Talk

Advanced search

AIBU to wonder when woman started obsessing over their lady garden?

(356 Posts)
Hellsbells35 Mon 03-Dec-18 08:21:43

I had the misfortune of watching Naked Attraction and was shocked at the lack of pubes...and how people were berated for having a postage stamp sized amount. The men’s view also seemed to be strange where there was a definite trend for those looking like a plucked turkey.

I dabbled with a Brazilian when I was in my twenties but soon stopped when I realised it was a complete waste of time and money.

I now have a full bush and I love it. I really don’t see the appeal of shaving/waxing to have horrid regrowth and ingrown hairs or to look like a child.

AIBU to think we should all band together and let our lady gardens flourish to turn the tide on this degrading trend?

Jeanclaudejackety Mon 03-Dec-18 09:58:51

Genuine q - do those of you who go natural full on Bush really just let it hang out when you're on holiday in a swimsuit or at the gym in the pool? Or do you wear swimwear that hides it?

MakeAHouseAHome Mon 03-Dec-18 10:09:35

It is ridiculous to say women who shave feel pressured into it! I alternate between shave and wax because I think a full bush is disgusting. It is personal preference.

Helmetbymidnight Mon 03-Dec-18 10:12:42

The OP asked when it became a thing...

I don't get why people don't want to discuss it in its historical context - ie. its a very recent thing in the UK - and insist that they do it because its more hygienic/whatever.

You might do it because you feel its more hygienic/whatever, but women didn't tend to 40/80/120 years ago. You get that, right? It's ok to discuss what brought about the shift in fashion, no?

LakieLady Mon 03-Dec-18 10:15:54

They preferred small genitalia in men for the same reason.

They never told us that when we did classics at school!

A580Hojas Mon 03-Dec-18 10:18:07

Full bush = disgusting = bingo!

Notacluethisxmas Mon 03-Dec-18 10:20:45

Helmetbymidnight who said they don't want to discuss it in historical context?

BusterTheBulldog Mon 03-Dec-18 10:23:09

I would say Men have this pressure also. I wouldn’t want a sexual partner with a hairy sack (what a statement for a Monday morning!), and to be fair, I do just prefer not having hair there myself. I shave (waxing never worked for me) and I shave regardless of how much sex I’m having.

Childrenofthesun Mon 03-Dec-18 10:24:27

While I agree that women should do what they want with their pubic hair, it is also true that 20 years ago almost nobody shaved or waxed it all off. My friends and I would all have a 'bikini' wax and that would be it. After a while, the Brazilian started to become a trend but I was past caring by then. What is it that's changed in the last 20 years? The availability of porn.

If women want to shave it all off because they personally like the feeling, fine. But if they are doing it because they think it's what men want to see, or if men (or other women) make critical remarks of those who don't, not fine.

Helmetbymidnight Mon 03-Dec-18 10:25:08

Only a tiny number of posts have responded to the 'when' in question.

Most posters seem to be deliberately avoiding historical context claiming it is for them just personal preference.

BabySharkAteMyHamster Mon 03-Dec-18 10:25:20

Full 80s bush here. Could probably do with tidying it but meh.

Childrenofthesun Mon 03-Dec-18 10:25:55

Genuine q - do those of you who go natural full on Bush really just let it hang out when you're on holiday in a swimsuit or at the gym in the pool?

I trim and remove the minimal amount at the sides so that nothing hangs out. In the winter, I do nothing.

GoldenCurls Mon 03-Dec-18 10:30:07

I trim, but I hate removing it completely.

DP isn’t fussed, and I feel more comfortable. I agree with the pp who said they feel sweaty down there when it’s completely bald. I actually feel much cleaner and more comfortable with shorter hair down there.

Each to their own!

sossages Mon 03-Dec-18 10:30:09

Personal preference is fine - do what you want with your own hair. But there is a growing societal assumption that not shaving it all off is in some way a personal hygiene issue and therefore that those of us who don't are equivalent to someone who only washes once a month. This is not even remotely ok.

As to the original question I agree this is a porn thing and comparatively recent (at least in the West)

BabySharkAteMyHamster Mon 03-Dec-18 10:30:37

Obviously I shave the stragglers that run halfway down my legs if i'm going swimming but other than that it's left as nature intended.

Notacluethisxmas Mon 03-Dec-18 10:33:11

What is it that's changed in the last 20 years? The availability of porn

But the isn't the only things that's changed. In the last 20 years we have become far more multicultural. Trends from one country can sweep the world.

Plus people are far more open about this sort of stuff. My mum would not have openly discuss waxing while at work. But people do now. We had a conversation about chin hair the other day. When I told mum she was mortified anyone would own up it.

