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CF tightarsedness

(392 Posts)
BorisAndDoris Tue 13-Nov-18 14:29:17

Inspired by another thread, I'd love to hear your experiences of CFers being tight arses, never putting their greedy paws in their own pockets.

Mine was an ex when I was a youngster. Maybe 16? 17? I was financially independent (okay, skint on min wage but paid my way) and rented my own place.
CFBF and I were in the early stages of dating (maybe 1 or 2 months in).
I was running errands one day and needed to pick a few things up from the supermarket. He tagged along.

I went round the supermarket and he kept chucking items into the trolley. Fine with me, no point in 2 trolleys.
He put his stuff on the conveyor (sans divider!) whilst I was packing mine. I didn't notice until he said he needed to pop to the loo. He left me to pay for everything.! I was mortified and hadn't grown the lady balls yet to stand up for myself well. I paid and asked him for the money when he got back. He told me he forgot his wallet and would give it to me when he came next time. He didn't.

In fact the next time he showed up I was leaving for the cinema with my best friend. We told CFBF we already had plans. My Best friend was paying because it was his turn and I was skint (thanks to CFBF's shopping which he forgot to bring his money for again!)
I locked up the house and we all walked to the bus together. CFBF got on too as it was also his bus.

We got off in town. CFBF got off with us. Okaaaay...
We got to the cinema. CFBF still with us.
I asked if he was heading home and he said no, I'll come with you! Hmm.. whatever, I couldn't really stop him.

He walked in just ahead of us. The desk clerk had the tickets printed when we got there and best friend paid. It wasn't until we were at the concessions counter he realised he'd paid for three, not two. CFBF has asked for three tickets and not paid his one. It was so awkward that best friend couldn't bring himself to actually say anything.
I stopped answering the door to CFBF after that night and best friend and I have been laughing about him for 20 years now. I should have realised when he only turned up at mine in time for dinner and I'd feed him not wanting to be impolite!! blushhmm

Antigon Tue 13-Nov-18 14:37:21

Oooh I love a CF thread!
So glad you caught on quick Boris and ghosted him!

I was once asked 'what are you doing for us on your birthday?' by a sibling which I found very cheeky.

And recently had an aunt come to stay who expected to be treated to all restaurant meals but never invites us to stay with her.

Santaispolishinghissleigh Tue 13-Nov-18 14:40:03

Dd is a bold cf:
Looks in our fridge and will announce if we have dublicate items and insist she takes 1 as she doesn't have any in her fridge!!
Ds has just bought his own house and I will be much more on the ball this time!!

Woooman Tue 13-Nov-18 14:51:15

When I was a student an old friend came to visit me at uni. It had been planned for a few months. I picked her up from the station and she asks what I'd planned for the weekend and a few things she wanted to do. We went back to mine, chat, have a few drinks, get ready for a night out. As we're walking to the student union we passed a cash point and she asks if she can borrow some money as she has none! I was like "what do you mean you have no money?" and she tells me, with no embarrassment or shame at all, that she wanted to have new clothes for this weekend so she spent all her wages on new clothing. I was silently seething as I was working part time whilst studying and having to fund my own rent, food etc. She on the other hand lived at home and paid for nothing. Her entire monthly wages went on herself. Anyway, long story short, at that point I was young and experienced and didn't want to cause any difficulty so I funded her entire weekend. She promised she'd send me money to cover it all once she next got paid. At the end of the weekend I sent her off on her train feeling so angry only to return to my room to discover that she'd had sex in my bed and my duvet and bedsheet were covered in white stains! In addition I had to chase her for months for the money she owed me (£100). She got upperty with me, told me she couldn't afford to pay it and her nab would send me a cheque. I received a cheque a few days later for £20. That was the beginning of the end for our relationship although shamefully it took me many more piss takes and years before I ditched her for good.

Woooman Tue 13-Nov-18 14:52:37

Nan not nab

MsHopey Tue 13-Nov-18 14:58:44

My first "date" was with a CF.
I was insecure and 16 and had a lot of issues, but we were meeting at the cinema where he'd "forgotten his wallet" so I paid. Then he wanted something to eat and I was too awkward and didn't want to ruin the date and I paid again. Then we both went home and I never heard from him again. One friend told me he'd been chatting her up and he'd been telling her how fat and unattractive I am and he wouldn't really fancy me anyway.
She was a shite friend so no clue if it's true or not but what a knob either way.
Met DH shortly after and he's treated me pretty good since then.

Annajohnsdottir Tue 13-Nov-18 15:00:05

My friends mum is notoriously tight despite being quite well off. Perhaps that's how she came to be minted - never puts her hand in her pocket!

Anyway, one afternoon I was at my friends house doing a joint homework project together when her mum comes in and asks if we need anything from the Post Office and she's going there. My friend asked if she could please get 2 photocopies of a picture for our project. So her mum goes off and comes back later with them. She looked at us both and said "It was 2p a copy so that'll be 2p from each of you please." I was stunned and thought she was joking. I turned to my friend to laugh with her only to see her rummaging through her purse for 2p! So I quickly did the same and handed it over. I was only 10! That was 2% of my weekly pocket money!

Annajohnsdottir Tue 13-Nov-18 15:02:21

Forgot to add not a CF as such but definitely tight!

spanishwife Tue 13-Nov-18 15:08:54

Asking a child for 2p is CF in my book!

