To have inwardly rolled my eyes at news that friend is engaged?

[SummerGems]

Big fuss on fb, video of him proposing to his gf and her saying yes, followed by all the congratulatory posts wishing them “a lifetime of happiness.” So far, so good or so you’d think.

Except this will be his 5th engagement, and assuming they actually marry, his 4th marriage - he is 40.

Obviously I haven’t said anything to anyone, and no I’m not jealous before anyone suggests otherwise. But how on earth could anyone possibly think they’re “the one” when someone has been there so many times before?

Good luck to them and hope for their sakes it lasts. But can’t help thinking that this is just one in a long line... Surely the idea of engagement and marriage loses its sparkle once you’ve been there so many times? .

[PinkHeart5914]

Like marriage means anything to one married 4 times! I wouldn’t of said yes

[FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine]

Marriage is whatever you want it to be. It’s a legal contract at its core. It’s only recently people have started to accept marriage due to love and not money/stability/joining of families.

YANBU to feel how you feel. But YWBU to express it to the happy couple!

[MoaningSickness]

A relative of mine who lives abroad has been married three times. When they invited my uncle to the third wedding he quipped 'Sorry we can't afford the flights - I'll come to the next one...'

They've been happily married for more than thirty years now. I understand the scepticism, but sometimes people do meet the right one after a bunch of mistakes, so I'd keep the eye rolling to yourself.

[FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine]

Yep... my dad is on his third marriage. The first two lasted 15ish years apiece and didn’t work out. He’s been with his wife a similar length of time and they seem very happy. I don’t think multiple marriages is much of a sign of anything. You can easily get unlucky with a couple of people where you wanted it to be for life and they were flaky or left.

[juneau]

I can understand one marriage not working out, even two at a pinch, but four by the time he's 40???? That's not just bad luck, that's bad judgement. I wish your friend luck - she's going to need it.

[chipshape]

I don't doubt all the people who've given examples of 3rd/4th marriages working out but I would definitely laugh (to myself) at the absurdity of the big, filmed proposal. How could you feel special knowing the guy had done it 4 times before.

[ForalltheSaints]

I understand the OPs views. You wonder why a person either has such bad judgment or bad luck- is there something about their childhood that has influenced this, or about their personality that gets found out after a while?

I hope of course I and the OP are completely up the wrong tree and it is a similar situation to that described by MoaningSickness, the start of many happy years.

[clowdyweewee]

Is he Steve McDonald?

[ZackPizzazz]

The more times you've been married, the more likely the marriage is to end in divorce. A first marriage is about 40% likely to end that way. A 4th, according to US data, is about 93% likely. So... Good luck to them, I guess.

[Santaispolishinghissleigh]

I fully intend to keep my 4th dh!!

[CoughLaughFart]

While I’d never say it to the couple directly, I would probably be thinking ‘Again?’ rather than ‘Wow, great news, congratulations!’

Why not learn from previous mistakes and not rush into marriage? What’s wrong with taking the time to be sure it really is forever this time?

[NotTheFordType]

YABU doing it inwardly, just post the roll eyes emoji image.

[Notonthestairs]

Well something has gone wrong if you need to record a proposal and stick it on Facebook.

[purityjonesrockedmyworld]

Our first dances ( we had 3 songs) were Babybird - Back Together, Spice Girls - Viva Forever the Shed Seven - she left me on Friday, and yes we got married on a Friday some 17 years ago, not left him yet.

[WingingItStill]

I’m about to get divorced for the second time - definitely bad judgement on my part. If I ever get married again, which I’m not aiming to - there will be no fanfare.
Actually, there was no fanfare at my second as my first was such a big do that I felt people had invested in that marriage which had failed.
I would try not to judge as I never thought I’d be in my situation but I think making a big deal about it is unnecessary.

[TheVanguardSix]

When they invited my uncle to the third wedding he quipped 'Sorry we can't afford the flights - I'll come to the next one...'
That's good! I like that.

[Stardust91]

Is his name Ross Geller? Maybe he loves proposing and the wedding days

All you can do is wait and see. This marriage might be the one 'meant' to be.

[Witchofwisteria]

Fucksake, imagine being his immediate family.

Barbara: "Dave, guess what Phil's only gone and got engaged again!!!"

Dave: "Well he can piss off if he thinks he's getting another crock pot out of us!"

[TonTonMacoute]

When a man introduces you to his fourth wife, you don't wonder what was wrong with the first three!

[choli]

Why not learn from previous mistakes and not rush into marriage? What’s wrong with taking the time to be sure it really is forever this time?
There IS no way to be sure that it really is forever, though.

[ReanimatedSGB]

OK, marriage means different things to different people (and TBH it always has done). But I'd think he's probably a bit of a dick. Is he the sort that 'trades them in for a newer model' ie each new wifey is progressively younger than him? Or is he the 'romantic' serial shagger who gets bored with the current partner, fancies someone else and tells himself that the new one is The Real Thing and the previous one is now disposable.

[Mumminmum]

One of my cousins was engaged 9-12 times (I lost count) before he finally got married. He didn't marry her until they had been together for ten years or something like that and they got divorced a couple of years later. I can't help thinking, that if he has shown her, he loved her, by actually going through with the wedding sooner, they might have lasted longer. After his third engagement, we realized this was just something he did with girlfriends and we stopped taking it seriously.

[Caprisunorange]

I find men like him are often big on the big gestures. No need to eye roll really, poor woman is in for years of misery

[mirialis]

Wouldn't touch him with a bargepole. Obviously hope for your mate that it works out for her but would feel exactly the same as you and would feel astonished (and pleased for her) if it did.

[LuluJakey1]

I have a friend who has been married 3 times. When she announced the 4th DH asked her if the previous engagement and wedding presents counted or if she was expecting more.