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AIBU?

I can't read

63 replies

Caxx · 17/11/2018 23:45

Hi long time lurker first time poster
I am a mum of 5 oldest 19 about to go to uni in jan youngest is 1 I am a single parent it is a hard thing to admit but basically I am illiterate I hold down a job at a supermarket and my children are well cared for up unti now this hasn't been a issue but my 13 year old who is at grammar school has started to get suspicious and I think he has told his teachers as I noticed at parents evening they were speaking to me like I was stupid (but u suppose I am)
I manage with Google and my.older son who is helping me write this but soon he will have left home so I am going to struggle does anyone know where I can get some practical help without anyone judging me ??

OP posts:
DinoDave · 17/11/2018 23:47

How do you ‘lurk’ on mn if you can’t read?

heatherblue · 17/11/2018 23:48
ChasedByBees · 17/11/2018 23:51

I just came to post that link too, it looks a good place to start.

Coolaschmoola · 17/11/2018 23:51

Your local FE college or community learning centres will offer adult Functional Skills English courses.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 17/11/2018 23:51

Ask at your local library, citizens advice bureau, or community centre.
There is lots of help out there for people who need help with reading and maths, and nobody will judge you, or look down at you, honestly!
Well done for asking for help, and good luck. You can do it.

superhansg · 17/11/2018 23:51

Honestly don't feel bad although I'm Young my grammar and literally all reading and writing skills just weren't (and still aren't fully there) their till very very late on,id fully recommend talking to your doctors about the possibility of dyslexia or other learning issues,buy a spellchecker they're amazing and fairly cheap,I'd also reccomend and I know it hard but reading constantly as much as possible read them over and over start with simple books or rhyme books my personal favourite are doctor Suss. You can also find YouTube videos that help explain things,use a dictionary to look up words meanings and just start from basics like writing simple paragraphs about yourself information that you know and keep repeating them. I hope this helps!

Iruka · 17/11/2018 23:54

I am guessing you are functionally illiterate if you are managing mumsnet. There are more Funtionally illiterate people around than you could probably imagine. Can read a bit but it’s difficult and you struggle with more official documents like forms?
The National Literacy Trust website has some great advice and local libraries can usually advise on confidential help.
Don’t be embarrassed.

MrsTerryPratcett · 17/11/2018 23:55

Switch the subtitles on when you watch Netflix. Get a text reader.

Little things can really help.

GreenTulips · 17/11/2018 23:55

Do you have access ability tool on your phone so it speaks to you?

Same with talking and it types for you

Lots of apps to help with basic reading

If you can read the first hundred words you can read 75% of all texts

shakethatass · 17/11/2018 23:56

You must be doing ok if you can navigate mumsnet and put a post together.
No shame at all... go visit your local further education college and see what courses they have on offer.
You must be bright to have got this far... good luck x

Lovemysofa · 17/11/2018 23:57

Firstly, you are far from stupid-please don't ever feel like that. You have raised 5 children-1 about to go to uni and 1 at grammar school. You have obviously done a pretty amazing job with them. You also work which will mean you are using countless skills, probably without even realising.
As for what you can do-would you feel comfortable speaking to someone at a local college? I have done some work with ours and I know the lady who runs the basic skills courses which is for people starting out and she is lovely, kind, non-judgemental and wants what is best for her students.
I would hope the teachers aren't talking down to you. If they are, then it says more about them than you.
Stand tall and be proud of what you have achieved, despite not being able to read. You have had to work harder because of that and are still doing amazingly.

Caxx · 17/11/2018 23:58

I manage mumsnet with help off my son to write I also have a app that speaks back to me sentences wordsthat I'm struggling with

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 18/11/2018 00:02

OP - you are so sensible to ask for help and I hope you find a good course soon. A retired neighbour asked me for help with reading and writing and rapidly made progress.
You are far from alone and very brave to post. 💐

Riv · 18/11/2018 00:07

I second the literacy trust.
You are not the only parent that has this problem. I know you might be feeling embarrassed, but you shouldn’t be, reading is actually quite a complicated thing- but not as complicated as the effort and skill you will have had to put in to hide your non reading from others.
If the school is talking down to you because of this they are being very unprofessional. I’m sorry that they are doing that. I am a teacher. I know several parents who can’t read yet. Some have trusted me by being open about it and it has been my privilege to support some of them to develop their reading abilities if that is what they want and to teach them alternative strategies if they prefer. (Or respect and support their efforts to hide the difficulties if that is their preference)

Dino Dave, it’s quite easy to use on screen readers to access the internet. Even competent readers use it.

UpstartCrow · 18/11/2018 00:09

Not being able to read and write well does not mean you are stupid. There are classes for adults, how do you feel about taking a class?

BakedBeans47 · 18/11/2018 00:10

I am sure libraries and community centres often have posters up for adult literacy classes.

Good luck OP x

ladybird69 · 18/11/2018 00:11

Where abouts are you Caxx, I’d teach you!

user1492809438 · 18/11/2018 00:11

Hi, I have taught Adult Literacy throughout my career and I just want to say that the courage of people who can't read is amazing. If you can find time to take the first steps as other posters have recommended, you will fly. Heartfelt good wishes.

FoxBoxRox · 18/11/2018 00:13

You're very brave. There is no reason to be ashamed x

Canaryyellow1 · 18/11/2018 00:17

I’d make the most of your son to find you literacy course. It’ll really free you and expand your life. No one will judge you. Do it!

bellabelly · 18/11/2018 00:25

Our local Children's Centre runs Adult Literacy and Numeracy classes - might be worth contacting your local one and asking if they do these classes too? Please don't feel embarrassed about asking for help - adult literacy levels are nowhere near as high as people might expect. And it is never too late to learn. x

LEMtheoriginal · 18/11/2018 00:25

Do you think you might be dyslexic? Wirh specialist support you could learn. My dd is dyslexic and was totally, and i mean totally, illiterate up to year 5. We got her tested and a specialist tutor. She is flying through school now in year 9 and reads everything she can lay her hands on. I firmly believe without the tutor she still wouldnot be able to read. School had no idea neither did we.

Your local college may be able to help.

You Are clearly far from stupid and given the right strategies may well find it all falls into place

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covilha · 18/11/2018 00:26

Can you get hold of a book called "Toe by Toe." If you can, and maybe get one of your kids to spend 10 minutes a day, every day going through it with you then by the end of next year you will read, you will understand and you will be helping your kids with their homework and, who knows, maybe helping others to read to. Good Luck, Lovely xx

ladydickisathingapparently · 18/11/2018 00:36

I wanted to echo what’s already been said - the hardest step is to ask for help. I have a family member who struggled with literacy despite being extremely bright. I think most people would be surprised how clever he/she was at hiding it. “I forgot my glasses” was the usual excuse for not reading stuff!

He/she took an adult literacy course some years back and is flying. Even joined a book club! I’m extremely proud of their tenacity. You’ve got this Flowers

cushioncuddle · 18/11/2018 00:38

Toe by toe is a brilliant tool to learn to read.
Start at the beginning don't skip any of it.
It costs about £20 on Amazon.
You will need one of your sons to help you with it. It takes 10 mins a day.
My son improved by 18 months in 6 months.

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