I think I'm straight!

[NorthernRobin]

NC'd as I've not discussed this with friends/family.

I have always thought I was gay since I was in my teens. I'm now in my early 30's and I've never had a relationship with a man (not even slept with one).

I think I'm physically attracted to men but there has never been that 'in love' feeling that I've had with women.

I am currently single and I've had a lot of bad experiences with women in the past. I don't want to 'experiment' with men and end up hurting someone. I find it very difficult to feel turned on with women and end up having to think about men. I'm very confused about all this.

Is this normal???

[Birdsgottafly]

I think you need to go to Counselling and unravel were this confusion stemmed from.

Has the bad experiences been abusive relationships? If you have had a few then it's possible that have issues that are leading you into those choices.

You'd have to start to think about when you first became aware of sexual attraction etc and how you came to label yourself as Gay, yet have to think about Men to have sex.

[HirplesWithHaggis]

Well, it seems perfectly "normal" never to have been in love with a man, if you've never had a relationship with one!

We all experiment with new relationships, it's how we learn what we like. Sometimes someone gets hurt. That's a shame but rarely lethal. You don't have to go out on the pull or throw yourself at the nearest penis right now, maybe you should take some time to think things through, and decide whether, yes, you really are straight. Or maybe bi.

Any parties planned for the runup to Xmas?

[BitOfFun]

Yes, therapy is the answer. Nobody here can pronounce on what is going on. Please get some counselling- it's well worth it for your future happiness.

[MarcieBluebell]

If you're having to imagine sex with men then you might well be straight. Agree if you've not been with men you're not going to have felt in love. True love can take ages as well.

What's stopping you from experimenting? I don't think going on dates and seeing where it leads is harming anyone if you fancy men.

I don't know if you need therapy but some close friends and family to chat to.

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

These sexual urges for men might be tied up with your fertility. It happened to me - so much so that I married and had children with a man but then, when they were young, went back to desiring women.
I know others it’s happened to as well - especially around the age that you are.

[Bimwit]

Absolutely no expert but thinking about men to get off may mean little in terms if your overall sexuality. I have fantasies about a certain type of man, but never 'chased' one in real life or been in a relationship with one etc. I'm sure a few married straight women have the odd fantasy about sex with women too, but they are not lesbians.

[NinjaLeprechaun]

It sounds like you're romantically attracted to women and sexually attracted to men, but not the other way around, is that right?
Sexuality is so much more complicated than gay/straight/bi, and even those aren't always all or nothing. Romantic attraction and sexual attraction usually "match" but apparently not always - and not everybody experiences both, or even either one, to the same degree. I'd suggest doing some research on different kinds of sexuality and see if you can find something that fits. (Discovering - recently, in my mid-40s - that asexuality is A Thing, and that thing is me, re-framed my entire relationship history in a way that makes so much sense.) Once you do that it's maybe easier to discuss boundaries and expectations with possible or current partners.

[MarcieBluebell]

*bimwit but op struggles to be turned on by women.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I don’t think there is anything wrong with going on a date to see. You’re not going to hurt a man when just dating. I also think therapy sounds like a good idea.

Have you felt turned on by women in the past?

[safetyfreak]

It seems you always had a physical attraction to men but romantically you preferred women. Now you been burnt many times you want to try the other side.

Yeah why not? What about the women your age who end up in gay relationships...it goes both ways.

Do you.

[lovetherisingsun]

Men are going to treat you horribly too. Well, I don't mean "guaranteed", I just mean they are capable and, as the boards here attest to, often do. Experiment but I would do so with a hard heart, if it's romance you're after. But then I'm cynical.

[InstagramPork]

I agree with the PP who said it could be linked to your fertility. It’s a biological fact for example that women are hornier when they’re ovulating, it’s nature’s way of getting us to reproduce.
I wonder if your hormones are now making you desire sex with men because your body is telling you to have a baby?