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AIBU?

To be a bit disappointed with boyfriends presents for me?

152 replies

poppyflorrie · 28/11/2018 09:14

Last night I was changing the bed and my boyfriend had hid my presents for Christmas in the blanket chest.
I am grateful but it's just the usual crap basically.
He's got my 2 fav bottles of perfume,a dressing gown,pair of slippers and a no7 skincare set.
It's the same thing pretty much every year.
I try and spice it up for him but he sticks to the same thing.
Aibu being a bit meh about them?

OP posts:
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Ifailed · 28/11/2018 09:15

assuming you are both adults, have you talked about it?

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custardcream5 · 28/11/2018 09:16

Honestly I think that all sounds lovely...me and my DP will be hard pushed to get eachother a bottle of anything this year with a small DD and another baby on the way we can't really afford much, just think yourself lucky Smile

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SnuggyBuggy · 28/11/2018 09:17

It does strike me as a bit formulaic. Next year ask for something

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SoyDora · 28/11/2018 09:17

What else would you like?

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LagunaBubbles · 28/11/2018 09:19

Sounds lovely to me. If he buys you the same stuff and you're fed up have you actually said anything though?

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MysweetAudrina · 28/11/2018 09:19

You do sound ungrateful tbh. He has got them in good time and obviously thought he was picking up stuff you like. The fact he knows what your fav perfume is, is a good sign.

I am just about to email by list to DH. Last year I wrote out a list of 12 things I would like thinking he would pick a few off it but he got me the whole lot.

What would you have liked?

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bengalcat · 28/11/2018 09:21

Yes YABU - next year if there's anything in particular you'd like then tell him . I can well imagine why a man would think two bottle of your favourite perfume would be a welcome gift .

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Blanchedupetitpois · 28/11/2018 09:22

It is a bit safe - the thought is obviously nice, but if you’ve been together a while he ought to know you well enough to be a bit more adventurous.

It’s too late this year as he has already bought them, but for next year try having an early conversation and point him in the direction of things you actually want.

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Rhiannon13 · 28/11/2018 09:22

He won't know what you want unless you tell him! Of course you probably feel he should know what you want, but some people are hard to buy for while others are so much easier. People who tend to moan about gifts fall into the former category so end up with the same thing each year.

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Bluerussian · 28/11/2018 09:22

Sounds like good presents to me! Not everyone has original ideas - do we want original ideas for presents? They are sometimes given and prove to be big mistakes.

Enjoy your gifts, they are lovely. He could add a nice floral bouquet either in a vase or easy to be transferred to vase.

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Yulebealrite · 28/11/2018 09:22

Communication about this and all other relationship aspects is the obvious answer. He's not a mind reader.
Read about languages of love.

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UrsulaPandress · 28/11/2018 09:23

A list is the way to go. DH always bought me earrings that I didn't like. So now I choose my own.

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poppyflorrie · 28/11/2018 09:23

I'm not really sure what else I would like tbh
Just a nice surprise of something different.
Last year I bought him a motor racing day and he loved it.

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silkpyjamasallday · 28/11/2018 09:23

Well I wouldn't want a new dressing gown every year, but I'd love to get scents/skincare that I like, it doesn't change that often so it would be samey but it's nice to not have to stock up yourself. I'd be grateful he goes for safe options of things you do actually like, rather than doing what my DP does, which is go out a few days before birthdays or Christmas and gets whatever the shop assistants talk him into. I got a load of Forver Living aloe Vera juice from him last year, along with the speil from the sales lady about how this gift basket was worth £250 (he didn't pay that thankfully but was definitely ripped off) Too rank to drink, total and utter waste of money. Or a vile grannyish polyester cardigan that the shop assistant told him was merino wool, a fake Chanel sweatshirt, the list goes on. All terrible wastes of money. I wish he would just look at my amazon book list, and get me the bath oil I like, would be less expensive than the crap I end up with.

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Vitalogy · 28/11/2018 09:23

I wrote out a list of 12 things I would like thinking he would pick a few off it but he got me the whole lot. Aww, he was covering all bases there Smile

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Jason118 · 28/11/2018 09:24

In general us gents are terrified of getting rubbish presents for OH so it's best to either get a wish list or stick to what we know. Seems he stuck to what he knows which is always my default position.

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poppyflorrie · 28/11/2018 09:24

He went through a phase of buying me the bloody soap and glory set (the one boots reduces ) and I didn't have the heart to say I didn't like it.
He used to get up early and stand in the boots line for it opening (told me he had to start work a hour early )
Bless him
He does try

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pasturesgreen · 28/11/2018 09:26

Sounds alright to me, tbh. He's maybe playing it a bit safe, but there's nothing inherently wrong with that list, and getting your favourite perfume shows that some thought went into his choice.

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Puggles123 · 28/11/2018 09:27

Aw that’s sweet, if nothing has cropped up in conversation (assuming it hasn’t as you don’t know what you want) then he is going with gifts he knows you will like. Next year maybe give him some ideas, but I wouldn’t be disappointed as it’s still personal to your tastes and he has made an effort.

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RedRoseReb · 28/11/2018 09:28

You can't have it both ways:

Accept his autonomy and say bless him ( and truly mean it) or resolve to use your influence.

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BunsOfAnarchy · 28/11/2018 09:32

I love xmas and Valentine's tat from DH. Id love what you've described and its most likely what ill be getting.
But we've together 11 years. The 3/4years it was always something amazing though. Just talk to your DP. I would have.
Also it's only November! Maybe bigger things to come?

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VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 28/11/2018 09:32

This is why DH and I haven't done Christmas presents for each other 16 years. It's bliss, honestly.

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Vitalogy · 28/11/2018 09:32

I think a list is the way to go OP. You could do a list of more unusual things though. Stuff that cost little or no money.

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SoyDora · 28/11/2018 09:33

I think if you don’t know what you’d like, it’s pretty harsh to think that he should.

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happypoobum · 28/11/2018 09:34

He used to get up early and stand in the boots line for it opening (told me he had to start work a hour early )

Honestly OP listen to yourself!!! Grin

I got a toilet seat one year!

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