To ask you about going back to work and mixed feeding?

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

So yes, I am being V U, because I'm using AIBU solely for traffic - posted this on 'back to work' and got nothing and infant feeding is also quiet, and I can't get any advice on this in real life SO:

I have slowly come to the realisation (spurred on greatly by the discovery today that all my frozen milk is rancid) that when I go back to work in a month and a half I really, really don't want to express breastmilk during the day. So far DS is exclusively breastfed, and has only ever been given bottles of expressed milk, which he takes fine (when it isn't rancid!). He'll be six months when I go back (full time), and DH will be on shared parental leave with him for the first four months after I go back. I just have some questions about switching to mixed feeding, with DH giving formula in the day and me breastfeeding when I'm around:

1. How do we best transition DS so it upsets him the least? Do all babies who take bottles take formula (I've never heard of one refusing, but is that a thing?) - will we need to try different brands, etc. to find one he'll take? Should we try and add a bottle a day gradually before I go back to work? I don't think he'll take a bottle from me so that'll be tough while DH is still at work.
   
2. Presumably at this point my supply's established enough that it will cope with only breastfeeding morning and night (that's what people do with toddlers, right?)? Will I be able to feed him during the day at weekends, or will that leave either him hungry or me engorged during the week? I'll be working from home some days and so could feed him then, but presumably my boobs can't work out when it's Tuesday?
   
3. Can someone reassure me that this is all going to be alright?! Feeling very anxious about it.
   
   Thank you for your wisdom!

[Kaystar89]

No advice sorry but I am in a similar situation so I'm watching this! When I have done a few KIT days my boobs surprisingly didn't explode, I took a pump in ready to express but didn't need to. Also, my baby has taken to formula fine the odd bottle she has had but not sure if all of this is the norm or not...

[cyantist]

I went back full time when my daughter was 6 months and ebf. She would not take formula at all when we tried. So I expressed and gradually added more and more formula to it until she was happy taking formula on its own. This only took a week or so. She only ever had one type of formula. Once we tried the trick above she took it fine.

I carried on breastfeeding morning and night but after a few weeks my supply just dried up too much but lots of people manage this. You might struggle trying to feed more some days than others though but you might not because by 6 months your baby will be having less milk.

Don't stress though. It will be fine!

[TakeMe2Insanity]

I think the good thing in your scenario is you still have a month. Whatever you do don’t go cold turkey as you could end up with breast problems mastitis etc.

Practically write out a plan of how many plans you are going to reduce a day per week and just start. Don’t be afraid to try different formula/bottles. Not every baby likes the formula x uses or the bottle y uses. It takes time and you still have time. Good luck and don’t panic!

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Thank you for the advice - this is so helpful. The only real advice I could find on going to mixed feeding was 'don't', which wasn't all that useful to me... Do you think three weeks over Christmas (when both DH and I are home) will be enough for this adjustment? As I said, I'm worried I'll struggle to do it before then.

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Just giving this a boost for the daytime crowd in the hope of getting even more really useful advice!

[Pootleflump76]

You can definitely do this - it was one of the options discussed at my breastfeeding groups “return to work” course.

I did it with my eldest - breastfed before I dropped off at 8am. She had formula in a bottle (although wasn’t that bothered about it so didn’t always drink it) and three meals at nursery. I then breasted her again when I picked her up at 6pm and any times needed though the night.

[NoAngel1]

I went back to work when DD was 9 months. A couple of months before that I started replacing one of her breastfeeds with a bottle of formula. She took to it within a few days. I gradually replaced the feeds I would miss with a bottle and just did the morning/night feeds as breastfeeds and we were in this routine a little before I went back to work. This all happened over a few weeks so you have plenty of time.

DD was fine with formula, I used Aptamil and we had no issues. It comes in powder and handy ready make cartons that are useful when out and about or if being looked after by grandparents.

