Can the parents out there give me some honest truths about what it's like to have kids.
My experience is that it's amazing. I LOVE it. It is full on, especially when they are at the baby/toddler stage, but they do get easier.
They take up a lot of your time and a lot of your money. To put it into perspective for you the childless women in my work who does the same job and has the same income as me owns 6 houses (rents them out), buys luxury items and designer clothes and goes on plenty of holidays. We have similar household incomes, but a luxury holiday for her and her DP costs the same as a very basic holiday for the 5 of us.
Something always needs to be paid for. New uniforms, new winter clothes because they've outgrown last year's, Christmas presents, birthdays, after school clubs and activities, summer clothes, saving to afford annual holiday. We have a bigger house in an area with great schools, so our mortgage is higher.
Now obviously a lot of that information was financial, but I just wanted to illustrate how expensive kids can be. None of mine do ridiculously expensive hobbies or anything either, we are pretty sensible with money.
Thankfully I'm not a very materialistic person. I don't really care what I drive so long as it's practical, I'm not into designer things. I find it very easy to appreciate the things that we have, and I place a lot of value on my family. So I don't really feel like I'm missing out on a more luxurious lifestyle, it's a choice I made and I'm happy with it.
Time-wise PPs are right when they say it all revolves around the kids. Of course DH and I get out, probably for a meal together once a month and one or two weekend breaks away to a nice hotel a year. Other than that we are helping with homework, doing school runs, going to the park or swimming or for long walks and days out as a family. I know a LOT of parents with the attitude that they "can't wait until their child is X years old/an adult so they can get their life back", which I think is really sad. Unless you have huge amounts of money to hire in 24/7 childcare, or very close by and very keen to constantly help out family members, then I think you have to accept that life becomes mostly about the kids.
Personally I'm ok with this. I still make time do the things that are really important to me, and I've cut out everything that isn't.
Sometimes it really is bone-crushingly tiring. My DD didn't sleep, and when she was awake she was prone to huge meltdowns. She's outgrown that now, thankfully, but it pushed our MH and our marriage to the brink at the time.
Does anyone wish they had made different choices?
No.
I love seeing life through their eyes. The excitement they get from things, their enthusiasm, the love that you get given back. I am pregnant with #4, the plan is to wait until they're all up a bit and then go for fostering. I wasn't very into babies as a child, but I lost my dad when I was little, and my mum had a breakdown shortly after. I often wonder if my desire to have a lot of family around me comes from the lack of family growing up.
Is there something wrong with me for not wanting to have them?
Absolutely not. I think it's very wise and shows a lot of self awareness to not feel pressured into motherhood. It's a lifelong commitment that consumes so much of you.