My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Children giving up their seats..

447 replies

whatsthepointthen · 13/11/2018 10:13

I was on the bus this morning and my 2 children were sat in the seats, this is a small bus and gets very busy. After a few stops an older woman got on and kept loudly bitching that my kids didnt give up their seats and shaking her head.

for context my son fell on this exact bus flat on his back and banged his head on the floor a few months back as he was standing up (and holding on) but the bus whizzed round a corner so now i try to make sure they always get a seat.

Should children always give up their seats for an older person? wibu for not making them?

OP posts:
Report
ScreamingValenta · 13/11/2018 10:14

Does your bus company charge for children's seats, or do they travel free?

Report
fanfan18 · 13/11/2018 10:14

I think it depends if how old your kids are and how elderly and able bodied the other person is.

Report
whatsthepointthen · 13/11/2018 10:15

They travel for free but so do people over a certain age so..?

OP posts:
Report
Disfordarkchocolate · 13/11/2018 10:15

If possible I would have had one on my knee, some bus routes are not suitable for small children to stand up on.

Report
Sirzy · 13/11/2018 10:15

How old are they kids?

If possible I would have sat one on your knee or encouraged them to share a seat

Report
MrsStrowman · 13/11/2018 10:16

If they are young enough (which they are of they're young enough to not be able to stand on a bus without falling) you sit them on your lap so everyone can sit down

Report
whatsthepointthen · 13/11/2018 10:17

I was not seated. I was stood with the baby in the pram. They are 4 and 6.

OP posts:
Report
LettuceP · 13/11/2018 10:18

Depends on the ages of the woman and the children.

Report
NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 13/11/2018 10:18

MN is always divided on this!

My take: anyone at greater risk of falling should have a seat if possible, for their own safety and that of others around them (who they'd land on). After that, its first come first served and nothing to do with whether children are free or half-fare.

My eldest is 6 and I'd expect him to give up his seat for an elderly/infirm/pregnant passenger but not just to any random adult. I think on a busy bus or train I might expect two children to share a seat between them, depending on their ages.

Report
Shockers · 13/11/2018 10:18

When I was a child there were notices on buses saying that children should stand for fare paying adults. I think the bus companies assumed that small children would be on laps. I remember standing for adults.
Whether this is right or wrong, perhaps that woman is from the generation where this was an expectation from the bus companies.

Report
Sirzy · 13/11/2018 10:18

4 and 6 I would have had them squash up so someone else could at least perch on the end

Report
ScreamingValenta · 13/11/2018 10:19

If the other person was of 'bus pass' age, I would expect a younger, able-bodied person to offer them a seat if they were making it clear they needed one.

Report
marine04 · 13/11/2018 10:19

Depending on age I would have put one on my knee or got them to share a seat.
People always give my twins weird looks on buses as if they expect them to stand as they are fifteen (but small so probably look more like 12), but they have a health condition which means it is not safe or even really possible for them to do so. If necessary I stand instead of them to give an elderly person a seat.

Report
LettuceP · 13/11/2018 10:19

Was the woman older (as in older than 18) or elderly?

Report
CakeBiscuit · 13/11/2018 10:19

Roughly how old was the woman OP?

I don’t think children should automatically give up their seats for an older person.

I wonder why the woman didn’t seem upset about other adults not offering her their seats..

Report
NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 13/11/2018 10:19

Yeah, four and six I'd have made share a seat if there weren't enough seats for everyone. When I've had two six year olds on the bus before I've made them share for this reason.

Report
HoleyCoMoley · 13/11/2018 10:20

It depends on their age, could one of them sat on your lap, were you standing or did you have a seat. If someone else really needed a seat I would expect someone to get up but wouldn't like to see a child falling and hurting themselves either, I've seen some very able fit elderly people not give up a seat to a heavily pg woman, I can't remember the last time I saw a man give up a seat for a woman and have seen a wheelchair user have to ask people to move from the disabled seating area.

Report
BertramKibbler · 13/11/2018 10:21

Older person.... are we talking able bodied and 50 or elderly?

As all child has more need of a seat than a healthy adult but less than an elderly or disabled adult

Report
Earthmoon · 13/11/2018 10:22

It depends on who is more in need, there are to many variables to say who should get the seat. In your case I would have offered my own seat, if you had one and were able to ride the bus safely. I may also tell my children to share a seat.

Report
Racecardriver · 13/11/2018 10:22

It depends on the older persons health. If they clearly struggle to stand under ordinary circumstances then it is hard for them than it is for your children and they should get the seat. But if they are just old with no obvious infirmity then I don’t see why anyone should give up a seat for them.

Report
rocketpocket · 13/11/2018 10:22

If the woman was elderly and fell she could end up dying or permanently disabled so I would get at least the six year old to give up a seat but I'm "old fashioned" and polite anyway so I'd have my children stand with me (and hold onto them).

Report
whatsthepointthen · 13/11/2018 10:23

Im not sure how old she was it would be a guess 60s? Like I said I wasnt seated.

OP posts:
Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 13/11/2018 10:23

Would you have said ‘bitching’ if the person who made the comments was a man, OP?

Report
LettuceP · 13/11/2018 10:23

If the lady was elderly then your kids should have shared a seat.

Report
Hermagsjesty · 13/11/2018 10:26

I’d expect my 6yo to stand up for an older person who was struggling but not my 4yo - who doesn’t have the balance to yet and would definitely be at risk of falling over. But to be fair, you’d hope one of the other able-bodies adults on the bus would’ve stood up. I definitely don’t think kids should automatically be the ones to stand - that isn’t why they travel for free - because as you say, older people travel for free too.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.