dec-18 09:18:21

OP said he was about 50

ImNotKitten Wed 05-Dec-18 09:19:21

Deliberate and you shouldn’t have been forced to share a mixed sex ward with him.

BertrandRussell Wed 05-Dec-18 09:21:36

Surely not even on Mumsnet is 50 considered old enough for an assumption of dementia? hmm

OP- of course it was deliberate. Complain. And loudly.

NotUmbongoUnchained Wed 05-Dec-18 09:21:48

Could he be still off his rocker on pain relief?

Handsoffmysweets Wed 05-Dec-18 09:21:49

You’re too nice OP. I would have called him a dirty perv and told him his button mushroom knob was making me feel sick.

TheQueef Wed 05-Dec-18 09:22:50

Sorry yes adult son collected me. I mentioned it to the nurse doing my obs but if I'm honest I didn't want to look neurotic if I was BU, he did just have surgery and so had I.
The bloke took a fancy to a nurse and ended up looked after by males so I'm wondering if he was grabby too.

He was a fucking horror.

ThanosSavedMe Wed 05-Dec-18 09:23:22

The staff knew it was going on as they kept covering him up.

The hospital is at fault here. They would know if he had mental health issues. If he does, he should have been kept separated. If he doesn’t he should have been warned that if he did it again the police would be called. You were in a vulnerable position and they should have been safeguarding you. Definitely complain.

JacquesHammer Wed 05-Dec-18 09:27:15

Of course it was deliberate.

Ugh.

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