to call this neglect...

[snetters]

My 2 year old won't go to sleep.
He's in a toddler bed now as can climb out of his cot.

He's always been a fab sleeper, from being 12wo.

Now he cries and screams and does everything to not sleep

We've sat in his room and lay beside him for the past 7 nights to get him to sleep which has worked lovely but can't go on like that forever.

Tonight have tried the good old supernanny trick to put him back into bed once he climbs out. Spend two hours doing that for dh to intervene and tell me to come out of his room and close the baby gate

As in... leave him to cry and fall asleep on the floor

AIBU to call this neglect?

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

Maybe I’m horrible but no, I wouldn’t call that neglect....

[LoisLittsLover]

Not neglect, no. Not a choice i would make but not neglectful

[Singlenotsingle]

No, not at all. He's got to learn who's boss

[CherryPavlova]

No. It’s called parenting and training a child to sleep.

[Fridaydreamer]

No not neglect.

[HRTpatch]

I did it with dd. Took 2 nights. Well worth it.
Everybody got sleep.

[BitchPeas]

Not neglectful at all. I assume he’s in pyjamas, his room is warm and he is clean and fed? He knows his bed is there and he can sleep in it.

[Alilwolf]

No, it's called being a parent.

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

Look, he has a bed. He just chooses to climb out of it. You’re not making him sleep on the floor! If that’s where he sleeps fine, pop him in his bed later.

[Caprisunorange]

I don’t think you know what neglect means

[flamingofridays]

Not neglect. He will soon learn his bed is comfier than the floor. Hes making a choice to cry on the floor, he can get back into his warm safe bed if he wants to (and he probably will!)

[confusedandemployed]

No this is not neglect. Learning to sleep by ourselves is a hugely underrated life skill.

[LilMy33]

Not neglect.

I’ve done this with my children. Not routinely but when I’ve been exhausted and they’re not settling I’ve made sure they’re safe in their room and walked away knowing they can’t follow me while we both calm down. It’s worked and with my eldest who doesn’t have a sleep disorder (littlest one does) she’s always either taken herself off to her bed and fallen asleep or fallen asleep by the baby gate. No harm done.

I’m rather someone would describe this as neglect tbh.

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

No way I’d have been lying beside him for seven nights on the trot before he decided to drop off, either!

[3WildOnes]

I wouldn’t leave my child or baby to cry it out but no I wouldn’t call it neglect. I think there are much gentler ways to sleep train and I’m not anti sleep training at all. If he has been sleeping through from 12 weeks I would first try and work out what’s changed for him. Are you pregnant? Is he anxious about someone? I would always try grade retreat before any other sleep training method.

[snetters]

Thanks so much for all the sarcy or unnecessary replies, being 30w pregnant and clearly very sleep deprived that's most definitely what I needed. Kudos.

Neglectful in a way where he's alone, crying...

He's never been a clingy child but is going through that phase at the moment, only at bed time though. Like I said he's been a text book sleeper since I can remember.

Down to sleep at 7/7:30 and put down awake and never had an issue with self soothing.

[TableSalt]

Lol! No, not neglect. FFS.

[snetters]

However, I do appreciate the replies that weren't twatty. I did give this a go but had to fold as he began to play his drum set and repeatedly switch his lamp off and on. Will be taking measures to child proof his bedroom and give it another go

Obviously just isn't nice hearing him cry - because we've never had to do anything like this

[3WildOnes]

Just seen that you’re 30 weeks pregnant, I imagine that he is feeling really anxious about the arrival of the new baby. I would not do the super nanny method or cio in this case. I would carry on sitting by his bed whilst he settles to sleep and then try gradual retreat.

[snetters]

@3WildOnes yes, pregnant! What makes you say that? You know something I don't. That's the only thing that's changed. I was unsure of whether he had seen something that frightened him which is why I have comforted him to sleep for the last week

[originaldoozy]

Not neglectful but not something I would do. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

[Queenofthestress]

He's having a clingy time because everything's changing with the new baby, but honestly it's a normal phase and it will pass as much as it doesnt feel like it

[Glasshalffull99]

I'm having the same problem and I've caved so many times. It awful hearing them scream.
Mine quite literally screams until someone sit with him. He is still in a cot because hasn't tried to climb out yet. However next week we will try a bed and see if that makes a difference.
My biggest worry is the neighbours thinking we are neglecting him with him screaming for 2 hours straight a night. It's horrible!

[snetters]

Thank you 3wild, just googled gradual retreat and will read more into it.

This sounds like something I'd prefer to do as I've said loads he's always been brilliant at bed time

[MaryShelley1818]

It’s certainly not neglect but I wouldn’t do it personally. I’d like to think I’d never leave my baby to cry alone, it makes me teary just thinking about it.