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To be a bit disappointed with boyfriends presents for me?

(153 Posts)
poppyflorrie Wed 28-Nov-18 09:14:20

Last night I was changing the bed and my boyfriend had hid my presents for Christmas in the blanket chest.
I am grateful but it's just the usual crap basically.
He's got my 2 fav bottles of perfume,a dressing gown,pair of slippers and a no7 skincare set.
It's the same thing pretty much every year.
I try and spice it up for him but he sticks to the same thing.
Aibu being a bit meh about them?

happypoobum Wed 28-Nov-18 09:34:11

He used to get up early and stand in the boots line for it opening (told me he had to start work a hour early )

Honestly OP listen to yourself!!! grin

I got a toilet seat one year!

RedRoseReb Wed 28-Nov-18 09:34:18

I'm trying to move to no gifts!

Talcott2007 Wed 28-Nov-18 09:34:29

Have you actually asked for something specific? Will you use those things over the next year. Non of those things are awful or inappropriate. TBH that fact that it's actually a perfume that you like and he's been organised enough to get it before we are even in December is quite impressive... DH really struggles with 'thoughtful gift buying' too a lot of people seem to so now I actually say to him if I want something/need something - This year I actually sent him a link to the Wellies I want as I have a online voucher code with a message along the line of wow these look a good deal, I wouldn't be unhappy to discover a pair of these under the tree this year and leave the rest up to him

dinosaurglitterrepublic Wed 28-Nov-18 09:36:25

This is why DH and I haven't done Christmas presents for each other 16 years. It's bliss, honestly.


TheRedRoom Wed 28-Nov-18 09:37:54

You need to think of a bunch of ideas and tell him!! He's not psychic. Those sound like ok presents to me but not great, but without suggestions how is he me at to know especially if you don't know what you want yourseld.

I send my dh loads of ideas of things I like, websites, insta accounts I follow etc to give ideas, plus in the past he's gone to the big indie maker markets in our city if he needs extra ideas. He gives me ideas for him too. We don't buy much but always stuff the other likes. Suggest a range of stuff and set a total price limit for each other. One great think is better than 6 meh things.

ER1992 Wed 28-Nov-18 09:38:04

Maybe you should have a discussion each year and ask each other if there is anything you'd like? This is what me and my husband do. We always get each other a few extra little bits that neither of us know about so we have 'surprises' as well but the main present is always something we want.
However this year as we have a new born and money is tighter we've agreed to not buy eachother anything and keep the money we would usually spend and wait until little one is old enough to stay at grandparents so we can have a night away instead.
Hope this gives you ideas for next year!

Huntawaymama Wed 28-Nov-18 09:38:23

Aw he sounds like he puts the effort in. Men aren't the best with ideas so ask for something next time and this year appreciate what you get and consider how lucky you are. If my farmer husband actually goes to a shop for me I know that's a huge effort

Alfie190 Wed 28-Nov-18 09:39:11

I agree that it is a bit unreasonable to criticise his choices when you have not guided him and cannot think of anything yourself.

Surfskatefamily Wed 28-Nov-18 09:39:58

Thatd be great for me. Mine normally buys some crap from china as hes terrible at budgeting and never saves money..its almost like he doesnt know me

Sparklingbrook Wed 28-Nov-18 09:40:07

DH and I haven't bought each other anything for years, it's very much simpler. If I need a new dressing gown, I will just go and buy one, same as perfume.

It's only November so maybe he is going to get you some more things? But what he's got sounds ok to me.

BuffaloCauliflower Wed 28-Nov-18 09:41:39

He’s not a mind reader. If you don’t tell him what you want how will he know?

HomeMadeMadness Wed 28-Nov-18 09:41:45

Lots of adults don't go all out for presents once you're in an established relationship. I would just have a chat and say you'd love it if this year you could each get each other one new, thoughtful gift as a surprise.

staffiegirl Wed 28-Nov-18 09:43:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maelstrop Wed 28-Nov-18 09:45:11

Amazon wishlist or email him with a link. I too went through the whole getting stuff I didn't like and did the same to the DH who is very fussy! Now he tells me what he wants so no-one gets pissed off.