I was 17 before I realised women's pubic hair didn't remain neat and tidy. Because the only women I could recall seeing would have been mum or aunties if we went swimming or somethi g and we were getting changed. I thought my hair was just unruly.

Bikini shopping with friends at 17 was eye opening. Most had it popping out of the side of their bikini. They were letting it grow a bit for waxing before we went.

One girl had it growing down her legs. This was 1999 and women were doing it.

Yes porn may contribute. But it's not the only change.

Notacluethisxmas Mon 03-Dec-18 10:37:56

Most posters seem to be deliberately avoiding historical context claiming it is for them just personal preference.

And what? People have discussed historical context. But they still want to make their own mind up.

To be fair all the historical context in the world could not make me change my mind about trimming my own pubic hair. I like it trimmed. Not bald, not waxed.

My dad for example, shaves his armpits in summer. He was in the police and he always said that at the end of a long shift in summer he felt like stank. He felt better about his personal hygiene if he shaved in summer.

Dp, who doesn a manual job, feels the same. Though he just trims it very short.

Historical context has a place in a discussion. Put it would impact either My dad's or dps opinion.

Babdoc Mon 03-Dec-18 10:38:01

There is definitely a historical context or fashion in pubic hair.
In my 36 years as a hospital doc I saw literally thousands of women in operating theatres. When I started in 1980, virtually none of them had shaved or waxed. By the time I retired, it was rare to see any hair on patients under 30. It remained the norm for the over 50’s, and varied in the middle aged. So yes, you can date it fairly accurately and I’d say it’s porn related.
I never understood the attraction of ingrown hairs, shaving rash, stubble and pimples, or the wish to look like a plucked turkey, but hey ho, each to her own!

WindinTheWillowsLover Mon 03-Dec-18 10:41:04

Genuine q - do those of you who go natural full on Bush really just let it hang out when you're on holiday in a swimsuit or at the gym in the pool?

I think some women's ideas of a full bush and the reality are very different.

I think I'd say ,if not tmi, that I am 'moderately' hairy.

In swimwear which has reasonable cover- and by that I mean the legs aren't cut high to the armpits- there is practically nothing on show. Any stragglers are dealt with by a quick shave along the sides - maybe less than 1 cm.

Even that prickles when it grows so god know what it would be like having the whole lot off.

Years ago, most women didn't want it done. My mum's generation (I was born in the 1950s) talked in hushed tones about being shaved for childbirth, which along with the routine enema was the worst bit of the lot!!!

Gynaecologists and dermatologists (and surgeons) bow know that shaving is NOT cleaner or more hygienic- in fact it makes you more likely to get spots, boils and other nasties.

My own view is that women who shave have not come to terms with their bodies that changed at puberty.

Helmetbymidnight Mon 03-Dec-18 10:42:20

*Most posters seem to be deliberately avoiding historical context claiming it is for them just personal preference.
And what?*

So they clearly don't get that "personal preference" is often shaped by fashion or cultural norms and expectations.

woollyheart Mon 03-Dec-18 10:43:45

What worries me is the expressions of disgust that you get from the shaved brigade.

Sneering at other people because they are 'unhygienic' or 'disgusting' is not acceptable.

Disgust is a very powerful tool and shouldn't be used lightly. Of course nobody wants to be thought of as disgusting.

ichifanny Mon 03-Dec-18 10:50:32

I’m a nurse and I’d say the majority of people have pubes I suppose the majority I see are over the age of 30 but still . I’d be shocked at any midwife or health professional mentioning a woman’s pubic hair absolutely no need and they see all sorts anyway .
I hate this notion that no pubic hair is ‘ cleaner’ what a load of rubbish the function of pubes is to keep the genitals protected and clean .

velourvoyageur Mon 03-Dec-18 10:53:47

My own view is that women who shave have not come to terms with their bodies that changed at puberty.

Do you think before you speak, or..?

Wheresmrlion Mon 03-Dec-18 11:02:45

I had this exact conversation with my husband yesterday after watching naked attraction!! I was shocked that none of the women had any pubic hair and a lot of the men had it trimmed right back to virtually nothing. It made me itchy just looking at it.

And don’t get me started on the incorrect use of the word ‘vagina’ on that program. Saying someone has a nice neat vagina when they mean vulva, they haven’t got their legs spread you muppets.

woollyheart Mon 03-Dec-18 11:05:25

I think that women who shave usually have been taught that it is disgusting not to shave.

ChardonnaysPrettySister Mon 03-Dec-18 11:07:15

Taught by whom?

I don’t recall any such conversation with my mother, mercifully.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: