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Leaving children at party etiquette

(320 Posts)
Mumofthreemonkeychildren Sun 02-Dec-18 21:37:58

We had our child’s 6th birthday party and two of the parents just dropped their children off and came back a few hours later to pick them up. It may not have been so bad if I had met the people and their child before but I didn’t even have a clue who their kids were and all of a sudden I have been given the responsibility of not only hosting a party for 15 kids, looking after my own 3 children, aged 6, 2 and 6 months but now another two people’s children. To top it off one of the kids was really badly behaved and upset the other kids and then also when the parents collected their children they left without saying goodbye and didn’t even thank me for the party or looking after their children. I just don’t get why someone would leave their kids with someone they’ve never met, they could be leaving them with peodophiles or they could be abducted by someone else If I wasn’t paying attention to them or get lost and hurt and I’d be the one held responsible for it... am I being unreasonable to think that 6 is too young to leave your child at a party with someone you’ve never met before?

Redskyandrainbows67 Sun 02-Dec-18 21:39:19


coconutpie Sun 02-Dec-18 21:40:05

YANBU at all. I've seen kids younger than that being dropped off and I've been horrified.

mortifiedmama Sun 02-Dec-18 21:40:36

I think 6 is fine. Personally I'd just double check before RSVP'ing but I'd expect at 6 for others to leave their kids with me if they wanted.

madmum5811 Sun 02-Dec-18 21:42:09

Well it is cheeky, but if you had 15 kids and only two dumped their kids, were there not other parents there?

Gravel1 Sun 02-Dec-18 21:43:17

gate crashers or invited in which case how did it happen ?

MadameJosephine Sun 02-Dec-18 21:43:26

At my daughter’s 6th birthday one of the parents left theirs because she had to go to work but she asked me if I’d mind first. Not checking you’re ok to supervise is not on really

Mumshappy Sun 02-Dec-18 21:43:41

YANBU. One of my DDs bdays is in Sep oldest in class. Just started reception and some children were just dumped. Cheeky, irresponsible and uncaring. Ive noticed a common denominator over the years. They all brats. The parents cant wait to get rid of them.

Ragwort Sun 02-Dec-18 21:43:51

I have never heard of parents staying at a 6 year old’s birthday party, did you honestly expect all the parents to stay? Where did you hold the party? Can you host 15 children and parents?

I found it a pain if parents did stay at parties, much easier to organise without loads of parents milling around aimlessly. Fine to ask a couple of your friends to help, but that would be enough.

anniehm Sun 02-Dec-18 21:45:27

It was normal from school age 10 years ago, preschool 1/2 parents did stay

celtiethree Sun 02-Dec-18 21:45:58

YABU fairly typical here to leave 6 year olds. More unusual for parents to stay. Normally parents would ask some friends or other family members to stay to keep an eye on the group.

1981m Sun 02-Dec-18 21:46:31

I had one parent do this at my ds party this weekend. They are 6 too. However, she did ask and I do know her and her dd but not very well. She's in the same class as ds at school. She also didn't say thanks.

I was a bit surprised but found myself saying yes as it was an organised party and I knew her dd would be no trouble. It wasn't really a problem I guess but not something I d do and probably would have said no if wasn't a shared party, dh was there and it was one of those organised parties with a firm.

Ragwort Sun 02-Dec-18 21:46:33

coconut I never realised the etiquette about staying with your child, I dropped my 3 year old at a party, the mother did look a little surprised but didn’t say anything and it didn’t really dawn on me until afterwards that I should have stayed blush. He was a very confident child who had no issue being left.

Escolar Sun 02-Dec-18 21:47:13

Where I live, parents typically stay at parties for age 5 and below, but then start to drop and leave.

Ohyesiam Sun 02-Dec-18 21:47:38

Around here there is a watershed at the start of school. Parents leave their mobile numbers generally.

I suppose it’s quite a small community, and people feel that their child is safe as part of a group.

Mumshappy Sun 02-Dec-18 21:47:47

Just to clarify its the specific children in my dds class who are brats that have been left at parties from 4 years not saying all children who are left at parties are brats.

Beautifulsunshine Sun 02-Dec-18 21:47:55

From about half way through the reception year it’s normal to drop and run! Always say thank you though.

QwertyLou Sun 02-Dec-18 21:48:04

Happy birthday to your child and hope they (and you!) enjoyed the party!

At my son’s fourth birthday party recently, the parents / accompanying relative all stayed for the party, and i think at 4 they need it.

By six I think most kids have got the hang of toilets / washing hands / asking for things so you probably wouldn’t have to “look after” them too much?

They should have thanked you and said goodbye of course.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Sun 02-Dec-18 21:48:39

Perfectly normal around here, leafy M/C area to drop from reception, by yr 1 it is very unusual to stay. We usually get phone numbers of parents and would know them from the school gate. I personally would check ok to drop and give my number but many parents don't. With 15 guests only 2 being dropped off there must have been around 13 other adults that is a ratio of less than 1:2. In class there is often a ratio of 1:15 Or even 1:30, how do you think teachers cope?

BumsexAtTheBingo Sun 02-Dec-18 21:49:13

Normal to drop off at age 6 imo but not normal to do it ninja style without saying hello or thank you at the end.

partypooper40 Sun 02-Dec-18 21:49:21

I’m more gobsmacked at the child not saying thank you. What terrible manners! 😱

Knitwit101 Sun 02-Dec-18 21:50:11

I would expect kids to be left at a party aged 6. I would be surprised if parents stayed tbh.

LagunaBubbles Sun 02-Dec-18 21:51:12

Normal to leave a 6 year old surely. My eldest is 25 and I remember his 6rh birthday party, no parent stayed and I wouldn't expect them to either.

EarringsandLipstick Sun 02-Dec-18 21:52:12

I’m afraid YABU - I would absolutely hate parents to stay at a 6 year olds party, especially in my house

The stuff about paedophilia, abduction or injury is just nuts - it’s a birthday party for a 6 year old! The first 2 are wildly improbable, the 3rd is part & parcel of holding a party.

However YADNBU to be annoyed they didn’t thank you or chat a bit to you at end when they collected.

Mumshappy Sun 02-Dec-18 21:52:14

Doesnt matter where you live. Its not free child care either. If im running round sorting everything for example in a hired room where you bring everything why should i have to supervise other children of infant school age?

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