Tighnabruaich Wed 28-Nov-18 09:49:33

We do a 'handy hints' list which we give to each other at the beginning of December. Some years we declare a budget limit - say, no spending over £50 (makes it difficult), other years (like this year) we have declared 'no budget'. After 22 years of marriage it would be too difficult to do it without our wish lists.

Tighnabruaich Wed 28-Nov-18 09:51:18

Actually my remark about no spending over £50 making it difficult, makes me sound like a bit of a knob. It's not difficult at all.

MrsStrowman Wed 28-Nov-18 09:51:24

We set a budget and the main present is usually something to do together, tickets to a gig/comedy show etc, so we have two events in the calendar right from Christmas. I actually quite like the stocking bits, usually something from lush, a book, a bottle of perfume etc. Close friends of ours have been together 18 years and the male goes out the day before Christmas Eve with his brother and DH and buys whatever, the aim bring to get it all done in no more than an hour or two. DH goes with him as it's their Christmas tradition, they go for lunch and usually a film in the afternoon, but DHs shopping is done by then, I might end up with an extra pair of socks or something if he sees something I'd like, but the male friend will just buy a load of stuff in Argos or wherever had the smallest queue, he bought her PJs last year (no problem) but they were a 16-18 as that's all they had left and she's an 8. DH pointed out they'd swamp her and he just said oh she likes them comfy (she did not like them I get the run down after Christmas), he also bought her some Lego he wanted and a DVD box set of a show she likes but had already seen all of that was about £100.
At least your DP is thinking of you in advance

bringbacksideburns Wed 28-Nov-18 09:51:50

He's bought these well in advance so at least he didn't rush to the shops on Christmas Eve and grab a voucher.

Next year let him know what you really like? He's played safe.

I'm waiting for a whole bunch of posts worse than this to arrive on Mumsnet soon. People who didn't get what was on their 'lists' etc

And - not aimed at you btw OP - I always think...stop moaning. There are women out there going to food banks this Christmas because they can't feed their kids because their universal credit is fucked up. It could be worse.

thecatsthecats Wed 28-Nov-18 09:52:29

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I TOTALLY get you OP.

I have a wonderful husband. Who is a shite gift buyer. It's not what I married him for, but every year there's that little FGS moment.

He doesn't want to get me generic gifts. I lay out subtle to not-so-subtle hints all through Autumn (December birthday).

Ooh, I'd love some new...
I'd like to go see that...
All the way up to 'I dropped massive sodding hints about getting me x last year and you didn't'...

I would provide him with a list, but the thing is, he WANTS to be the kind of person who gets my hints by himself. He doesn't want a list.

Then when it comes to shopping, he panics, and buys me lots of small things including smellie. Last year was half from Tiger.

This year I've bought him a fancy pillow - he's always complaining about ours, it's expensive, but he'll enjoy it every day. And I'll get... lord knows. Be happy with a fancy pillow myself, but he doesn't want to be told, and he won't buy sensibly himself either.

It's not the biggest deal in the world (and I do spend all year buying things for myself). It's just... why? I get you.

buckingfrolicks Wed 28-Nov-18 09:53:06


He's put effort in. He's spent a lot on you. He's preplanned.

If you don't know what you want how should he? You sound like you want him to be responsible for making your xmas magical. Bad idea. Bring your own magic.

Rhiannon13 Wed 28-Nov-18 09:53:24

He used to get up early and stand in the boots line for it opening (told me he had to start work a hour early )

That's really sweet. Do the presents matter when you have someone who cares this much?

OutPinked Wed 28-Nov-18 09:54:13

You sound ungrateful. Many people get sweet FA, sounds like your DP has bought you a fair amount there.

ogglet Wed 28-Nov-18 09:54:20

Bleurgh how ungrateful you sound OP!

TheFaerieQueene Wed 28-Nov-18 09:54:59

To those saying men don’t have the imagination for gift giving. That is sexist bollocks. It’s no different to saying women are better at cleaning or ironing.
My DH is very good with present buying, on the whole. Jewellery is the staple and 90% of the pieces have been fab. The year of the gold and diamond skull earrings is now a thing of legend. 🤣 (Reader, I returned them.)

lilyheather1 Wed 28-Nov-18 09:55:03

YABU. It sounds like he's spent a lot on things he thinks you'd like.

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