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Are these things luxuries or normal household items?

(130 Posts)
Teatimeted Sun 18-Nov-18 13:44:56

It was my birthday yesterday. My parents and my IL's both gave me money to buy what I wanted.

This morning I went for a lovely child free trip round town and treated myself to some things. Things that genuinely make me happy and bring me joy. I took a picture and posted it on IG.

My friend then text asking why on earth I'd spent my birthday money on things for the house.

For info, I bought a gorgeous set of brushed cotton bedding from M&S, some new wine glasses, a candle and some nice Molton Brown bath foam. I can't tell you how excited I am to have a bath and go to bed tonight!

But my friend thinks these are normal household items, enjoyed by my DH too, and therefore should come from our joint account and I should get to spend this money on treats for me. I don't think she gets that these ARE treats for me!

We're not destitute but neither are we massively well off and I'd never drop £100 of family money on frivolous items. There are much better things to do with that (like clothes for DS or savings)

For background, at Christmas, DH got money from his parents and bought a new set of pans, so this is a view we both take.

So should I have saved that money for something just for me (not that there was anything I wanted) or was I right to spend it on what I consider to be luxuries??

LaurieFairyCake Sun 18-Nov-18 13:48:19

It's fine, you made an active choice.

Hope you really enjoy it. thanks

JacquesHammer Sun 18-Nov-18 13:50:05

You treated yourself to things you wanted and are really excited to use. Sounds perfect to me!

Happy birthday for yesterday! flowers

weltenbummler Sun 18-Nov-18 13:50:33

these items are a treat for you and make feel you happy and that's that. don't let your friend rain on your parade just because she does not see things the same way as you and your husband. and enjoy your bath tonight!

MIdgebabe Sun 18-Nov-18 13:52:27

Your present, your choice. Don’t let other people tell you what you have to like. I got some glasses once, years go, still love them. WOuld never have spent household money when there were perfectly seviceable cheaper options.

MrsJayy Sun 18-Nov-18 13:52:28

What did your friend think you should buy ? Your things sound lovely enjpy them

Knittedfairies Sun 18-Nov-18 13:54:55

If you think what you’ve bought are luxuries, then they’re are luxuries; your purchases have made you happy and brought you joy. Enjoy!

DisneyMillie Sun 18-Nov-18 13:55:09

My dh normally buys me household items for Christmas and other occasions - I got a slow cooker the other year - but he knows I love them. As long as they bring you pleasure and you’re not spending it resentfully id say it’s the perfect use of the money

CrazyOldBagLady Sun 18-Nov-18 13:56:10

I think your purchases sound perfect, you are all set for a cosy night in. There comes a point when you have enough clothes, perfumes, books, gadgets and it can be hard to decide what you want for your birthday or Christmas because you have everything you need already. I think you spent your money wisely.

MrsStrowman Sun 18-Nov-18 13:56:50

MIL bought me a beautiful Cath kidston tea pot, with matching cups, saucers, sugar bowl and milk jug. I was chuffed. We had a teapot it was functional, but the tea service was something pretty and too extravagantly expensive for me to write off as a household expense at the time, and looks lovely on the dresser. DH was worried as it was 'just crockery' to him and that his mother had made a faux pas.

ThatssomebadhatHarry Sun 18-Nov-18 13:57:05

Nope this is exactly the type of things me and dh buy. He actually had pans too. A new fresh set of bedding after a hot bath with smellies is actually heaven. I’d be getting in to bed early with my fella Jack Reacher.

Fruitloopcowabunga Sun 18-Nov-18 13:58:17

When I was a kit I used to think it was weird that my mum and her sister bought each other things like tea towels for Christmas. I have just looked in the drawer and thought I wish someone would buy me some lovely tea towels so I could bin these grotty ones!