I had no supply issues as DD just fed as normal when I was around. I felt that I began to get supply issues when I dropped the night feed (because I wasn’t getting home till 7pm and she often couldn’t wait that long). I could have expressed milk after she was in bed but it felt like the natural end of breastfeeding for me personally.

I hope this helps. Good luck. It will all work out xx

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Thank you! Presumably she was a bit older? DS will only just be six months so I assume won't be taking much in the way of solids at all so will still need lots of milk. What did you do at the weekend with your daughter?

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

(He'll actually be 10 days off six months when I go back but we're planning to wean a few weeks early - shhh don't tell the health visitor!)

[Birdsgottafly]

My DD didn't go back to work, but my GD had health issues and I had to have her overnight because my DD was on the point of collapse.

We started to give BM in a bottle. Then Formula, she chose Aptamil.

We started off were I had her a few hours, so if my GD refused, or just threw it up, my DD could get to me to feed her.

Usually my DD slept and would wake up full. She would have to use a Breast Pump at times.

Quite quickly her milk supply adjusted, though and it wasn't as bad. Just uncomfortable at times.

Your HV probably wouldn't say anything about you weaning him. Just remember that they get very little nutrition from food. Nor does it fill them up. They need a quantity of milk, still.

My GD weaned herself off the breast at 10 months, just didn't want it. Her second is still feeding at 17 months, but will take cows milk as well.

[Pootleflump76]

@lisasimpsonsbff my daughter started nursery at 6 months, however we had started weaning at 4 months (on HV recommendation) so she was eating confidently then.

[ZackPizzazz]

Babies used to expressed BM do sometimes refuse formula so yes, good to try now and find out. If they object the standard technique is to start by mixing a very little formula into the bottle and gradually shift the proportions until it's all formula. This would also help his tummy adapt - a sudden change might cause constipation or discomfort.

It's (usually) very possible to do as you describe and feed as normal on non work days although you would probably need to take a pump to work for your own comfort to begin with, even if you just pour the milk away (a bizarre thought, I know!) What makes you think all the milk is rancid btw? Is baby refusing it? Perhaps you have high lipase? pumpables.co/lipase-breastmilk/

It's possible to deal with high lipase by scalding, although a bit of a faff.

[JustBecauseYouAreUniqueDoesNot]

My baby refused expressed milk and formula before I went back to work.

My husband was on spl and I was back full time so we had no choice but to keep offering for a day until she took it (My first day back). That was expressed milk but I'm sure if we had used formula the result would have been the same.

It was fine (bar that first anxious day), and doing spl worked brilliantly for all three of us. Fundamentally if they get thirsty enough they drink. I wish I had spent less time stressing about it and trying the bottle over and over because it definitely didn't help.

Wishing you best of luck.

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Yes, I think it is lipase (but it doesn't smell 'soapy' it smells revolting, like vomit) - which will be just about impossible to deal with by scalding when I'm at work since we don't have a proper kitchen! But that's just the nail in the coffin, really. I hate expressing and since my work is 'work until the work is done' not set hours every minute I spend expressing at work is time I could have with DS so I've just realised it doesn't feel worth it - in an ideal world I'd like to keep him exclusively breastfed but more time together feels more valuable.

Thank you again for all the advice, it is so helpful, and reassuring!

[JustBecauseYouAreUniqueDoesNot]

How old is the milk, out of interest?

Is it possible it defrosted and has been refrozen accidentally?

How much did you warm it up?

If it smelled strongly of vomit I'd be cautious about assuming lipase. My milk didn't smell properly offensive until it had gone off or we warmed it up in ready brek (by which point it did literally smell like vomit).

Commiserations though. Heartbreaking to get rid of pumped milk.

[squirrelspatchcock]

My daughter is 11 now so i can't remember how I made the transition to a bottle, but I can assure you that feeding only morning and night was absolutely fine for me. I was amazed how my milk supply completely adjusted so that I had supply at the right times and no issues during the day. I did this until she was 18 months old. I loved breastfeeding her (and I knew it would be my last chance) so was very happy to not have to give up completely after I had gone back to work. I would start working towards this in advance and then you can avoid having to pump at work (I didn't).

