Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

To not pick up my child early

17 replies

crispsmonster · 19/11/2018 15:59

My child minder is assuming I will be picking my dc(2) up early on the last day of term as it's a half day. She asked me what time would I like to pick up, I said at normal time. I am paying for the whole day anyway and she didn't offer any refund if I do. I'm a teacher and we do have early finish on the last day but I planned to go for a drink with colleagues. She has school aged dc so I guess she thought she would get a half day too? She seems a bit put out by it and now I feel guilty as I should want to spend my half day with my dc?! But it's a rare chance to socialise with my work colleagues so I'd want to go. AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

Pibplob · 19/11/2018 16:01

Go! Enjoy it!

BuffaloCauliflower · 19/11/2018 16:01

She hasn’t set it as a half day, you’ve paid for the day, you’re doing nothing wrong so don’t feel guilty!

Mickeysminnie2 · 19/11/2018 16:02

If you are paying her for the full day why would you be unreasonable to use the full day?
She is being cheeky.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 19/11/2018 16:03

Yabu but I do see an awful lot of parents take a weeks annual leave and still drop their dc off mon - fri 8-6 not even dropping later or collecting early. It’s such a shame.

Ohyesiam · 19/11/2018 16:03

Go, enjoy it .

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 19/11/2018 16:04

Argh! I meant YANBU!

crispsmonster · 19/11/2018 16:07

Thanks everyone. I guess where it might be confusing is that she is contracted to "term time" but she charged for the full day and we paid in advance. She has always done this every end of term we've been with her.
I think she is subtly making me feel guilty for not rushing to pick up my dc to spend time with him. But I am going to be with him 24/7 for 2 weeks over Christmas of course!!

OP posts:

Villanellesproudmum · 19/11/2018 16:10

Are you sure she is not just clarifying the time incase you wanted to pick up early so she can plan her day?

Ellisandra · 19/11/2018 16:13

I doubt she’s trying to feel guilty - that’s coming from inside you. I think this, because you’re posting on here so you’re questioning yourself!

I daresay she’s hopeful that all her customers will pay but collect early. And I don’t blame her for hoping!

I very much she’s actually thinking that you ought to have your child. She’s a childminder - her entire job is based around parents who have to work!

Go for your drink and stop over thinking this

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/11/2018 16:14

Isn't that what you are paying her for - minding your child?

If you took the emotional blackmail to heart she wouldn't have a job!

SingaporeSlinky · 19/11/2018 16:20

She’s probably just hoping you’ll pick up early, so asking just so she knows for sure. Don’t feel you have to though. In a lot of offices I’ve worked in, they have generally let staff leave a few hours or half day early on Christmas Eve, but it’s a bit different here as it’s still a while until Christmas.

Janek · 19/11/2018 16:28

We had a 'half day' at the end of term in the summer. However, so many people were leaving that the goodbye speeches went on till my normal finish time, and given I was contracted to be there I couldn't really slope off. I had naively thought that I was getting a half day because the kids were, but no!

Funkyslippers · 19/11/2018 16:30

How is she subtly making you feel guilty?

zighazigha · 19/11/2018 16:36

Yabu but I do see an awful lot of parents take a weeks annual leave and still drop their dc off mon - fri 8-6 not even dropping later or collecting early. It’s such a shame.

DH and I have done that when he's had two weeks off work. One week on holiday with DS, one week for DH and I to have long nice lunches, walks together and get jobs done round the house while DS is at nursery. Release the judgy pants.

crispsmonster · 19/11/2018 16:42

Yes I am over thinking this. I only think she was expecting me to collect early based her reaction to me saying no. I will go for the drinks. It's a rare novelty to just go out after work and be carefree if only for a couple of hours!

OP posts:

Inertia · 19/11/2018 16:44

Yanbu!

You’re paying for the day, you’re presumably contracted to work the full day, and IME as a teacher there’s always at least one child in every class who gets picked up late so you’re hanging around for that. There’s also the packing up of your planning, marking etc, and perhaps Christmas stuff to take down- you’ll probably be working for a while after the pupils leave anyway. Completely reasonable to expect to spend any remaining time with colleagues.

How has the appearance of being put out presented itself?

YearOfYouRemember · 19/11/2018 16:56

Given the tiny percentage of times when parents are not at work but the children can be in child care I think parents do well to nurture their personal relationship when they can.

My 15 year old is not impressed I've said she has to stay in over lunchtime on a day off from school as Dh has booked it off from work for us to do our Christmas shopping and she's needed to feed the animals. It's too late to change his day but even if we could weget very little alone time or time to have a lunch out and she can help us for a change.

OP, enjoy your afternoon with your friends, assume the CM is not being off and forget about it. If she makes a clear comment then feel free to remind her if all parents gave up work she wouldn't have a job…

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.