RuggerHug Sun 18-Nov-18 14:00:13

If your friend thinks she can say that and try and take the sparkle off what you wanted, what luxury has she bought you?

drquin Sun 18-Nov-18 14:00:17

It's funny, when I was younger I was obsessive about not giving my mother anything "for the house" and my birthdays and Christmas ......, now as an adult, I appreciate good glasses for my wine or gin, or MB bubble bath and lovely bedding too 😍
Yes I could probably buy them throughout the year myself but I'd certainly appreciate them for a present too.
Tupperware, tea-towels, fairy liquid .... less so 😂

KlutzyDraconequus Sun 18-Nov-18 14:01:13

Is your friend the type to piss on peoples bonfires often?

If you book a holiday to Whitby does she have to point out that'll smell of fish?

brushed cotton bedding from M&S,
This would be a luxury for me. I get cheap bedding cause I'm a broke ass mofo.

some new wine glasses
Another luxury, I get 50p ones from Wilko.

a candle and some nice Molton Brown bath foam
Don't buy candles and my last bath foam cost 50p from Tesco.

PurpleCrazyHorse Sun 18-Nov-18 14:06:22

I would spend birthday/gift money on things that I would like that are more expensive or not household priorities at the moment (which sounds similar to your purchases). I'm saving up for a handheld vacuum cleaner!!

olivo Sun 18-Nov-18 14:06:43

These are luxuries to me. If I am given money, I would buy very similar to you ( m and s have gorgeous bedding at the moment, is it the one with the trees on?) . I love mb bubbles and am just getting into candles. Nor am loudly be primary bedding, whatever bubble bath is on offer in Superdrug and no candle. I am notorious at breaking wine glasses, so nice ones not an option grin


Teatimeted Sun 18-Nov-18 14:07:51

She's extravagant in other ways, very much handbags and perfume etc... but I like my current handbag and am not really into them. They don't make me smile or look forward to using them.

But she does understand the things I love, as she got me some lovely new PJ's for my birthday. I think she was just concerned I was spending cash for me on things for the house. This isn't something she'd do so can't see that I consider these gifts even though others might use them too

Teatimeted Sun 18-Nov-18 14:09:34

@olivio - yes!! The tree one! It came up on a sidebar ad the other day and I fell in love. I'm so susceptible to marketing grin

Pinkprincess1978 Sun 18-Nov-18 14:10:44

You wanted them and will enjoy them! Although if your DH touches your bubble bath then kick him in the shins 😂😀

I've just spend a birthday voucher on 4 bottles of m&s flavoured liquors. Will be enjoyed by both DH and I but was frivolous to buy all four flavours so using a birthday voucher felt right.

olivo Sun 18-Nov-18 14:11:14

I am envy of your tree bedding. It's always the first thing I see when I go upstairs at ours. I would buy it like a shot if I had treat money!

NotCitrus Sun 18-Nov-18 14:11:33

Not a luxury would be whatever sheets you are currently sleeping on, and whatever you currently drink wine out of - thus what you bought are luxuries. If you didn't have any sheets without holes or stains, or no wine glasses, then getting some wouldn't be a luxury but nice quality ones still would be.

Ohyesiam Sun 18-Nov-18 14:12:29

There’s no should about it , each to their own.
Personally having my house looking beautiful and being comfortable is really important to me, I’d get much more excited by some beautiful glassware than a new handbag.
I do like a good handbag but tend to find one I love that really works for me, and use it to death.

I guess it all comes down to wether you are more excited by interiors magazines or fashion magazines.

Missingstreetlife Sun 18-Nov-18 14:13:54

If someone buys a present for the house, unless I requested it I don't like it, but if I buy it from gift money it's fine

ajw88 Sun 18-Nov-18 14:15:10

I'd count house hold versions as a cheap bedset from a supermarket and imperial leather or something bubble bath. What you chose are luxury versions. I got a big m&s voucher recently and bought a nice Egyptian cotton towel set. I had towels that did the job so I wouldn't spend our everyday money on new ones. But I WANTED nice ones so it was a luxury.

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