Personally I would not try and feed during the day at the weekend as I think it would be more successful if you are consistent.

Good luck!

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

It is possible - the freezer hasn't been left open or anything but maybe it's malfunctioning - but it would have had to have happened in literally the last few days as some of the milk was only a week old. We did warm it but we always do (usually we use milk that's been in the fridge for a day or two at most - mostly I express in the morning then DH gives the milk at night). Either way DS didn't want to drink it and I can't blame him! DH disagreed that it smelt like vomit, but agreed it had a strong and weird smell.

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Personally I would not try and feed during the day at the weekend as I think it would be more successful if you are consistent.

Thanks, I think you're probably right. I'll miss the convenience of breastfeeding while out and about but you can't have everything in life!

Did you (collectively) find your babies upped the night feeding in response, by the way? DS is going through an awful stage with his sleep at the moment and feeding 3/4 times a night, and I don't know how I'm going to cope with it when back to work!

[Jent13c]

I went back at 8.5 months to 12 h shifts full time hours. Baby was always a frequent feeder. He was weaned around 5 months and took to it very quickly so by 7 months he was eating 3 meals a day or chopped up food we were having. He never took a bottle at all but we got him used to a sippy cup before going back.
It was hard to estimate feeds as he was pretty inconsistent so I gave him one sippy cup with 3 ready made cartons of formula to nursery. He would never take more than 2 and usually only about one and a half. I fed him at 5am just before I got up (like a dream feed) and to get him to bed at 7.30 when I got home. On weekends and days off I just breastfed him on demand.
I had to hand Express at work for comfort (to stop milk going through my uniform ) for the first week about once or twice in a 12 hour shift. After that my supply seemed to settle. He generally fed once or twice a night too. He kept going until 17 months when he weaned from me (kind of guided by me but led by him).

I was so worried before I went back but was absolutely amazed at how everything just kind of adjusted so easily.

[jgjgjgjgjg]

Can I suggest you give the NCT feeeding helpline a call on on 0300 330 0700, talk it through with someone experienced and trained in baby feeding? They will be able to offer relevant evidence based information and support.

[JustBecauseYouAreUniqueDoesNot]

"Did you (collectively) find your babies upped the night feeding in response, by the way"

I was terrified about this but no. Baby started sleeping all the way through about 2 weeks after I went back. It was brilliant.

I did continue to feed all feeds directly on my WFH day and the weekends but then I was expressing full time. It never phased the baby. Once that first day was out of the way she never fussed at the bottle again.

[JustBecauseYouAreUniqueDoesNot]

*fazed

[Myheartisbeating]

I went back to work full time at 7.5 months. DS refused formula. He was offered it a nursery, along with water and food and he was fine. He reverse cycles, which wasn’t much fun but he’s always been a crap sleeper. I feed morning/ evening/ night and during the days at the weekend and it worked fine. The only problem I hit was when he got HFM, and then fed constantly for the week he was ill (he couldn’t eat solids because his mouth was so sore). When I went back to work the following week I was quite engorged, but it settled quickly. It’s scary, but it will be fine 😊

[BendingSpoons]

My situation was slightly different. I went back when DD was 8.5 months. I fed her first thing, when getting home, before bed and twice at night. She was feeding twice at night before so it didn't increase. I continued to feed in the day when at home. I aimed only to do one feed extra in the day, although not sure I always stuck to it. My body coped with that. I felt it was more confusing for DD if I wouldn't feed her when I was there. Although she was a bottle refuser so only had solids in the day (obviously she was a bit older).

[nicelyneurotic]

Your supply will be fine, I did this when I went back to work. Formula bottle in the day and breastfed when I was home. It was lovely actually, although they resisted the bottle at first.