Is it wrong to allow a child to continue believing in Father Christmas at the risk of them being teased?

[LittleHouseonTheHill]

Almost 9 yrs old DS.

He fully believes in Father Christmas . His best friend does not and has started to tease DS.

Some of the class do still believe , some (especially the older ones) do not .

I think it’s time for the truth if he asks .
My DM thinks we still have a few years left if we tell him “of course he’s real”.

I was 12 when I found out

I don’t want DS to be teased or tell him too early but I get his friends have more influence than me

He definitely believes 100% .

WWYD ?

[sirfredfredgeorge]

How can he believe 100% if his friend teases him for believing? He wouldn't even understand the teasing.

[Babyroobs]

I suppose it's a case of at what age do you stop telling your kids fibs and are they going to be annoyed at you when they realise you told them fibs and they looked foolish in front of their friends. To be honest most kids will work it out for themselves around this age.

[Mumminmum]

Time to tell the truth.

[Returnofthesmileybar]

Well knowing mn you are about to get a load of posters aghast that he still believes after 7 . Usually I would say wait till he asks but as the best friend is teasing him I would wait till Christmas eve, break into the little fuckers house, steal his presents and leave coal just to teach him a lesson wait it out a few weeks and see what happens. I told my dd but she was older again i know the horror , I know where I am the majority believe until 10 anyway

[Sugarhunnyicedtea]

I haven't ever told my son, he's 14 and, believe me, they don't need to be told the truth. They work it out for themselves, often much earlier than we think they do! I knew it was my mum from the age of 7 but I still knew I had to be asleep before Father Christmas came 😁

[Elfinablender]

Just tell him. Trust your own instincts, not your mother's.

[BiggerBoat1]

Definitely tell him. Father Christmas is a lovely thing for very small children but he will (quite rightly) get teased if he still believes at 9 or 10.

[MysticFlyTrap]

I would let him work it out for himself, that's what I did with all my dc.
My 10yo still believes but she's on the spectrum so she is not as mature as others her age but again I'm waiting for her to come to that conclusion by herself like my older children

[EmeraldShamrock]

I am thinking the same. My DD is 10 and believes the same as her best friend. There was lots of doubts flying about the class last year and I didn't tell her. I think I will this year, I definitely will if she asks.

[Thingsdogetbetter]

I was 12 when I admired I didn't believe. Really I was about 7, but smart enough to know I won't be getting any more extra santa presents if I owned up. Lol.

If he asks you directly I would be honest. It's hard enough to accept being lied to by parents, but I'd assume even harder if they've allowed it to continue while you're being teased.

[NoSquirrels]

Depends what you say when he tells you about his best friend teasing him.

If he asks you outright to say that his friend is wrong and there IS a Father Christmas I would not lie.

I go with a gentle “everyone is entitled to believe different things” or “what do you think” depending on the discussion. I often tell them I am grown up and still believe in magic. But I don’t lie if asked a direct question about how the presents get in the stockings.

[AuntMarch]

I don't think I would like if he actually asked. I think if they ask they are ready to know. I have never been too keen on the whole thing anyway though and my mum didn't go out of her way to make me believe when I questioned it, I was only 4 or 5 (didn't buy in to magic getting him round the whole world!)

[TheBigBangRocks]

Nine is not too early, I'd tell him. Letting him be the brunt of teasing when you as an adult could stop it is wrong.

[Nodancingshoes]

My eldest is 12 and I have never told him the truth. I'm sure he knows by now it isn't true but still enters into the spirit of Christmas! I don't even remember when I stopped believing - it was just a gradual thing

[BeardedMum]

I am 100 % sure 10 year olds know FC is not real.

[BlueUggs]

This is the sort of thing I'm planning with my 7 year old.

[BikeRunSki]

DS began to question it last year, when he was 9. I asked him was he thought - he said he was not sure. I asked him what he wanted to believe - he said he liked the idea of FC, but couldnt really see that he was real. I told him he needed to believe if he wanted FC to visit. Then he said “I won’t tell DD (then 6)”. So basically he pretends to believe for his own convenience, but doesn’t really, but also likes having s big secret from his younger sister.

[mrsplum2015]

My ds is just 10. I was absolutely certain he still believed. We knew many of his friends did not and I overheard questions between him and friends where he did not admit he knew the truth!! We therefore asked dd (13) to tell him recently to prevent teasing. He laughed at her and said he'd known since last Christmas! (I'd messed up the hiding presents...).

Dd (now 13) was a different matter. She questioned me repeatedly age 9 and was v distressed at not being sure. So I had to tell her!

We have one more (dd age 5) and I am just enjoying the short time left....

I don't think it really matters what you do but don't be sure you absolutely know what your ds believes.

[Alfie190]

He is too old to believe in Father Christmas, I am only surprised that you need to tell him.

[BikeRunSki]

DBro is a secondary school teacher. He says every year there is a child or 2 in the Y7 intake who still believes, but doesn’t by January.

[SilverLining10]

Of course you have to tell him. At 9yo if his friend worked it out then it's only a matter of time he will too. I'm surprised he hasnt already.

[itsnowthewaitinggame]

With mine they'd stopped believing by around 8 I think. There was no big talk, they generally find out in school and there was no upset or accusations of me lying to them! Let your child guide you. If he believes, let him believe.

[stayingaliveisawayoflife]

I teach year 2 and have often has this come up. I had one child in tears because his year six brother had told him there was no Santa. I saw his brother at the end of the day and asked him why he said that. He said he saw his mum putting his stocking on his bed. I asked him does that prove Santa doesn't exist though. Has he been everywhere on the earth and identified everyone so can be sure there is no Santa. He said no and year 2 child was happy again. I have don't this a few times over the years and am waiting for a 30+ person to stop me one day with a pile of maps and photographic evidence!

[BeardedMum]

To be honest if a teacher said that to my child I would think they were a bit bonkers.

[AamdC]

Of course some 10 yr olds still beleive , ds1 was in year 5 when o told him he had been asking for. Yr or two and i just said what do you beleive, hes just started yr 7 and appsremtly two of his friends still beleive!