Annajohnsdottir Tue 13-Nov-18 15:12:53

Never thought of it that way. Good point!

krustykittens Tue 13-Nov-18 15:15:15

This didn't happen to me, but to a friend. She wanted to go for a weekend to Budapest and asked a mutual friend if she would like to come along. Friend said yes, they booked flights, which my friend paid for on her CC with the promise of being paid back on the weekend and off they went. "Friend" waited until they were actually at the hotel in Budapest to tell her that she didn't have a bean and friend would be funding her for the entire weekend but don't worry she would pay her back. Friend was gobsmacked but didn't want to ruin the weekend so put everything on the CC and of course, it took nearly a year to get paid back!

midsomermurderess Tue 13-Nov-18 15:16:01

I was arranging to get someone to fix the broken lock on the front door of the flat where I live. I gave everyone the quote they all agreed, When I went to get the share from one of the neighbours, she didn't have it, having just come back from holiday in Japan and her buy-to-let being between tenants. She paid me back with the odd tenner here and there. Sly, crafty user is what she is.

spanishwife Tue 13-Nov-18 15:16:51

I remember being at a friends dad's house as a teenage - she declared we were having chinese (dad was weird and always hid when I was there) but she went and asked him for money to buy it, he handed over a fiver for her dinner. I was expected just to find the money to pay for my own. I was given pocket money but a small amount for things like cinema tickets, not a meal at a friends house! Maybe not CF as I looking back they weren't well off, but just seemed odd that the adult in the situation would lack that awareness to not provide food for a child. There wasn't any food being cooked or any alternative.

BorisAndDoris Tue 13-Nov-18 15:18:00

Ooh I just remembered a college friend. She was moaning she was hungry after college and I was heading to Macdonalds. I had just £8 left of my PT wages. She asked if I'd please get her some food (she never had money so I did pay a lot of her meals). To be nice I decided I'd get off a few bus stops earlier and walk and I could stretch to two happy meals instead of just my own.

After eating she wandered into HMV and bought a boyzone CD. When I questioned her she told me she HAD to have it and that's what her money had been for, she couldn't have spent it on a Maccy's!

kennelmaid Tue 13-Nov-18 15:19:08

Can't think of any examples but I have definitely been a CF in the past but always a generous one.

thenightsky Tue 13-Nov-18 15:19:55

My mate can be if I don't keep an eye on things. Usually she drinks and I have sparkling water/coke etc. So, we go out to eat. She will always order a large wine. By the time the main course comes she's finished the wine so orders another. So it goes on. By the end she's normally drunk about 3 or 4 glasses (£15 to £20 at restaurant prices). Bill comes. She always whips her card out and says to waiter … 'put half on that'. hmm

RudolphsJinglingBalls Tue 13-Nov-18 15:22:47

Years ago me and my a friend from college were both poor single mums studying and raising sprogs. Once a month I would go to hers and the following month she would come to mine. This worked really well and we would split drinks costs until she said her birthday was due around. I said I would drive us, and pay for a weekend away in a caravan for us and the kids as a gift. She was delighted, absolutely chuffed to bits. She turned up on the Friday at noon, dropped her son on the doorstep and went off with a new fella for the weekend and left me with her 2 year old (I had only met him three times for 10 minutes) as well as my kids. I was just stood there open mouthed and speechless. Her phone was magically off for the entire weekend and when she came to collect him she couldn't understand why I was furious. We were not friends after that.

cocodash Tue 13-Nov-18 15:22:59

Love this thread!

i dont have one that i can think of but just marking it so i can read it later when more comments come up!! haha

cjt110 Tue 13-Nov-18 15:24:33

Inlaws took us out for a meal - as in asked would we like to go to X for a meal. We live 150 miles away and travelled to see them, ferried them to the pub which they had a voucher for from SIL for Christmas that was about 20 miles from theirs - then didn't pay for us!

Hortonlovesahoo Tue 13-Nov-18 15:24:52

My first bf was a complete CF. He'd ask to borrow £10, get his lunch and then give me back the change and "forget" to give me the rest. After about £50 of this, I stopped giving him money and he just went to another friend to ask for money. Funny thing is that he'd never buy me lunch or anything but would always spend everything on himself or his mates.

ThisIsWhatItSoundsLike Tue 13-Nov-18 15:25:40

Just bought joint prezzies with a group of friends for another friends birthday.
I bought some my other friend bought some, roughly came to same price.
I have just had a message off her asking for my half of her spend !!!!!! My spend has not been taken into account 
Stupid me will of course pay her demand, but seething underneath

RTFT Tue 13-Nov-18 15:30:24

ThisIsWhatItSoundsLike tell her you've already got your presents so you won't be contributing!

spanishwife Tue 13-Nov-18 15:31:17

ThisIsWhatItSoundsLike so ask for half of your spend? or say 'actually mine came to X so lets call it quits?' - easy peasy, don't be a doormat

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Tue 13-Nov-18 15:31:26

Why wouldn’t you remind her that you have already paid for half the presents, @ThisIsWhatItSoundsLike?

Cheeky fuckers need standing up to.

Piffle11 Tue 13-Nov-18 15:32:05

I have a friend who is very … careful … with money. When she, I and another friend got our first full time jobs at 18 we thought we were far too mature to live at home, and rented a house for 6 months. My DF bought us two smoke alarms and fitted them, other friend's DM brought us some supplies, and CF friend's DF, a qualified electrician, came around and fitted an extra socket - which CF had requested, not me other other friend. CF's DF then proceeded to charge us for parts and labour. I knew then where CF friend got it from!

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